adult New Year humor

by Bill Tiepelman

Baby Dragon’s Dazzling New Year Bash

Baby Dragon’s Wild New Year Bash It started as a classy affair. The table was set with fine champagne, golden candles flickering gently, and an obnoxious amount of glitter covering every surface. Guests in tuxedos and shimmering dresses mingled under strings of fairy lights, chatting politely, toasting the year ahead. But then, waddling in from God-knows-where, came the baby dragon. Small but radiant, its scales shimmered in every imaginable color, as though it had rolled around in a pile of crushed disco balls. It stumbled up to the table, knocked over a champagne flute with its tail, and squawked loudly enough to silence the room. The little beast then made eye contact with the host, picked up a sparkler, and chirped as if to say, “This is my party now.” The dragon wasn’t exactly invited, but no one was brave enough to kick it out. Instead, they watched in stunned amusement as it commandeered the nearest champagne bottle, popped the cork with its tiny claws, and guzzled it like a frat boy at happy hour. Bubbles streamed down its chin as it belched a small puff of smoke, promptly singeing a nearby garland. “Who gave it booze?” someone hissed, but it was too late. The dragon had spotted the cheese plate. With alarming speed for such a small creature, it clambered onto the table, knocking over candles and scattering glitter into the air. It sniffed the brie, poked the gouda, and then chomped directly into the host’s expensive wheel of imported camembert. The room collectively gasped, but the dragon didn’t care—it had cheese, and it was going to town. By now, the baby dragon was a full-blown spectacle. It stood on the table, holding a sparkler in one claw and an uneaten cracker in the other, as if it were some kind of drunken medieval mascot. Someone turned up the music, and the dragon started swaying its hips, tail smacking indiscriminately into decorations, chairs, and one poor soul’s champagne tower. “This thing is a menace!” the host cried, attempting to shoo the dragon off the table with a serving tray. The dragon, feeling challenged, let out a tiny roar—more of a squeak, really—but it was enough to make the host rethink their life choices and sit quietly in a corner with a fresh drink. As midnight approached, the baby dragon was unstoppable. Its claws were sticky with champagne and mystery dip, and its wings were dusted with crushed party crackers. It had somehow acquired a party hat, perched lopsided on its head, and was holding court in the middle of the dance floor. Guests had given up on dignity and joined the little beast in what could only be described as a drunken conga line. Glitter rained from the ceiling as the countdown began. “TEN! NINE! EIGHT!” the crowd roared. The dragon, perched on someone’s shoulders, flapped its tiny wings in excitement, nearly toppling them over. “SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!” It tossed the sparkler into the air, where it landed in a punch bowl, fizzing out dramatically. “FOUR! THREE! TWO!” The dragon let out a triumphant screech, blowing a small puff of fire that set an unattended napkin aflame. No one cared. “ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The room erupted into cheers, hugs, and a cacophony of drunken celebration. The baby dragon, now thoroughly trashed, curled up in a pile of confetti and empty champagne bottles, snoring softly. Its party hat had slipped down over one eye, and its tiny claws clutched an uneaten piece of brie as if it were the most precious treasure in the world. As the night wound down and guests stumbled home, the host surveyed the wreckage of their once-pristine party. “Who the hell brought the dragon?” they muttered, picking up a singed party favor. The dragon snorted in its sleep, letting out one last puff of smoke. No one answered. After all, it didn’t matter. That little glittering monster had thrown the best damn party anyone could remember.     Explore More: Tiny Scales & Tails Collection If you loved the whimsical chaos of our New Year's baby dragon, don't miss your chance to bring this magical moment into your space! This enchanting image is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Adorn your walls, spark conversations, or gift it to a fellow fantasy lover—this piece is perfect for celebrating magic and mischief in every season.

