glitter and magic

por Bill Tiepelman

Trippy Gnomads

Shrooms, Shenanigans, and Soulmates Somewhere between the mossy roots of logic and the leafy canopy of “what the hell,” lived a pair of gnomes so groovy they made Woodstock look like a church bake sale. Their names were Bodhi and Lark, and they didn’t just live in the forest — they vibed with it. Every mushroom cap was a dance floor, every breeze a backing vocal, every squirrel a potential tambourine player in their daily jam session with existence. Bodhi had the beard of a wizard, the belly of a well-fed mystic, and the aura of someone who once tried to meditate inside a beehive “for the buzz.” He wore tie-dye like it was sacred armor and claimed he’d once levitated during a particularly potent batch of lavender tea (Lark said he just fell off the hammock and bounced). Lark, meanwhile, was a radiant chaos goddess in gnome form. Her hair changed color depending on the moon, the tea, or her mood. Her wardrobe was 80% flowy rainbow fabric, 15% bangles that jingled with intention, and 5% whatever she'd bedazzled while “channeling divine glitter.” She was the kind of woman who could make a peace sign look like a mic drop — and often did. The two of them weren’t just a couple — they were a cosmic alignment of snorts, incense, and undeniable soul-meld. They met decades ago at the annual Shroomstock Festival when Bodhi accidentally danced into Lark’s pop-up tea temple mid-spell. The resulting explosion of chamomile, glitter, and bass frequencies knocked both of them into a pile of enchanted moss... and love. Deep, sparkly, sometimes-kinda-illegal-in-some-realms love. Now, decades later, they’d made a cozy life in a hollowed-out toadstool mansion just off the main trail behind a portal disguised as an aggressively judgmental raccoon. They spent their days brewing questionable elixirs, hosting nude drum circles for squirrels, and writing poetry inspired by bark patterns and beetles. But something peculiar had stirred the peace of their technicolor utopia. It started subtly — mushrooms that glowed even when uninvited, birds chirping backwards, and their favorite talking fern suddenly developing a French accent. Bodhi, naturally, blamed Mercury retrograde. Lark suspected the cosmic equilibrium had hiccuped. The real cause? Neither of them knew — yet. But it was definitely about to turn their blissful forest frolic into an unexpected trip of the wildest kind. Cosmic Detours and Glorious Confusions Bodhi woke up to find his beard tied in knots around a mandolin. This wasn’t entirely unusual. What was unusual was the mandolin playing itself, softly humming something suspiciously close to “Stairway to Heaven” in gnomish minor. Lark was levitating six inches above her pillow with a satisfied grin, arms spread like she was doing trust falls with the universe. The air smelled like burnt cinnamon, ozone, and one of their questionable experiments in "emotional aromatherapy." Something was very not-normal in the glade. “Lark, babe,” Bodhi muttered, rubbing sleep from eyes that still glowed faintly from last night’s herbal inhalation, “did we finally crack open the veil between dimensions or did I lick that one too-happy mushroom again?” Lark floated down slowly, her hair swirling like galaxy tendrils. “Neither,” she said, yawning. “I think the forest’s having a midlife crisis. Either that or the earth spirit is trying to vibe-check us.” Before either could dive deeper into spiritual diagnostics, a series of thuds echoed through the glade. A line of mushrooms — fat, bioluminescent, and increasingly annoyed-looking — were marching toward their mushroom house. Not walking. Marching. One of them had a tiny protest sign that read, “WE ARE NOT CHAIRS.” Another had spray-painted itself with the words “FUNGUS ISN’T FREE.” “It’s the spores,” Lark said, eyes widening. “Remember the empathy tea blend we dumped last week because it turned our armpit hair into moss? I think it seeped into the root web. They’re woke now.” “You mean sentient?” “No. Woke. Like, unionizing and emotionally intelligent. Look — they’re forming a drum