cat

by Bill Tiepelman

Fluffageddon

The Awakening of Whiskerstein It began at precisely 6:42 AM in the quiet cul-de-sac of Puddlebrush Lane, a place so mundane it made toast look exotic. The sun had the nerve to rise, the neighborhood birds were chirping like caffeinated alarm clocks, and somewhere deep in the bowels of a split-level home with too many throw pillows, the beast stirred. Her name was Whiskerstein. Half Maine Coon, half demonized dust mop, and 100% chaos. She was not merely a cat — she was a deity of floof, a warrior of bed-hogging, a destroyer of unattended rotisserie chickens. And this morning, her fluff was fully activated. Whiskerstein’s human, Beverly, had made the grave mistake of switching to decaf. A betrayal of sacred trust. Whiskerstein had known something was off ever since the household energy dropped from mild anxiety to dead-inside-zen. The yells at the morning news became sighs. The power walks slowed. The houseplants were no longer being threatened with plastic surgery. “This ends today,” Whiskerstein muttered, though to the untrained ear it sounded like a half-yawn and a sneeze. Her fur bristled like she’d just stuck her paw in a socket. In truth, she'd only just stretched, but when you're 17 pounds of untamed tangerine fluff, even mild movement creates seismic events. She launched from the bookshelf — knocking over a framed photo of Beverly’s ex-husband and an ironic cross-stitch that read “Namaste, B*tch” — and galloped into the kitchen like a lion late for brunch. Beverly was there, already dressed in a questionable paisley robe and bunny slippers that had seen too much. She stood before the Keurig like a woman confronting the consequences of her life choices. Whiskerstein took one look at the green-labeled pod in her hand and hissed with righteous vengeance. DECAF. Again. For the third. Damn. Day. “Meow?” Beverly said, clueless as ever, popping the abomination into the machine. The soft *chhh-chhh* sound of the Keurig vomiting out defeat filled the room. Whiskerstein leapt onto the counter, tail flared, eyes wide, and delivered the ancient feline war cry that had once frightened Viking warriors and burned entire basil gardens to the ground. “MRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWWRRRR!!!” It was not a meow. It was a threat. A battle hymn. An espresso-summoning roar of legend. Beverly flinched, sending half a teaspoon of sadness-water sloshing onto the counter. “Jesus, Whiskers! What is your damage?” But the damage had already been done. The summoning had begun. Something stirred in the pantry. Something forbidden. Something caffeinated. From the shadows behind the emergency Pop-Tarts emerged a glow... the glint of a sealed glass jar. A forgotten relic from the Before Times. A thing of power, sealed for its own protection... and everyone else's. Dark Roast. Whole Bean. Italian. Imported. Aged like vengeance. Smooth as sin. And smelling faintly of a mafia confession. Whiskerstein narrowed her eyes. “It begins.” The Sacred Brew and the Legend of the Steamed Milk Saboteur The pantry door creaked open with the slow, dramatic flair of a horror movie climax — or possibly a budget home renovation show. Beverly blinked twice. Her decaf trembled in its novelty mug (“It’s Called Self-Care, Sharon”), as if the universe itself knew it was about to become irrelevant. Whiskerstein moved like a feline possessed, tail whipping with the kind of drama that would get her cast on Real Housewives of Purrlandia. She leapt from the counter, landed with a thunderous floof on the kitchen floor, and strutted into the pantry like she owned a yacht and your retirement plan. Her mission? Retrieve the bean. The bean of destiny. But as every coffee warrior knows, the path to high-octane salvation is never easy. First came the security system: a toddler gate left behind by Beverly’s granddaughter six Christmases ago, still firmly wedged between pantry walls because no adult had the patience to remove it. Whiskerstein stared at it, insulted. “This,” she thought, “is beneath me.” One dainty leap later, the beast was inside. Amongst the crinkling of snack bags and dusty corn syrup horrors of yesteryear, the jar stood like an idol on the top shelf. Whiskerstein climbed with silent ferocity, knocking aside a bag of ancient quinoa and a single rogue Peeps marshmallow that had turned to concrete and gained sentience. She reached the jar. The Holy Bean. With one calculated paw-swipe, it crashed to the floor like divine intervention. Beverly screamed. Somewhere in a distant galaxy, a hipster barista felt a disturbance in the crema. “WHISKERSTEIN, I SWEAR TO—” Beverly sputtered, catching her robe on a drawer handle as she dove for the wreckage. The jar didn’t break. It bounced. Because Beverly bought expensive crap that never worked when you needed it, but somehow survived everything else. The scent hit them both at once. That rich, dark, oily aroma — like sin, smoke, and an Italian grandmother’s side-eye all rolled into one. Beverly froze. Her pupils dilated. Her mouth twitched into a crooked grin. “...Is that... Lavazza?” Whiskerstein didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. They had both remembered what it was like. Before the decaf. Before the depression. Before that shady holistic guru on TikTok convinced Bev to do a ‘caffeine cleanse’ that was really just a low-grade personality lobotomy. “Oh baby, mama’s back,” Beverly whispered, snatching the beans with a hunger that bordered on the erotic. Thus began the ritual. She dusted off the French press like a weapon pulled from storage in a cheesy action movie montage. She measured the grind by feel alone, eyes wide with glee. She boiled water in her electric kettle like it was 1997 and she still had dreams. Whiskerstein perched on the counter, tail curled like a sinister mustache, observing with approval. But her joy was short-lived. Because the moment Beverly reached for the milk, things took a turn. “Oat milk?” Bev said aloud, puzzled. “Who the hell bought oat mi—” A cold wind blew through the kitchen. The lights flickered. Somewhere in the distance, a sinister hiss echoed through the air vents. Whiskerstein’s ears flattened. Her claws extended. The Steamed Milk Saboteur was near. Whiskerstein leapt into action just as a figure materialized at the end of the hallway — shadowy, thin, with yoga pants and an aura of smugness. Beverly’s neighbor, Kendra. Self-proclaimed life coach. Oat milk evangelist. Personal trainer to the morally exhausted. “Oh! Hey, Bev!” she chirped, letting herself in with the spare key hidden inside the fake rock everyone knew wasn’t real. “I just came by to see if you still had the sustainable bamboo pour-over I lent you during Mercury retrograde!” Whiskerstein snarled. Beverly blinked. “Kendra, what the hell are you doing in my kitchen? And why do you smell like patchouli and gym regret?” “You’re welcome for the oat milk,” Kendra said, placing a hand over her heart as if she'd just blessed a newborn. “It’s anti-inflammatory and energetically aligned with the waning moon.” Whiskerstein, who had once violently mauled a ficus for lesser offenses, sprang from the counter, knocking the oat milk out of Kendra’s hands and into the sink with one glorious, slow-motion arc. A splash. A scream. A moment of triumph. “I don’t drink plant milk, Kendra!” Beverly bellowed. “And I don’t need your chakra-aligned barista witchcraft!” Whiskerstein landed triumphantly on the Keurig, which groaned under her weight before promptly short-circuiting and hissing out its final breath like a dying Roomba. Sparks flew. Kendra screamed again. Somewhere outside, a squirrel dropped its acorn and ran for cover. The coffee was ready. Beverly poured the dark nectar into her “World’s Okayest Aunt” mug, ignoring the shattered oat milk, the fried Keurig, and the spiritually wounded Kendra curled up next to the fridge clutching her kombucha. She took a sip. A long, indulgent, chest-warming sip. Her eyes closed. The kitchen fell silent. Then Beverly opened her eyes and said, with holy conviction: “I’m going to HomeGoods, and I’m buying throw pillows I don’t need and talking shit to the cashier. I’m back, baby.” Whiskerstein purred, the low rumble of ancient satisfaction. But deep down, she knew this was just the beginning. Operation Beanstorm — The Final Brewdown Two hours later, the whole block was vibrating with fresh-roasted chaos. Beverly — once a soft-spoken cardigan connoisseur with a fondness for lukewarm regrets — had become a caffeinated hurricane in orthopedic sandals. With the power of full-caf coursing through her veins, she was no longer just “the lady who feeds squirrels Doritos.” She was Beverly Prime, First of Her Name, Destroyer of Decaf, Queen of Passive-Aggressive Bake Sales, and Mother of Feral Cats Who Do Not Pay Rent. And behind every queen stands a queenmaker: Whiskerstein. Now seated atop a reclaimed wood wine rack like a furry gargoyle of judgment, she surveyed her kingdom through narrowed eyes and twitching whiskers. The house pulsed with new energy. The “Live, Laugh, Love” sign had been replaced with a neon pink wall decal that simply read, “Die Mad About It.” The thermostat had been bumped to 75 because Whiskerstein demanded it. And somewhere in the background, a playlist titled Espresso Yourself, B*tch blared Lizzo remixes loud enough to piss off three homeowners associations. But just as Beverly prepared to post her triumphant coffee-fueled rant on Facebook (“Tag someone who needs a real drink”), the doorbell rang. Three times. Sharp. Repetitive. Ominous. Whiskerstein froze mid-groom, one paw still raised like a furry little fist. Her ears twitched. Beverly paused mid-mug lift. The air thickened with espresso-scented tension. “Not now,” Beverly whispered. “Not when the crema is perfect.” She padded toward the door, coffee in hand, bathrobe trailing behind like a cape of bad decisions. She opened it slowly — and was greeted by a squadron of concerned neighborhood women in color-coordinated athleisure, carrying clipboards, tote bags, and an overwhelming air of condescension. The HOA. “Good morning, Beverly,” chirped Judith, the neighborhood’s Supreme Gatekeeper of Petty. Her eyebrows were plucked so high they practically formed quotation marks. “We heard… noises. And smells. Is everything… okay?” Behind her stood Debbie (weaponized Tupperware and zero joy), Carol (certified herb judge at the county fair), and Linda (who had once called the cops on a flamingo lawn ornament because it was “too tropical”). “You’re gonna need to be more specific,” Beverly said flatly, sipping her brew without breaking eye contact. Whiskerstein silently appeared behind her, like a furry death omen in slow motion, tail flicking with disdain. Judith sniffed. “There have been... complaints.” “About what? My new playlist? My cat’s spiritual journey? Or the fact that I exist outside the vacuum of your beige expectations?” Debbie stepped forward. “We noticed the destruction of your Keurig, and someone — Kendra — reported what she called ‘a hostile oat milk incident.’ We are concerned for your wellbeing and the moral energy of the block.” Beverly chuckled darkly. “The Keurig was a casualty of war. Oat milk was the first shot fired.” “You seem… unwell,” Judith offered. “There’s a chakra retreat coming up. It’s goat-led.” Whiskerstein made a noise so guttural it could only be translated as, “Touch my human again and your chakras are going to need dental work.” Beverly straightened her spine. “Listen carefully, Judy Juice Cleanse. I’ve spent the last five years nodding politely at your seasonal wreaths, pretending to give a crap about your zucchini bread, and pretending I don’t know that your husband Gary buys his weed from your son's drama teacher. But no more. I am caffeinated, motivated, and no longer medicated.” She took a long sip. “So unless you have something useful to contribute — like real sugar, sarcasm, or a second cup — you may kindly take your coordinated oppression and go doorbell ding-dong someone else’s sanity.” Judith gasped. Carol dropped her essential oil sample. Linda clutched her pearls — not metaphorically, but literally. The HOA turned as one, murmuring furiously, and disappeared down the walkway like a parade of wounded mallards. Whiskerstein meowed once. It echoed with finality. Inside, Beverly spun on her heel, mug raised high. “Come, my furry overlord,” she declared. “The coffee flows. The cowards retreat. And there’s an espresso martini recipe on Pinterest that requires... experimenting.” They returned to the kitchen in glory. But something in the air had shifted. The battle was won. The bean reclaimed. The fluff triumphant. And so Whiskerstein, Hero of the Brew, curled atop the microwave and drifted into a victorious nap. Her paws twitched. Her tail flicked. In her dreams, she flew above a field of decaf drinkers, raining down truth bombs and fur. The legend of Fluffageddon would live on — told in whispers, in baristas' nightmares, in the faint, lingering scent of burnt oat milk and broken expectations. And every time someone says, “I’ll just have tea,” a chill runs through the air... and somewhere, a certain ginger cat prepares for battle once more. The End.     If you're still trembling from the sheer force of Whiskerstein's caffeine-fueled reign of terror, fear not — you can now wrap yourself in the aftermath. Bring home a piece of the pandemonium with the Fluffageddon Throw Pillow — perfect for dramatic sighing and passive-aggressive lounging. Or maybe you’d prefer to hide from your HOA beneath the comforting rebellion of the Fleece Blanket, saturated in attitude and cat hair (metaphorically). Need to carry your sass to the streets? Grab the Fluffageddon Tote Bag, roomy enough for your coffee beans, sarcasm, and zero f*cks. Sending a warning to your decaf-loving friends? We’ve got you covered with an epic greeting card that'll make them rethink their beverage choices. And of course, the pièce de résistance: an archival canvas print worthy of hanging in the halls of caffeinated royalty. Honor the fluff. Worship the bean. Hang the legend. #FluffageddonLives

