by Bill Tiepelman
The Geometric Serpent
In a realm where geometry met magic, there existed a creature of unparalleled beauty and wit: a serpent named Kalidos, whose scales shimmered in intricate fractal patterns that shifted and glowed like the surface of a kaleidoscope. Kalidos was not your average serpent—he was the self-proclaimed "Guardian of Symmetry" and an occasional mischief-maker who thrived on riddles, pranks, and perplexing visitors to his domain. His lair, if it could be called that, was a labyrinth of glowing geometric shapes—impossible spirals, recursive triangles, and pulsating mandalas that defied the laws of physics. Travelers stumbled into Kalidos’s realm often, drawn by the legend of his jewel-like scales and the promise that he could solve any problem, no matter how complex. What the legends failed to mention, however, was his peculiar sense of humor. The Intruder One fateful evening, as the fractal forest hummed with its usual symphony of shifting patterns, Kalidos lounged lazily atop a glowing mandala, his tail coiled neatly in the center like an artist signing his work. He was just about to doze off when a voice pierced the stillness. “Uh… excuse me?” Kalidos uncoiled, raising his triangular head to peer at the newcomer—a man wearing a backpack and the unmistakable expression of someone deeply regretting their life choices. “You’re trespassing,” Kalidos said, his voice a velvety drawl. “But you’re in luck. Today’s a good day. I’m feeling generous and possibly bored.” The man blinked. “I’m, uh, looking for the legendary Geometric Serpent. They say you can grant wisdom and solve impossible problems.” Kalidos preened, his scales flickering in a self-satisfied glow. “You’ve found him. But wisdom isn’t free, my friend. It must be earned. Let’s start with something simple: Why does a circle never trust a triangle?” The man scratched his head. “Because… triangles are… pointy?” Kalidos burst out laughing, his laughter echoing through the labyrinth like a chorus of chimes. “Close enough! You’ll do. Now, what brings you here? A lost treasure? A broken heart? Or are you just terrible at reading maps?” The Bargain “I need your help,” the man said, ignoring the jab. “There’s a curse on my family. Every full moon, we turn into very awkward… ducks.” Kalidos blinked. “Ducks? That’s new. I usually get princes turning into frogs, or entire kingdoms frozen in time. Ducks is… creative.” “Can you lift the curse or not?” the man asked, growing impatient. Kalidos tilted his head, his eyes gleaming like twin galaxies. “Oh, I could lift it. But where’s the fun in that? Let’s make a game of it. If you can solve my labyrinth and reach the center, I’ll lift the curse. If you fail, you’ll have to leave behind your most prized possession.” The man hesitated. “That’s… vague. What counts as my most prized possession?” Kalidos grinned, revealing teeth that shimmered like opals. “That’s for me to decide. Now, off you go!” The Labyrinth of Laughter The labyrinth was a kaleidoscopic nightmare. Walls shifted and rotated, floors became ceilings, and every corner seemed to lead back to where the man had started. Adding to the chaos were Kalidos’s pranks—occasionally, a glowing fractal would explode into confetti, or a corridor would suddenly echo with the serpent’s disembodied voice delivering terrible puns. “Why don’t polygons ever get invited to parties?” Kalidos’s voice boomed. “Because they’re too edgy!” The man groaned but pressed on, navigating the shifting maze by trial and error. Just when he thought he was making progress, he tripped over what appeared to be… a floating Möbius strip? “Careful!” Kalidos called from somewhere above. “That’s a one-sided argument waiting to happen!” Hours passed, or perhaps days—time had no meaning in the labyrinth. At last, the man stumbled into the center, where Kalidos awaited, coiled atop a grand mandala that shimmered like a starry sky. The Resolution “Well, well,” Kalidos purred. “You actually made it. I’m impressed. Now, about that curse…” “You’ll lift it?” the man asked, breathless. “Of course,” Kalidos said, his voice dripping with faux sincerity. “But first, your most prized possession. Hand it over.” The man hesitated, then reached into his backpack and produced… a sandwich. A slightly squished peanut butter and jelly sandwich, to be precise. Kalidos stared. “This is your most prized possession?” The man shrugged. “I skipped breakfast.” For a moment, Kalidos looked as though he might protest. Then, with a dramatic sigh, he uncoiled and tapped the sandwich with his tail. “Fine. Curse lifted. Now go, before I change my mind.” The Aftermath As the man left the labyrinth, Kalidos watched him go, shaking his head in disbelief. “Humans,” he muttered, biting into the sandwich. “Always so dramatic.” And so, the Geometric Serpent returned to his mandala, ready to weave more pranks and puzzles into his ever-shifting domain. After all, what was the point of guarding symmetry if you couldn’t have a little fun along the way? Bring The Geometric Serpent Into Your Space Celebrate the whimsical charm and mesmerizing beauty of Kalidos, the Geometric Serpent, with these exclusive products. Whether you're looking to add an enchanting touch to your home or carry a piece of his magical world with you, there's something for everyone: Cross-Stitch Pattern – Bring Kalidos to life with this intricate and creative cross-stitch design, perfect for both beginners and seasoned stitchers. Poster – A vibrant and captivating print that adds a splash of magic and geometry to any wall. Tapestry – Elevate your space with this stunning fabric piece, showcasing the dazzling patterns of Kalidos’s world. Throw Pillow – Add a touch of comfort and enchantment with this beautifully designed pillow. Tote Bag – Carry a piece of Kalidos’s magic wherever you go with this stylish and functional accessory. Metal Print – A sleek and durable option that transforms Kalidos into a modern masterpiece for your home or office.