circle.” Sure enough, a ring of mushrooms had gathered, some tapping on stones with sticks, one chanting in rhythm, “We are more than footstools! We are more than footstools!” Bodhi looked around nervously. “Should we apologize?” “Absolutely not,” Lark said, already pulling out her ceremonial ukulele. “We collaborate.” And thus began the most psychedelic, passive-aggressive negotiation ceremony in woodland history. Lark led the chant. Bodhi rolled joints the size of acorns filled with apology herbs. The mushrooms demanded an annual celebration called Mycelium Appreciation Day and one day off per week from being sat on. Bodhi, overwhelmed by the sincerity of a portobello named Dennis, broke down crying and offered them full sentient citizenship under the Glade’s Common Law of Whoa Dude That’s Fair. As the moon rose and painted everything in a silvery hue, the newly formed G.A.M.E. (Gnomes And Mycelium Entente) signed their Peace Pledge on bark parchment, sealed with glitter and mushroom spore kisses. Bodhi and Lark fell back into their rainbow hammock, emotionally exhausted, and giddy from what might have been historical diplomacy or just a shared hallucination — it was hard to tell anymore. “Do you think we’re... like, actually good at this?” Bodhi asked, snuggling into her shoulder. “Diplomacy?” “No. Life. Loving. Floating with the weird and riding the vibe.” Lark looked up at the stars, one of which winked back at her in obvious approval. “I think we’re nailing it. Especially the part where we mess up just enough to keep learning.” “You’re my favorite mistake,” Bodhi said, kissing her forehead. “You’re my recurring fever dream.” And with that, they faded into sleep, surrounded by a softly snoring circle of sentient mushrooms, the forest finally at peace — for now. Because tomorrow, a sentient pinecone with a ukulele and political ambitions was scheduled to arrive. But that’s a trip for another tale.     Epilogue: Of Spores and Soulmates In the weeks that followed the Great Mushroom Awakening, the forest pulsed with an odd but joyful harmony. Animals began leaving handwritten notes (and mildly passive-aggressive Yelp reviews) on Bodhi and Lark’s door. The sentient fungi launched a twice-weekly improv troupe called “Spores of Thought.” The raccoon portal guardian began charging cover fees for dimension-hoppers, using the proceeds to fund interpretive dance classes for possums. Bodhi built a new meditation space shaped like a peace sign, only to have it claimed by the newly unionized chipmunks as a “creative grievance nest.” Lark started a ‘Gnomic Astrology’ podcast that became wildly popular with owls and rogue squirrels looking to “find their moon-beam alignment.” Life had never been more chaotic. Or more complete. And through it all, Bodhi and Lark danced. In the morning mist. Beneath moon-soaked leaves. On treetops. On tabletops. On mushrooms that now required enthusiastic consent and a signed waiver. They danced like gnomes who understood the world wasn’t meant to be perfect — just passionately weird, deliciously flawed, and infinitely alive. Love, after all, wasn’t about finishing each other’s sentences. It was about starting new ones. With laughter. With glitter. With the kind of kiss that smells faintly of rosemary and rebellion. And in the heart of the forest, where logic took long naps and joy wore bells on its toes, two trippy gnomads kept dancing. Forever just a little off-beat, and absolutely in tune.     Bring the Vibe Home If you felt the funk, the freedom, or maybe just fell a little in love with Lark and Bodhi’s kaleidoscopic chaos, you can invite their spirit into your space. Wrap yourself in the magic with a super-soft fleece blanket that practically hums peace signs. Let the art take over your walls with a forest-sized tapestry or a vibrant canvas print that turns any room into a glade of good vibes. And for those who still believe in snail mail and soul notes, there’s even a greeting card ready to deliver whimsy with a wink. Celebrate weird love. Honor magical mayhem. Support the unionized mushrooms. And most of all, stay trippy, friend.