by Bill Tiepelman

Whiskers at the Witching Window

The Familiar's Complaint “If one more squirrel insults me from the holly bush, I swear to Bast I’ll torch the tree.” The orange tabby was muttering again. His name—though few dared use it aloud—was Bartholomew R.J. Whiskerstein, Esquire. He was the third Familiar to serve at No. 13 Embercurl Lane, a mystical townhouse wedged between dimensions, where the mail arrived only when Mercury was in retrograde and the curtains had a mind of their own. Bartholomew’s ears twitched as he sat perched on the ledge of the violet-paned window. Beneath him bloomed a plush carpet of enchanted lavender that hissed faintly if plucked without permission. Behind him, thick velvet curtains danced without breeze—tracing glowing sigils in the air like lazy lightning bugs scribbling curses in cursive. Inside the townhouse, chaos hummed in that pleasant, distant way only mild sorcery can. There was the sound of a teapot making demands. A stack of grimoire pages trying to unionize. And, somewhere in the study, the soft weeping of a sentient lamp contemplating its existence. Bartholomew ignored all of this. Because Bartholomew had a job. A highly specific job. A job that came with perks (a bottomless dish of roasted chicken hearts) and perils (being regularly used as a scrying lens by a witch who still hadn’t mastered “consent”). He was the Official Perimeter Watcher, Guardian of Thresholds, and—unofficially—the only housemate with the balls to tell Madam Zephira that her black lace corsets were clashing with her aura again. Tonight, however, the swirls in the stucco glowed brighter than usual. Their fractal curls pulsed like molten gold veins across the obsidian walls, marking the hour as not quite midnight and definitely up to something. And Bartholomew, with his one crooked whisker and eyes the color of guilty marmalade, knew the signs. Someone was coming. And not the kind who wore boots or knocked politely or brought salmon. Someone uninvited. With a tail twitch of annoyance and a small sneeze into the lavender blooms (they smelled amazing but were absolute bastards to his sinuses), Bartholomew straightened his spine, narrowed his gaze, and did what any respectable magical creature would do in his position. He farted dramatically, just to establish dominance. The wall beside him hissed in response. “Oh please,” he purred into the growing glow. “If you’re here to devour souls, at least bring a snack.” Zephira, Doomscrolling, and the Visitor from the Slant Madam Zephira Marrowvale was elbow-deep in her spellbook, though not for anything productive. She was doomscrolling. To be fair, the grimoire had recently updated its interface, and now it mimicked the layout of a social media feed—an unfortunate side effect of Zephira’s habit of whispering her thoughts to her mirror while the Wi-Fi was unstable. As such, instead of recipes for lunar elixirs or hexes for passive-aggressive neighbors, the leather-bound tome now served up endless gossip from disembodied witches across the astral plane. “Ugh,” Zephira groaned. “Another thirst trap from Hagatha Moonbroom. That’s the third this week. No one needs to see that much thigh from a lich.” Bartholomew, having returned from his window post only to find his warning hisses entirely ignored, slunk into the main room, tail held at a judgmental tilt. “You do realize,” he said with that slow, deliberate tone cats use when they know you’re not paying attention, “that there’s a potential rift forming in the wall?” Zephira didn’t look up. “Is it the laundry wall or the library wall?” “The front wall.” “Oh.” She blinked. “That’s... more important, isn’t it?” “Only if you enjoy the concept of interior dimensions staying on the inside,” Bartholomew replied, now licking one paw in a manner that suggested this was all terribly beneath him. With a sigh and a dramatic flourish, Zephira stood up, her long coat rustling like parchment paper dipped in attitude. The air around her shimmered with leftover magic: sparkles, ash, and the faint smell of peppermint schnapps. She stomped toward the window where Bartholomew had resumed his watch, this time sitting like a disappointed statue made entirely of orange velvet. Outside, the night was beginning to change. Not just darken—but change. The swirling glow around the window had thickened, threads of molten amber knotting and curving like someone had spilled calligraphy ink into firelight and pressed it to the walls of reality. Then—something knocked. Or maybe it burped. Or maybe the universe coughed up a hairball. Either way, the sound was wrong. “That’s not good,” Zephira whispered, suddenly sober. “That’s... from the Slant.” Bartholomew’s ears flattened. The Slant was a bad neighborhood between planes. It was where lost socks went. Where contracts rewrote themselves. Where things that weren’t supposed to feel shame hung out just to enjoy the sensation. No one invited guests from the Slant. Mostly because if you could invite them, it meant you were already partly one of them. The knock-burp-hiccup came again. “Do you think it’s after you or me?” Zephira asked, half-hoping it would be Bartholomew. He was, after all, technically immortal and less emotionally fragile. “Neither,” he said, fur bristling. “It’s here for the window.” “Why the hell would anyone come for a window?” “Because,” Bartholomew said, leaping down into a stretch that made every vertebrae in his body crackle like a haunted fireplace, “this particular window is a passage. A junction between realms. A former portal to the Celestial DMV. You really should keep better notes.” Zephira’s mouth fell open. “I thought this window had weird feng shui.” Before either of them could speak again, the glass began to bend inward—not break, not shatter—bend, like it was made of smoke or jelly or poorly explained plot devices. The lavender beneath the sill rustled and puffed in protest, releasing sparkles and spores that smelled strongly of sassafras and minor regret. From the swirling gold, a face emerged. Not a full face. Just... parts. An eye here, a suggestion of a grin there. And—strangest of all—a monocle made of static electricity. It was a face both beautiful and terrible, like a Greek god who also did your taxes and wasn’t happy about your deductions. “HOUSE OCCUPANTS,” the entity intoned, its voice vibrating the curtains into curls. Bartholomew leapt back onto the sill and squared his shoulders. “What in the unholy name of wet kibble do you want?” The face pulsed, amused. “I AM THE INSPECTOR OF INTERPLANE THRESHOLDS. THIS UNIT—” “This house, darling,” Zephira corrected, arms crossed. “—THIS UNIT IS IN VIOLATION OF CODE 776-B: UNSANCTIONED ENCHANTMENT OF ARCHITECTURAL OPENINGS.” Zephira raised an eyebrow. “So you’re telling me I have a... magical zoning issue?” Bartholomew hissed. “He’s here to repo the window.” The entity blinked. “YES.” For a moment, no one spoke. Then Zephira reached down, plucked Bartholomew off the sill, and cradled him like a particularly judgmental baguette. “Listen here, Spectral Bureaucrat,” she said, raising her chin, “this window is original to the house. Hand-framed by a sentient carpenter who charged us in riddles. It’s mine. Mine!” The inspector swirled ominously, then paused. “HAVE YOU FILED FORM 13-WHISKER?” Zephira blinked. “...There’s a form?” Bartholomew groaned. “Of course there’s a form.” The face began to phase back into the wall. “I SHALL RETURN AT MOONRISE TO SEIZE THE STRUCTURAL COMPONENT UNLESS PROPER PAPERWORK IS PRODUCED. PREFERABLY WITH A NOTARY’S SIGIL AND A RUNE OF COMPLIANCE.” Then—poof. Gone. Only a light sprinkle of bureaucracy sparkles remained in the air, which smelled like cinnamon and mild passive aggression. Zephira looked down at Bartholomew. “Well... now what?” “Now?” he said, wriggling out of her arms. “Now we commit minor fraud and probably summon your cousin from the Ministry of Misfiled Souls.” “Ugh. Thistle? She still owes me twenty moons and a jar of pickled griffin toes.” “Then I suggest you bring snacks,” Bartholomew said, already walking away. “And don’t wear the lace. It makes your aura look bloated.” Loopholes, Lavender, and Larceny The clock struck something. Probably not midnight, because this particular clock refused to engage with time in a linear fashion. It preferred vibes. Tonight, it struck “tense-but-optimistic,” which was either promising or deeply concerning. Bartholomew was back at the window, tail twitching like a metronome set to sarcasm. The lavender beneath him had sprouted extra blossoms during the argument with the inspector, clearly energized by the conflict. They whispered quietly to themselves about how juicy everything was getting. Inside the house, Zephira was hunched over a cluttered desk, surrounded by scrolls, spell-stamped forms, and at least two empty wine bottles (one real, one conjured). She’d summoned her cousin Thistle for help, which was like hiring a tax attorney who specialized in interpretive dance. “You don’t file the 13-Whisker form,” Thistle was explaining, twirling a quill that occasionally bit her fingers. “You embed it into a sub-layer of your home’s aura, with a notarized dream. Honestly, Zeph, everyone knows that.” “Everyone?” Zephira asked, face planted in a stack of parchment. “You mean everyone who majored in Arcane Bureaucracy and enjoys licking stamps made of beetle shells?” Thistle shrugged, looking very pleased with herself in a cardigan made of disappointment and sequins. “I got mine done during a blackout after a cursed fondue party. You’ve had years.” Bartholomew, overhearing this, let out a sound that was somewhere between a meow and a groan. “You two do realize the Inspector’s coming back tonight, right? I’m not in the mood to explain to the dimensional authorities why a ginger tabby is living inside a legally extradimensional portal with noncompliant trim.” Zephira stood up, eyes glowing faintly with a mix of hope and sleep deprivation. “We have one chance. If we can disguise the window’s threshold signature—just until the next lunar quarter—we can delay the repossession. Thistle, get the dreamcatcher chalk. Bart, start projecting non-threatening thoughtforms. I need plausible deniability on the astral field.” “Excuse you,” Bartholomew sniffed. “I’ve been projecting non-threatening thoughtforms since I was neutered.” The house groaned in agreement, shifting its weight as spells realigned themselves. The curtains flattened. The furniture arranged itself into Feng Shui legal compliance. The dishes washed themselves in a frenzy of sudsy paranoia. Just as the finishing rune was inscribed around the window frame—using chalk blessed by three caffeine-addled dreamwalkers and one heavily sedated owl—the wall glowed again. He was back. The Inspector oozed into existence like molasses with a law degree. “OCCUPANTS,” it bellowed, less intense this time. “I RETURN FOR—” “Hold it,” Zephira interrupted, stepping forward like a woman who had absolutely not just spilled gin on an ancient document of exemption. “Please review Form 13-WHISKER, Subsection D, filed under the Implied Entanglement Clause, certified via mnemonic binding and signed by my Familiar’s third eyelash.” She held up a glittering sigil embossed into a strip of lavender parchment that reeked of legitimacy. Mostly because it was actually a forged wedding license from a dryad and a toaster, re-enchanted by Thistle with mild deception runes and a scent of “forest confidence.” The Inspector pulsed. Blinked. Spun slowly. “THIS... DOES APPEAR TO BE... ACCEPTABLE.” “Then kindly sod off into your dimension’s nearest cubicle farm,” Bartholomew purred, eyes half-lidded. “Before we file a Form 99-B for harassment under Rule of Familiar Dignity.” The Inspector paused. “THOSE STILL EXIST?” “They do if you’ve got a cousin in the Ministry,” Thistle said sweetly, batting her eyes and sipping something from a mug that steamed in Morse code. The glow faded. The swirling tendrils dimmed. The monocle flickered, sighed, and finally vanished like a disappointed dad at a community theatre recital. The Inspector was gone. Zephira slumped against the wall, lavender chalk crumbling in her fist. “We did it.” “We barely did it,” Bartholomew corrected, stretching luxuriously. “You owe me an entire week of scrying-free naps and the good sardines.” “Done,” Zephira said, kissing his furry forehead. “And no corsets for at least a lunar cycle.” “Blessed be,” Thistle whispered, throwing a little confetti made of shredded legal scrolls into the air. Outside, the window returned to its quiet glow. The lavender purred. The swirls of gold settled into elegant curves again—less frantic now, more decorative. Like they were proud of themselves. Like they, too, were in on the joke. Bartholomew returned to his perch, curling up with a satisfied grunt. He blinked once at the stars. “Let ‘em try,” he muttered. “This house is defended by sarcasm and sleep deprivation. We’ll never be conquered.” And as the first rays of false dawn peeked through the enchanted sky, the cat on the sill slept—dreaming, no doubt, of squirrels who finally shut their damn mouths.     Take a Little Magic Home If you felt the curl of mystery or heard the whisper of lavender while reading Whiskers at the Witching Window, you’re not alone. Now you can bring a piece of Bartholomew’s world into your own with a selection of enchanted keepsakes featuring this very scene. Cozy up with the fleece blanket for a nap worthy of a Familiar, or rest your dreams beneath the swirling gold with our duvet cover. Need a bit of sass on the go? The tote bag has your back—whether you're transporting spell ingredients or snacks. And for those seeking a bold statement of aesthetic rebellion, the framed art print is a portal unto itself, ready to hang in any room that dares to flirt with the arcane. Each item is available exclusively at shop.unfocussed.com, where fantasy meets home decor in purring, glowing, ginger-furred defiance.

