glowing mushrooms

by Bill Tiepelman

The Gnome and the Snail Express

The Enchanted Forest wasn’t known for its speed. Most of its residents were content to amble along mossy trails, admire glowing mushrooms, and take the occasional nap in a patch of sunlight. But none were slower—or more determined—than Gnorman the Gnome’s latest companion: an enormous snail named Whiskers. “This is it, Whiskers,” Gnorman said, adjusting his bright red hat as he perched on the snail’s glistening shell. “Our chance to make history! We’re going to win the Great Forest Derby and prove that slow and steady doesn’t just win races—it humiliates smug rabbits along the way!” Whiskers made no response, as he was preoccupied with nibbling on a particularly juicy patch of moss. Gnorman took this as a sign of agreement. “That’s the spirit!” he said, giving the snail’s shell a confident pat. “Now, let’s talk strategy.” The Great Forest Derby The Derby was an annual event, notorious for attracting all kinds of eccentric competitors. There were the squirrels, who cheated by launching themselves from tree to tree. There was a team of field mice with a cart pulled by a very confused hedgehog. And, of course, there was Gnorman’s arch-nemesis, Thistle the Hare, whose cocky grin and perfect teeth made Gnorman’s beard bristle with irritation. “What’s that, Gnorman?” Thistle called as he hopped over. “Trading in your boots for a snail? I’d tell you to try and keep up, but… well, we both know that’s not happening.” “Laugh it up, carrot-breath,” Gnorman snapped. “This snail is a precision-engineered racing machine. We’re going to wipe the mossy floor with you!” Thistle snorted. “I’ll save you a spot at the finish line—about three hours after I get there.” With that, the hare bounded away, leaving Gnorman seething. “Don’t listen to him, Whiskers,” he muttered. “We’ve got this in the bag. Probably.” The Race Begins The starting line was a chaotic mess of creatures, all jostling for position. Gnorman tightened his grip on the reins he’d fashioned out of vine and gave Whiskers an encouraging nod. “All right, buddy. Nice and steady. Let’s show these amateurs how it’s done.” The whistle blew, and the racers exploded into motion—or, in Whiskers’ case, a leisurely slide forward. Squirrels darted ahead. Mice squeaked commands to their hedgehog. Thistle the Hare was already a blur in the distance. Gnorman, however, remained calm. “Patience, Whiskers,” he said. “Let them tire themselves out. We’ll make our move when it counts.” By the time they reached the first checkpoint, Whiskers had managed to overtake a tortoise (who had paused for a snack) and a beetle (whose enthusiasm had been derailed by an ill-timed nap). Gnorman was feeling smug—until he noticed a familiar figure lounging on a rock up ahead. “What took you so long?” Thistle called, tossing a carrot in the air and catching it in his mouth. “Did you stop for sightseeing? Oh wait—you’re riding a snail. That’s sightseeing.” “Keep laughing, fuzzball,” Gnorman muttered under his breath. “You won’t be so smug when Whiskers and I pull off the upset of the century.” The Prank At the halfway point, Gnorman decided it was time for a little mischief. Reaching into his satchel, he pulled out a pouch of pixie dust he’d “borrowed” from a friendly sprite. “This ought to spice things up,” he said, sprinkling the glittering powder along Whiskers’ trail. Moments later, chaos erupted. The hedgehog pulling the mice’s cart sneezed violently, sending the cart careening off the trail. A flock of sparrows, mesmerized by the sparkling dust, began dive-bombing Thistle, who flailed wildly in an attempt to fend them off. “What the—?!” Thistle shouted as a particularly bold sparrow made off with his carrot. “Who’s responsible for this madness?!” Gnorman tried to look innocent, though his uncontrollable giggling didn’t help. “Just a bit of friendly competition!” he called out, clutching Whiskers’ reins as the snail glided serenely past the chaos. “You’re welcome!” The Final Stretch By the time they reached the final leg of the race, Thistle had recovered and was closing in fast. Gnorman could see the finish line up ahead, but Whiskers was beginning to slow down. “Come on, buddy,” he urged. “Just a little farther! Think of the glory! Think of the… uh… extra moss I’ll bring you if we win!” Whiskers perked up at the mention of moss and surged forward with surprising speed. Gnorman whooped as they crossed the finish line just ahead of Thistle, who skidded to a halt in disbelief. “What?! No!” the hare yelled. “That’s impossible! You cheated!” “Cheating?” Gnorman said, feigning outrage. “That’s a serious accusation, Thistle. I’ll have you know this victory was entirely due to Whiskers’ superior athleticism and my expert coaching.” The crowd erupted in applause and laughter as Gnorman accepted his prize: a golden acorn trophy and a year’s worth of bragging rights. “Slow and steady wins the race,” he said with a wink, holding the trophy aloft. “And never underestimate a gnome with a good sense of humor—and a big bag of pixie dust.” Whiskers, now happily munching on a fresh patch of moss, seemed entirely uninterested in the glory. But Gnorman didn’t mind. He had a trophy, a story for the ages, and the satisfaction of wiping the smug grin off Thistle’s face. Life in the Enchanted Forest didn’t get much better than that.     Bring the Whimsy Home Love Gnorman and Whiskers’ hilarious journey? Bring their delightful adventure into your home with these magical products, inspired by the whimsical world of the Enchanted Forest: Tapestries: Add a touch of fantasy to your walls with this vibrant and enchanting design. Canvas Prints: Perfect for bringing Gnorman and Whiskers’ adventure to life in your favorite space. Puzzles: Piece together the fun with a playful and charming puzzle featuring this whimsical duo. Tote Bags: Take the magic on the go with a stylish tote bag perfect for daily adventures. Start your collection today and let Gnorman and Whiskers bring a bit of mischief and magic to your life!

