by Bill Tiepelman
Sugarsweat Shenanigans of the Cookie That Lived
When a sugar-sweating gingerbread messiah awakens mid-frosting, he launches into a wildly unhinged quest through the kitchen—facing butter, flour, cats, and his own overconfidence in this hilariously chaotic holiday tale.
by Bill Tiepelman
Twinkle Scales and Holiday Tales
Snow had blanketed the forest in a thick, sparkling cover, the kind of snow that made you question every life decision leading up to a trek through it. In the middle of this wintry scene stood Marla, bundled in layers of wool and bad choices, staring at the most unexpected sight she had encountered all year: a tiny dragon, glittering like a Pinterest project gone wrong, sitting under a Christmas tree. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Marla muttered, tugging her scarf tighter against the biting wind. She had signed up for a peaceful winter hike, not whatever this magical nonsense was. The dragon, no larger than a house cat, looked up from its task of adorning the tree with ornaments. Its scales shimmered in hues of emerald, sapphire, and gold, reflecting the candlelight like an overachieving disco ball. With a dramatic flick of its tail, it placed a final ornament—a suspiciously gaudy one that looked like it belonged in the clearance bin—on a frosted branch and gave Marla a slow blink. That was when she noticed the tiny antlers on its head, as if someone had tried to cross a dragon with a reindeer. “Oh great, a magical creature with holiday cheer,” Marla said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Just what I needed to make this hike even weirder.” The dragon tilted its head and chirped—a sound somewhere between a kitten's meow and a squeaky door hinge. Then it picked up a crimson ornament, waddled toward her on its tiny clawed feet, and dropped the bauble at her boots. It looked up expectantly, wings fluttering slightly, as if to say, “Well? Are you going to help or just stand there being all grumpy?” Marla sighed. She wasn’t exactly known for her love of the holidays. Every December, she battled through the chaos of last-minute gift shopping, office parties that could only be endured with copious amounts of spiked eggnog, and her family’s annual “passive-aggressive charades” night. But this… this was something else entirely. And as much as she wanted to turn around and head back to the safety of her Netflix queue, the dragon’s big, watery eyes made her hesitate. “Fine,” she said, bending down to pick up the ornament. “But if this turns into some kind of weird Hallmark movie moment, I’m out.” The dragon chirped again, clearly pleased, and scampered back to the tree. Marla followed, grumbling under her breath about how her therapist was going to have a field day with this story. As she hung the ornament on an empty branch, she noticed the tree wasn’t just decorated with the usual tinsel and baubles. Among the branches were tiny golden scrolls, clusters of mistletoe that shimmered as if dusted with real stardust, and candles that burned without melting. It was, frankly, absurd. “You’ve really committed to this theme, huh?” Marla said, glancing at the dragon. “What’s next, a tiny Santa suit?” The dragon huffed, a puff of glittering smoke escaping its nostrils, and went back to rummaging through a pile of ornaments that had mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. It pulled out a miniature star, which Marla suspected was made of actual gold, and handed it to her. She placed it on the tree’s highest branch, earning a delighted trill from her new festive companion. “So, what’s the deal?” she asked, crossing her arms. “Are you some kind of Christmas mascot? An elf’s side hustle? Or am I hallucinating because I skipped breakfast?” The dragon didn’t answer, obviously, but it did do a little twirl that sent a flurry of snowflakes into the air. Marla couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright, fine. I guess you’re kind of cute, in a ‘magical chaos’ sort of way.” As they continued decorating, Marla felt her initial irritation melting away. There was something oddly therapeutic about hanging ornaments with a glittery dragon who had no concept of personal space but an undeniable enthusiasm for holiday aesthetics. By the time they finished, the tree looked like it belonged in a fantasy novel—or at least on the cover of a very expensive holiday card. “Okay,” Marla said, stepping back to admire their work. “Not bad for an impromptu partnership. But don’t expect me to—” Her words were cut off by the sound of jingling bells. She turned to see the dragon holding a string of tiny sleigh bells in its mouth, looking entirely too pleased with itself. Before she could protest, it launched into a clumsy but enthusiastic dance, shaking the bells and twirling around the tree. Marla laughed, a genuine, belly-deep laugh that she hadn’t experienced in months. “Alright, alright, you win,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “I’ll admit it—this is kind of fun.” As the sun dipped below the horizon, the tree began to glow softly, its ornaments casting a warm, magical light across the snowy clearing. Marla sat down next to the dragon, who curled up at her side with a contented chirp. For the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of peace—and maybe even a little holiday spirit. “You know,” she said, stroking the dragon’s shimmering scales, “I might actually survive Christmas this year. But if you tell anyone I got all sentimental over a magical dragon, I’ll deny it. Got it?” The dragon snorted, sending another puff of glittering smoke into the air, and closed its eyes. Marla leaned back, watching the stars emerge one by one in the winter sky, and let herself smile. Maybe, just maybe, this holiday season wouldn’t be so bad after all. Bring the Magic Home If you fell in love with this whimsical tale, why not bring a touch of the magic into your own home? "Twinkle Scales and Holiday Tales" is now available as a variety of stunning products to suit any space or occasion. Choose from the following options: Tapestries – Perfect for transforming any wall into a festive winter wonderland. Canvas Prints – Add an elegant touch to your décor with this magical scene. Puzzles – Bring some holiday cheer to family game night with this enchanting dragon design. Greeting Cards – Send a touch of whimsy and warmth to your loved ones this season. Explore these and more at our shop and celebrate the magic of the season in style!