by Bill Tiepelman

Fluff & Flutter

A Noseful of Chaos In the land of Flitterwhump, where dandelions danced to jazz and tea kettles gossiped at dusk, there lived a kitten named Toodles. Yes, Toodles. Don’t judge. Her full name was “Lady Toodlewump Fluffington III,” but after one too many hairballs during her cotillion, the name sort of... stuck. And frankly, if you’re a silver-dappled feline with glacial blue eyes and a tail so fluffy it required its own postcode, you learn to own your weirdness. Toodles had one rule: never trust anything with wings and an agenda. This was a rule born from a childhood incident involving a hummingbird, three spoiled sardines, and an accidental eyebrow singe. But today, that rule would be tested. Mercilessly. It started innocently enough. Toodles had just finished her daily glamour stretch—a high-arched back extension so glorious it once made a potted plant faint—and was in the process of delicately judging the neighborhood from the windowsill. That’s when it happened. A Monarch butterfly, drunk on pollen and audacity, landed square on her nose. The room froze. Somewhere, a spoon dropped. In the distance, a squirrel gasped. Toodles went cross-eyed, which, unfortunately, made her look like an emotionally unstable plush toy. She blinked. The butterfly blinked. (It didn’t, but Toodles swore it did, and frankly, her perception was the only one that mattered.) “Excuse me,” she meowed with impeccable diction, “you are trespassing on sacred fluff. That nose was blessed by a hedgehog monk in the village of Sniffenshire.” The butterfly remained perched, wings fluttering like it had gossip to share and nowhere to be. Toodles panicked. She tried a gentle paw swat. The butterfly dodged and landed on her tail. Toodles spun around like a caffeinated ballerina and promptly toppled into her succulent collection, which screamed dramatically, because everything in Flitterwhump was over-the-top and plant life was no exception. By the time she emerged—covered in potting soil, bits of lavender, and one particularly aggressive cactus spike—the butterfly had returned to her nose. Again. “Oh it’s war now, wing goblin,” she muttered. “Toodles does not negotiate with chaos.” And that, dear reader, was how it began. A tale of flirtation, frustration, and a cat with too much pride to admit she was completely outwitted by an airborne postage stamp with legs. The Fluffening Escalates Toodles was not the sort of cat who tolerated defeat. She once spent three consecutive Tuesdays attempting to outstare a portrait of her great-aunt Darlene just because the mustache had been painted slightly askew. (She won, of course. The portrait fell off the wall and was last seen sobbing in a thrift store.) So, you can imagine the psychological unraveling when this butterfly—this winged noodle of deceit—refused to acknowledge Toodles' sovereign nasal domain. Now, in Flitterwhump, cats had options. They could petition the Council of Mildly Concerned Hedgehogs. They could hire a disgraced owl private investigator. They could even bribe a family of voles to create a series of decoy butterflies using glitter and misplaced ambition. Toodles chose vengeance by theater. The next morning, she prepared her stage: a velvet chaise lounge (stolen from a gnome divorcée), a tin of anchovy pâté (lightly truffled), and her dramatic flower crown fashioned from geraniums, rosemary, and one incredibly passive-aggressive dahlia. She posed on the chaise as if she were contemplating the futility of existence—or at least how dramatic she could look while holding in a sneeze. The butterfly returned right on cue. A diva always knows her spotlight. “Welcome back,” Toodles purred, tail twitching with restrained lunacy. “I see you’ve accepted my invitation to our duel of the fates.” Instead of engaging in mortal combat, the butterfly… danced. Not just any dance. It performed an aerial ballet so majestic, so fluid, it made the clouds pause to weep softly in applause. It looped around Toodles’ whiskers, spiraled through sunbeams like they were champagne bubbles, and ended with a dainty curtsy atop her left eyebrow. Toodles hated how impressed she was. “Fine,” she hissed, leaping up and flopping back down in an act of protest. “You’ve bested me in grace. But can you juggle?” She tossed three chestnuts into the air with her back paw. They landed on her head. The butterfly landed on one of them, smug as a librarian with a secret. “Ugh. Your face is like a warm breeze wrapped in smug marmalade,” she grumbled. “Are you even real?!” The butterfly flapped once, twice—and then, like all mystic creatures with a sense of timing more dramatic than a Regency widow, it spoke. Not with words. With vibes. With the tickle of truth behind the ears. With the knowing twinkle of a being that had seen interdimensional ferrets and survived. “I am Zephoria,” it seemed to hum through the pollen-swirled air. “Spirit of transformation, mistress of brief landings, and destroyer of personal space.” Toodles blinked. “Destroyer of—? You’re a space invader with a cute butt, that’s what you are.” Zephoria gave a wing shrug. “And yet here you are, talking to me instead of knocking me into your litter box.” “Only because I respect your audacity,” Toodles admitted, finally surrendering to the seductive power of nonsense. “And also because if I move again, I’ll sneeze out a whole tulip.” The butterfly chuckled, which sounded like tiny tambourines being tickled. “Perhaps,” Zephoria offered, “you’ve spent so long chasing away the unexpected, you’ve forgotten how to dance with it.” Toodles rolled her eyes so hard it triggered a minor windstorm. “Oh don’t start with the magical metaphors. Next thing I know, you’ll tell me I’m secretly a time-traveling cloud or some philosophical pastry.” Zephoria tilted her wings just so. “You’re not. But your tail might be.” The two stared at each other in absurd, slightly unhinged harmony. That evening, Toodles didn’t hiss at the bees. She didn’t growl at the moon. She did, however, invite Zephoria to perch on her head like a ludicrous fascinator, and together they paraded through the town square as if it were a runway covered in gossip and rhinestones. And thus began the great Flitterwhump Butterfly Incident of the Year—an event that would be whispered about by teacups and sung by slightly inebriated garden gnomes for generations to come. But that, dear reader, is the sugar-frosted cherry on the next ridiculous chapter. The Ballad of Toodles and the Winged Menace It all spiraled—no, pirouetted—out of control on the third day. By then, Zephoria the butterfly had become something of a local celebrity. Toodles, to her horror and reluctant pride, was now referred to in neighborhood gossip as “The Cat of Graceful Chaos.” Children threw her air kisses from balconies. The local ducks asked for autographs. One particularly ambitious squirrel began selling tiny velvet capes claiming they were “Toodles-Approved™.” (They were not.) “It’s like living inside a fairy tale,” Toodles complained, sprawled across a pouf made of retired sock puppets. “But one written by a raccoon who drinks glitter and screams about taxes.” Zephoria, meanwhile, was running a support group for underappreciated airborne insects in the garden gazebo. She held sessions twice daily under the title Wing Therapy: Finding Your Flap in a Rigid World. The ladybugs adored her. The bees were hesitant. The moths just kept trying to eat the pamphlets. But as the saying goes in Flitterwhump, “Fame’s a fickle ferret with frosting for morals.” Things got weird. And that’s saying something, considering this was a realm where hedgehogs had dental plans and most mirrors could quote Oscar Wilde. It began when a rival butterfly named Chadwick appeared. Chadwick was everything Zephoria wasn’t: muscular, broody, and annoyingly fond of leather vests. He flapped with menace. He hummed with mystery. He insisted on introducing himself with, “The name’s Chadwick. Just Chadwick. Like moonlight... but darker.” “What in the name of scented compost is that?” Toodles asked as Chadwick arrived on a Harley snail. “Did a romance novel fall into a vat of protein powder?” Zephoria, to her credit, tried diplomacy. “Welcome, Chadwick. Would you like to join our mindfulness circle and unpack your unresolved chrysalis trauma?” Chadwick scoffed. “Nah. I came to challenge you. And your floofy mount.” Toodles fluffed herself indignantly. “Excuse me?! I am not a mount. I am a legend. I have whiskers insured by the Ministry of Feline Drama.” “Exactly,” Chadwick said with a smirk. “Which makes this the perfect battlefield.” And just like that, the Flitterwhump Annual Wing-Off was declared. (There hadn’t been one before, but bureaucracy was very fast in this part of the world when drama was involved.) The rules? Simple. Two butterflies. One feline runway. A series of increasingly absurd challenges judged by a panel of semi-retired flamingos and one very cranky tortoise named Gary. Challenge One: The Loop-de-Flap. Chadwick went first, swooping through seven garden hoops while quoting existential poetry. Zephoria responded by spelling out the phrase “Consent is sexy” with her flight path. Toodles applauded. Challenge Two: The Wind Tunnel Waltz. Chadwick powered through, wings slicing the air like avocado toast through a millennial brunch. Zephoria pirouetted softly and dropped flower petals behind her like a slightly judgmental wedding fairy. Challenge Three: The Nose Stand. This one was personal. The butterflies had to perch on Toodles’ nose without tickling her into sneezing, flinching, or sass-shouting. Chadwick landed, puffed his thorax, and struck a pose. Toodles, unimpressed, let out a tiny fart. Chadwick fled in disgrace. Zephoria landed gracefully, offered a wink, and whispered, “Still not over that cactus, are we?” The crowd went feral. Gnomes threw tiny roses. A teacup sobbed. Someone passed out from delight. Gary the tortoise blinked for the first time in a decade. Victory was Zephoria’s. Toodles preened in the limelight, pretending she hadn’t just sneezed a tulip stem out her left nostril. But just when you thought the fluffstorm had passed, Zephoria turned to Toodles and said something that shattered the nonsense bubble entirely. “I’m leaving.” Toodles froze mid-paw-lick. “Come again?” “My work here is done,” Zephoria said gently. “You don’t need me to dance chaos into your world anymore. You’re doing it just fine on your own.” Toodles blinked. Her ears tilted in emotional confusion. “But who will keep me humble? Who will perch on my tail and make me question the nature of reality while insulting my eyeliner?” Zephoria flapped closer, brushing her wings against Toodles' cheek. “You have an entire world to flirt with, fuss at, and occasionally sit on. You’ll be fine. And besides, I heard there’s a philosophical bat colony up north in need of someone with wing charisma and a borderline unhinged moral compass.” And just like that, she flapped away—trailing sparkles, gossip, and a final note: "Toodles, you glorious fluffstorm, never let your nose be ruled by reason." Toodles stared into the sky long after Zephoria vanished into the clouds. Then, with dramatic purpose, she flopped backward into a bed of daisies, farted just a little, and whispered: “I was born to be confusing.” And the daisies nodded.     ✨ Take a Little Fluff & Flutter Home If the tale of Toodles and Zephoria tickled your whiskers, why not invite a piece of their whimsical world into yours? Whether you’re lounging like a fluff queen, sending giggles in the mail, or redecorating your magical lair, we’ve got you covered—literally. Wrap yourself in storytelling with this vibrant tapestry, or bring nature’s sass into your spa day with our ultra-charming bath towel. For those who like their art grounded and grainy, the wood print version offers a tactile, storybook feel with just a hint of nose-tickling nostalgia. And don’t forget the greeting card—perfect for sending fluttery vibes, random cat wisdom, or declarations of aesthetic superiority to your favorite fellow weirdos. Snag one, snag them all. Zephoria would approve (and Toodles would pretend she doesn’t care—but she absolutely does).

