Americana fantasy

by Bill Tiepelman

Gnome in Chrome at Twilight

Meet Grimble “Greasefinger” McThorn—a gnome with a taste for chrome, a heart for mischief, and an unbreakable loyalty to the open road. Grimble wasn’t your typical lawn gnome, no sir. While others spent their days smiling politely at passing squirrels, Grimble had a bigger agenda: causing mayhem across the highways and deserts of Gnomeland. With his black helmet, leather vest, and trademark smirk, he was ready to take on the world—or at least prank it to pieces. The Legend of The Twilight Ride The story begins one fateful evening when Grimble heard tales of an enchanted bar known as "The Toad's Last Sip." This was no ordinary watering hole; it was a place where gnomes went for drinks so strong they’d leave you thinking you could ride a unicorn bareback through a thunderstorm. But more importantly, it was rumored that on this particular night, the bar was hosting the “Twilight Rider’s Challenge,” a legendary bike rally where pranks weren’t just welcomed—they were expected. Grimble’s eyes sparkled under his helmet. “A place where chaos is encouraged? Well, don’t mind if I do!” he chuckled, revving up his chopper, Rusty Thunder, a bike with more chrome than good sense and a growl loud enough to make a cactus shiver. Prank Stop #1: The Cactus Cafe About halfway to the Toad's Last Sip, Grimble came across a small roadside café called the Cactus Cafe. A group of gnomes were sipping espresso and nibbling on tiny biscotti, looking way too calm for Grimble’s liking. He smirked and pulled over, deciding it was high time to “liven” things up. Grimble sauntered in, eyes gleaming with mischief, and ordered a cup of coffee. As the barista turned his back, Grimble casually reached into his vest pocket, pulled out a handful of jumping beans, and dumped them into the sugar jar. Within seconds, pandemonium erupted. Sugar containers hopped off tables, biscotti bounced out of hands, and bewildered gnomes tried (and failed) to catch their rogue coffee additions. Grimble took a slow, satisfied sip of his coffee, watching the chaos unfold with a grin. “Sweetener's got a real kick, huh?” he remarked to a flustered barista before casually strolling out, leaving the café in a state of hopping madness. Prank Stop #2: The Law Gets a Surprise Back on the road, Grimble spotted a familiar figure in his rearview mirror: Officer Bigfoot, the grumpiest gnome cop on the Gnomeland highway. Officer Bigfoot had been trying to catch Grimble in the act for years but had yet to succeed. And today, Grimble was feeling especially cheeky. With a smirk, Grimble reached into his bag and pulled out a small vial labeled "Mystic Smokescreen." He slowed down just enough for Officer Bigfoot to catch up, then cracked open the vial and tossed it behind him. Instantly, a cloud of sparkling purple smoke erupted from his bike, enveloping the road and obscuring everything in a dazzling haze. Officer Bigfoot, blinded by the swirling sparkles, veered off the road, right into a patch of prickly cacti. Grimble chuckled as he heard a faint shout of "MCTHORN!" from somewhere in the purple cloud. He sped up, whistling a merry tune. Another prank, another triumph. The Toad’s Last Sip: Where Pranks Are Made Legend Finally, Grimble arrived at The Toad’s Last