whimsical tale

por Bill Tiepelman

The Floral Jester's Solitude

Once upon a time—because everything always seems to start with “Once upon a time” and I’m not about to break tradition—there was a clown. And not the fun kind either. No balloons, no honking noses, just one seriously depressed jester sitting in a chair that looked like it was stolen from a 1950s grandmother’s house. You know, the kind with way too many flowers and that questionable smell of lavender and... regret. The clown, whose name was probably something ridiculous like “Bingo” or “Sparkles,” sat there for days. Or maybe it was years. It’s hard to tell when your only companions are flowers that smell better than you and shoes that are two sizes too big. He wasn’t quite sure how he ended up in this floral prison, but he had a feeling it involved one too many tequila shots and a dare gone horribly wrong. Clowns, after all, weren’t known for their life choices. As Sparkles (we’re just going to call him that) slumped deeper into the overstuffed armchair—like a sad sack of potatoes in a velvet tracksuit—he sighed. Not a cute little sigh either. It was more like the kind of sound you make when you realize your credit card bill is due, and you’ve been buying “self-care” items from online influencers for three weeks straight. Yup, Sparkles was tired. And not just “I need a nap” tired—no, he was bone-weary, soul-crushing, existential-crisis tired. The kind that comes from a life of painted smiles and pratfalls, all while your internal monologue is screaming “Why do I even bother?” The flowers didn’t help. They were too bright, too cheerful, like those people who always tell you to “look on the bright side.” If Sparkles had a dollar for every time someone said that to him, he wouldn’t be sitting in this hideous chair. He’d be in a mansion somewhere, probably still miserable, but at least he’d have good Wi-Fi. He looked at the petals around him, blooming with obnoxious, vibrant joy, and wondered if they were mocking him. If flowers could laugh, these ones would sound like a bad laugh track from a 90s sitcom. “Oh look at you, Sparkles,” they seemed to whisper, “sitting there all mopey while we’re out here thriving. Pathetic.” But it wasn’t his fault. He tried, okay? He tried the whole 'happy clown' thing, but it turns out there’s only so much glitter and red nose-wearing a person can do before the crushing weight of absurdity sets in. And now? Well, now he was just a weird guy with face paint, sitting alone in a chair that screamed “I’ve given up” louder than his last relationship did. The flowers weren’t the only weird thing though. There was a strange smell. It wasn't coming from him—though let's be honest, he wasn't exactly fresh. No, this smell was more... floral? But also kind of like old socks? The kind you find in the bottom of your gym bag that have been there since the last time you actually exercised—which was, let’s face it, 2017. Sparkles wrinkled his nose and glanced around. Maybe it was the chair? Had the chair always smelled like that? It had definitely seen some things. He was pretty sure if it could talk, it would tell stories that would make him blush. And he was a clown. Blushing was practically part of the uniform. One of the flowers—a particularly smug-looking rose—swayed gently as if to say, “What, you thought this was going to get better? Honey, you’re a clown in a floral chair. Just embrace the weirdness.” And honestly, that was solid advice. Sparkles took a deep breath, or at least as deep as you can when you’re wearing pants made of satin that squeak every time you move. He decided then and there to stop caring. If the flowers wanted to mock him, fine. If his shoes were too big, whatever. If he was sitting in what looked like the living room of a retired circus performer who had an unhealthy obsession with floral patterns, so be it. He was Sparkles, dammit, and if this was his life now, he was going to make the most of it. He reached down, grabbing one of the overgrown dahlias next to him. “Hey,” he muttered to it, “you’re coming with me.” The flower didn’t resist (because, let’s be real, it was a flower). He placed it in the pocket of his garish jacket, giving himself a little flair. If he was going to be a sad clown in a ridiculous chair, at least he could accessorize. And that was that. Sparkles, now with a newfound sense of defiant apathy, sat back, crossed his oversized feet, and stared off into the middle distance, waiting for whatever came next. Probably more flowers. Or maybe a nap. Either way, he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. The chair had claimed him, and honestly, he was okay with that. After all, it wasn’t the worst thing that had happened to him. That honor went to the time he tried to juggle chainsaws at a bachelorette party. But that’s a story for another day.     The Ballad of Sparkles the Clown Oh Sparkles the clown, in his floral despair, Sits slumped in a chair that smells worse than the air. His shoes are too big, his life’s a sad joke, And his satin pants squeak every time that he spoke. “What the hell happened? Where did it go wrong?” He wonders while tugging his pant leg along. Was it the booze? The tequila? The shots? Or that one time with chainsaws? (He forgets lots). “The flowers are smug,” Sparkles whispers with spite, “They mock me, they taunt me, with colors so bright.” Those roses, those dahlias, those blooms full of cheer, He glared at them all with a cynical sneer. “Oh sure, you look happy, so plump and so lush,” But you don’t know crap about being a mush!” He pulled at his ruffles, adjusted his nose, And mumbled some insults at the damned happy rose. His hair was like cotton, his smile was a mess, But Sparkles the clown was done caring, I guess. He’d given up hope, tossed it all to the wind, And sat there like laundry no one bothered to spin. “Screw it,” he said, with a chuckle and snort, “I’m a clown in a chair. What more can I court?” He crossed his fat feet, leaned back with a shrug, And whispered, “Life’s short. Let’s all just say... 'bug!'” So Sparkles stayed put, in his floral cocoon, A clown in the corner, humming some tune. If you find him someday, don’t ask him what’s wrong— He’s busy not caring. (And the flowers? Still strong.)     Feeling inspired by Sparkles' floral-infused existential crisis? Or maybe you just need something to brighten up your home that screams “I’ve given up, but make it fashion”? Either way, you can bring a bit of that quirky clown energy into your life. Check out throw pillows that will cushion your own self-loathing, or grab a fleece blanket to wrap yourself in while you ponder your poor life choices. If you’re more of the artsy type (and let’s face it, aren’t we all pretending to be?), hang a wood print of Sparkles on your wall and let him judge you from the corner of the room. And for those who really want to take the clown on the go, there’s even a stylish tote bag—because nothing says 'I'm over it' like carrying your groceries with a sad clown by your side. Shop now and embrace the weirdness!