by Bill Tiepelman

The Split-Pawed Snorticorn

The Cursed Cupcake Incident In the heart of the Bewildering Wood — a place where reality tended to forget its pants — there lived a kitten named Fizzle. But not just any kitten. Fizzle was a chimera: half tabby, half cream puff, with a unicorn horn that glowed when he sneezed and tiny bat wings that flapped angrily when someone stole his snacks. Which, to be fair, was often. Because Fizzle had a very punchable face — adorable, yes, but the kind that just screamed “I licked your donut.” Fizzle had no idea how he came to be the universe’s most bizarre mashup of cuteness and chaos. Some say he was cursed by a bored forest witch who got ghosted by a dating app algorithm. Others claim he was the result of a late-night tequila-fueled spell gone wrong involving two cats, one gremlin, and a drunken unicorn. All Fizzle knew was this: his life was a relentless carousel of unwanted attention, absurd quests, and inexplicable cupcake-related incidents. Case in point: on the morning our tale begins, Fizzle awoke to find a cursed red velvet cupcake sitting neatly on a mossy log outside his mossier tree stump. It pulsed ominously. It sparkled obscenely. It smelled like cinnamon, regret, and demonic frosting. “Oh no,” Fizzle muttered, his voice that of a surprisingly deep British butler trapped in a kitten’s body. “Not again.” Last time he ignored a cursed pastry, his wings turned into rubber chickens and his meow summoned tax auditors. But if he ate it? Well, he'd probably be turned into a moon or something equally inconvenient. The cupcake gave a seductive little shimmy. Fizzle gave it the finger. (Figuratively. He didn’t technically have fingers. But the glare did the job.) Just then, a scroll burst into flame mid-air and dropped onto his head. It read: “Oh Glorious Split-Pawed Snorticorn! You have been chosen to embark upon a sacred journey. Save the village of Gloomsnort from its existential dread. You will be compensated in baked goods.” “Nope,” Fizzle said, tossing the scroll into a puddle. It promptly turned into a swarm of motivational bees that buzzed things like “You’ve got this!” and “Believe in your tail!” and “Live. Laugh. Loot.” Fizzle sighed. He flexed his stubby wings, snorted a spark from his horn, and turned dramatically toward the east — which, in this part of the forest, was whatever direction your sarcasm pointed. “Fine,” he muttered, rolling his eyes so hard they almost dislocated. “Let’s go save a bunch of sad peasants from whatever emo nonsense they’ve gotten themselves into this week.” Thus began the legend of the most reluctant, snarky, and snack-obsessed hero the realm had never asked for — but was probably going to get anyway. Gloomsnort’s Emotional Support Goblins By the time Fizzle reached the outskirts of Gloomsnort — a town famous for its moaning fog, emotionally repressed turnips, and aggressively mediocre poetry scene — he already regretted everything. His fur had frizzed from a sudden cloud of passive-aggressive lightning. His horn had been used by a flock of caffeine-addicted sprites as a stirring stick. And worst of all, he’d run out of his emergency cheese crackers. The town gate — which was really more of a fence that had given up on itself — creaked as Fizzle nudged it open. A sentry goblin slumped in a folding chair, wearing a vest labeled “Security-ish” and eating a pickle with deep, philosophical sadness. “Name?” the goblin asked without enthusiasm. “Fizzle,” the kitten replied, brushing soot off his wings. “Chimera. Snorticorn. Destroyer of mild inconveniences. Possibly your last hope, depending on the budget.” The goblin blinked slowly. “That sounds made up.” “So does your mustache,” Fizzle deadpanned. “Let me in.” He was waved through without another word, mostly because nobody in Gloomsnort had the energy to argue with a creature whose horn was currently sparking with repressed rage and low blood sugar. The town square looked like a failed pop-up therapy festival. Banners hung limply with slogans like “Feelings Are Fine (Sometimes)” and “Hug Yourself Before You Mug Yourself.” A trio of goblin buskers was attempting an interpretive dance about the dangers of unprocessed grief while juggling meat pies. No one was watching. Except for a one-eyed newt with a monocle. The newt was weeping. “This place needs a mood swing and a disco ball,” Fizzle muttered. From the shadows emerged a cloaked figure with the vibe of someone who definitely journaled with scented ink. She introduced herself as Sage Crumpet, High Priestess of the Cult of Complex Emotions and Chief Warden of the Town’s Existential Crisis Inventory. “We’re so glad you came,” she said, eyes full of haunted sparkle. “Our entire village has lost its will to brunch. The espresso machines only weep now.” “Tragic,” Fizzle said flatly. “And what, precisely, am I expected to do about it?” She handed him a soggy parchment. It read: “Find the source of the malaise. Neutralize it. Optional: hug it out.” Fizzle sighed and popped his neck. “Let’s start with the usual suspects. Cursed artifacts? Undead therapists? Rogue poets with God complexes?” “We suspect… it’s the fountain,” Crumpet whispered. “The town’s emotional support fountain?” Fizzle asked. “Yes. It’s… begun to give advice.” Now, advising fountains weren’t new in this realm. The Elven city of Faelaqua had one that whispered self-care tips and passive-aggressive reminders to moisturize. But Gloomsnort’s fountain was reportedly speaking in ALL CAPS and demanding tribute in the form of scented candles and cryptic performance art. When Fizzle approached the fountain — which looked suspiciously like a repurposed birdbath covered in motivational moss — it began vibrating ominously. “I AM THE FONT OF INNER TURMOIL,” it bellowed. “BRING ME THE UNRESOLVED DREAMS OF YOUR CHILDHOOD OR BE FOREVER INFLUENCED BY DISCOUNT WELLNESS PODCASTS.” “Oh great,” Fizzle muttered, “a sentient Tumblr post with delusions of grandeur.” The fountain burbled menacingly. “SNORTICORN. I KNOW YOUR SHAME. YOU ONCE TRIED TO CAST A SPELL BY YELLING ‘FIREBALL’ AT A CANDLE.” “That’s called experimenting,” Fizzle snapped. “And it mostly worked. The curtain never fully recovered, but—” “SILENCE! YOU MUST FACE THE FORBIDDEN SPIRIT OF YOUR OWN REPRESSED WHIMSY. OR I WILL FLOOD THIS VILLAGE WITH PUMPKIN SPICE TEARS.” Before Fizzle could argue, the air cracked like a therapy bill, and from the fountain rose a swirling mist that took the shape of… a lizard. A very tall, muscular, improbably oiled lizard with sparkly eyes, a leather vest, and the voice of a late-night jazz DJ. “Well, hello there,” the lizard purred. “You must be my inner trauma.” “I sincerely hope not,” Fizzle said, backing up a pawstep. “I’m Lurvio,” the lizard said, stretching in slow motion. “I’m your unresolved ambition to be taken seriously while also being adorable and mildly unhinged.” “You’re a lot,” Fizzle said. “Like, too much lizard and not enough metaphor.” “Let’s tango,” Lurvio said, summoning a glowing banjo and an audience of giggling will-o’-the-wisps. And so, naturally, they danced. Because that’s how these things go. Fizzle found himself locked in an increasingly absurd ritual known as the “Twirling of Suppressed Self-Realization,” which involved tap-dancing around literal baggage while the townsfolk clapped off-beat and Crumpet wept into a tissue shaped like her father’s disapproval. As the final banjo chord faded into existential moaning, Lurvio bowed and dissolved into sparkles, yelling, “LIVE YOUR TRUTH, YOU FLUFFY ICON!” The fountain stopped vibrating. The town sighed in relief. Somewhere, a turnip wrote a sonnet and smiled. “Did… did I just fix your town by emotionally breakdancing with my lizard shadow self?” Fizzle asked, panting. “Yes,” Crumpet sniffled. “You have healed our emotional fountain. We are, once again, brunch-capable.” Fizzle collapsed into a pile of dramatic sighs and muttered, “I better get a freaking cupcake for this.” The Rise and Mildly Inconvenient Fall of the Snorticorn The morning after the Lizard of Suppressed Whimsy exploded into sparkles, Gloomsnort awoke to something even more unsettling than emotional healing: hope. Villagers danced half-heartedly near the now-chill fountain, sipping herbal tea and debating whether their therapy goats could now be replaced with gratitude journals. Street vendors sold knockoff plushies labeled “Fizzle Plushicorns,” complete with detachable wings and tiny embroidered frowns. A bard had already written a ballad titled “The Horny Half-Cat Who Saved Our Souls.” Fizzle hated everything. He’d tried sneaking out before breakfast, but the moment he stepped out of his tavern room (decorated entirely in his likeness, which was as traumatic as it was poorly lit), he was mobbed by townsfolk demanding inspirational quotes, hair clippings, and in one case, advice on long-distance dating a banshee. “I’m not a guru, I’m a goblin piñata with better marketing,” he growled, snapping at someone trying to polish his horn. “The Snorticorn speaks in riddles!” someone gasped. “Write that down!” “It wasn’t a riddle, Brenda. It was sarcasm.” Just as he reached peak fluff-fueled meltdown, Sage Crumpet appeared with an official-looking scroll and a look of spiritual constipation. “There’s… been a development,” she said ominously. “The Council of Unwarranted Revelations has decreed that you are to be enshrined in the Eternal Temple of Tricky Destiny.” “That sounds made up.” “Oh it is. But it’s also very real. That’s how cults work.” Fizzle was herded (gently, and with far too many flower garlands) to the ceremonial Glimmer Dome — a converted hay barn full of twinkle lights, confetti cannons, and a suspicious number of motivational cats painted on the walls. A robed council stood at the center. One of them was a hedgehog. Nobody explained that. “We have seen the glitter in the goat’s entrails,” intoned the lead seer, who may or may not have been high on nutmeg. “You are the Snorticorn of Legend. You must now ascend to your final form.” “What in the caramel-dipped hells does that mean?” Fizzle snapped. “It means,” said Crumpet gently, “that you’re about to be sacrificed to fulfill the Prophecy of Snackrifice.” “Excuse me??” “You see,” she continued, “ancient texts foretold that a fluffy, grumpy creature with great sass and uneven fur would bring emotional balance — but only by being dunked in the Sacred Fondue of Final Realization.” Fizzle’s wings snapped to full mast. “YOU WANT TO MELT ME IN CHEESE?” “Only a little,” said Crumpet. “Symbolically. Maybe. We’re not really sure what counts as a ‘dunk.’ The texts are vague and partially written in glitter glue.” It was then, as he was eyeing the hot cauldron bubbling ominously with gouda, that Fizzle remembered who he was: a sarcastic, deeply tired chimera kitten who had survived cursed pastries, emotional fountains, and sexy metaphor lizards. And by all the snacks in the sacred pantry — he wasn’t about to become brunch. “NOPE,” he yelled, puffing up like a stress puffball and launching himself into the air with a surprisingly majestic flap of his bat wings. “I AM RETIRING FROM PROPHECIES. I’M GOING BACK TO MY TREE STUMP, AND I’M TAKING THE CEREMONIAL CROISSANTS WITH ME!” The crowd gasped. The seers tripped over their robes. The fondue splashed. And somewhere in the confusion, Fizzle set off a confetti cannon with his horn and disappeared in a puff of glitter and sass. He wasn’t seen again for several weeks — not until a traveling raccoon bard spotted him lounging in a hammock woven from old scrolls, sipping coconut milk out of a skull cup, and muttering into a notebook labeled “New Prophecy Ideas: Less Fondue.” Gloomsnort slowly recovered from its hero-loss trauma. The plushie market crashed. The emotional support fountain eventually retired and opened a podcast. But now and then, when the fog rolls just right and someone lights a cinnamon candle of questionable origin, you might hear a faint voice on the wind whisper: “Live. Laugh. Snort.” And somewhere, Fizzle rolls his eyes and flips the sky the bird.     Take the Snorticorn Home (Without the Fondue Risk) If you laughed, sighed, or questioned reality while following Fizzle’s gloriously unhinged journey, you can now summon a piece of that chaotic charm into your own realm. Canvas prints and framed prints are available to bring mystical snark to your walls, while our delightfully impractical hero also graces greeting cards for those brave enough to send feelings in the mail. Want to scribble sarcastic wisdom like Fizzle himself? Grab a spiral notebook. Or declare your allegiance to weirdly heroic fluffballs with a sticker worthy of laptops, water bottles, or forbidden grimoire covers. Bring the magic home — because every space deserves a little snort-powered sass.