Sip, where gnomes from all over had gathered to take part in the Twilight Rider’s Challenge. The bar was a raucous scene, filled with laughter, music, and the smell of questionable mushroom stew. Grimble strode in with a swagger, ready to make his mark. The first prank of the night? A little surprise for the bartenders. Grimble slipped behind the counter and switched out the normal bar snacks for his special “Flame Popcorn,” seasoned with gnome chili powder. Within minutes, unsuspecting patrons were dashing to the bar for water, faces red and eyes wide with shock. “What’s the matter?” Grimble asked with a grin. “Too hot to handle?” He tipped his helmet at the bartender, who was laughing too hard to care. One Last Ride As midnight approached, Grimble decided it was time for his grand finale. He’d heard whispers about the “Ancient Troll’s Tankard”—a massive stein that was said to bestow legendary strength on any gnome who dared to drink from it. Naturally, Grimble saw it as an opportunity to have a little fun. With a wink to the crowd, he climbed atop the bar, raised the tankard high, and poured the entire thing over himself, letting the mystical brew drench his helmet and jacket. For a moment, the crowd was silent, watching in awe. Then, with a bellow, Grimble flexed his tiny arms and roared, “I AM THE MIGHTIEST GNOME ALIVE!” The crowd erupted in laughter and applause as he flexed his “muscles” and struck ridiculous poses. Just as he was about to take his bow, he heard a familiar shout from the doorway. “GRIMBLE MCTHORN!” It was Officer Bigfoot, covered in cactus needles and looking madder than a troll with a stubbed toe. Grimble grinned, tossed the tankard to the bartender, and yelled, “Sorry, Officer! Looks like the road’s calling!” He hopped onto Rusty Thunder, revved the engine, and tore out of the bar, leaving a trail of laughter, cheers, and one very furious cop in his wake. The Legend Lives On As Grimble sped off into the sunrise, the patrons of The Toad’s Last Sip raised their glasses in a toast to the most mischievous gnome on the road. And thus, the legend of Grimble “Greasefinger” McThorn grew—a tale of pranks, rebellion, and a gnome’s unquenchable thirst for chaos. The End (Or perhaps, just the beginning of another ride)    Bring Grimble’s Mischievous Spirit Home If you love Grimble “Greasefinger” McThorn’s wild, prank-filled journey, bring a piece of his rebellious spirit to your space! The artwork "Gnome in Chrome at Twilight" by Bill and Linda Tiepelman is available in various formats that perfectly capture the humor and adventure of this gnome on the open road. Check out these exclusive options: Tapestry - Transform any wall into a backdrop of adventure with this vivid tapestry, perfect for bringing Grimble’s spirit into your home. Metal Print - Add a modern touch to your decor with this high-quality metal print, showcasing the gleaming chrome details of Grimble’s bike. Puzzle - Relive Grimble’s escapades piece by piece with this fun and challenging puzzle, perfect for fans of whimsy and adventure. Wood Print - Embrace a rustic look with this wood print, bringing warmth and character to your walls with Grimble’s unforgettable twilight ride. Let Grimble remind you every day that life is best lived with a little mischief and a whole lot of adventure!

