snarky humor

by Bill Tiepelman

Splashing in Magic Waters

Deep in the heart of the enchanted autumn woods, where the leaves were ablaze in shades of red and gold, there lived a gnome named Gribble. Now, Gribble wasn’t your average, everyday garden-variety gnome. No, no. He was as mischievous as they came, with a snicker that could make the trees blush and a wit sharper than the blade he never actually used. Let’s be honest, Gribble was more about fun than work. And then there was Sprout. Ah, Sprout—his pint-sized dragon companion. Sprout was... well, "adorably chaotic" is a good way to put it. With wings too big for his body and a tendency to hiccup smoke rings, he was like a flying toddler with an attitude. Together, they were a walking (or flying) disaster, but in the most entertaining way possible. One crisp autumn afternoon, Gribble and Sprout were on a stroll through the forest, not looking for trouble (which meant trouble was definitely going to find them). They came upon a stream, the water clear and cold, reflecting the fiery canopy of leaves above. Gribble, always up for a bit of nonsense, decided this was the perfect time for a break from ‘important gnome business.’ And by that, he meant absolutely nothing productive. The Plan (or Lack Thereof) "Alright, Sprout," Gribble said, rubbing his hands together, eyes gleaming with glee. "Time for a bath!" Now, dragons don’t traditionally love water, but Sprout, with his unpredictable baby brain, decided today was the day he’d be an exception. With a high-pitched squeal that sounded like a kettle about to blow, he launched himself into the stream, flapping his tiny wings and spraying water everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean all over Gribble’s face. "Ah! You soggy little lizard!" Gribble sputtered, wiping his beard, which now looked more like a soaked mop than the dignified tangle it usually was. "I said you take a bath, not me!" Sprout, of course, was far too busy splashing and blowing little fire-bubbles to listen. Every few seconds, the dragon would hiccup, sending out a spark of flame that turned into harmless bubbles in the cool air. A bubble popped on Gribble’s nose, and he couldn’t help but snort in amusement. The little pest was too cute to stay mad at for long. The Splash War Begins "Alright, Sprout," Gribble said with a wicked grin, rolling up his sleeves. "If it’s a splash war you want, it’s a splash war you’ll get!" He leapt into the stream with all the grace of a rock tied to an anvil. Water exploded in all directions as the gnome belly-flopped into the shallow creek, sending waves cascading over the unsuspecting Sprout, who immediately retaliated with a gust of wing-flapping and shrill giggles. Gnomes weren’t exactly known for their swimming abilities, but Gribble didn’t care. He was having the time of his life. And so it went, back and forth, with Gribble laughing like a madman and Sprout trying his best to drown him in two inches of water. To any casual observer, it looked like a full-blown riot had broken out between a miniature dragon and an overgrown garden ornament. And to be fair, that’s not too far off the mark. "You call that a splash?" Gribble bellowed, swiping a wave toward Sprout, who ducked and responded with an expertly timed tail-flick that sent water straight into Gribble’s open mouth. "Gah! You slimy little..." Gribble sputtered again, but his laughter was louder than his complaints. He could’ve sworn Sprout was actually smirking at him. Cheeky lizard. Serenity, Interrupted As the sun dipped lower, casting a warm orange glow over the forest, Gribble and Sprout finally collapsed onto the shore, soaked and exhausted. The forest around them had returned to its usual serene self, the birds singing sweetly, the leaves rustling softly in the breeze. It was almost... peaceful. Until Sprout hiccupped again. This time, instead of bubbles, a tiny jet of flame shot out, catching Gribble’s boot on fire. "Well, that’s just perfect," Gribble groaned, staring at the tiny flame that had decided to settle on his foot. He lazily dipped it into the stream to put it out. "Thanks, Sprout. Really. Just what I needed." Sprout gave an apologetic chirp and then, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, splashed Gribble one last time. The gnome sighed dramatically, raising his eyes to the sky. "I don’t know why I keep you around," Gribble muttered. "But then again, who else would set my foot on fire just to get a laugh?" With a huff of mock indignation, Gribble stood up, his clothes still dripping. He looked down at the soaking wet dragon, who was now curled up in the shallows, tail flicking contentedly in the water. Gribble couldn't help but grin. For all their chaos, he wouldn’t have it any other way. "Alright, come on then, you soggy salamander," Gribble said with a smirk, offering Sprout his hand. "Let’s go find something else to ruin." And off they went, leaving a trail of wet footprints and charred leaves behind them, two mischievous companions bound to wreak havoc on whatever unsuspecting corner of the forest they found next. Because in the life of a gnome and his dragon, there's no such thing as a dull moment.     If you’ve fallen in love with Gribble and Sprout’s chaotic adventures, you can bring a piece of their whimsical world into your own! Prints, products, downloads, and licensing options for this delightful image are available in the My Gnomies Archive. Whether you’re looking for a splash of magic for your walls or unique gifts that capture the joy of these mischievous companions, explore the collection today!