by Bill Tiepelman

Lucipurr: Guardian of the Underrealm

Of Fur, Fire, and Fancy Curses In the quaint town of Bleakwood, nestled somewhere between “probably cursed” and “why is that forest always whispering?”, there lived a tabby cat with impossibly perfect eyeliner. His name? Lucipurr. But don’t let the fluff fool you. Beneath that plush exterior beat the heart of a demon overlord—retired, of course. Forced into early retirement after a series of “minor fireball incidents” involving a coven, three gnomes, and a very unlucky accordion, Lucipurr had been demoted to guardian of the Underrealm’s front gate—a.k.a. an iron sigil-inscribed cat door in the back of a Victorian greenhouse. Lucipurr strutted his territory with a kind of swagger only possessed by cats and washed-up rockstars. His wings, leathery and wine-colored, flared on dramatic turns. His collar jingled not with bells, but with the tiny, echoing scream of a soul fragment. Cute, right? He thought so. By day, he lounged among roses that bled sarcasm. By night, he reviewed petitions from the damned. Mostly small-time spirits wanting to borrow a demon’s Netflix login or appeal for reincarnation as a French bulldog. Ugh. “No ambition anymore,” he’d mutter, sipping espresso brewed from the shadows of forgotten regrets. Lucipurr’s closest companions were a crow named Carl (who was ironically terrified of commitment), and a sentient vine named Vinnie that hissed at tourists and occasionally slapped Lucipurr awake when he overslept his midnight patrol. They were dysfunctional, codependent, and possibly the end of civilization—but adorable, if you squinted through the impending doom. Everything was running smoothly, until one Tuesday—because chaos loves a Tuesday—something rumbled beneath the moss-covered tiles of Bleakwood. The gate thrummed. A sulfurous breeze wafted up, tickling Lucipurr’s whiskers. “Great,” he hissed, eyeing the red sky. “I just waxed my wings. What fresh hell is this?” The sigil pulsed beneath him, ancient and angry. Something—or someone—was trying to punch through. Lucipurr bared his fangs. “Not on my porch, darling.” He leapt down from his rose-covered pedestal, claws gleaming like tiny obsidian daggers, and strutted to the glowing threshold. He looked fabulous. He always did. But tonight, he would also have to be feral. Rise of the Sassquatch Lucipurr squinted into the swirling vortex like a bouncer who knew you were about to puke in the VIP lounge. A clawed hand reached out—gnarled, scaly, and wearing what was unmistakably a rhinestone friendship bracelet. “Oh no,” Lucipurr purred, flattening his ears. “Not her.” From the abyss crawled a beast known across multiple planes of existence as the Sassquatch—part cryptid, part ex-girlfriend, and entirely too into essential oils. She was covered in glitter-flecked fur, clutched a half-melted soy candle, and smelled faintly of haunted bath bombs. “Luuuuuucipuuuurr,” she growled in a voice like an overused voicemail filter. “I’m back, baby!” Lucipurr didn’t flinch. “I blocked you on every dimension. What do you want?” She stepped fully through the gate, knocking over Carl the crow’s velvet chaise lounge. He squawked indignantly and promptly flew off in a cloud of feathers and trauma. Vinnie the vine recoiled, coiling protectively around Lucipurr’s rose throne like a jealous lover. “I’ve come,” Sassquatch purred, “to reclaim my place by your side. Together, we’ll rule the Upper Underrealm. We’ll redecorate. More sequins. Less rules. Maybe brunch?” Lucipurr’s tail twitched in disgust. “You tried to sacrifice me for a TikTok spell. You turned my litter box into a crystal grid.” “It got SO many views!” “I was peeing under the moonlight because you replaced my sand with Himalayan salt. I sparked.” But Sassquatch was already swirling her hands in ominous jazz hands, summoning glitter storms and illusions of tiny tap-dancing familiars. “We can be a brand, Luci. ‘Purrfect Chaos.’ I have merch ideas. Matching collars. Crowdfunded curses.” Lucipurr stepped forward, tail held high like a scepter of righteous sass. “You listen to me, sparkle goblin. This realm doesn’t need your toxic positivity, your expired incantations, or your homemade kombucha. I am the gatekeeper of cosmic nonsense. I am the wielder of sarcastic fury. I am the claws in the dark, the paws that patrol midnight sidewalks, and the reason therapy is mandatory for otherworldly interns.” He hissed with theatrical flair. The roses bloomed blood-red behind him. Thunder rumbled. Carl returned just in time to dramatically drop a tiny crown onto Lucipurr’s head. He’d been waiting to use it. Timing is everything in avian theater. Sassquatch shrieked and tried to summon a glitter dragon. It sneezed and evaporated immediately. “Fine! But I’ll be back. You haven’t seen the last of me, Lucipurr!” Lucipurr smirked. “I’d rather see a hairball in HD.” With a final hiss and a puff of glittery smoke, Sassquatch vanished into the abyss, her candle still flickering out a tragic lavender scent. The gate sealed with a satisfied hum. Silence returned. The roses cooed. Vinnie relaxed, wrapping a leafy tendril around Lucipurr’s leg like an affectionate boa. Carl landed next to him, clearly impressed. “What now, boss?” Lucipurr flicked a speck of glitter off his whiskers. “Now? I nap. And later? I hunt down the soul who left that Yelp review claiming this place was ‘overgrown and smelled like regret.’” He sauntered back to his perch, wings gently folding, the sky settling into a twilight purr. The Underrealm was safe—at least until the next Tuesday. And thus, with style, sass, and a side of shade, Lucipurr reigned once more. Fabulous. Fanged. Flawless.     Epilogue: Nine Lives and Zero Regrets Weeks passed in Bleakwood, which, in demonic time, translates roughly to “two naps and a spicy dream.” Lucipurr had settled back into his routine: brooding beautifully, vetoing mortal nonsense, and occasionally pretending to knock over sacred relics just to remind the universe who was boss. Sassquatch’s attempted coup became local legend—right alongside the tale of the Haunted Hedgehog and the incident with the fire-breathing llama. Carl was working on a one-bird play about the whole ordeal, though the script was mostly caws and long silences. Critics were already calling it “avant-garbage.” Vinnie, meanwhile, took up slam poetry. No one had the heart to tell him that most of his work just sounded like aggressive hissing—but hey, art is subjective. Lucipurr, curled atop his rose-draped pedestal, glanced up at the sky. It was pink with menace—his favorite hue. Somewhere beyond the veil, he sensed another soul brewing chaos, another gate quivering with mischief. He smirked. “Let them come,” he purred, curling his tail with divine disinterest. “I’ve got snacks, sass, and nine lives. And I haven’t even used the good one yet.” And with that, Lucipurr dozed off—dreaming of glitter-proof armor, interdimensional fashion lines, and a world where every curse came with a gift receipt. He may have been banished from true hellfire... but Bleakwood? Bleakwood was his. Forever dramatic. Forever dangerous. Forever purring. Lucipurr: Guardian of the Underrealm     🛍️ Take Lucipurr Home (If You Dare...) If your soul was stirred (or slightly singed) by Lucipurr’s tale, you can summon a piece of the Underrealm to your own lair. Channel dark whimsy and feline drama with the Lucipurr Canvas Print, or wrap your crypt in chaotic elegance with a Tapestry that says “yes, I smudge with sarcasm.” Feeling puzzling? Piece together Lucipurr’s legendary smirk with the Lucipurr Puzzle. Or if you're ready to carry your sass into the mortal realm, grab the Lucipurr Tote Bag—guaranteed to fit spellbooks, snacks, and just enough vengeance. Darkness never looked so delightful. Shop now… before he changes his mind.

by Bill Tiepelman

The Guardian and the Kitten: Housebound Adventures

It all started when Elara, self-proclaimed queen of the household and a 17-pound Maine Coon with the ego of a warlord, discovered something rather unacceptable in her territory. There, perched atop her sacred sunspot on the wooden floor, was an intruder. And not just any intruder—a scaly, winged, fire-breathing menace about the size of an overgrown hamster. "What the actual fluff is this?" Elara muttered, tail flicking. The dragon, barely the size of a teapot, looked up from where it was chewing on the corner of a leather-bound book. It cocked its tiny, spiky head and let out a small, smoke-filled hiccup. "Oh. A cat. How original." Enter Smauglet, the Tiny Terror Smauglet—yes, that was what he called himself, as if the name wasn’t a little too ambitious for something that could be drop-kicked into a laundry basket—stretched his wings, knocking over an expensive-looking vase in the process. The crash was immediate, the effect devastating. Elara's ears twitched. "Oh. You're one of those." Smauglet grinned, all sharp teeth and no remorse. "One of what?" "One of those 'small but chaotic' types. Like the human's Roomba. Or the squirrel I tried to eat last summer." Smauglet flicked his tail, knocking over a candle. "Listen, Furball Supreme, I may be small, but I am a dragon. I bring fire. I bring destruction. I bring—" Elara swatted him mid-monologue, sending him tumbling across the floor like a scaly dust bunny. The Human Intervenes (Uselessly, As Expected) Just as Smauglet was trying to recover what little dignity he had left, their mutual overlord—the Human—stumbled in, coffee in one hand, phone in the other. She blinked at the scene: fur, scales, and what looked suspiciously like a singed couch cushion. "Elara, what did you do?" Elara, insulted beyond reason, fluffed up. "Excuse me? You're blaming me?" Smauglet, the opportunistic little gremlin that he was, immediately switched gears. He flopped onto his back, wings splayed dramatically. "She attacked me! I was just sitting here, minding my own business, contemplating the fragility of human existence!" "Oh, screw you," Elara snapped. The Human groaned, rubbing her temple. "Look, I don’t know what fresh level of fantasy nonsense I just walked into, but can we please try not to burn the house down?" She pointed at Smauglet. "You, no fire. You," she turned to Elara, "no homicide." Both culprits stared at her. Elara sighed. "Fine." Smauglet smirked. "Fine." The Truce (Which Lasts a Whole Five Minutes) For about an hour, things were peaceful. Elara reclaimed her sunspot, and Smauglet curled up on a bookshelf, gnawing on the spine of The Art of War, which was honestly on-brand. The Human relaxed, wrongly assuming she had restored order. Then Smauglet made the mistake of flicking his tail into Elara’s face. What followed was a blur of claws, fire, and a level of screaming that probably put the neighbors on high alert. The Human sprinted back into the room, holding a fire extinguisher in one hand and a spray bottle in the other. "That’s it! New rule—no more medieval warfare in my living room!" Elara and Smauglet glared at each other, then at the Human. Elara sighed dramatically. "You ruin all my fun." Smauglet rolled onto his back. "I'm hungry." The Human groaned. "I am moving out." And thus, an uneasy alliance was formed. The dragon would keep his fire to himself (mostly), and Elara would tolerate his existence (barely). And the Human? She stocked up on fireproof furniture and accepted her fate. After all, when you live with a cat and a dragon, peace is just a myth.     Bring the Chaos Home Love the antics of Elara and Smauglet? Now you can bring their mischievous charm into your own space! Whether you're a fan of feisty felines, fiery dragons, or just enjoy a bit of magical mayhem, we've got something for you. 🔥 Wall Tapestry – Turn your room into a whimsical battleground of fur and flame. 🎨 Canvas Print – A high-quality masterpiece to showcase your love for mischief and magic. 🧩 Jigsaw Puzzle – Test your patience just like The Human does with these two chaos-makers. 👜 Tote Bag – Carry your essentials with the same confidence Elara carries her grudges. Click the links to grab your favorite, and let the legendary battle of cat vs. dragon live on in your home!

