absurd magical adventure

Cuentos capturados

View

Fairytales in the Making

por Bill Tiepelman

Fairytales in the Making

The Wand Chooses the Whisker The evening arrived the way good stories do: with a thunk. Specifically, the thunk of an ancient spellbook landing on an even older wooden floor, followed by a puff of pale glitter that smelled faintly of cinnamon toast and improbable ideas. Across from the book sat a girl in a pink lace dress and a wizard hat bravely decorated with stars that looked like they’d auditioned for the moon and gotten a call-back. She held a wand that was definitely not a toy, if only because toys rarely hum in three keys at once or negotiate overtime for miracles. Beside the book, perched on a small stool with the solemn dignity of a tiny emperor, was yours truly—Marzipan, an adorably ferocious white kitten with junior dragon credentials: soft wings, a starter tail, and the sort of eyes that make adults say, “We can’t possibly take that home,” while already googling “cat-safe enchanted litter.” You might be thinking: “A kitten with wings? That’s a phase.” First, rude. Second, phases are for the moon; I’m a lifestyle. I’m also the narrator because the spellbook insists on doing only union-approved exposition and the wand refuses to monologue without stunt pay. Besides, you want the whisker-level view. Trust me. I’m close to the ground, but professionally lofty. This is a tale about magic and wonder, the power of imagination, and the surprisingly complex logistics of fitting a dragon personality into a housecat chassis. (We’ll get to doorframes. And curtains. RIP curtains.) The girl—her name is Wren, and yes, like the bird, which is confusing for a cat and terrible for my therapist—leaned closer, her hat brim forming a rosy eclipse. “Ready?” she whispered, and the wand brightened to a star-core spark. Sparks are like opinions: harmless in moderation, catastrophic near parchment. The spellbook fluttered in alarm until Wren patted its margin like a skittish horse. Pages calmed. Letters rearranged themselves, lining up into neat little ranks like toy soldiers who have just been told they’re going to war against dust. Here’s the first rule of responsible enchantment (and excellent wall décor): Frame the moment before it frames you. Wren did exactly that. She shifted the book a finger-width, angled the stool, and squared the wand so the light fell in a golden triangle—girl, book, beast—like a perfectly staged fantasy scene artwork. It wasn’t vanity; it was geometry. Magic is picky. If the composition tilts wrong, the spell comes out as lukewarm tea or, worse, paperwork. We were here for wow, not warranty forms. “By the glitter of small brave things,” Wren intoned, “by whisker and wing and a really good nap, reveal the dragon you want to be.” She looked at me, and the look said everything: I know what the world sees; let’s show them what it can’t yet imagine. The star at her wand-tip pulsed. A soft aurora spilled into the room, drifting over floorboards that had seen more birthdays than the moon knows how to count. The air smelled like comet sugar and warm library. Dust motes signed NDAs and turned into constellations. Above my little emperor head, a dragon-outline took shape—luminous, playful, slightly dramatic. (We share traits.) I won’t exaggerate. Okay, I will, but only where necessary. The light kissed my ears. It threaded my fur like spun silver. It ran its curious fingers along my rookery of dreams, tasting the places where kitten ends and dragon begins. I felt bigger—not taller, but roomier, as if my ribcage were a cathedral for bell-notes I hadn’t learned to ring. The wings—usually decorative unless someone opens tuna—stretched with a silky shiver. The tail (still on probation) traced a tidy question mark in the air, which is appropriate, because questions are how the universe preheats. “Marzipan,” Wren said, “this is only practice.” Her voice had the authority of a lighthouse and the softness of a bedtime promise. Adults underestimate bedtime promises. They’re tiny contracts with amazement. She guided the wand in a slow circle. The star sang a note that made the book’s leather sigh and the room’s shadows scoot politely aside. The shimmering dragon—my possibly-future, possibly-now—tilted its head as if to say, Nice to meet me. I chirped. (Dragons roar; kittens chirp. We’re working on it.) The sound threaded through the spell, and the aurora brightened. Somewhere, a curtain surrendered. My wings caught a draft of not-quite-wind, the way hope sometimes inflates your chest while your feet are still figuring out the memo. For a breathless second, I left the stool by the scientific distance of three crumbs and a rumor. Wren gasped. I landed—gracefully if you’re generous, hilariously if you’re sentient—and pretended that had been the plan. Sassy dignity is ninety percent pretending it was the plan. Listen, dear reader, collector, daydreaming adult who knows that a home needs at least one piece of whimsical fantasy art to keep the dust honest: there’s a reason we start with practice. Magic is a muscle, and imagination is the gym membership you actually use. Tonight, we were lifting small wonders. Tomorrow, we might bench-press the moon (ethically). For now, the goal was simple: hold the pose, make the light, and let the moment become a photograph the heart doesn’t forget, the kind you frame over a reading chair and point to when guests ask, “Is that a kitten with dragon wings?” and you say, “Obviously,” as if obviousness were a type of courage. The star dimmed to a smolder. The dragon-outline hovered like a possibility deciding whether to land. Wren smiled—mischief with a bow on it. “Again?” she asked. The spellbook rustled its pages into applause. I adjusted my tail, lifted my whiskers, and summoned my best legend-in-training face. The wand lifted. The room held its breath. And somewhere beyond the rafters, the universe leaned in like a friend with tea saying, “Tell me everything.” The Curtain Conspiracy You know how some nights feel like the universe has RSVP’d early and showed up with hors d'oeuvres made of starlight? This was one of those. The dragon-outline above my head shimmered like a soap bubble that had majored in theatrics. Its wings stretched wider, its glow reflected in Wren’s big curious eyes, and for the record, I looked spectacular. Not “cute kitten with a gimmick” spectacular, but “if Da Vinci had painted a housecat after three glasses of enchanted wine” spectacular. Naturally, nobody took a picture. Humans. Always trusting memory like it’s not leaky as a colander in a rainstorm. “Stay still,” Wren whispered, as if I were a nervous ballerina. Which was adorable, because kittens and ballerinas share exactly one thing: the inability to resist