by Bill Tiepelman

The Laughing Gnome and His Winged Friend

Deep in the heart of the Enchanted Forest, where the mushrooms grow larger than houses and the flowers sing you lullabies (usually to distract you before they spit pollen in your face), lived a gnome named Grubnuk. Grubnuk wasn't your average gnome. While most of his fellow gnomes were busy crafting tiny shoes for even tinier feet or meditating under dew-soaked leaves, Grubnuk preferred chaos. He was the kind of gnome that would superglue your shoes to the floor just for the laugh, then hand you a cup of tea afterward as if nothing had happened. The grin on his face told you everything you needed to know—Grubnuk was trouble. On this particularly sunny day, Grubnuk had one hand held up in a peace sign, the other balancing his trusty sidekick, a miniature dragon named Snort. Why “Snort”? Because this tiny creature had the irritating habit of sneezing fire every time it laughed, which happened to be often, thanks to Grubnuk’s pranks. Together, they made the perfect pair of mischief-makers—one with an endless supply of obnoxious humor, the other a living flamethrower with a sense of timing that could put any comedian to shame. "Alright, Snort, what’s the plan for today?" Grubnuk said, his legs dangling off a mushroom that was about as large as a coffee table, if said coffee table also happened to be made of fungus and poor life choices. Snort let out a squeaky roar, flapping his wings with all the grace of a wet towel being thrown at a wall. His tongue flopped out as he inhaled for another fire-laced sneeze, which, by the way, was precisely how the last gnome village ended up as nothing more than a pile of smoking rubble. Grubnuk, ever the enabler, laughed. He knew exactly what that meant. "Perfect. We'll start by messing with the elves. They're still mad about that whole ‘spiked hair-growth potion’ incident. Apparently, it wasn't as ‘temporary’ as I promised." The two set off through the forest, leaving behind their peaceful mushroom perch. They wove through a meadow of oversized daisies, which Grubnuk casually watered with a bottle of ‘magically enhanced fertilizer.’ The kind of enhancement that ensured the flowers would grow arms and start waving at confused passersby by noon. The Elf Ambush As they approached the elves’ domain—well-manicured treehouses and sparkling pathways—the gnome-dragon duo began to plot their next move. Grubnuk’s eyes gleamed with that special glint of a man... er, gnome… about to ruin someone's day. "Alright, Snort. Phase one: find the leader’s fancy cloak and… modify it." Snort puffed out his chest proudly, a bit of smoke escaping his nostrils as he fluttered off toward the elves' wardrobe line. A few moments later, he returned with a regal-looking cloak in his claws, as well as what looked suspiciously like the elf leader’s underwear (but that was just a bonus). Grubnuk cracked his knuckles and began to sew in a few 'enhancements.' Oh, it still looked as elegant as ever, but now it came with a surprise feature—tiny enchanted spiders that would scurry out from the hem and climb up the wearer’s legs, perfectly invisible to anyone else but the unfortunate soul wearing the cloak. The best part? The wearer would think they were going mad, and that's where the real fun began. Chaos Unleashed As the elf leader strode proudly into view, resplendent in his royal cloak, the mischief began. One by one, invisible spiders crept up his legs, making him swat at the air and twitch uncontrollably. It started with a light scratch, then a frantic shake of his foot, and finally, the cloak was flung off as he yelped, "By the Great Oak, I’m infested!" Elves scattered, some in sheer terror, others pointing and laughing. Grubnuk, sitting behind a bush with Snort, was in absolute stitches, practically falling over with laughter. "Priceless," he wheezed. "Oh, this is going in the prank hall of fame!" Snort, for his part, let out a satisfied snort—a mini fireball escaping his nose and singeing a nearby bush. The elves were too busy dealing with the cloak fiasco to notice. Lucky for them. Grubnuk, however, grinned even wider. “You know what, Snort? We should probably leave before they find out it was us. Again." But the fun wasn’t over. As they snuck away, Grubnuk noticed the elves’ prized ceremonial flowers, the kind that bloomed only once a decade. A wicked thought crossed his mind. "One more thing before we go," he whispered, pulling out a pouch of itching powder. With a devilish glint in his eye, he sprinkled the powder over the delicate petals. By the time the elves got back to their beloved flowers, they'd be scratching so hard they wouldn’t be able to sit still for a week. “Ah, the sweet scent of chaos,” Grubnuk said as they escaped back into the forest, the echo of elf curses chasing them into the trees. The Aftermath Back at their mushroom perch, Grubnuk and Snort settled in for the evening. The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the forest, while somewhere far off, the elves were still undoubtedly dealing with the aftermath of the day’s pranks. “Another successful day of mischief, my friend,” Grubnuk said, kicking off his boots and leaning back on the soft mushroom cap. Snort curled up beside him, puffing out little smoke rings as if in agreement. “What should we do tomorrow?” Grubnuk mused aloud, already scheming. Snort responded with a tiny sneeze, igniting the edge of Grubnuk’s beard. Grubnuk slapped out the flames, laughing. “Good one, Snort. Always keeping me on my toes.” He patted the dragon’s head affectionately. “But just wait till tomorrow. We’re going after the dwarves next." And with that, the two fell asleep, their dreams filled with new pranks, singed beards, and just the right amount of chaos to keep things interesting in the Enchanted Forest.    Bring the Mischief Home! Love the playful, chaotic energy of Grubnuk and Snort? Why not bring a little of that magic into your own space? Check out this vibrant tapestry featuring the laughing gnome and his winged companion. Or, if you're a fan of something more interactive, challenge yourself with this whimsical puzzle. Add a touch of magic to your walls with a beautiful framed print, or cozy up with a throw pillow that’s perfect for your own whimsical naps. Don’t miss your chance to make a little mischief part of your home decor!