by Bill Tiepelman

Feline Firekeeper

The alley was dimly lit, cobblestones slick from the evening rain. A faint golden glow spilled from the horizon, catching the edges of the shadows that crept along the walls. It was here, in this forgotten corner of the city, that the legend began. They say the Firekeeper comes in many forms. A cloaked figure in some tales, a warrior in others. But no one ever suspected it would take the shape of a tabby cat. Yet, there she was—paws silent, tail swaying like a pendulum of inevitability, carrying a small, squirming dragon in her jaws. The dragon hissed and sputtered, its wings glowing faintly as though smoldering embers were trapped within. Flames flickered from its nostrils, singeing the whiskers of the determined feline predator. Across the city, the tavern buzzed with the usual rowdy laughter. Mead sloshed over wooden tables, and the air reeked of ale, sweat, and questionable choices. In the corner, an old man with a beard long enough to knit a sweater began his tale. “You’ve heard the story of the Firekeeper, aye?” he bellowed, slamming his mug down with dramatic flair. The crowd quieted, intrigued despite themselves. “Well, let me tell ya, it’s not just a story. The Firekeeper walks among us tonight!” “Among us?” a skeptical voice called out. “What, in the alley with the rats? Maybe it’s out there teaching them to juggle fire.” The laughter was swift and merciless. “Mock me if you will!” the old man snapped. “But when the Firekeeper comes, you’ll wish you’d kept your gob shut. That creature is the guardian of balance between realms. It doesn’t just hunt dragons; it chooses them. And if it chooses wrong…” He trailed off, letting the silence thicken like gravy. Meanwhile, the tabby padded through the alley with a quiet confidence that could make a lion jealous. The dragon, now reduced to pitiful squeaks, flailed its tiny claws as if hoping for a miracle. “Oh, stop squirming,” the cat mumbled around the dragon’s neck, her voice dripping with the kind of exasperation reserved for babysitters and reluctant heroes. “You’re not the first spicy lizard I’ve had to deal with, and you won’t be the last.” The dragon hissed defiantly. “You’ll regret this, feline! I am Pyros the Mighty, Scourge of the Skylands! My flames shall—” “Blah, blah, blah. Mighty this, scourge that,” the cat interrupted, rolling her eyes. “Do you all rehearse these lines or something? Honestly, I’ve met alley rats with better self-esteem.” The dragon’s glowing eyes narrowed. “Mock me at your peril! Do you know who you’re messing with?” “Oh, I know exactly who I’m messing with,” she purred. “A dragon so small it could double as a chew toy. Now, unless you want to be the punchline of my next hunting story, I suggest you pipe down.” Back at the tavern, the old man’s voice grew hushed. “Legend says the Firekeeper’s task isn’t just to hunt dragons. No, it’s to keep the balance. Too many dragons, and the world burns. Too few, and the magic fades. The Firekeeper decides who lives and who…” He dragged a finger across his throat for effect, making a dramatic “schick” sound that sent shivers through the room. “You’re saying a cat makes those decisions?” someone scoffed. “What’s next, mice running the treasury?” At that moment, the tavern door creaked open, and the room fell silent. A young woman stepped inside, drenched from the rain. She wore a cloak of dark green, its edges singed as if she’d walked through fire. “The Firekeeper has chosen,” she said simply, her voice soft but commanding. “And the balance will be restored tonight.” The old man grinned triumphantly. “See? Told ya!” In the alley, the tabby had reached her destination—a glowing portal that shimmered like molten gold. She dropped the dragon unceremoniously at the threshold. “Alright, Pyros, here’s the deal,” she said, stretching lazily. “You go through that portal, behave yourself, and maybe I won’t have to chase you down again. Got it?” The dragon hesitated. “And if I don’t?” The tabby’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “Then I find a nice cozy pillow, and you become the world’s fanciest neck warmer.” Pyros gulped, his bravado extinguished. “Fine,” he muttered, flapping his wings and disappearing into the portal. The light flickered, then faded, leaving the alley silent once more. The tabby turned, her tail swishing as she disappeared into the shadows. “Another day, another dragon,” she mused. “And they call dogs man’s best friend.” Back at the tavern, the young woman spoke again. “The Firekeeper has fulfilled its duty. Tonight, the balance remains intact. Tomorrow? Who knows.” She pulled her hood up, turned, and left without another word. The old man drained his mug with a satisfied sigh. “So, who’s buying me another round?” he asked. The room erupted in laughter, the tension broken—for now. And so, the legend of the Firekeeper lived on, whispered in alleys, sung in taverns, and feared by dragons everywhere. As for the tabby? She was already on to her next adventure, proving once again that the smallest creatures often have the biggest roles to play.     Discover the Story Behind the Art: This captivating image, titled “Feline Firekeeper”, is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Explore this and other stunning works in our archive. Click here to view in the Unfocussed Archive.

by Bill Tiepelman

Meditative Whiskers of Light

The Hippie’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions Another year, another trip around the sun. That’s what I told myself as I sat on my meditation pillow in the corner of my living room, incense smoke curling around me like the mystical tendrils of my free-spirited youth. “New Year’s resolutions,” I muttered to my cat, Cosmic Steve, who blinked at me with the detached wisdom of a being that had seen me at my worst—like that time I tried to ferment my own kombucha in 1987 and ended up with a kitchen that smelled like a Woodstock porta-potty. I scratched my beard, now streaked with a respectable amount of gray, and pondered the challenge ahead. Resolutions. They were like trying to quit sugar while holding a box of organic vegan brownies—technically good for you, but still painfully hard. “Okay, Steve,” I said, “this year, I’m gonna be serious about it. No more excuses.” Resolution #1: Eat Healthier I dusted off an old juicer I’d bought at a yard sale in 1993. It had probably made juice for some long-lost commune in Oregon, judging by the faint smell of patchouli oil that still clung to it. I tossed in some kale, a carrot, and an apple for good measure. The juicer roared like an angry bear, spitting out what looked like swamp water. I took a sip, grimaced, and immediately followed it with a shot of tequila. Cosmic Steve looked at me as if to say, “You’ve learned nothing.” Resolution #2: Exercise More “Yoga,” I decided, rolling out a mat I’d bought in the 70s. It had more stains on it than a tie-dye shirt at a Grateful Dead concert. I stretched into downward dog, which quickly devolved into downward nap. Somewhere between child’s pose and corpse pose, I dozed off, only to wake up an hour later to the sound of Steve pawing at the juicer. Exercise was off to a rough start. “Maybe tomorrow,” I said, as I shuffled to the couch to watch reruns of That 70’s Show. Resolution #3: Be More Tech-Savvy This one was Cosmic Steve’s idea. Or at least I assumed so, given the way he always walked across my keyboard while I tried to Google “how to live off the grid in 2024.” I decided to finally set up a TikTok account to spread my hippie wisdom to the masses. It didn’t go well. My first video, titled “How to Make Macramé Dreamcatchers for Your Third Eye,” got exactly three views—one of which was me trying to figure out how to delete it. “Social media’s a trap, man,” I told Steve. He didn’t disagree. Resolution #4: Be More Organized I bought a planner. A really nice one with floral patterns and inspirational quotes like “The journey is the reward.” I promptly forgot where I put it. When I finally found it—underneath a pile of vinyl records—I realized I’d written “PLAN LIFE” on January 1st and nothing else. “This is fine,” I told myself. “Free spirits can’t be confined by calendars.” The New Year’s Epiphany By the end of the first week, my resolutions had devolved into vague intentions, like “maybe eat less cheese” and “think about jogging.” But then, during one of my evening meditations (okay, fine, I was lying on the couch with a glass of wine and some Pink Floyd), it hit me. Why was I trying so hard to be someone I wasn’t? I’d spent decades perfecting the art of being an old hippie soul. Resolutions were just societal constructs, man. They were like clocks and taxes—arbitrary rules meant to box us in. “Screw it, Steve,” I said. “My resolution is to keep being me.” The Final Lesson So here’s the deal: I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t run a marathon, and my TikTok career is probably dead before it started. But I did reconnect with the things that make me happy—sunsets, vinyl records, and the occasional questionable kombucha experiment. And maybe that’s what resolutions are really about. Not changing who you are, but doubling down on the parts of you that are already groovy. Happy New Year, man. May your vibes be good and your resolutions be optional.     Explore the essence of "Meditative Whiskers of Light" in our Image Archive. This vibrant, whimsical artwork is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Perfect for adding a touch of colorful serenity to your space or project. Dive into the magic today!