twirling when provoked. My whiskers tingled with the vibration of her spell. The wand hummed like it had downloaded a suspiciously large software update. The spellbook’s pages quivered, their letters leaning out like nosy neighbors over the hedge. This was art in the making—not polished, not framed, but wild, alive, and un-housebroken. Then came the curtains. Curtains, dear reader, are the sworn enemies of magic. They hang there, smug, pretending to frame windows when their real hobby is strangling fledgling miracles. As my dragon-shadow flexed its magnificent phantom wings, one little arc of energy snagged the hem of a paisley drape and—whoosh—ignited the entire panel in a shimmer that smelled like bubblegum and embarrassment. It didn’t burn. Oh no, nothing so simple. It started dancing. Yes, dancing. A two-step shimmy, complete with sways and the occasional pirouette. “Marzipan!” Wren hissed. Which was unfair, because frankly it wasn’t my fault the curtains lacked professional discipline. But fine. I puffed myself up, wings out, tail curled like a punctuation mark, and chirped a single commanding note. The aurora above me pulsed in agreement. The curtains froze mid-shimmy, blushing an apologetic shade of rose. Then they collapsed into ordinary fabric again, flopping like teenagers caught sneaking back past curfew. “Better,” Wren said, lowering her wand slightly. Her grin betrayed her tone: she was delighted. She always was when magic misbehaved, because that’s when the story got good. If you’ve ever been an adult trying to explain why your living room contains charred drapery and a kitten who looks suspiciously like he’s hiding a flamethrower in his fur, you understand: these are the anecdotes that build reputations. Let’s pause here and acknowledge something important. Magic is 40% ritual, 30% imagination, 20% chaos, and 10% snacks. Without snacks, things get feral. Tonight’s snack of choice was a saucer of milk balanced on a nearby shelf, a decoy offered to distract me should the spell grow too interesting. Rookie mistake. Milk is a beverage; chaos is a calling. Wren turned a page in the spellbook. The parchment whispered. The letters rearranged themselves again, but this time, instead of tidy little ranks, they became doodles—spirals, stars, one rude caricature of me that made my ears look like satellite dishes. “Don’t look at that,” I mewed. She ignored me, tracing the spirals with her finger. The wand glowed brighter, matching her focus. Imagination feeding magic feeding imagination. A feedback loop of whimsy. Dangerous. Delicious. The dragon-outline thickened. No longer a suggestion, but a half-sketched reality. Its scales glittered like someone spilled diamonds over midnight. Its tail brushed the rafters, leaving trails of neon-green afterlight. Its eyes blinked open, two lanterns of golden curiosity. And the funniest thing? It looked exactly like me—if I’d been upgraded to “Boss Level.” Same smug whisker tilt. Same sly tail flick. Same general aura of “Yes, I deserve fan mail.” Wren squealed softly. She clapped her hands, which nearly broke the spell (never clap near active magic, folks, unless you want applause from dimensions you didn’t invite). “It’s working!” she said. Her hat slipped sideways. The dragon-shadow cocked its head like a critic evaluating the performance. Then it winked at me. Yes, winked. Nothing chills a kitten’s blood quite like being winked at by your hypothetical glow-in-the-dark doppelgänger. I bolted. Not far—just across the floor to the safety of an overturned shoebox. My wings flared, my tail lashed, and my pride leaked out like glitter from a party bag. Wren giggled. “Don’t be shy,” she said. Easy for her; her doppelgänger wasn’t about to unionize and demand equal cuddles. The spellbook flapped impatiently, pages flickering like an angry bird. Its margins scribbled notes to itself: stabilize resonance, feed imagination, don’t let curtains unionize again. Wren nodded sagely, as though she’d understood any of that. Then she raised the wand high, the star at its tip swelling to a miniature sun. Shadows scattered to the corners. Dust motes rearranged into a polite audience. The room became a stage. We were the players. And the story—our story—was stretching its wings. I crept forward again, cautiously. The dragon-shadow lowered its glowing head, meeting me eye to eye. We studied each other. Both smug. Both curious. Both knowing that someday, one of us would outgrow the other. Then, in a moment that made the air quiver like a plucked harp string, the dragon’s muzzle touched my forehead. Not physically, but in a shimmer that tingled like carbonated stars. A rush flooded me—warmth, vastness, mischief on an elemental scale. Suddenly, I didn’t just imagine being a dragon. I remembered it. Past lives, future selves, impossible stories, all stacked like teacups balanced by fate’s drunk uncle. Wren gasped. “Did you see that?” she whispered to no one in particular. The wand pulsed, echoing the bond. The spellbook scribbled furiously, quills squeaking. The curtains wisely stayed out of it this time. The dragon-shadow pulled back, leaving me dizzy with wonder and hungry for fish. (Magic always makes you crave fish. Don’t ask why.) And that’s how it began: not with fire or fury, but with curtains that couldn’t dance, a book that couldn’t shut up, a girl who wouldn’t quit, and a kitten—me—who discovered he was bigger on the inside. Which, if you’ve ever been underestimated, you know is the sweetest kind of revenge. The Spell That Forgot Its Manners Here’s the thing about spells: they’re like dinner guests. Some arrive on time with flowers and wine, others track mud across your rug and insist on rearranging the furniture. Tonight’s spell? Oh, it was definitely the latter. Wren’s wand pulsed brighter, the spellbook flapped with the dignity of a goose auditioning for Swan Lake, and the dragon-shadow decided it had opinions. Big ones. Opinions about furniture placement, household architecture, and the urgent need for ceiling renovations. My humble cottage-sized frame was not built for these negotiations, but apparently my doppelgänger dragon had a union card in cosmic redecorating. The rafters groaned. The dragon-shadow’s wings brushed them, leaving streaks of phosphorescent graffiti: looping symbols that looked suspiciously like “YOLO” in ancient runes. Wren squinted, trying to copy them into the spellbook, but the letters wriggled away like toddlers refusing bedtime. I sat in the center of the chaos, tail curled primly, watching with the smug satisfaction of a creature who knows he’s too adorable to be blamed for property damage. (Pro tip: always keep your whiskers immaculate during disasters; people will assume you’re innocent.) “Marzipan,” Wren said with