por Bill Tiepelman

El reposo de la brizna de agua

Era un suave crepúsculo cuando Eleanor decidió que era necesario cuidar las caléndulas. Con su regadera en mano, deambuló por el sendero adoquinado que conducía a su preciado jardín, un lienzo exuberante de los tonos más vívidos de la naturaleza. El sol, un tímido disco escarlata, se hundía bajo el horizonte, pintando el cielo con pinceladas de naranja y púrpura. Al llegar al enclave verde, Eleanor sintió un susurro de aire, un indicio sutil de que esta noche no era como las demás. El jardín estaba en plena floración, una orquesta de pétalos y hojas interpretando una sinfonía para los sentidos. Eleanor comenzó su ritual, bañando el suelo sediento con agua vivificante, cada gota reflejaba el crepúsculo como pequeñas linternas suspendidas. Fue en medio de este armonioso interludio que notó un brillo peculiar junto a la vieja pila para pájaros, donde no se había derramado agua. Atraída por el brillo, Eleanor se acercó y se encontró mirando los ojos curiosos de una criatura a la vez extravagante y familiar. Allí, apoyada contra el desgastado grifo, había un hada no más grande que un gorrión, con sus alas como un delicado entramado de luces y sombras. Los ojos del hada, vastos charcos de curiosidad, sostenían a Eleanor en una mirada que hablaba de bosques antiguos y susurraba cuentos de antaño. “Buenas noches”, dijo el hada, su voz era una melodía que resonaba con el susurro de las hojas a su alrededor. “Espero que no te importe que descanse aquí. El aura de tu jardín es muy rejuvenecedora y he viajado muy lejos”. Eleanor, una vez sorprendida, sintió que una serenidad inexplicable la invadía, como si el jardín mismo la hubiera preparado para este momento de magia. Eleanor, aunque desconcertada por el hada parlante, sintió un sentimiento de honor. “De nada aquí”, respondió ella, con voz firme, envalentonada por la presencia del invitado mágico del jardín. “Pero nunca antes había visto algo así. ¿Hay más de ustedes? El hada se rió, con un sonido como de campanadas en una suave brisa, y sacudió la cabeza. “Somos muchos, pero rara vez nos vemos. Revoloteamos por el mundo sin ser vistos, cuidadores de la belleza invisible de la naturaleza. Esta noche, tu amabilidad me ha dado fuerza y, a cambio, compartiré un secreto”. Con un gesto de su mano, el hada hizo una señal a Eleanor para que se acercara al grifo, del que ahora goteaba un agua tan pura y luminosa que parecía imbuida de la esencia misma de la vida misma. “Esta agua”, continuó el hada, “ahora está encantada. Úselo para nutrir su jardín y las flores llevarán la magia de las hadas. Florecerán más allá de lo que las manos mortales por sí solas podrían cultivar”. Eleanor, llena de asombro, asintió, comprendiendo la gravedad del regalo que le habían dado. Cuando las estrellas comenzaron a perforar la noche aterciopelada, el hada se preparó para partir. “Recuerde, la bondad genera asombro”, impartió con una sonrisa de complicidad. Dicho esto, se elevó en el aire y sus alas captaron el brillo plateado de la luna, dejando tras de sí un rastro de polvo de estrellas reluciente. Eleanor, sola una vez más, se volvió hacia sus caléndulas con un sentido de propósito, regadera en mano, lista para presenciar la transformación del jardín con la luz del amanecer. Un toque de magia en cada día Cuando amaneció el nuevo día, Eleanor encontró su jardín transformado. Las caléndulas brillaban con un rocío que brillaba bajo el cálido abrazo del sol, cada pétalo infundido con el encanto del regalo del hada. Con el corazón lleno de gratitud, Eleanor decidió difundir la magia que le había sido concedida. Se dirigió a su estudio, un rincón acogedor donde elaboraba objetos maravillosos, cada uno de ellos inspirado en su encuentro a la luz de la luna. Diseñó una alfombrilla para ratón , suave y vibrante, que capturó la escena misma del reposo del hada. Aportaría un toque de esa magia tranquila a las tareas diarias de quienes lo usaran. A continuación, armó un rompecabezas , invitando a otros a sumergirse en la tranquilidad de armar el rincón escondido del hada. Para las paredes que ansiaban maravillas, imprimió una serie de carteles , cada uno de los cuales era una ventana al mundo encantador del que había estado al tanto. Y para aquellos que deambulan por el mundo, creó bolsos de mano y bolsitas , para que pudieran llevar un pedazo de la serenidad del hada dondequiera que fueran. Las creaciones de Eleanor, impregnadas de la esencia de esa noche mágica, eran más que simples objetos; eran recipientes de una historia, portadores de un momento extraordinario en el que el velo entre los mundos se había adelgazado y el asombro había fluido tan libremente como el agua de un viejo grifo en un humilde jardín.