by Bill Tiepelman

The Midnight Council

In the dense, shadowy woods, where moonlight struggled to pierce the canopy, a peculiar gathering took place. Legends whispered among villagers of a council that convened only once in a century—an assembly of three ancient beings bound by a pact forged in realms beyond human comprehension. They were the protectors, the silent guardians of balance, summoned in times of grave peril. Tonight, the Midnight Council had returned. The Cat: Keeper of Secrets On a gnarled branch slick with moss, the black cat stretched lazily, its luminous yellow eyes half-closed. Its sleek, obsidian fur shimmered faintly under the moon’s glow, exuding an aura of untouchable elegance. Known as Nyra, the Keeper of Secrets, the cat bore the knowledge of every whisper, every oath, and every hidden truth uttered beneath the stars. She purred softly, her voice weaving into the night, sending ripples through the fabric of the unseen. “The forest quivers,” Nyra murmured, her words like silk, yet heavy with portent. “Something stirs in the dark, a force unbound.” The Fox: Herald of Change Beside her, perched with a graceful poise, the red fox swished its tail, a streak of fire against the shadow. The fox, named Eryndor, was the Herald of Change—a wanderer between worlds, carrying the whispers of shifting destinies. Its amber eyes burned with fierce intelligence, scanning the horizon as though reading the threads of fate unraveling before it. “Change is neither friend nor foe, Nyra,” Eryndor replied, its voice smooth, tinged with a mischievous undertone. “It simply is. But this... this reeks of chaos untamed.” The Owl: Keeper of the Veil Above them loomed the great horned owl, its piercing gaze fixed on the darkness beyond. Known as Astrava, Keeper of the Veil, the owl was the guardian of the boundary between the mortal plane and the vast unknown. Its feathers bore the markings of ancient runes, faintly glowing, as though etched by hands long forgotten. “It is as I feared,” Astrava said, its voice resonant and ancient, carrying the weight of millennia. “The Veil has thinned. A rift has opened, allowing that which was banished to seep through. If left unchecked, it will consume not only this forest but all life tethered to this realm.” The Rift The trio fell silent, their combined presence an unspoken ritual of power. From the blackness of the woods, a low, guttural growl emerged—a sound so primal, it sent shivers rippling through the earth. Slowly, the darkness took form, a mass of shadows writhing and contorting into grotesque shapes. Eyes—hundreds of them—blazed within the void, filled with hunger and hatred. “The Devourer,” Astrava intoned. “A relic of the old wars. It feasts on fear and despair, growing stronger with every soul consumed.” Nyra arched her back, her fur bristling. “Then we must remind it why it was banished to the abyss.” Her eyes narrowed, glowing like twin suns. “It will not feast here.” The Ritual of Unity The three ancient beings closed their eyes, their energies merging into a radiant sphere of light. Nyra channeled the secrets of the universe, weaving spells with her voice, each word a dagger that pierced the darkness. Eryndor danced along the branch, its movements graceful and hypnotic, summoning the winds of transformation to shred the shadows. Astrava spread its wings wide, a thunderous crack echoing as the air vibrated with ancient power, sealing the Veil once more. The Devourer roared, lashing out with tendrils of inky darkness, but it was no match for the united force of the Midnight Council. With a final, deafening cry, the creature was sucked back into the abyss, its presence erased from the mortal realm. The rift sealed with a brilliant flash, leaving the forest eerily silent. A Silent Departure As dawn approached, the three guardians remained still, their forms illuminated by the first rays of sunlight breaking through the canopy. Nyra leapt down, her movements fluid, and padded silently into the underbrush. Eryndor turned, its tail brushing the air like a streak of fire, before vanishing into the forest. Astrava took to the skies, its massive wings cutting through the morning mist. And so, the Midnight Council dissolved once more, their pact fulfilled. The forest returned to its slumber, unaware of the ancient forces that had fought to preserve its sanctity. But in the hearts of those who dared venture too deep, an unshakable feeling lingered—of eyes watching, of power unseen, and of a silence that spoke volumes. For the Midnight Council would always be there, waiting, watching, ready to rise again when the balance was threatened.     Products Inspired by The Midnight Council Bring the mystique and power of "The Midnight Council" into your home with these beautifully crafted products, available exclusively at Unfocussed Shop. Whether you're looking to adorn your walls or immerse yourself in the story's spirit, these items make the perfect addition to your collection: Tapestry: Transform your space with this stunning wall tapestry, featuring the intricate artistry of "The Midnight Council." Canvas Print: Elevate your decor with a premium canvas print, capturing the vibrant textures and mystique of the council. Puzzle: Dive deeper into the story with this engaging puzzle, perfect for quiet, reflective moments. Cross Stitch Pattern: Bring this stunning visual tapestry to life, featuring the intricate artistry of "The Midnight Council." Stickers: Carry a piece of the council with you wherever you go with these durable, high-quality stickers. Explore these products and more to bring the magic of the Midnight Council into your everyday life. Visit the shop here.

by Bill Tiepelman

The Girl, the Cat, and the Garden that Didn’t Exist Yesterday

Once upon a Thursday that was supposed to be like any other, Lydia—a small, curious girl with an affinity for rose-patterned dresses and grand adventures—wandered into her backyard to find something that had definitely not been there the day before: a sprawling, enchanted garden. There were plants she didn’t recognize, which was odd because Lydia considered herself something of a garden expert. Enormous blooms the size of dinner plates arched over winding wooden paths, their petals shimmering in impossible shades of indigo, coral, and bright peach. Vines coiled up ancient trees as if they were knitting a tapestry, and the air smelled like honey and cinnamon, though it was probably just the same backyard where the neighbors’ dog liked to dig up their lawn. Perched beside her was her fluffy, slightly sarcastic Maine Coon, Maximilian von Purrington. Max had been named by Lydia’s grandmother, who claimed that cats with long names developed character, and Lydia figured it was true since Max had a personality that could fill the house. His ginger fur glowed almost theatrically in the soft light filtering down through the foliage, and he sat with his tail wrapped around his paws, regarding the garden with a mixture of surprise and mild disapproval. He preferred the indoors—where snacks were abundant, and the risk of strange vegetation was minimal. “Did you do this?” Lydia whispered, already certain the garden was hiding secrets she had yet to uncover. Max glanced up at her, narrowing his green eyes with the world-weary expression of a cat who’s used to humoring humans. “I think we both know I’m not one for horticulture,” he replied, his voice dripping with the kind of dry British accent Lydia imagined for him. In truth, Max didn’t speak, but Lydia’s imagination filled in the gaps. “And don’t even think about eating anything here. If the mushrooms have eyes, we turn around.” But Lydia was already dashing down the first winding path, lace skirt swirling around her legs, her hair bouncing as she leaped over roots that seemed to pulse with life. Max, torn between his loyalty and his reluctance to enter the garden, followed with a resigned sigh. The Garden’s Secret The deeper they wandered, the more peculiar the garden became. There were flowers that seemed to rearrange themselves whenever Lydia wasn’t looking, and plants that shivered and withdrew as Max approached, as though intimidated by his casual haughtiness. Lydia laughed and twirled, delighting in every strange and marvelous sight, while Max muttered under his breath about “botanical nonsense” and “humans and their foolishness.” Then they reached a clearing where a massive, intricately carved wooden door stood alone, leading to nothing in particular. Painted on its surface in delicate script were the words: “For Those Who Are Lost or Simply Bored.” “Oh! We should go through it!” Lydia declared. “Or,” Max drawled, stretching his paws delicately, “we could turn back. I hear the sofa is nice and warm this time of day.” But before he could protest further, Lydia had pushed open the door, and they stepped through. A Dance with the Toads On the other side of the door, they found themselves in an even stranger garden. The path beneath them was not dirt or wood but soft, thick clouds that cushioned each step, and the plants here were even more absurd than before. Bright purple mushrooms sprouted on floating rocks, and enormous, puffy plants with pastel fur swayed in time to music that seemed to drift out of nowhere. “Are we floating?” Max asked, somewhat distressed. “I’m a cat, Lydia. I’m supposed to stay close to the ground. Gravity is part of my brand.” Lydia barely heard him. She was already darting toward a cluster of flowers with gleaming petals that looked like stained glass. Behind the flowers, a signpost read: “LEFT: A Friendly Ogre with Free Lemonade. RIGHT: Beware of Tap-Dancing Toads.” Lydia, being a logical child, decided that free lemonade was an opportunity not to be missed, so she veered left, with Max reluctantly padding along behind her. Sure enough, they soon encountered a friendly ogre sitting in a large, comfy armchair, looking surprisingly domestic. He wore glasses, had a nose ring, and held a jug of lemonade in one hand. As they approached, he grinned and offered them each a cup (Lydia gladly accepted, Max sniffed his cup suspiciously). “Lovely day in the garden, isn’t it?” said the ogre, whose name turned out to be Gerald. “Oh, I wouldn’t go past the river, though—wild blueberry bushes with quite an attitude over there.” “Oh, thank you, Gerald!” Lydia said, delighted at having found a friend. “Do you live here?” “Oh, I wouldn’t say I live here,” Gerald replied mysteriously, peering over his glasses. “It’s just where I go on Thursdays. Fridays I’m more of a mountain troll, if you catch my drift.” He winked. After a few more sips of lemonade, Lydia and Max thanked Gerald and set off once more, waving goodbye as he returned to his magazine, which appeared to be titled “Ogrely Affairs.” The Journey Home Hours—or maybe only minutes—later, Lydia and Max finally retraced their steps back to the lone door in the garden. They slipped through it and emerged once more into Lydia’s perfectly normal backyard. The enchanted garden was gone, replaced by the usual bushes, a patchy lawn, and that neighbor’s dog who was barking at a pigeon. As they stepped inside the house, Max immediately sprawled out on the nearest rug with a sigh, as if he had been on some terribly arduous journey. “What do you think it all meant?” Lydia asked, glancing back at the garden, as if hoping it might reappear. Max gave her an inscrutable look. “Some things, Lydia, are better left unexplained. Like that ogre’s lemonade recipe.” They never spoke of the garden again, but every Thursday, like clockwork, Lydia would check the backyard, just in case the door returned. And though he’d never admit it, Max always checked too.    Bring the Magic Home If you loved Lydia and Max's enchanting adventure through the mystical garden, you can keep a piece of that magic in your own space. Explore our Mystical Gardens and Childhood Dreams collection, featuring whimsical designs by Bill and Linda Tiepelman that capture the story’s dreamy spirit. From cozy throws to charming accessories, these items are perfect for adding a touch of wonder to your day-to-day life. Tapestry – Transform any room into a fairytale escape with this beautiful tapestry. Throw Pillow – Add a splash of magic to your sofa or reading nook with this cozy throw pillow. Tote Bag – Carry a piece of the enchanted garden with you wherever you go! Pouch – Keep your essentials close with this charming pouch, perfect for daily adventures. Each piece in this collection is designed to bring a smile and a touch of whimsy into your life. Take a bit of the garden’s magic with you, and let your imagination roam!

by Bill Tiepelman

Nebula Eyes and the Enchanted Litter Box

Once upon a time, deep in a forest where magic mushrooms glowed and squirrels sipped on spiked acorn brew, there lived a mystical kitten named Nebula. Now, Nebula wasn’t your average kitten. Nope—this one had fur that swirled with cosmic patterns, eyes that looked like they could see through your soul, and the sass of a hundred alley cats combined. You might think that having galaxies in your fur would make you a wise, noble guardian of the forest. But Nebula? Nebula had… other priorities. One night, Nebula strutted through the enchanted forest, her gaze shimmering with that usual “I know something you don’t” energy. But tonight, she was on a mission. Somewhere, hidden under a mystical mushroom or beside a babbling brook, was the legendary Enchanted Litter Box—rumored to be the most luxurious bathroom in the universe. According to forest legend, the Enchanted Litter Box would grant one wish to any creature who used it. But it wasn’t just any wish. It was the kind of wish that could make your wildest dreams come true… as long as you flushed properly. “Perfect,” thought Nebula, whiskers twitching. “I’ve got a few things I’d like to change around here.” Nebula’s journey wasn’t without its obstacles, though. She had to dodge a drunk raccoon named Ralph, who was babbling on about his broken marriage, and a band of chipmunks running a very illegal nut gambling ring. After a few detours (and a stolen mushroom or two), Nebula finally spotted it: the Enchanted Litter Box. It was as golden as a goose egg and smelled faintly of lavender and… was that... cinnamon? She sniffed the air. “This better be worth it,” she muttered, stepping into the box. The enchanted box glowed as she did her business, little sparkles dancing in the air. She thought long and hard about her wish as she kicked some enchanted litter over her “contribution.” Finally, with a haughty tail flick, she declared, “I wish for unlimited snacks and absolutely zero consequences for anything I do. Ever.” The Litter Box shimmered, glowed, and then—POOF! Out came a cloud of sparkles, swirling around her in a storm of magic. When the glitter settled, Nebula was sitting in a pile of treats—enchanted catnip, smoked salmon bits, and even the fabled Forest Tuna Tartare (usually reserved only for the royal badger). She rolled around in her new stash, practically purring with triumph. Of course, word of the litter box wish quickly spread. Soon, every forest creature wanted in on the action. Ralph the raccoon attempted a wish for “eternal charisma,” only to end up with a permanent case of the hiccups. The chipmunks wished for endless acorns and got buried under an avalanche of the darn things. But Nebula? She was completely unfazed, watching from her pile of treats as chaos reigned around her. As she lounged in her enchanted treat stash, smirking at the pandemonium, Nebula realized one important truth: Sometimes, it pays to be a little selfish and a whole lot sassy. After all, if you can look like a star-dusted, galaxy-eyed diva and still come out smelling like lavender litter, then why the heck not? And so, Nebula lived out her days in smug luxury, rolling in enchanted treats, ignoring the antics of her enchanted forest neighbors, and, of course, refusing to let anyone touch her precious, glowing litter box. The End     Bring Nebula Home! If you enjoyed the story of Nebula, why not bring a little of that enchanted, cosmic charm into your own space? Explore our exclusive collection featuring Nebula Eyes and Moonlit Fur on a variety of unique products: Throw Pillow – Add a touch of magical comfort to your living space. Tapestry – Transform any wall into a window to an enchanted forest. Tote Bag – Carry a bit of Nebula’s magic wherever you go. Fleece Blanket – Snuggle up in cosmic style. Stitch the Magic of Nebula Eyes and Moonlit Fur Capture the whimsical charm and cosmic beauty of Nebula’s story with this cross-stitch pattern. Perfect for both beginners and experienced stitchers, this pattern transforms the enchanting tale into a stunning work of art. Let your creativity bring Nebula’s glowing eyes and moonlit fur to life, one stitch at a time. Whether you’re looking to add a whimsical touch to your home or a unique gift for someone special, these items bring Nebula's enchanted energy into the everyday.

