by Bill Tiepelman
Pumpkin Grove Guardians: Gnomes Under the Harvest Moon
In a far corner of the enchanted forest, where the trees whispered secrets and the pumpkins grew a little too perfectly round, lived two gnomes. Their names were Hazel and Gourd, and while they were as mismatched as a Halloween costume found on discount, their love story had a certain quirky charm—much like them. Gourd, as his name suggested, was obsessed with pumpkins. Obsessed might even be an understatement. The gnome had an entire system for growing the roundest, orangest, most perfectly symmetrical pumpkins in the entire forest. His pumpkin patch was the talk of the woodland community, even drawing occasional admirers from passing fairies who couldn't resist snapping a photo (or painting, since fairies were old-school like that). Gourd loved his pumpkins almost as much as he loved Hazel. Hazel, on the other hand, was a bit more... unpredictable. If Gourd was a perfectly carved jack-o'-lantern, Hazel was the pumpkin that got dropped, bounced a few times, and then rolled off into the bushes. In the best way, of course. She was spontaneous, fun, and had a habit of creating the most bizarre Halloween concoctions. Pumpkin spice soup with a hint of ghost pepper? Sure. Candied bat wings? Why not? She even made gnome-sized witch hats out of leftover squash. For Hazel, life was too short not to embrace the chaos. The Great Pumpkin Proposal It was Halloween, naturally, the night when the enchanted forest came alive with glowing pumpkins, mischievous fairies, and a general sense that anything could happen. Gourd had spent weeks preparing his pumpkin patch for the occasion, perfecting each pumpkin with the dedication of a sculptor chiseling their masterpiece. Tonight wasn’t just any Halloween. Tonight, Gourd was going to propose to Hazel. Now, you might be thinking, “A pumpkin patch proposal? Isn’t that a little... basic?” And you’d be right. But Gourd was anything but basic when it came to his love of pumpkins. This proposal wasn’t going to be just some candle-lit dinner next to a jack-o'-lantern. Oh no. He had a plan. A grand one. Earlier that day, Gourd had spent hours carving the most impressive pumpkin in his patch. It was huge—so large, in fact, that Hazel had questioned whether or not it was legally a pumpkin anymore or some kind of squat orange monster. She didn't know that inside that pumpkin was the ring—nestled safely in a tiny compartment Gourd had carved himself. Tonight, as they strolled through the glowing patch, he was going to lead her to the special pumpkin and pop the question. But, as with all things involving Hazel, nothing ever went according to plan. A Spooky Twist “You know,” Hazel said with a playful grin as they walked hand-in-hand through the pumpkin patch that night, “you really should let some of these pumpkins have faces. They’re just sitting there, staring blankly into the night. It’s creepy.” Gourd chuckled. “These are serious pumpkins, Hazel. You can’t go carving faces on everything, you know.” “Oh, can’t I?” Hazel challenged, her eyes twinkling with mischief. That’s when Gourd knew he was in trouble. Before he could protest, Hazel darted ahead, plucking a small, harmless-looking pumpkin off the ground. She pulled a tiny carving knife from her belt—Hazel always carried around random tools for reasons Gourd could never quite understand—and began etching a face into the pumpkin’s surface. “Hazel, wait! That’s—” Gourd began, but it was too late. As soon as Hazel finished carving the pumpkin, its eyes began to glow a deep, eerie orange. The pumpkin trembled in her hands before letting out a long, raspy cackle. “Oh no,” Gourd muttered, rubbing his temples. “That was one of the cursed pumpkins, wasn’t it?” “Cursed?” Hazel asked, her face lighting up with excitement. “You didn’t tell me there were cursed pumpkins! This is amazing!” Before Gourd could explain, the cursed pumpkin hopped out of Hazel’s hands and began bouncing across the patch, cackling like a tiny maniac. It careened through rows of pumpkins, knocking them over like bowling pins as it went. “Stop that thing!” Gourd yelled, but it was too late. The cursed pumpkin slammed right into the giant, proposal-sized pumpkin. With a dramatic puff of smoke, the enormous pumpkin split in two, revealing the tiny carved compartment and, much to Gourd’s horror, the ring, now sitting in the middle of the chaos like the world’s most obvious clue. The Surprise Proposal Hazel gasped, her eyes going wide as she caught sight of the ring. “Is that—wait, are you—?” Gourd, seeing that the plan was well and truly ruined, sighed heavily and dropped to one knee in the pumpkin carnage. “Hazel,” he began, sounding more defeated than romantic, “will you marry me?” There was a long pause. Hazel blinked. Then, slowly, a grin spread across her face. “Of course I will!” she squealed, throwing her arms around Gourd and knocking him backward into the pumpkin guts. For a moment, they lay there, tangled in vines and seeds, laughing at the absurdity of it all. The cursed pumpkin, seemingly pleased with itself, hopped away into the night, still cackling. Happily Ever After—Pumpkin Style Later that evening, as they sat together under the twinkling lights of the forest, Hazel admired the ring on her finger. “You know,” she said, smirking, “I think the cursed pumpkin really added something to the whole proposal. Gave it a little... spice.” Gourd, still picking pumpkin seeds out of his beard, rolled his eyes. “I swear, only you would find the silver lining in a cursed pumpkin ruining my big moment.” “Oh, come on,” Hazel teased, nudging him playfully. “It was perfect, and you know it. After all, who else can say they were proposed to by a gnome who grows the best pumpkins in the entire forest?” Gourd chuckled, pulling her close. “I suppose you’re right. But next time, let’s try to keep the cursed pumpkins out of it.” Hazel grinned. “No promises.” And so, under the glow of the pumpkin patch and the twinkling lights of the enchanted forest, Hazel and Gourd began their happily ever after—complete with pumpkins, curses, and all the quirks that made their love story one for the ages. Because really, what’s love without a little magic... and a few pumpkin-related disasters?