that particular tone children reserve for unruly sidekicks, “you have to focus.” Which was rich, considering her hat had slipped so low she looked like a magical lampshade. Still, I narrowed my eyes and puffed out my chest. I chirped my most commanding chirp. The dragon-shadow rippled in acknowledgment, then flared brighter—so bright the milk on the shelf curdled into yogurt. A win, if you ask me. Breakfast for tomorrow: sorted. Then it happened. The spell got… ideas. Oh, dangerous ideas. The aurora swirled around the room, rearranging objects with giddy disobedience. The shoebox that had been my hiding fort? Floated upside down like a sulky balloon. The curtains (traitors) rose again, twirling into awkward ballroom poses. Even the saucer of milk performed a lazy pirouette before splashing its contents onto the spellbook’s corner. The book screeched like a librarian discovering you’ve dog-eared her favorite novel. Its margins flared crimson ink and scribbled furious curses at the dairy industry. Wren panicked for half a heartbeat—then laughed. Laughed like a child who just realized the universe wasn’t fragile, it was funny. That laugh bent the spell like sunlight through glass. The dragon-shadow folded its massive wings and tilted its head, listening. The aurora slowed its rampage, swirling instead into little ribbons of light that looped and twined through the room. They brushed against my fur, making me glow faintly like a smug night-light. Wren giggled harder, clutching her wand with one hand and her slipping hat with the other. “See? It’s not broken—it’s playful!” Playful. A dangerous word. Like “harmless prank” or “quick snack.” The ribbons of light, emboldened by her declaration, began forming shapes. First, simple things: stars, spirals, a giant fish (much appreciated). Then, more elaborate: a teacup, a bicycle, a unicorn whose horn looked suspiciously like a traffic cone. Finally, they attempted a human. Big mistake. The figure they wove stood lopsided, with too many elbows and a face like a potato that had joined a witness protection program. It waved at us. Wren waved back. I hissed. Look, imagination is fine, but I draw the line at nightmare potatoes. The potato-person collapsed back into sparks with a sigh of relief. Wren wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks. “Magic’s sense of humor,” she said breathlessly. “It’s just like mine!” Which was concerning, because her humor involved knock-knock jokes that ended in philosophical crises. Still, her joy tethered the wildness. The spell calmed, the light ribbons dissolving into cozy glows that lit the rafters like fairy lanterns. For a moment, the room felt like the inside of a snow globe someone had shaken with love instead of malice. That’s when the dragon-shadow spoke. Not words, exactly—more like a thought sneezed directly into my brain. You are small, but you are mine. Which was flattering, until it added: And also, I am you. Oh, lovely. Nothing like an identity crisis to spice up a Tuesday night. I tilted my head, trying to look wise, though I probably resembled a kitten deciding whether to chase lint or overthrow governments. Wren tilted her head the same way. For one dizzy second, we were a triangle of mimicry: girl, cat, dragon. The spellbook sulked. The curtains pretended not to exist. Magic is sticky. Once it decides you’re in, you don’t just walk away. You wade, you paddle, you sometimes drown with dignity. That night, as the dragon-shadow merged closer, I felt my bones hum with potential, my fur itch with stories yet unwritten, my tail twitch like a pen scribbling across cosmic parchment. Wren leaned toward me, her voice soft but strong: “Let’s not just make a spell, Marzipan. Let’s make a story.” And that was it. The curtains, the yogurt, the potato-person—they weren’t failures. They were chapters. Imagination’s bloopers reel. I purred. Deep, resonant, like a tiny engine tuning itself to destiny. The dragon-shadow purred too, which rattled the rafters and made the windows hum. Wren laughed again, wild and unafraid. Together, we weren’t just practicing magic—we were building a fairytale. One awkward, glowing, sassy mistake at a time. Lift-Off, or How Not to Redecorate a Ceiling The problem with spells that forget their manners is that they eventually remember other people’s bad habits. In this case, gravity. Or, more accurately, the lack of it. One moment, I was grooming my immaculate whiskers in preparation for destiny’s next close-up; the next, my paws left the floor with all the dignity of a helium balloon that accidentally joined Cirque du Soleil. My wings fluttered. Not gracefully—more like two feathered pancakes trying to escape a frying pan. Wren squealed, the wand flared, and suddenly the entire room was on a field trip to zero-G land. Chairs lifted first. The shoebox fort rotated lazily in midair like a confused moon. The spellbook levitated just enough to look smug, its pages fluttering as though it had always intended to fly (spoiler: it hadn’t). Then Wren herself rose, her pink lace dress blooming around her like a rebellious jellyfish. She clutched her wizard hat with both hands to keep it from deserting her forehead, which left her wand free to twirl in the air like a magical baton in a parade of chaos. As for me? I soared. And by “soared,” I mean: I collided with the rafters, rebounded off a floating curtain rod, and performed what critics will one day call the most undignified somersault in dragon-cat history. My dragon-shadow, of course, looked magnificent, gliding effortlessly through the air as if auditioning for the cover of “Winged Beasts Quarterly.” I mewed in protest. The shadow winked at me again. If smugness were combustible, the entire village would have gone up in flames. “Marzipan, flap!” Wren shouted between peals of laughter. Easy for her to say. She had arms. I had fuzzy panic and wings that refused to read the manual. Still, I tried. I flapped, once, twice. On the third attempt, something clicked—like when you finally figure out how to open a stubborn pickle jar but discover it contains glitter instead of pickles. My wings caught the enchanted air. I steadied. I glided. Graceful? Not yet. But less embarrassing than the shoebox, which had by now given up all dignity and was sulking near the ceiling fan. Wren giggled so hard she started spinning, dress and hair a pink comet around her. She was still clutching that hat like it contained state secrets. Her wand, free of supervision, flicked random sparks that turned dust motes into tiny glowfish. They darted around me, nipping at my tail, daring me to chase them. I obliged, of course. When enchanted fish challenge you, you don’t decline; you accept, with a hiss and a loop-de-loop that would make physics cry. Down