by Bill Tiepelman

The Harvest Hoot: Owl’s Autumn Adventure

In the heart of the forest, where the trees were ablaze with autumn colors and the ground was a patchwork quilt of crunchy leaves, there lived a very peculiar owl. His name? Well, he didn’t really care to tell anyone his name. To most of the woodland creatures, he was simply that owl, but to himself, he was known as Archimedes—a name he had plucked from a dusty library book left behind by a lost hiker. Archimedes wasn’t your average owl. Sure, he had the usual owl trappings: feathers, big eyes, and an annoying tendency to hoot at inopportune moments. But what really set him apart was his love for all things autumn—and not in the basic, pumpkin-spice-latte way. Oh no, Archimedes was a full-on fall fanatic, with a weakness for harvest festivals, crunchy leaves, and most importantly, pumpkins. It was mid-October, and the annual forest harvest festival was just around the corner. Naturally, Archimedes was feeling pretty smug. Every year, the animals gathered for the big event: there were the squirrels showing off their acorn-hauling skills, the foxes running their speed races, and the rabbits competing in some highly questionable pie-eating contests. Archimedes, of course, had long since declared himself the “Pumpkin Patch Overseer”—a completely self-appointed title that no one bothered to contest. Feathers, Pumpkins, and a Hat “Looking good, Archimedes!” a chipper chipmunk called out as she scurried by, her cheeks stuffed with what appeared to be at least twenty acorns. “Love the hat!” “Obviously,” Archimedes muttered, fluffing his feathers. He was indeed sporting a rather dashing autumn hat—a little number he’d “borrowed” from a scarecrow in a nearby field. It was adorned with miniature pumpkins, berries, and even a few fancy feathers. Not that he cared about aesthetics, of course. He wore it for functionality. Yes, it kept his head warm… in theory. “Nice hat,” another voice chimed in, this time from a passing rabbit. Archimedes let out an exaggerated sigh. “Why, thank you,” he said dryly, “because what I really needed in my life was more commentary on my fashion choices from woodland critters who don’t even wear pants.” The rabbit blinked, then shrugged and bounced away, muttering something about owls and their attitudes. The Pumpkin Problem As the sun began to set, casting a warm orange glow over the forest, Archimedes turned his attention to the real reason he had chosen to oversee the pumpkin patch: the pumpkins themselves. These pumpkins weren’t just any pumpkins—they were enchanted. Every year, on the night of the harvest festival, something strange happened in the patch. The pumpkins, for reasons unknown to any of the animals, glowed with an eerie, otherworldly light. Some said it was magic. Others blamed it on the squirrels messing around with leftover fairy dust. This year, Archimedes was determined to find out what was going on. He fluffed up his feathers and perched proudly atop the biggest pumpkin he could find, ready to keep watch. Or at least he would have, if a gust of wind hadn’t sent his hat flying right into a nearby thorn bush. “For crying out loud,” he muttered, hopping off the pumpkin with a level of indignation only an owl in a fancy hat could muster. The Mystery of the Glowing Gourds As the night wore on, the animals began to gather around the pumpkin patch, waiting for the annual glow-up. Archimedes, having retrieved his now slightly tattered hat, was perched on a nearby tree branch, watching the crowd with a critical eye. “I don’t get the big deal,” one squirrel whispered to another. “They’re just pumpkins.” “Just pumpkins?” Archimedes hooted in disbelief. “These are the most mysterious gourds in the entire forest. You’ve clearly never seen the magic of Halloween.” Sure enough, as the moon rose high above the trees, the pumpkins began to glow. Softly at first, then brighter and brighter, until the entire patch was bathed in an eerie, magical light. The squirrels stopped chattering. The rabbits