by Bill Tiepelman
Azure Eyes of the Celestial Dragon
In a galaxy not too far away, on a planet called Luminarisβa place that looked like an interstellar disco ball on acidβthere hatched a peculiar baby dragon. His name? Glitterwing the Fourth. Not because there were three dragons before him (there werenβt), but because his mother, Queen Frostmaw the Shimmering, had a flair for drama and thought numbers made things sound royal. Glitterwing, however, had other opinions. He liked his nickname better: Steve. Steve's Grand Entrance Steveβs birth wasnβt exactly a serene, mystical moment. He cracked out of his egg with all the grace of a squirrel on caffeine, flailing his tiny limbs, his metallic scales catching the light like a disco ball having an existential crisis. His first words werenβt poetic, either. They were something along the lines of, βUgh, this light is awful, and what is that smell?!β From the moment he hatched, Steve had one glaringly unique feature: his impossibly large, strikingly blue eyes. While most dragon hatchlings looked like a mix between a kitten and a medieval weapon, Steve looked like a giant plush toy with an attitude problem. He immediately became the center of attention in the dragon kingdom, which, as you can imagine, annoyed him to no end. βCan we all stop gawking like Iβm the last pastry at the buffet? Iβm just a dragon, not a fireworks display.β Destined for Greatness? Nah, Just Hungry. The elders of the dragon council, a group of ancient reptiles who spent most of their time arguing about whose hoard was shinier, declared that Steve was destined for greatness. βHis scales glitter like the stars, and his eyes pierce the soul!β they proclaimed. Steve, however, had other plans. βCool story, Grandpa, but does greatness come with snacks? Because Iβm starving.β Steve quickly developed a reputation for his biting wit and his insatiable appetite. While most dragons his age were practicing fire breathing, Steve was perfecting the art of sarcastic commentary. βOh, look, another fire-breathing competition. How original. Why donβt we try something new, like, I donβt know, competitive napping?β The Misadventures Begin Steveβs snarky attitude didnβt exactly make him popular with his peers. One particularly jealous dragonling, Blaze, challenged him to a duel. βPrepare to meet your doom, Glitterwing!β Blaze roared. Steve didnβt even flinch. βOkay, but can we schedule this after lunch? I have priorities.β When the duel finally happened, Steve wonβnot with strength, but by making Blaze laugh so hard he fell over and rolled into a pile of mud. βSee? Humor is the real weapon,β Steve said, polishing his claws nonchalantly. Despite his reluctance, Steveβs fame grew. Adventurers from distant lands came to see the "Celestial Dragon" with the sapphire eyes. Steve found this both flattering and exhausting. βGreat, another group of humans pointing sticks at me and calling them βweapons.β Can someone at least bring me a sandwich this time?β The Day Steve Saved the Kingdom (Accidentally) Steveβs most famous misadventure occurred when a rival kingdom sent a group of knights to steal the dragons' treasures. While the other dragons were busy preparing for battle, Steve was busy eating his weight in moonberries. The knights stormed into the dragon cave, only to find Steve lounging on a pile of gold. βOh, look, more tin cans. What do you guys want? Directions to the nearest McDragonβs?β The knights, thinking Steveβs enormous eyes and shimmering scales were some sort of godly warning, panicked. One knight screamed, βItβs the divine dragon of doom!β and fled. The others followed, tripping over each other in their haste. Steve blinked, confused. βWait, that worked? Huh. Maybe I am destined for greatness. Or maybe they just didnβt want to deal with a dragon who looks like he hasnβt slept in weeks.β The Legend Lives On These days, Steve spends his time napping on his hoard (which mostly consists of shiny rocks and discarded armor) and coming up with increasingly sarcastic remarks for nosy adventurers. Heβs still the talk of the kingdom, much to his annoyance. βIβm not a hero,β he insists. βIβm just a dragon who happens to look fabulous.β But deep down, Steve enjoys the attentionβjust a little. After all, who wouldnβt want to be a glittering icon with piercing azure eyes and a knack for making knights wet their pants? Β Β Bring Steve Home: Celestial Dragon-Inspired Products Can't get enough of Steve's snarky charm and shimmering brilliance? Now, you can bring a piece of his celestial magic into your own home with these exclusive products: Dragon Tapestry: Adorn your walls with Steveβs radiant glory, perfect for transforming any room into a mystical lair. Canvas Print: A high-quality art piece showcasing Steveβs celestial aura, ideal for dragon lovers and fantasy enthusiasts. Throw Pillow: Cozy up with Steveβs enchanting presence, a whimsical addition to your living space. Dragon Puzzle: Piece together Steveβs mesmerizing features with this fun and challenging puzzle, perfect for quiet evenings or dragon-loving gatherings. Embrace the magic of the celestial dragon and let Steveβs legacy light up your lifeβone sparkling scale at a time.