below—though “down” was increasingly theoretical—the curtains decided to rebel again. This time, instead of dancing, they wrapped themselves into what can only be described as a smug parachute. They floated in slow motion, trying to look more elegant than me. (Fail.) Wren noticed, snorted, and whispered something under her breath. The curtains instantly turned plaid. Bright, hideous plaid. They drooped in humiliation. Small victories matter. The dragon-shadow, meanwhile, had grown bolder. Its outline thickened, its scales glowed like spilled starlight, and its wings filled the ceiling space until the rafters looked like toothpicks in a bonfire. Then, in a move that would later haunt my dreams, it lowered its massive claws and scooped Wren gently out of midair. She gasped, clinging tighter to her hat, dangling like a giddy pendant from the shimmering beast. “Marzipan! We’re flying!” she squealed. And we were. Sort of. She was. I was busy dodging glowfish, plaid curtains, and my own flapping tail. Still, in the periphery, I caught the shape of her grin: wide, fearless, the grin of someone who believes the world is bendable clay and she’s holding the wheel. That grin steadied me more than my wings ever could. For a heartbeat, I stopped flapping in panic and started gliding on purpose. The aurora currents held me. My paws stretched, my whiskers quivered. For the first time, I wasn’t just a kitten pretending. I was a dragon rehearsing. Of course, the ceiling had other opinions. Specifically, it cracked. A long, deliberate crack, like the house itself clearing its throat to say, “Excuse me, this is a rental.” Plaster snowed down. Wren shrieked with laughter instead of fear. The dragon-shadow roared silently, and the sound rattled my ribs though no one else heard it. The spellbook scribbled furious warnings in its margins, none of which Wren read. The shoebox, still sulking, spun in lazy protest. And me? I laughed too—or purred, or chirped, or whatever sound kittens make when they realize they’re having the time of their nine lives. And just as the rafters threatened to give way entirely, the spell shifted again. The dragon-shadow’s glow dimmed, the aurora slowed, and gravity remembered its job. Everything dropped—girl, book, shoebox, kitten. The landing was… let’s call it “collaborative.” Wren tumbled into a heap of curtains. The book thudded onto the floor with a groan. The shoebox collapsed into cardboard despair. And me? I landed squarely on Wren’s lap, tail high, whiskers perfect, pretending it had all gone according to plan. (Because dignity, my dear reader, is ninety percent pretending.) She laughed, hugging me tight despite the glitter still fizzing around us. “Best flight ever,” she declared. The wand, lying beside her, gave one last tired spark of agreement. And just like that, the room went still—except for the faint outline of the dragon-shadow above us, watching, waiting, patient as tomorrow. Neighbors, Nonsense, and Negotiations with Destiny If you’ve ever lived in a village where everyone knows when you sneeze—and three people knit you a scarf about it—you understand that Wren’s magical rehearsal wasn’t exactly a private affair. The flight, the curtains, the plaster, the aurora glow that briefly turned the roof into a nightclub for stars—it all carried through the night like a gossip with wings. Which meant that, predictably, there was a knock at the door. A polite knock. Then an impatient one. Then a third knock that clearly implied someone better explain why the moon just tap-danced on our chimney. Wren froze, still tangled in plaid curtains. I froze too, mostly because my fur was still fizzing with leftover sparkles and I resembled a living snow globe. The spellbook, however, took initiative. It slid across the floor, pages flapping, until it positioned itself by the door like a bouncer. On its open page, angry red letters scrawled themselves: Not Now. Destiny in Progress. The knock grew louder. Then came a muffled voice: “Miss Wren? Are you… hosting comets in there again?” It was Mrs. Thistlebloom, the neighbor famous for her pies, her unsolicited advice, and her suspicion that dragons were just overgrown pigeons with better PR. Wren’s eyes widened. “Don’t answer,” she whispered. The book snapped its cover shut in agreement. I, of course, chirped at the door. Because I am a cat, and therefore contractually obligated to ruin stealth with cuteness. Mrs. Thistlebloom pushed the door open anyway. It creaked ominously, revealing her silhouette framed by moonlight. She sniffed. Her nose twitched. Her spectacles glinted. Behind her waddled her corgi, Bumbles, whose default expression was “I know your secrets and I disapprove.” The corgi froze, his stubby tail stiffening as his eyes landed on me—glowing faintly, wings twitching, tail leaving streaks of aurora on the floor. He barked. Once. Loud enough to make the curtains flinch. “Oh, heavens,” Mrs. Thistlebloom muttered. “Not again.” She stepped inside, brushing past the spellbook, which scribbled Entry Denied on her shoes. She ignored it. Her gaze flicked from the cracked ceiling, to the sulking shoebox, to Wren in her pink lace dress and starry hat, to me perched like destiny’s mascot. “You’ve been dabbling.” She said it like dabbling was one step short of felony arson. Wren scrambled upright, clutching me to her chest like I was Exhibit A in her defense case. “It was practice!” she squeaked. Her hat flopped sideways for emphasis. “And look—Marzipan is fine!” I nodded, whiskers immaculate. (Presentation matters in court.) The dragon-shadow loomed faintly above us, pretending to be an innocent chandelier. Mrs. Thistlebloom sighed, the sigh of someone who had once been young and foolish and was now older, wiser, and only slightly jealous. “Magic has rules, Wren. And rules have neighbors.” Her eyes softened, though, when she looked at me. “But I’ll admit… the wings suit him.” Bumbles growled in disagreement, clearly plotting a strongly worded letter to the village council. Before Wren could argue, the spellbook flipped open again, this time scribbling frantically: ATTENTION. IMPORTANT. STORY ARC APPROACHING. The letters glowed gold, then rearranged themselves into a crude cartoon of a pie. Then another of a dragon. Then—oh gods—a dragon eating a pie. Wren blinked. I licked my lips. Mrs. Thistlebloom clutched her handbag like the book had just revealed state secrets. And then the smell hit us. Warm, buttery, impossible. The scent of pie—real pie, not imaginary light-ribbon pie—drifted into the room. I don’t mean a hint. I mean the kind of aroma that seizes your nose, rewires your priorities, and whispers, forget destiny, you need a fork. My wings fluttered involuntarily. Wren’s stomach growled like a distant thunderstorm. Even