quit hopping around. Even the always-dramatic foxes fell silent. Everyone was mesmerized by the scene. “See?” Archimedes said, nodding to himself. “It’s magic. Pure, pumpkin-spiced magic.” But just as he was about to congratulate himself on a successful night of overseeing, something strange began to happen. One of the pumpkins—a particularly large one near the center of the patch—started to move. “Uh… does anyone else see that?” a nearby raccoon whispered, eyes wide. Before anyone could answer, the pumpkin wobbled, shook, and then—POOF—it exploded in a cloud of glowing orange mist. And from the mist, a tiny, rather confused ghost appeared, floating a few inches off the ground. “Well, that’s new,” Archimedes muttered, his feathers ruffling in surprise. A Hooting Good Time The ghost, who looked like it was just as surprised to be there as anyone else, blinked its big, wide eyes and looked around at the stunned animals. “Uh… boo?” it said, uncertainly. “Boo?” Archimedes scoffed. “That’s the best you’ve got? It’s Halloween, for crying out loud. At least try to be scary.” The ghost looked a little sheepish—or at least as sheepish as a floating, glowing blob could look. “I’m new at this,” it said quietly. “Clearly,” Archimedes said, rolling his eyes. “But I’ll give you points for effort. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pumpkin patch to oversee and a hat to fix.” As Archimedes flew off, leaving the animals to gawk at the tiny ghost (who was now trying out a slightly better "boo"), he couldn't help but feel a bit of pride. After all, he had solved the mystery of the glowing pumpkins—kind of. Sure, the pumpkins were haunted, and maybe a ghost had accidentally exploded out of one, but who was keeping track? The important thing was that the harvest festival had been a hooting success, and once again, Archimedes had been at the center of it all—whether anyone appreciated it or not. The Real Magic of the Season As he perched himself back on a tree branch, watching the animals below chatter and laugh about the night's strange events, Archimedes allowed himself a small, satisfied smile. Autumn really was the best time of year. The air was crisp, the leaves were crunchy, and there was always a bit of magic—whether it came from glowing pumpkins, tiny ghosts, or, in his case, a particularly dapper hat. “Next year,” Archimedes murmured to himself, “I’m getting a better hat. Maybe something with sequins.” And with that, the snarky owl settled in for the night, ready to dream about pumpkin pie, Halloween pranks, and possibly running for mayor of the pumpkin patch next year. After all, someone had to keep things interesting.    Take a Piece of the Harvest Magic Home If you’re as enchanted by Archimedes and his autumn adventures as we are, why not bring a bit of that whimsical magic into your own space? Cozy up to the fall vibes and show off your love for the snarkiest owl in the pumpkin patch with these special products: The Harvest Hoot Throw Pillow – Add a touch of autumn charm to your living room or bedroom with this adorable throw pillow, featuring Archimedes in all his hat-wearing glory! The Harvest Hoot Fleece Blanket – Wrap yourself up in this cozy fleece blanket and enjoy some fall comfort, perfect for chilly nights or snuggling up with your favorite autumn reads. The Harvest Hoot Tapestry – Transform your space with this vibrant tapestry, featuring our wise owl hero surrounded by pumpkins and fall foliage. It’s the perfect seasonal decor for your home or office. The Harvest Hoot Tote Bag – Take a bit of fall magic with you wherever you go! This charming tote bag is perfect for carrying your autumn essentials (or maybe a pumpkin or two). Each product brings the whimsy of the harvest season and the charm of Archimedes right into your everyday life. Whether you’re decorating for fall or just looking to add a little snarky owl flair to your space, these items are the perfect choice! Explore more seasonal magic at Unfocussed Shop, where autumn adventure meets cozy home decor.