by Bill Tiepelman

Gnome on a Chrome Crusade

In a world too small for his ambitions and too mundane for his taste, a gnome named Rufus "Rusty" Ironbeard decided to hit the open road. No longer content with the daily grind of garden duties and pond-watching, he strapped on his black helmet, threw on a worn leather vest over his plaid shirt, and revved up his custom chopper—an impressive chrome-adorned machine that sparkled in the sunset. Rusty was no ordinary garden gnome. No ceramic smile or fishing pole for this guy. He was a rebel, a wanderer, and, quite frankly, a bit of a troublemaker. Known in the gnome community as "that guy with the attitude," Rusty had a history of defying the norms. And now, with a sunset ablaze on the horizon, he was about to embark on his biggest escapade yet—a wild ride to the mythical bar known as "The Gnome's Last Call," said to serve brews potent enough to knock a dwarf off his stool. The Open Road (Or as Gnomes Call It, the "Tiny Highway") As Rusty sped down the highway, the desert stretching out on either side of him, he felt a thrill he'd never experienced before. With each mile, he grew bolder, flipping off cacti and honking his tiny horn at bewildered lizards sunbathing on the asphalt. A gang of fellow gnomes on bikes joined him along the way, their miniature motors roaring and their beards flying in the wind. “Alright, boys!” Rusty shouted over the sound of their engines, “Tonight, we drink like trolls and sing louder than banshees!” The other gnomes raised their fists, cheering in unison, their voices like a pint-sized thunder. A Slight Detour: The Law Gets Involved Of course, no good gnome adventure is complete without a little run-in with the law. As Rusty and his crew tore through the desert, they failed to notice the flicker of red and blue lights flashing in the distance. Soon, the shrill sound of a police siren filled the air. A human cop on a ridiculously oversized motorcycle pulled up beside Rusty, his face a mix of confusion and annoyance as he squinted down at the posse of tiny bikers zooming along the road. “You little…gnomes?!” the cop stammered, not quite believing his eyes. Rusty, never one to miss an opportunity for mischief, grinned up at the officer and gave him a thumbs-up. “Aye, Officer Big Pants, just a couple of gnomes out for a scenic ride. What’s the problem?” Rusty asked, as innocently as a leather-clad gnome could manage. The cop sighed, rubbing his temples. “I don’t even know where to start. But you’re going 20 in a 65. That’s not exactly…efficient.” Rusty cackled. “Efficiency is overrated, mate. It’s about the journey, not the speed!” With that, he revved his engine, spit out a wad of sunflower seed shells at the cop’s feet, and sped off, leaving the officer bewildered and probably wondering if he’d had too much coffee that day. The Gnome’s Last Call Eventually, after countless dusty miles and one particularly impressive detour involving a questionable roadside burrito stand, Rusty and his crew arrived at The Gnome’s Last Call. The bar was everything they’d dreamed it would be—a cozy, dimly lit hole in the wall, tucked into the shadow of a massive boulder and illuminated by the glow of neon mushrooms outside. Rusty kicked open the door (well, he tried—it was a heavy door for a gnome, and after a few tries, he managed to nudge it open enough to slip inside). The smell of ale, herbs, and grilled mushrooms filled the air, and the place was packed with rowdy gnomes, dwarves, and the occasional goblin. They strolled up to the bar, where a grizzled gnome bartender with a scar across one eye greeted them. “What’ll it be, boys?” he growled. Rusty grinned. “The strongest brew you’ve got. We’re here to drink ‘til we can’t tell an elf from a cactus!” The bartender chuckled, reaching below the bar and pulling out a dusty bottle labeled “Granny’s Doom Brew.” Rusty eyed the bottle suspiciously. “What’s in that?” “You don’t wanna know, kid. Let’s just say it’s got a kick,” the bartender replied, pouring the thick, bubbling liquid into shot glasses no bigger than thimbles. With a smirk, Rusty raised his glass. “To gnomes on the road! May our beards stay wild and our bikes stay shiny!” The gnomes clinked their tiny glasses together and downed the brew. Instantly, Rusty’s eyes went wide, and his vision blurred as the potent drink worked its magic. “That’s… that’s some strong stuff,” he gasped, holding onto the bar for support as the room started to spin. One Last Ride When the sun rose the next morning, Rusty and his gang stumbled out of The Gnome’s Last Call, clutching their aching heads but laughing at the wild night they’d survived. Stories were shared, exaggerated, and completely fabricated as they prepared for the ride home. “Reckon I might retire after this one,” Rusty joked, slapping one of his friends on the back. “Find myself a nice garden to settle down in. Maybe plant a few daisies, flirt with a mushroom or two.” But as they rode off into the sunrise, he knew that was a lie. The call of the open road was too strong, the thrill of the unknown too intoxicating. Rusty was a gnome on a chrome crusade, and nothing—not cops, cactus stings, or even Granny’s Doom Brew—was going to change that. The End (or, as Rusty would say, “Just another stop on the ride”).     Join the Chrome Crusade – Limited Edition Prints Available If Rusty Ironbeard's daring road adventure speaks to your rebellious spirit, you can bring a piece of his journey home! This image, "Gnome on a Chrome Crusade", is available in our archive as a limited edition print, perfect for adding a touch of humor and adventure to your space. Discover it along with other unique pieces in our Image Archive. From prints to high-quality downloads, let Rusty remind you that life’s greatest adventures start on the open road—whether you're a gnome or not!