the dragon-shadow perked up, its luminous nostrils flaring. Mrs. Thistlebloom blinked. “That’s not mine,” she said nervously. Which meant, logically, it was magic. Wild, wandering, pie-scented magic. The spellbook underlined its pie doodle three times, then scrawled in big shimmering letters: QUEST ACCEPTED. Wren gasped, clapping her hands. “A quest!” she cried. Her eyes glittered, hat bobbing. “Marzipan, this is it! The story’s next chapter!” She looked down at me, as if I were a seasoned knight rather than a kitten who’d just failed basic flight training. I purred anyway. What else was I going to do—say no to pie? Mrs. Thistlebloom groaned. “Don’t drag me into this nonsense.” She turned to leave, but Bumbles refused to move, glaring at me like a canine prosecutor. The dragon-shadow, however, loomed larger, casting its glow across the room until even the corgi stopped growling. Something in the air shifted—bigger than pie, bigger than plaster cracks. The sense that imagination had just written us a blank check and was waiting to see how recklessly we’d cash it. And in that silence, Wren whispered the words that stitched destiny into comedy, wonder, and chaos all at once: “Let’s follow the pie.” The Pastry at the End of the Rainbow If destiny ever wants to lure you out of bed at midnight, it won’t bother with trumpets or angels. It’ll just bake. The buttery perfume of pie wafted through the village, tugging us like invisible strings. Wren marched ahead, pink lace dress swishing, wizard hat slightly crooked but proud. I padded beside her, wings twitching with anticipation, tail arched like an exclamation mark. Behind us waddled Bumbles the corgi, sighing like he’d been roped into babysitting delinquents, while the spellbook floated indignantly at shoulder height, pages snapping like castanets. Above us, the dragon-shadow stretched across rooftops, silent, shimmering, equal parts guardian and neon sign flashing “THIS WILL ESCALATE.” The trail of scent led us down cobblestone alleys, past lampposts that hummed suspiciously with magic, past shutters that cracked open just enough for sleepy villagers to mutter, “Oh lord, she’s at it again.” Wren ignored them, because when pie is destiny, reputation is optional. Finally, we turned a corner and found it: sitting on a wooden crate in the middle of the square, bathed in moonlight, was The Pie. Not a normal pie. No, this was a capital-P Pastry. Golden crust gleaming like treasure, filling that shimmered between apple, cherry, and something that might have been starlight pudding. Steam rose in curling ribbons that spelled rude jokes in cursive. It radiated power, promise, and calories. My whiskers twitched. Wren’s eyes widened. Even Bumbles, traitor that he was, whimpered in longing. The spellbook trembled, flipping open to reveal one massive glowing word: BOSS BATTLE. Because of course. Of course the pie wasn’t unattended. With a dramatic whoosh, the shadows behind the crate coalesced into a figure: tall, cloaked, radiating the kind of energy that says “I have a master’s degree in ominous entrances.” The hood fell back, revealing—oh irony—a baker. A very cross baker, flour on his cheeks, apron flapping like battle armor. “You’ve meddled,” he intoned, voice rumbling like a sourdough starter left too long. “This pie is not for the likes of you.” Wren tilted her chin, wand raised. “Everything’s for the likes of us,” she said sassily. The dragon-shadow above us flared brighter, filling the square with light. I strutted forward, puffing my chest, wings wide. If he wanted intimidation, fine—I’d give him adorable menace. The baker hesitated. For one fatal second, he underestimated me. Rookie mistake. I pounced. Not on him, of course—I’m not reckless. On the pie. My tiny paw smacked the crust, releasing a puff of cinnamon starlight so strong it sent the baker staggering back. Wren shouted a spell. The wand glowed, hurling a wave of giggles so powerful the cobblestones themselves chuckled. The dragon-shadow roared, rattling windows, a soundless thunder that pinned the baker in place. He flailed, apron strings tangling, while Bumbles (at long last useful) bit him firmly on the boot. The spellbook scribbled furiously, quills squeaking, until the page declared: VICTORY, WITH SNACKS. And just like that, the battle was over. The baker dissolved into flour dust, swept away by the night breeze, leaving only the crate, the moon, and The Pie. Wren approached reverently, lifting it with both hands. “Marzipan,” she whispered, “this is our proof. Magic isn’t just rules and ceilings and crabby neighbors. It’s joy. It’s laughter. It’s pie that smells like galaxies.” She set it down on the cobblestone, broke it open, and steam billowed up in shapes—dragons, kittens, stories we hadn’t told yet. She tore off a piece of crust and offered it to me. I sniffed, nibbled, purred. It tasted like everything wonderful I hadn’t dared to believe I could be. It tasted like home. We feasted there in the square: girl, kitten, dragon-shadow, spellbook, corgi (begrudgingly fed crumbs), even the curtains, which floated in through the night breeze to claim a corner slice. Mrs. Thistlebloom peeked from her window, saw us glowing with wonder and pastry crumbs, and muttered, “Ridiculous,” though her eyes softened like sugar melting in tea. The village, lulled by the scent, dreamed sweeter dreams than it had in years. And me? I curled on Wren’s lap, wings folded, belly full, heart brighter than the stars. Maybe I wasn’t a full dragon yet. Maybe I was still small, still learning. But as the dragon-shadow settled above us like a constellation only we could see, I knew this: I was not just a kitten. I was imagination in fur. I was the story purring itself awake. And tomorrow, when Wren picked up her wand again, we’d make another mess, another miracle. Fairytales in the making.     If you’d like to bring a little of this magic into your own world, Fairytales in the Making is available as a collection of enchanting keepsakes and décor. Imagine this whimsical scene glowing on your wall as a framed print, shimmering as a vibrant metal print, or standing out as a richly textured canvas print. For those who prefer to carry their imagination with them, it can travel by your side as a charming tote bag, or even be tucked away in your thoughts and plans inside a spiral notebook. And when the day is done, nothing feels cozier than wrapping yourself in a story—quite literally—with the soft embrace of a fleece blanket featuring this artwork. Every piece is a reminder that wonder is not just something you read about—it’s something you live with, decorate with, and sometimes even nap under. Add a touch of magic to your home or gift it to a fellow dreamer. After all, fairytales are best when shared.

