sarcastic bat

by Bill Tiepelman

Fur, Wings, and Midnight Stars

It wasn’t your typical night. No, it was one of those nights where everything felt just a little… off. The kind where the moon looked like it was hanging a little too low in the sky, the stars twinkled with an extra bit of sass, and the air smelled faintly of something suspiciously floral. As if the world had decided to add a hint of cherry blossom perfume, just to throw everyone off. Hanging from a thin branch, Bob, a bat with what he liked to call "above-average fur," swung upside down, wondering how his life had come to this exact point. Cherry blossoms? Really? How cliché. He’d been aiming for mysterious and edgy, not some kind of romantic backdrop for a Hallmark movie. Yet here he was, blending into an Instagram post waiting to happen, all fluffy and cute. Yuck. “Look at me,” he muttered sarcastically, squinting at the petals gently falling around him. “I’m a walking Pinterest board.” He flicked his wings dramatically, sending a couple of cherry blossoms fluttering to the ground like they had personally offended him. The moon, in its usual overly dramatic fashion, glowed as brightly as it could, determined to outshine everything else in the sky. “Oh, look at me,” the moon seemed to say. “I’m so big and round and full of myself.” Typical moon behavior. Bob rolled his eyes—at least as much as a bat could roll its eyes while hanging upside down. “Could you tone it down a bit?” Bob called out to the moon. “Some of us are trying to be mysterious over here.” The moon, of course, didn’t respond. It never did. Always too busy being the center of attention. Stars, on the other hand, twinkled mischievously in the background, as if they were in on some cosmic joke Bob hadn’t been invited to. “Oh yeah, sure, laugh it up,” Bob mumbled. “You’ve got one job. Blink. Real impressive. Meanwhile, I’m out here doing acrobatics, defying gravity, and hanging by my freakin’ toes. But sure, let's all focus on the big shiny ball in the sky.” At that moment, a particularly bold cherry blossom floated down and had the audacity to land directly on Bob’s head. He sighed heavily. “Perfect. Just perfect. This is exactly what I needed. A flower crown. I look like the poster bat for a hipster festival. Someone hand me a tiny latte so I can complete the look.” Bob had been hanging around this tree for a few hours now, waiting for something exciting to happen. And by exciting, he meant anything that wasn’t him accidentally falling asleep and almost plummeting to the ground. It wasn’t his fault, though. The nocturnal life could get... repetitive. You'd think a creature of the night would have some epic adventures—maybe an underground rave, or a thrilling chase with a vampire—but no. Mostly it was just endless nights of hanging out (literally) and listening to the wind rustle through the branches. “Why did I choose this tree again?” he asked himself. “Oh right, because the last one had that squirrel problem. Ugh, don’t even get me started on squirrels. One time I blinked, and they’d stolen my entire stash of perfectly good berries. And for what? To bury them? In what world does that make sense? Do they even remember where they put them? Spoiler alert: no.” Suddenly, a second bat—Vera—swooped in and landed gracefully next to Bob. She hung there, looking effortlessly cool, her sleek wings catching the moonlight in just the right way. Bob hated it when she did that. “You look... cozy,” Vera said, eyeing Bob’s accidental flower crown with a smirk. “Oh yeah, I’m living the dream,” Bob replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Just me, my petals, and an overly enthusiastic moon.” He flapped his wings lazily. “Life doesn’t get better than this.” Vera chuckled, her amusement only adding to Bob’s misery. “You’re such a drama bat,” she teased. “It’s kind of adorable, in a ‘tragically misunderstood artist’ kind of way.” “Please,” Bob scoffed. “I’m not misunderstood. I understand myself perfectly. I’m just not sure why I bother.” They hung in silence for a while, watching the stars flicker and the wind carry the scent of cherry blossoms through the air. Every now and then, Bob would let out an exasperated sigh, as if the weight of the entire night sky rested on his little bat shoulders. “You know,” Vera said after a while, “you could always just... fly somewhere else. If the cherry blossoms bother you that much.” “Fly where? Every tree around here is basically a scene from a botanical calendar. There’s no escaping the pretty.” “Or you could embrace it,” Vera suggested, clearly trying to be the voice of reason. “It’s not so bad. You’ve got a prime spot, great view of the moon—” “Ugh, don’t mention the moon,” Bob interrupted, glaring at the big glowing ball in the sky. “It’s like a giant nightlight that won’t turn off. Ever.” “Or,” Vera continued, ignoring him, “you could stop being so grumpy about everything. Maybe try... I don’t know... enjoying yourself?” Bob snorted. “Enjoy myself? In this economy?” Vera sighed, but there was a fondness in her eyes as she watched Bob fume over the petals that continued to rain down. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” “Yeah, well, someone’s got to be the voice of reason in this overly-optimistic world.” Bob shook the cherry blossom crown off his head. “Besides, I hear being miserable is very in this season.” “Oh yeah?” Vera raised an eyebrow. “And where did you hear that?” “The stars,” Bob said with a wink. “They’re gossipers, you know.” Vera laughed, and for a brief moment, Bob let a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Maybe tonight wasn’t so bad after all. Even if he did feel like a decorative ornament hanging in some picturesque scene. “Alright,” Bob sighed. “Maybe I’ll stick around a little longer. But if one more petal lands on my head, I’m burning this tree down.” “Good luck with that,” Vera replied, her voice dripping with amusement. “Let me know how that goes.” And so, with the stars giggling overhead, and the moon continuing to shine like the overachiever it was, Bob the bat decided to endure the night—flower crowns and all. After all, someone had to keep things grounded while the rest of the world floated away in its ridiculous beauty. Besides, the view wasn’t half bad.    Enjoyed the whimsical charm of "Fur, Wings, and Midnight Stars"? Now, you can bring a piece of Bob's night into your home! Whether you want to snuggle up with a cozy throw pillow or transform your space with a stunning tapestry, we’ve got you covered: Throw Pillow – Add a touch of moonlit whimsy to your couch with this fluffy bat-inspired pillow. Duvet Cover – Drift into dreams with this charming nocturnal scene wrapped around your bed. Tote Bag – Carry a piece of the night with you wherever you go, perfect for the quirky bat lover. Tapestry – Turn your wall into a dreamy, moonlit canvas with this beautiful piece. Explore the full collection and embrace the magic of "Fur, Wings, and Midnight Stars" today!