by Bill Tiepelman

Frog Rodeo: Gnome Style

In the heart of the Enchanted Forest, where mushrooms glowed like tiny disco balls and the rivers gurgled with laughter, a gnome named Blimble Puddleflap was preparing for his greatest—and most ridiculous—feat yet: a frog rodeo. Blimble wasn’t known for his practicality or restraint. No, his reputation was built on an endless string of outrageous stunts and pranks that left the forest’s inhabitants either chuckling or plotting revenge. Today’s prank, however, was destined to become legendary. The Plan It all started in the Giggling Lily Tavern the night before, when Blimble overheard a particularly smug chipmunk boasting about his "record-setting" acorn collection. "I could ride a frog across the stream and still gather more acorns than you!" the chipmunk had declared. Blimble, fueled by three mushroom ales and an overabundance of confidence, had leapt onto the table and shouted, "Ride a frog? I’ll ride one so fast it’ll look like a green lightning bolt streaking through the forest!" By morning, the entire forest had heard about Blimble’s bold claim. To back out now would be social suicide. Fortunately, Blimble had a plan. Unfortunately, it was a terrible one. "All right, Ribsy," Blimble said, addressing the enormous, lime-green frog he’d “borrowed” from a lily pad in Tadpole Cove. Ribsy, whose idea of excitement involved sitting very still and occasionally catching a bug, was less than thrilled about the arrangement. “We’re going to make history!” Blimble continued, oblivious to Ribsy’s expression of froggy dread. “I’ll ride you like the wind, and you’ll become the fastest frog this forest has ever seen!” The Ride Begins The clearing by the stream was packed with forest creatures, all eager to witness Blimble’s latest shenanigan. Rabbits, squirrels, and even a few skeptical hedgehogs gathered at the water’s edge. The chipmunk from the tavern was front and center, munching on an acorn and smirking. "This should be good," he muttered. “Ladies and gentle-creatures!” Blimble announced, standing on Ribsy’s back like a pint-sized circus performer. “Prepare to witness the grandest, most daring frog rodeo in history!” Before anyone could respond, Ribsy let out a startled croak as Blimble tugged on the makeshift reins (woven from spider silk, because of course). The frog launched forward with a panicked leap, sending a spray of water across the cheering crowd. “Yeehaw!” Blimble hollered, throwing his arms in the air. “Look at us go, Ribsy! We’re unstoppable!” “Ribbit,” Ribsy croaked, which roughly translated to, “Please let this nightmare end.” The Chaos Unfolds As Ribsy bounded toward the stream, Blimble’s showmanship quickly devolved into chaos. A miscalculated leap sent them careening into a patch of glowing mushrooms, which exploded into a cloud of glittery spores. The crowd erupted in laughter as Blimble emerged from the sparkling haze, clinging to Ribsy’s back with one hand and waving a tiny cowboy hat with the other. “Still going strong!” Blimble shouted, though his grip was slipping and Ribsy looked ready to file a restraining order. Things took a turn for the worse when a dragonfly, apparently offended by the disturbance, decided to join the fray. It swooped down and began dive-bombing Blimble, who swatted at it wildly. “Back off, you oversized mosquito!” he yelled, inadvertently letting go of the reins. Now completely out of control, Ribsy veered toward the stream and leapt with all the grace of a cannonball. They landed in the water with a colossal splash, soaking the front row of spectators and dislodging a nearby family of ducks. Blimble resurfaced moments later, sputtering and still clinging to Ribsy, whose expression now read as “utter resignation.” The Aftermath By the time Ribsy paddled to the far side of the stream, the crowd was in stitches. Even the smug chipmunk was laughing so hard he dropped his acorn. Blimble, dripping wet and covered in glittery mushroom spores, climbed off Ribsy and took a dramatic bow. “Thank you, thank you!” he said, ignoring the fact that Ribsy was already hopping away as fast as his froggy legs could carry him. “And that, my friends, is how you ride a frog like a champion!” The chipmunk approached, still chuckling. “I’ll admit, Puddleflap, that was…impressive. Ridiculous, but impressive.” Blimble grinned. “Ridiculous is my middle name! Well, technically it’s ‘Ezekiel,’ but you get the idea.” The crowd dispersed, still laughing and chattering about the spectacle. Blimble, now alone by the stream, looked around for Ribsy, only to realize the frog had vanished. “Eh, can’t blame him,” Blimble said with a shrug. “I’d probably hop away too.” As he wrung out his hat and started the soggy walk back to his mushroom cottage, Blimble couldn’t help but smile. Sure, he was wet, exhausted, and slightly traumatized by the dragonfly, but he’d done it. He’d turned a ridiculous boast into an even more ridiculous reality—and had the glittery mushroom spores to prove it. “Next time,” he muttered to himself, “I’m riding a squirrel.”    Bring the Fun Home Love the hilarity of Blimble and Ribsy’s wild ride? Bring their whimsical adventure into your life with our exclusive collection of high-quality products featuring this unforgettable scene: Tapestries: Transform your space with the vibrant energy of this whimsical artwork. Wood Prints: Add a rustic touch to your decor while showcasing Blimble’s froggy antics. Puzzles: Relive the fun piece by piece with a challenging and delightful puzzle. Greeting Cards: Share a laugh with friends and family with these charming cards. Start your collection today and let Blimble and Ribsy bring a splash of humor and magic to your life!