Seguir leyendo

Madame Mugwort’s Morning Ritual

por Bill Tiepelman

Ritual matutino de Madame Mugwort

La cerveza antes del boom Madame Artemisa no toleraba interrupciones antes de su primera taza. Ni de los cuervos, ni de los espíritus del ático, y sobre todo de la ninfa excesivamente alegre de al lado que creía que cantarle a sus begonias al amanecer era una opción de vida aceptable. —Si hubiera querido que un duendecillo gorjeante asaltara mi mañana, habría adoptado un sátiro —murmuró Mugwort, cerrando las cortinas de un tirón con una mano nudosa que brillaba débilmente con hechizos anti-alegría. La tetera, por supuesto, ya chirriaba, no con el típico silbido, sino con el típico sonido de una banshee en llamas. Estaba encantada para alertar a los vecinos no muertos para que se ocuparan de sus tumbas. Artemisa se acercó arrastrando los pies, sus zapatillas de retazos susurrando secretos al suelo a su paso. Con el vapor de algo posiblemente cafeinado y vagamente vivo saliendo del pico, vertió la bebida hirviendo en una taza tallada con protecciones, glifos y algún que otro sigilo pasivo-agresivo. «Para Claridad y Calma», decía la base, una mentira tan descarada que brillaba ligeramente bajo el sol de la mañana. Tomó un sorbo. Luego otro. La habitación exhaló. En algún lugar, un trueno lejano se alejó tímidamente. Su ceja izquierda, antes levantada con perpetua sospecha, bajó lentamente a su estado de reposo de «Sigo observándote, pero lo permitiré». Mientras la poción le hacía efecto, Artemisia se asomó por encima del alféizar de madera, donde la niebla se cernía como una resaca hecha de bruma. Los pájaros no piaban. Sabían que no era así. Un arrendajo azul particularmente audaz emitió un breve graznido y luego estalló en destellos: les había advertido sobre la runa perimetral. La selección natural era dura, pero efectiva en el Bosque Wyrd. Se ajustó el chal con más fuerza; la tela escocesa absorbía las extrañas energías de la mañana como una acogedora esponja de descaro ancestral. Cada hilo estaba cosido con una lección. «No confíes en un druida que no sabe cocinar», decía uno. «Los lobos mienten. Los búhos escuchan a escondidas. Las hadas coquetean para robarte el alma. Y nunca salgas con un hombre que insista en que lo llamen «Hechicero Supremo»; probablemente aún viva con su madre». Hoy, pensó, sería el día. Las bolsitas de té de presagio se habían disuelto en formas fálicas. El espejo le había guiñado un ojo dos veces. Y el consejo de ardillas de afuera había dejado tres bellotas apiladas en la inconfundible forma de un dedo corazón. Sí. Hoy era el día que había estado evitando durante 147 años, dos meses y un martes inconveniente: se enfrentaría a su pasado. O al menos abriría la maldita carta, aún sellada en ese maldito sobre verde sobre la repisa. La que zumbaba suavemente. La que de vez en cuando echaba chispas. Pero primero, otro sorbo. Porque incluso cuando el destino te araña la puerta con una gabardina y nada más, no te ocupas de él hasta que la taza esté vacía. Respiró profundamente, se ajustó el pañuelo con un gesto que hizo que una polilla se desmayara de admiración y murmuró: —Muy bien, destino. ¡Qué descarado! ¡A bailar! Solo... dame cinco minutos más. El sobre de las travesuras sin resolver Cinco minutos se convirtieron en veintidós. No es que el tiempo fluyera con normalidad en la cabaña de Mugwort. El reloj de pie era sensible, insignificante y totalmente inestable: tras haberse enamorado de un perchero en 1893, se negó a sonar hasta que ella los reunió. Mugwort, por supuesto, se negó por principios. El perchero estaba astillado y tenía mal gusto en sombreros. Estaba sentada en su mecedora chirriante, con la taza vacía, salvo por una hoja de té sensible pegada al borde como un marinero borracho. El brillo de sus ojos se atenuó ligeramente al contemplar el sobre: ​​verde bosque, sellado con lacre y una insignia espinosa, y latiendo como un latido culpable. Suspiró con todo el peso de una mujer que ha vivido cinco pandemias, tres invasiones y una desafortunada aventura de verano con un cambiaformas que nunca aprendió a tener límites. —Si esta maldita carta contiene otra profecía sobre el fin del mundo, juro que quemaré el jacuzzi del oráculo —murmuró, levantando el sobre con la cautela normalmente reservada para los dragones, el queso maldito o el correo de los fans. Sus dedos temblaban levemente. No de miedo, sino de irritación. «Que se sepa», dijo en voz alta a los muebles, «que si esto resulta ser de mi ex, yo personalmente hechizaré cada par de sus calzoncillos y los convertiré en enredaderas sensibles y pegajosas». La cera se derritió con un siseo al golpearla con la uña del pulgar. La carta se desdobló sola —por supuesto que sí—, revelando una tinta que brillaba entre dorada y roja sangre, según lo culpable que te sintieras al leerla. Artemisa entrecerró los ojos al ver las palabras en cursiva dramática y exagerada: “Querida Elmira Mugwort, ha llegado el momento”. —Vete a la mierda —gruñó—. Siempre ha venido. ¿Cuándo fue la última vez que alguien me escribió diciendo: «No importa, el Tiempo está echando una siesta»? La carta continuaba, ajena a su desprecio: Se aproxima un gran desenlace. Debes viajar al Pantano Olvidado, buscar la Torre del Nunca Más y recuperar la Copa de la Eternidad... Ella dejó de leer. Su ojo tembló. "No." Lanzó el pergamino al otro lado de la habitación. Estalló en inofensivas llamas azules, se disolvió en cenizas y se recompuso en el aire, de vuelta en su regazo, como un ex desesperado con acceso a tus copias de seguridad en la nube. «Tienes que irte», insistió con una nueva fuente, más atrevida esta vez, Comic Sans con autoridad divina. Respiró hondo, hastiada del mundo. «Sabía que este día llegaría. Solo esperaba que llegara después de reencarnarme en una gata doméstica mimada con una postura excelente». Arrastrándose de la silla con exagerado dramatismo, recuperó su bolso de viaje: un artilugio de cuero remendado que olía a regaliz, libros viejos y malas decisiones. Abrió el cajón de las hierbas, que enseguida la regañó. «No has repuesto tu corteza para la migraña en un mes», dijo con la voz de su madre. «Y no creas que no me di cuenta de que usaste perejil en lugar de raíz de sierpe en el guiso del jueves pasado». —Wyrmroot me da gases —espetó Artemisa. Metió un frasco de polvo de sueños, tres galletas de duende y una cuchara sarcástica que susurraba consejos no solicitados. Su bastón —retorcido, hermoso y ligeramente pasivo-agresivo— estaba apoyado contra la pared tarareando música de espectáculos. Lo agarró. El bastón suspiró. —No empieces —advirtió—. Hacemos esto porque algún sistema postal místico insiste en arrastrarme al destino una vez más. Mientras se preparaba para irse, la chimenea retumbó. Un rostro apareció entre las llamas: pómulos altivos, ojos ahumados y la expresión inconfundible de alguien que había asistido a demasiadas reuniones secretas del consejo. «Elmira», decía. —Flamefax, si me dices que soy el único que puede detener esto, le daré una bofetada a tu manifestación con un pescado congelado. Parpadeó. "Bueno, técnicamente eres tú y un grupo de..." ¡No! No vamos a volver a reunir a un grupo de inadaptados. El último terminó con una cabra robada, un ukelele poseído y una orden de alejamiento del Gremio de Tritones. “Se lo llevaron, ¿no?” “Sólo los martes alternos durante las lunas menguantes”. El cara de fuego suspiró. «Mira, Artemisa, no tienes que hacer esto sola. La profecía dice...» “La profecía puede besarme el culo a cuadros”. Apagó la llama de un solo soplido. Emitió un leve y triste silbido y desapareció. Artemisa permaneció allí, con los brazos cruzados y los labios fruncidos, considerando lo absurdo de otra búsqueda