by Bill Tiepelman
Grinchmas Glow: A Festive Heist
'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in the town, All the Who-humans snored with their screens powered down. No tweets, no TikToks, no reels full of fluff, Just silence—and houses with far too much stuff. But high in the hills, in his dank little cave, The Grinch in his onesie was plotting, quite brave. “Oh, these humans are hopeless,” he cackled with glee, “They're lazy and clueless—an easy mark for me!” His fluffy red Santa suit hugged his green gut, While his oversized hat perched atop his green butt. With a candy cane clenched in his mischievous grip, He hopped on his sleigh for his annual trip. Down, down he soared through the cold winter air, With a fart so explosive, it froze his own hair. “Damn that last burrito,” he grumbled and wheezed, “But tonight’s haul will make me feel properly pleased!” He landed his sled on a roof slick with ice, Then grumbled, “These humans should shovel. How nice!” He slipped and he slid, swore words quite obscene, Before plopping face-first into a vent duct unseen. Inside the first house, the Grinch struck a pose— A thief in his prime, from his head to his toes. The Christmas tree sparkled, the stockings were hung, And the air smelled of eggnog, old cheese, and dung. “What do we have here?” the Grinch whispered low, As he rummaged through stockings with gusto and glow. He pocketed candy, stole socks with a smirk, Then tiptoed to the kitchen to get down to work. On the counter he spied a plate full of treats— Cookies and whiskey! His favorite sweets! He scarfed down the snacks, licked his fingers with glee, And let out a burp that woke the family tree. The ornaments shook, the lights started blinking, But the Grinch didn’t stop—he kept right on drinking. “Cheers to myself!” he declared with a cheer, “These suckers won’t know I’ve been robbing them here!” He raided the fridge, he emptied the drawers, He snagged all the gifts and then some decor. The wreath from the door? Into his sack! The vacuum cleaner? “Sure, why not pack?” But then, as he grabbed a smartphone and drone, A strange little whir made him pause and postpone. For there on the floor, with its sensors aglow, A Roomba emerged, like a knight from the snow. “What’s this little beast?” sneered the Grinch, unimpressed. “A robot with wheels? How quaint. How suppressed.” But the Roomba zoomed forward, its motor on high, And the Grinch felt a jolt as it zipped ‘tween his thighs. “Oi! Stop that, you bastard!” the Grinch howled in pain, As the Roomba spun circles and charged him again. He tripped on the carpet, he slipped on the tree, And landed face-first by the family’s TV. “Enough!” cried the Grinch, but the Roomba whizzed by, Beeping and buzzing with vengeance nearby. It nudged at his sack, it tangled his feet, And the Grinch knew this gadget had him beat. He scrambled and stumbled, his sack left behind, As the Roomba pursued him with one thing in mind. Out through the door and onto the lawn, The Grinch fled the house like a thief at the dawn. Back to his sled he retreated, quite sore, With a bruised little ego and pride even more. “No loot for me tonight,” he muttered and spat, “All thanks to that robot—a pest in a hat!” Now back in his cave, with his plan gone awry, The Grinch sat and pondered, his candy cane dry. He stared at the whiskey he’d swiped from the shelf, And muttered, “Next year, I’ll just rob Santa himself.” So if you hear giggles this Christmas Eve night, It’s the Grinch in his onesie, recounting his plight. For though he’s still stealing, he learned one great moral: Never mess with a Roomba—it’s deadly, not floral. And so ends the tale of the Grinch’s defeat, A festive reminder: Don’t underestimate neat. Your gadgets may save you, your robots may rule, But never let burglars take you for a fool. This image, titled "Grinchmas Glow: A Festive Heist", is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Explore it further and bring the mischievous Grinch into your collection by visiting our Image Archive.