by Bill Tiepelman

Guardian of Changing Times

The Dragonfly’s New Year’s Resolution It was December 31st, and deep within the forest, where the trees whispered secrets and the rivers chuckled like gossipy grandmothers, a dragonfly sat pondering its year. This wasn’t just any dragonfly. Oh no, this was **Donovan**, a dragonfly with iridescent wings that shimmered with the hues of all four seasons. Donovan was the kind of dragonfly who’d seen it all: frosty mornings, rainy afternoons, sultry summer nights, and far too many pumpkin spice latte cups discarded by hikers. “Another year gone,” Donovan sighed, sipping nectar from a tiny mug. (It wasn’t actually a mug—it was a dew-covered acorn cap, but a dragonfly’s imagination is a powerful thing.) “What have I accomplished? Did I grow as a dragonfly? Did I live my truth? Did I eat too many mosquitoes? Probably. But regrets are unbecoming of my species.” Despite his musings, Donovan was feeling the same weight many adults do as the calendar threatened to flip: the crushing existential dread of **New Year’s resolutions.** The Resolution Brainstorm “Okay, Donovan,” he muttered to himself, “Let’s get serious. If humans can convince themselves they’ll ‘go to the gym’ or ‘stop binge-watching shows they’ve already seen,’ then I can set my own goals.” He grabbed a leaf, dipped a twig into some mud, and began to write. Fly more. “I spent way too much time resting on branches this year. I’ll zig-zag more dramatically in 2024!” Cut back on snacking. “Fewer mosquitoes, more… uh… smaller mosquitoes?” Learn a new skill. “Like hovering upside down? Or synchronized flying? The other dragonflies would LOVE that!” Find love. Donovan paused, blushing slightly. “Okay, maybe I’ll just try not to get ghosted by another mayfly.” As the list grew, Donovan began to feel something unfamiliar: hope. Sure, his resolutions sounded silly, but wasn’t that the point? Life didn’t have to be a grand spectacle—it just had to be his own little adventure. The New Year’s Eve Celebration That evening, the forest buzzed with excitement. Animals of all shapes and sizes had gathered by the glimmering pond for the annual **New Year’s Bash.** A family of raccoons hosted, naturally, because raccoons know how to throw a party. Fireflies provided lighting, owls DJ’d with their soothing hoots, and the frogs? Oh, the frogs croaked in harmony like a drunken karaoke choir. Donovan showed up wearing his finest sheen of dew, his wings catching the glow of the fireflies. “New Year, new me,” he whispered as he tried to mingle. He chatted with a squirrel who couldn’t stop nervously nibbling on an acorn, complimented a ladybug on her perfectly symmetrical spots, and even exchanged awkward pleasantries with an intimidatingly large beetle who claimed to “invest in aphid futures.” When midnight approached, the entire forest gathered near the pond. A wise old turtle climbed onto a mossy rock, clearing his throat to deliver the annual countdown speech. Reflections and Revelations “Another year comes to a close,” the turtle began, his voice slow and steady. “We’ve survived storms, droughts, and… whatever that weird human camping trip was. But look around you now. We are here. Together. And that, my friends, is enough.” The crowd erupted in cheers, croaks, and chitters. Donovan felt a surge of warmth—not just from the fireflies, but from within. Sure, he’d made a list of resolutions, but maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need to achieve every single one. Maybe the act of hoping, of dreaming, was enough to flutter into the New Year with purpose. As the countdown began—“10! 9! 8!”—Donovan turned his face to the stars. He thought of all the zigs and zags he’d taken this past year, the near-misses and the perfect landings. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was his. “3! 2! 1!” “Happy New Year!” the forest roared as fireflies lit up the night sky in spectacular patterns. Donovan felt a small tear roll down his compound eye. “Here’s to flying higher, laughing harder, and maybe eating one less mosquito… but just one.” And with that, the dragonfly launched himself into the air, his iridescent wings glowing brighter than ever. The New Year stretched ahead of him, vast and uncharted. And Donovan, the dragonfly with four seasons on his wings, was ready to face it all. The Moral of the Story So here’s to us, the Donovans of the world. Life doesn’t have to be flawless or meticulously planned. It just needs us to keep flying, dreaming, and showing up—sparkling wings and all. Cheers to a funny, hopeful, and joyfully imperfect New Year!     A Dragonfly's New Year Wish Oh, the dragonfly perched with its colorful flair, Wings of four seasons, a wardrobe so rare. "Another year passes, oh my, what a ride, But here’s to new chapters with laughter as our guide!" Winter was frigid; we froze in our tracks, Spring teased us with allergies and aching backs. Summer? Too hot—sweaty pits were a curse, And fall brought pumpkin spice (and receipts in our purse). Yet onward we go, with a toast in our hand, To a New Year ahead—unmapped, unplanned. Let’s shed off the old like a molt in the sun, And embrace every challenge, each new laugh and pun. Remember last January? The gym was our vow, Until February hit—"Eh, maybe not now." But this year is different, we swear we’ll succeed, (Though snacks during Netflix? A non-negotiable need.) The dragonfly whispers, "Just go with the flow, Let life’s breezes guide you, don’t row against snow. Your wings may get battered, your path not a line, But with humor and hope, you’ll do just fine." So here’s to mistakes, and to growth when we learn, To taking small steps, to the pages we’ll turn. The New Year awaits us, like spring's early bloom, Let’s laugh in the chaos and sweep out the gloom. Raise your glass high, let’s toast in good cheer: "To a funny, hopeful, messy New Year!" Bring the Magic of the Dragonfly Home Celebrate the beauty and hope of the seasons with products inspired by "Guardian of Changing Times." Tapestry – Perfect for adding a touch of seasonal magic to your space. Canvas Print – A stunning centerpiece for your wall art collection. Puzzle – Enjoy piecing together this intricate artwork during cozy nights in. Fleece Blanket – Wrap yourself in the warmth of this enchanting design. Click on any of the links above to explore these unique products and make the spirit of the dragonfly a part of your world!