mágica a su edad. «Cualquiera diría que me he ganado mi menopausia mágica y que por fin puedo estar sola para fermentar ginebra y juzgar los chakras de la gente», refunfuñó. Pero algo se agitó en su interior: no era obligación, ni siquiera curiosidad. Solo una leve picazón por un asunto pendiente. De esos que se te meten bajo las uñas y te susurran: «Aún no has terminado, querida». Contempló el sol matutino que se asomaba entre los árboles; no era dorado, sino cobrizo, como una moneda lanzada demasiadas veces. Una decisión tomada. Una puerta que se abría. O al menos crujía en sus bisagras, exigiendo WD-40 y un poco de coraje. —De acuerdo —dijo en voz alta, ajustándose la bata, el pañuelo y ajustando una mochila que ahora se retorcía con equipaje semiconsciente—. Pero te juro que si veo a un Elegido más con un corte de pelo dramático y sin control de impulsos, lo convertiré en un tritón con síndrome del intestino irritable. Con eso, Madame Artemisa salió de su puerta torcida, hacia el sinuoso camino del destino, con una sonrisa sarcástica, un bastón brillante y una taza llena de té ya frío en la mano. Porque si iba a enfrentarse al destino, lo haría de la misma manera que hacía todo: En sus propios términos... y elegantemente tarde. La maldición, la copa y la conclusión cataclísmica El camino al Pantano Olvidado era menos un camino y más una sugerencia irrespetuosa tallada por rayos, rencor y recortes presupuestarios. Las botas de Artemisa chapoteaban a cada paso, cada una produciendo un chapoteo que sonaba vagamente como ranas gimiendo reconsiderando sus decisiones vitales. —Por eso —murmuró, espantando un mosquito del tamaño de una toronja— no me tomo las profecías en serio. Si los dioses me hubieran querido en un pantano, podrían haberme enviado vino y una balsa. Su bastón, siempre dispuesto a provocar, se iluminó con un destello dramático un letrero retorcido clavado en un árbol esquelético. «ADVERTENCIA: Aquí puede haber leves inconvenientes». Debajo, en texto más pequeño: «También Muerte». Pero Artemisa no se inmutó. Había enfrentado cosas peores en su mejor momento. Había destronado al Rey de las Arañas con un cucharón, se había divorciado de un dios por la mala higiene de sus pies y, en una ocasión, había desterrado a un demonio de la plaga insultándolo hasta que renunció a la existencia. Aun así, la Torre de Nunca Jamás se alzaba imponente, alzándose como un mensaje de texto no solicitado: alta, ominosa e imposible de ignorar. Sus piedras lloraban musgo y maldiciones. Los relámpagos se cernían sobre su cima como manos celestiales de jazz. Y encaramada en la entrada, guardándola con el entusiasmo de un gato que observa un grifo que gotea, había una esfinge con medio crucigrama y un problema de actitud. “Responde mi acertijo y…” comenzó. —No —interrumpió Mugwort, lanzándole una moneda. “Así no es como—” Estás solo. Te pagan mal. Estás cansado de tus propios acertijos. Toma la moneda, cómprate un pastel y déjame pasar. La esfinge parpadeó. Olió la moneda. La lamió. Se encogió de hombros. «Al diablo. Adelante». En el interior, la torre ascendía en espiral con esa forma antigua diseñada por arquitectos que odian las rodillas. La artemisa subía, resoplando maldiciones en cada escalón. Las paredes susurraban secretos olvidados, la mayoría en haikus pasivo-agresivos. Uno decía: El poder está arriba Pero también lo hace un olor a podrido. En serio, ¡qué asco! En lo alto, sobre un pedestal que vibraba con una luz dramática y sobrecompensadora, reposaba la Copa del Eterno ___________. Exacto. Faltaba el nombre. El espacio en blanco brillaba, esperando que alguien lo definiera: una copa moldeada por la intención, por la necesidad, por el propio deseo del bebedor. Y Artemisa sabía que eso era un problema. “Esto”, dijo, mirándolo, “es exactamente cómo Brenda terminó convocando a la mitad inferior de su ex para que se uniera a su nuevo prometido”. La habitación vibró cuando una figura emergió de entre las sombras. Alta, con capa y una sonrisa que podría cuajar la leche de cabra: *Thistlebone el Implacable*, su antigua compañera de clase y su eterno fastidio mágico. —Elmira —dijo suavemente—, llegas tarde. "Sigues usando delineador de ojos como si fuera 1479", replicó ella. Se burló. "Vine por la copa". —¡Qué bien! Entonces podemos pelear como antes. Tú monólogo, yo descaro, algo explota. ¿Empezamos? Dieron vueltas. Los bastones crujieron. Las pociones hirvieron. Los insultos volaron con precisión mortal. Él invocó el fuego. Ella invocó el sarcasmo. Él lanzó ilusiones. Ella las disipó con una mirada que decía: «Vaya, he creado mejores hechizos en mi axila». Entonces cometió un error fatal: intentó llamarla “querida”. El aire se densificó. La taza, aún sujeta a su cinturón, silbó como una tetera antes de la guerra. La levantó, susurró una vieja palabra —una que solo se decía en los funerales o en la temporada de impuestos— y le arrojó el contenido directamente a la cara. Él gritó: "¿QUÉ FUE ESO?" Mi tercera taza de té del lunes por la mañana. Hecha con venganza. Infundida con verdades. Hervida en arrepentimiento. Empezó a encogerse. Se le caía el pelo. Las túnicas se desinflaban. Hasta que solo quedó un pequeño tritón gruñón con delineador de ojos. Lo recogió, lo metió en un frasco de cristal y le puso una pegatina que decía: *"No alimentar al narcisista".* Ya sola, se acercó de nuevo a la taza. Latía. El vacío brilló una vez más: “¿Copa de la Eterna __________?” Se quedó mirando. Pensó. Suspiró. Luego se rió entre dientes. «¡Caramba! ¿Por qué no?». Ella pronunció una sola palabra: “Paz”. La taza brillaba. Cálida. Suave. El tipo de resplandor que le recordaba mantas suaves, pan fresco y una tarde donde nada ni nadie la necesitaba para salvar el mundo o cuidar el destino. Lo recogió. No hubo truenos. No hubo una explosión de energía. Solo una calidez que le recorrió los huesos como el recuerdo de la risa de alguien que ya no estaba. Bajar de la torre fue más fácil. Era curioso cómo la claridad pesaba menos que el miedo. El pantano también pareció abrirse para su regreso, o quizás solo temía otro incidente con la taza salpicada. La esfinge había desaparecido; un rastro de escarcha se adentraba en los árboles. En casa, la chimenea estaba cálida, la silla, indulgente, y el té, recién hecho y encantado. Colocó la taza en la repisa de la chimenea, junto a una foto de sí misma de joven: sonriendo con sorna, con la mirada perdida y sosteniendo un duende en una llave de cabeza. Levantó la taza a modo de saludo. “Aún lo tienes, vieja.” La ventana se abrió con un crujido. Una brisa se coló. En algún lugar, un cuervo dejó caer un pergamino con la inscripción «URGENTE: ¡Próxima profecía!». Ella lo atrapó. Lo usó para encender una vela. Bebió su té. Y sonrió, porque por fin lo entendió: la paz no era algo que se esperaba. Era algo que se reclamaba. Aunque tuvieras que maldecir a uno o dos bastardos por el camino. Trae un poco de la magia de la artemisa a tu reino Si has caído bajo el hechizo de Madame Artemisa y sus gloriosos rituales gruñones, ahora puedes traer un trocito de su mundo mágico al tuyo. Ya sea acurrucándote bajo una manta de lana impregnada de sabiduría brujeril , recostando la espalda con un cojín con un encanto sarcástico y a cuadros , o tomando un té mientras contemplas una impresión en lienzo o metal que irradia descaro místico, encontrarás algo que se adapte a tu estilo. Incluso puedes enviarle un poco de su sarcasmo a un amigo con una tarjeta de felicitación digna de lo más extraño y maravilloso. Cada artículo está elaborado para capturar la profundidad, el humor y el encanto reconfortante de este legendario momento matutino, perfecto para brujas, mujeres sabias y almas buenas y caóticas de todo el mundo.