por Bill Tiepelman

Bailando con la brisa

Bailando con la brisa: Una guía de hadas para el caos y la confianza En el corazón de la Pradera de las Maravillas Improbables, donde las flores silvestres susurraban secretos y las libélulas cotilleaban como madres de barrio, vivía un hada llamada Cala. ¿Y Cala? Bueno, Cala era *muchísima*. No de una forma que *causara la caída de un reino*, aunque, siendo sinceros, probablemente también sería excelente en eso. No, Cala era simplemente la encarnación andante, voladora y brillante de lo "extra". No solo existía. *Prosperaba*. A lo grande. Y a veces a costa de la paciencia de los demás. "No es mi culpa", decía, sacudiendo sus rizos dorados. "Nací fabulosa. Algunas simplemente somos diferentes". La mayoría de las hadas del Prado tenían trabajos sensatos: polinizar flores, controlar el clima, guiar a los viajeros perdidos. Cala, en cambio, tenía un rol autoasignado: *Oficial Principal de Entusiasmo del General Disparate*. Es por eso que, en esta mañana particularmente soleada, ella estaba parada sobre un hongo venenoso, monologando dramáticamente ante una multitud de insectos profundamente desinteresados. El arte de despertar fabuloso Dejemos algo claro: Calla *no* era madrugadora. De hecho, consideraba las mañanas un ataque personal. Llegaban sin invitación, eran innecesariamente brillantes y, lo peor de todo, la obligaban a funcionar. Había perfeccionado una estricta rutina para despertarse: Gruñe dramáticamente y niégate a moverte durante al menos quince minutos. Derriba su frasco de polvo de estrellas (todas. las. mañanas.). Quejarse en voz alta de que la vida era injusta y que necesitaba un asistente personal. Finalmente se levanta de la cama y se mira en el espejo. Admirarse a sí misma. Más admiración. Bueno, *un minuto más* de admiración. Comienza el día. Hoy no fue diferente. Se estiró con deleite, dejó escapar un suspiro de satisfacción y parpadeó con ojos legañosos. Otro día de perfección. Agotador, la verdad. Después de ponerse su *característico* disfraz de hada (un diminuto top corto, pantalones cortos verdes destrozados (cortesía de un desafortunado incidente con un erizo) y una pizca de iluminador con polvo lunar), salió revoloteando de su casa en el hueco del árbol, lista para causar *solo un poco* de caos. El proceso de selección de viento Calla tenía una misión simple hoy: encontrar la brisa *perfecta* y bailar con ella. No *cualquier* viento serviría. No, no, no. Esto era un arte. Una ciencia. Una experiencia espiritual. La brisa tenía que ser la adecuada: lo suficientemente fuerte como para elevarla, lo suficientemente suave como para mantenerla flotando, e idealmente impregnada con un poco de magia. Probó el Rocío Matutino : demasiado húmedo. A nadie le gustan las alitas empapadas. La Ráfaga de Decepción del Mediodía ... demasiado agresiva. Casi la estrella contra un árbol. El Remolino de Indecisión de la Tarde —demasiado impredecible. Casi la llevó a una conversación incómoda con Harold, la ardilla con ansiedad social. Finalmente, justo cuando estaba a punto de rendirse, llegó el Susurro del Atardecer . Cálido, dorado, juguetón. —Oh, sí —ronroneó—. Es esta. Volar, agitarse y lecciones inesperadas Con un impulso, Calla saltó al aire y se dejó llevar por el viento. Giró, dio volteretas, se dejó llevar por el ritmo del cielo. El mundo se desdibujó en rayas verdes y doradas, y por unos instantes perfectos, se sintió ingrávida. Entonces, como la vida es dura, perdió el control. En un instante estaba volando alto. Al siguiente, giraba en espiral, dirigiéndose directamente hacia el *único* obstáculo en un campo abierto: Finn. Finn era un hada como él, conocido sobre todo por su capacidad de suspirar como un anciano atrapado en un cuerpo joven. Era realista, planificador y solucionador de problemas. Por desgracia, también estaba justo donde Cala estaba a punto de estrellarse. “¡MUÉVETE!” gritó. Finn miró hacia arriba, parpadeó y dijo: "Oh, no". Y entonces ella chocó con él, enviándolos a ambos a un grupo de flores silvestres. Informe final sobre el desastre —Calla —susurró Finn debajo de ella—. ¿Por qué? Ella se apartó de él dramáticamente. "Oh, por favor. Eso fue al menos un 70% culpa tuya". Finn se incorporó, quitándose margaritas del pelo. "¿Cómo, exactamente?" De pie. En mi camino. Sin moverme. Con una existencia demasiado sólida. Finn suspiró, como alguien que había tomado malas decisiones en su vida al conocerla. —Entonces —dijo—, ¿cuál fue la lección de hoy? Además de que necesitas practicar tus aterrizajes. Calla estiró los brazos, sonriendo al atardecer. «La vida es como la brisa. A veces vuelas, a veces te estrellas, pero lo importante es... ¡lánzate!». Finn lo pensó. "Vaya. Nada mal". —Claro. —Se echó el pelo hacia atrás—. Vamos. Vamos a tirar piedras al estanque con un toque dramático. Finn gimió, pero lo siguió. ¿Porque Calla? Calla hacía la vida interesante. Llévate la magia a casa ¿Quieres darle un toque de magia y fantasía a tu vida? Ya sea que busques añadir un toque de encanto a tus paredes, disfrutar de la magia acogedora o llevar contigo un trocito del reino de las hadas, estos productos cuidadosamente seleccionados son la manera perfecta de capturar el espíritu de las aventuras de Calla. ✨ Impresión en lienzo: Realza tu espacio con la impresionante impresión en lienzo "Bailando con la Brisa" . Deja que la energía despreocupada de Calla te inspire a diario. 🧚 Almohada decorativa: añade un poco de polvo de hadas a tu hogar con esta mágica almohada decorativa , perfecta para soñar despierto y suspirar dramáticamente. Manta de forro polar: Envuélvete en la acogedora magia de las hadas con esta manta de forro polar ultrasuave. Ideal para las noches frías o para planear tus próximas travesuras. 👜 Bolso Tote: Lleva un toque de magia a donde vayas con este encantador bolso Tote . Perfecto para recados mágicos y aventuras espontáneas. La vida es corta; rodéate de cosas que te hagan sonreír. Y recuerda: cuando el viento sopla a favor, baila siempre. 🧚✨