Seguir leyendo

Queen of the Gossamer Hive

por Bill Tiepelman

Reina de la colmena Gossamer

El zumbido Empezó un martes, lo cual ya resultaba sospechoso. Los martes suelen sentirse como lunes con ropa más barata, y este tenía una vibra particularmente extraña, como si la realidad se estuviera poniendo al revés. Desmond Flarrow, apicultor de modales apacibles y barítono semi-retirado, estaba hundido hasta los tobillos en trébol, admirando su colmena y bebiendo un termo tibio de ginebra de manzanilla. Era su ritual diario: observar a las abejas, murmurar algo poético, luego entrar y fingir que escribía una novela. Pero hoy, algo... zumbaba. No solo el zumbido habitual de las abejas, sino una vibración rica y armónica que relucía en el aire como un coro de diapasones cantando en latín. El trébol se mecía como si manos invisibles le hicieran cosquillas, y el cielo... ¿era eso brillo? Del corazón de la Colmena 7, aquella que Desmond siempre sospechó que era un pequeño "extra", surgió un destello de luz dorada y cobalto. La parte superior de la colmena se desprendió como un corcho de champán, liberando un aroma entre trueno de caramelo y antiguo libro de hechizos. Entonces, del interior brumoso, emergió ella ... No era una abeja reina. Era la Reina. La madre del zumbido. La emperatriz emplumada del néctar. Flotaba a metro y medio de altura, con las alas vibrando con precisión de encaje, su pelaje era un tapiz de terciopelo de naranja quemado, turquesa y secretos. Ojos como gemas de medianoche. Era mitad insecto, mitad divina declaración de moda, y se suponía que no era real. "Hola, Desmond", dijo, con una voz que sonaba como campanas de viento en un espectáculo burlesco. "Soy la Reina Aurelia. Tenemos trabajo que hacer". Desmond, para su crédito, solo derramó la mitad de su ginebra. Antes de que pudiera preguntar cómo o por qué una abeja le hablaba —y lo hacía con más carisma que la mayoría de los alcaldes— la Reina Aurelia extendió un ala, trazó un círculo en el aire y abrió un portal brillante hecho enteramente de patrones de panal y luz eléctrica mandarina. "Has sido elegido", dijo. "No eres solo un apicultor, Desmond. Eres el Guardián del Néctar Antiguo". "¿Y ahora qué?", ​​balbuceó, sintiendo ya la atracción del portal. Sus pies se despegaron del suelo como si la hierba hubiera cedido a la gravedad. Flotó hacia la abertura, con el termo de ginebra aún aferrado en una mano temblorosa. "Pronto lo entenderás", ronroneó. "Pero por ahora, agárrate fuerte. Vamos a traspasar el velo. Y hay un ciempiés burocrático que me debe un favor". Y con eso, desaparecieron en el vórtice brillante, dejando solo un parche de trébol quemado y una ardilla muy confundida atrás. La burocracia del Nectarverso y la danza de los siete aguijones Desmond aterrizó no con un golpe sordo, sino con el desconcertante chapoteo de un sofá de hongos. El reino a su alrededor latía con una luz tenue y susurraba en seis dialectos de la abeja. Estaba dentro del Nectarverso , una dimensión oculta a medio camino entre la lógica onírica, la improvisación de jazz y el interior de un huevo de Fabergé. Todo brillaba, pero también olía ligeramente a pimentón ahumado y arrepentimiento. La reina Aurelia revoloteaba a su lado, irradiando confianza y majestuosidad feromonal. «Bienvenido a Apis Central», declaró. «La capital del multirreino polinizador». "Hace... una humedad extraña", murmuró Desmond, quitándose del hombro una pequeña constelación de escarabajos brillantes. Uno de ellos le hizo un pequeño gesto de aprobación con el pulgar. Más tarde descubriría que se trataba de un gesto político, y que sin querer se había comprometido a patrocinar una campaña electoral de escarabajos peloteros. Los recibió un lacayo: un ciempiés con chaleco y un monóculo en cada uno de sus primeros ocho ojos. «Su Majestad la Reina Aurelia, Soberana de la Luz del Polen, Duquesa del Polvo de Diente de León y Guardiana del Zumbido Prohibido», entonó. «Y... invitado». Desmond saludó tímidamente. «Hola. Solo estoy aquí para el viaje, de verdad». La reina Aurelia ignoró las formalidades. «Necesitamos un pase a las Cortes Florecientes. La Reina de las Avispas está despertando de nuevo». El ciempiés olfateó y desplegó un pergamino más largo que una fiesta previa al partido. «Deberás presentar el Formulario Bee-17B, solicitar una audiencia con el Cónclave Floral y programar una auditoría de polen. Ah, y tu compañero humano debe someterse a la Prueba de los Siete Aguijones». La voz de Desmond se quebró. "Disculpe, ¿el qué?" Un enjambre de polillas muy educadas con esmoquin se lo llevó de inmediato, dejando a Aurelia atrás con el ciempiés y unas miradas diplomáticas impresionantemente tensas. Fue lanzado a un anfiteatro resplandeciente hecho de vidrio de cardo, que resonaba con murmullos de la antigua ley del polen. En el centro: un círculo de tronos con forma de pistilos de flores gigantes. En cada uno se sentaba un miembro del **Consejo de los Siete Aguijones**, envuelto en túnicas de polen, juzgando a todos con la intensidad que suele reservarse para drag queens e higienistas dentales. “¡Declara tu linaje de néctar!” ladró uno. —Eh... ¿Me gusta la miel en el té? —¡Inaceptable! —gritó otro—. ¡Realiza la Danza de los Siete Aguijones o te reclasificarán eternamente como Desechos Florales ! Desmond, que no era hombre de movimiento, se quedó mirando la brillante pista de baile. Comenzó la música: mitad tecno, mitad gospel. Un dron le pasó un leotardo brillante con lentejuelas que deletreaba "BUZZWORTHY" en seis idiomas. La elección era clara: bailar o morir. Lo que siguió fueron treinta y siete minutos de agitación cada vez más errática, giros interpretativos y una invocación accidental de un espíritu de tormenta de polen llamado Todd. La multitud rugió. El Consejo lloró. Un viejo caballero avispa susurró: «Tiene el néctar dentro». De vuelta en el vestíbulo de la locura fragante, la reina Aurelia estaba bebiendo néctar de un cáliz con forma de copa de martini con forma de tulipán cuando Desmond regresó, jadeante y ligeramente radiactivo. "¿Pasé?" graznó. —Ah, sí —dijo radiante—. No solo aprobaste, sino que ahora eres legalmente una entidad de media fama. Incluye seguro dental. Tras aclarar las tonterías burocráticas, Aurelia desplegó sus alas, proyectando deslumbrantes patrones de geometría sagrada por todo el reino. El aire vibraba de anticipación. «Ahora», dijo, «a las Cortes Florecientes. La Reina de las Avispas está planeando reescribir la Constitución Floral. Y necesito a alguien que pueda bailar hasta expulsarle el polen profano». Desmond parpadeó. "¿Quieres que baile otra vez ?" "Oh, cariño", sonrió, "recién estamos empezando". Y con eso, desaparecieron una vez más en un remolino de luz cromática, listos para enfrentar la conspiración, el caos y al menos un enfrentamiento de salón de baile que sería recordado en el folclore de las abejas durante los siglos venideros. 🛍️ Llévate un trocito de la colmena a casa Si aún te emociona la danza del destino de Desmond y la gloria dorada de la Reina Aurelia, ¿por qué no traer un poco de ese encanto a tu propio reino? Los lienzos de la Reina de la Colmena Gossamer capturan cada detalle luminoso, mientras que el tapiz convierte tu pared en un portal al mismísimo Nectarverso. Disfruta de tu propia bebida como una deidad semi-eufórica con una taza , acurrúcate con un cojín o presume de tu lealtad a la colmena con una bolsa de tela . Y sí, incluso hay una pegatina para quienes quieran darle a su portátil o diario un 86% más de realeza. ¡Que viva la emoción!

Seguir leyendo

Explore nuestros blogs, noticias y preguntas frecuentes

¿Sigues buscando algo?