by Bill Tiepelman

Crisp Leaves and Curious Eyes

There’s something special about the pumpkin patch at night. Sure, it's a wholesome place by day—filled with giggling kids, hayrides, and apple cider—but come dusk, it changes. Maybe it’s the shadows from the jack-o'-lanterns flickering just a bit too long, or the way the wind howls through the cornfields, whispering secrets like it’s in on a joke you don’t quite get. For Evie, it was more than just a patch. It was her escape. An escape from the grown-up nonsense of bills, laundry, and men who couldn’t text back within a 48-hour window. Tonight, though, she was here for one thing: answers. Her straw hat was tipped low over her face, a ridiculous scarecrow get-up she borrowed from the bottom of her attic’s Halloween bin. The patch wasn’t open to the public at this hour, but Evie wasn’t exactly the rule-following type. So, under the guise of “blending in,” she figured scarecrow attire would be just inconspicuous enough. Because who questions a girl holding a black kitten, after all? She didn't name it—cats weren’t her thing—but it showed up one day, eyes glowing like it was auditioning for a Tim Burton movie. The damn thing followed her everywhere now, like a fuzzy, judgmental shadow. "Alright, mystery pumpkin patch," she muttered to herself, kicking a random gourd with the tip of her boot, "what are you hiding?" Evie wasn’t entirely sure why she’d come back. Maybe it was the weird note she’d found stuffed in her grocery bag last week. “Your answers are in the patch. Come alone.” She'd chuckled when she first read it, thinking some loser from the dating app was trying to get creative with his pick-up lines. Or worse, some MLM hun trying to sell her organic pumpkin spice oils. But curiosity got the best of her, as it often did. As she crept deeper into the field, the pumpkins seemed bigger, more sinister. The moonlight danced on the orange skin of each one, giving them a strange, almost human expression. She caught herself staring a little too long at a particularly squat one that looked like it could pass as her high school gym teacher. "You judging me too, Coach Johnson? Yeah, well, screw you. Your crossfit circuit was a joke," she muttered under her breath, glaring at the gourd. The kitten meowed, as if in agreement. Or maybe protest. Who knew with cats? A Rumble in the Patch Suddenly, there was a rustling in the rows of corn nearby. Evie froze, her heart doing that weird skippy thing it always did when she felt like she was about to be caught doing something she shouldn’t. The kitten, on the other hand, seemed utterly unimpressed, licking its paw like the possibility of danger was an afterthought. "Who’s there?" she called, her voice wobbling only slightly. She might be a grown woman, but cornfields at night had a way of bringing out the nine-year-old in anyone. There was no answer, but she could feel eyes on her. And not just pumpkin eyes. Evie tightened her grip on the kitten, which, again, seemed more annoyed than protective. She spun around, her gaze darting from one oversized pumpkin to the next, half expecting one to stand up and start chasing her like a scene from a B-movie horror flick. Then, from behind a particularly large patch of sunflowers, a figure emerged. "Well, well, if it isn’t Little Miss Scarecrow. You really went all out, huh?" The voice was annoyingly familiar. It was Todd. Of course, it was Todd. The only guy she knew who’d break into a pumpkin patch for kicks and who, for some reason, believed showing up unannounced was 'quirky' and not just downright creepy. "Todd? Seriously? The note was from you? What the hell?" Todd smirked, stepping forward into the moonlight, revealing a mismatched pirate costume—complete with an eyepatch that seemed to be slipping off his head at an unfortunate angle. "Yeah, yeah, sorry about the theatrics. But I needed to get your attention. You haven’t been answering my texts." Evie rolled her eyes so hard she was sure they were going to pop out of her skull. "You can’t just lure me to a damn pumpkin patch with some cryptic-ass note, Todd. And your texts? What part of 'we broke up three months ago' didn’t get through to your tiny, pirate-infested brain?" "I thought it was romantic. You know, like an autumn mystery? You like mysteries." "I like mysteries involving crime, Todd, not my ex-boyfriend who can’t let go." The Real Mystery Just as Evie was about to tear into him further—because if Todd deserved anything, it was a proper verbal smackdown—a loud rumble shook the ground. The pumpkins trembled. Even Todd, with all his “I’m just a cool guy” bravado, took a step back. "Uh... did you feel that?" Evie asked, her anger momentarily replaced by actual concern. "Yeah," Todd nodded. "Was that...an earthquake?" "In Ohio? Really? That’s your answer?" Before either of them could come up with a better explanation, the ground started to shift again. This time, it wasn’t just a tremble. Something—something—was pushing its way up through the soil. Evie’s heart leapt into her throat as a giant pumpkin began to rise, roots snapping, dirt flying everywhere. "Okay, WHAT THE ACTUAL—" Todd blurted, eyes wide as dinner plates. The giant pumpkin cracked open, revealing...a man. A man? No, not just any man. He was dressed in a suit, covered in dirt, and holding a clipboard. "Excuse me," the man said, adjusting his tie like this was the most normal thing in the world, "I’m here to conduct the annual Pumpkin Patch Inspection. You two are trespassing." Evie stared, mouth agape, the kitten meowing in confused irritation. "You mean...this is about zoning regulations or something?" she asked, unable to process the absurdity of the moment. "Yes," the inspector said, flipping through his clipboard nonchalantly. "This patch is in violation of several autumnal codes. You’ll need to leave." Evie and Todd exchanged bewildered glances. This night had taken a turn that even Evie, in her wildest mysteries, couldn’t have imagined. "So, uh, no haunted pumpkin conspiracy then?" Evie asked. The inspector sighed. "No. Just poor agricultural planning." With that, the giant pumpkin closed back up, sinking into the ground as if nothing had happened. Evie stood there, utterly baffled, wondering what the hell she just witnessed. "Well," Todd finally muttered, "at least you got your answer." "Shut up, Todd."    Bring the Magic of "Crisp Leaves and Curious Eyes" Home If you're as enchanted by the whimsical charm and autumn magic of Evie and her fluffy feline companion as we are, you'll love these unique products featuring the stunning artwork "Crisp Leaves and Curious Eyes" by Bill and Linda Tiepelman. Perfect for adding a touch of autumn to your home or to give as a quirky gift! Autumn Tapestry – Hang a piece of fall magic on your wall with this beautifully detailed tapestry. Wood Print – Bring rustic autumn vibes to your space with this textured wood print. Puzzle – Get cozy on chilly nights while piecing together this fun, detailed autumn puzzle. Tote Bag – Carry a bit of autumn wonder with you wherever you go with this charming tote. Explore the full collection and bring the playful spirit of fall into your world with these delightful pieces!

by Bill Tiepelman

Shadow of the Crescent Curse

There’s something about cats and moonlight that always felt... magical. But not the fairy-tale kind of magic. No, we’re talking about the kind that comes with a side of eerie glowing eyes, a faint whiff of brimstone, and the unsettling feeling that you’ve just made a very, very poor life decision. Meet Lucifer—yes, that’s his name, and no, he didn’t pick it. Blame the witch who adopted him. Lucifer was your standard black cat: sleek fur, a disdain for humans, and a penchant for knocking over things you’d just organized. He had it all. Until one fateful Halloween night under the crescent moon, when things took a turn for the weird. The Devil's In The Details Lucifer, already burdened with a rather dramatic name, woke up feeling... different. His reflection in the mirror seemed off. Not because he was vain (though let’s be real, he looked good), but because two small, very noticeable devil horns were now poking through the fur on his head. "Cute, right?" said the witch, cackling in the background as she stirred something bubbling and green in her cauldron. “It’s just a little spell I whipped up.” Lucifer glared. Cute? He was a demon now. Well, at least a low-level one with horns and a newfound fondness for spooking anyone who dared cross his path. Fractals and Wings, Oh My! As if the horns weren’t enough, things escalated. Slowly but surely, swirling fractal wings began to emerge, glowing with a soft, eerie light. Oh yes, now he was a full-on mystical creature. His wings stretched out, crackling with subtle, semi-abstract patterns that looked like they had been plucked straight from a Salvador Dalí painting on a hallucinogenic trip. Lucifer admired his new additions. "Okay," he thought, "this might not be so bad." The wings gave him an air of mystery—a sort of "don’t mess with me, I’m probably cursed" vibe that even the witch seemed mildly impressed by. The Evil Grin Then came the grin. It started small, a twitch of the whiskers, a little gleam in his eyes. Soon, it grew into a full, devilish smirk that would give even the most hardened Halloween ghoul second thoughts. And that’s when Lucifer knew: this was his moment. As he prowled through the witch’s cobblestone courtyard, his new wings casting faint fractal shadows on the ground, Lucifer embraced his new devilish identity. He was a creature of the night now—part cat, part demon, all trouble. The villagers would whisper of the black cat with glowing wings, an evil grin, and the aura of curses. It was everything he never knew he wanted. A New Beginning Under the Crescent Moon So, there he sits, perched beneath the crescent moon, with devil horns and fractal wings that shimmer in the darkness. The witch calls it the Crescent Curse, but Lucifer prefers to think of it as an upgrade. Why settle for ordinary when you could be the most sinister, most cursed, and oddly cute creature to ever prowl the night? If you ever find yourself out on a cold autumn night, watch for the faint glow of fractal wings under the moonlight. If you’re lucky (or unlucky, depending on your perspective), you might just catch a glimpse of Lucifer flashing his evil grin. But be warned—cross his path, and you might end up part of his next trick. Or treat. Or both. Happy Haunting!   Bring a touch of Lucifer's mysterious charm to your daily routine with the Shadow of the Crescent Curse mouse pad. Featuring the captivating artwork of the demon cat with fractal wings and an ominous full moon backdrop, this mouse pad is perfect for those who love a little magic and mystery in their workspace. The smooth surface offers precision for both work and play, while the non-slip rubber base ensures stability even during the most intense tasks. Whether you're a gamer or just want to add a dash of supernatural flair to your desk, this mouse pad makes every click a little more enchanting. Ready to invite Lucifer to your desktop? Grab your mouse pad now and let the magic begin! Lucifer’s tale doesn’t have to end under the crescent moon. If his eerie charm, glowing wings, and mischievous grin have cast their spell on you, there’s more to explore. Step deeper into the magic and let this feline trickster accompany you beyond the page. Every detail of the artwork brings Lucifer’s unique blend of whimsy and mischief to life—waiting to find a new home. Discover the full collection and see how the Crescent Curse continues to unfold in all its enchanting forms. Catch a glimpse of Lucifer's next move here.

by Bill Tiepelman

Whispers of the Glade: A Fairy's Companion

In the heart of an enchanted glade, under the soft glow of the moon's silver light, a tender scene unfolds. A young fairy, with wings as elaborate as the most intricate butterfly, cradles her trusted companion, a gray tabby cat, in a gentle embrace. Her wings, a kaleidoscope of blues, greens, and purples, glimmer with the stardust of the cosmos, a silent testament to her deep bond with the mystical forces of nature. The fairy, whose large turquoise eyes sparkle with the clarity of spring waters, wears a smile that radiates a tranquility that soothes all creatures around her. Her dress, woven from the very essence of the forest's verdure, cloaks her in an aura of harmony, as if she were a sprout nurtured by the earth's tender care. A tiara, delicate as morning dew, adorns her hair, signifying her sovereignty over the magical domain she protects. In her arms, the tabby cat reposes with a serenity that only comes from unwavering trust. Its eyes, a reflection of the fairy's own, hold the secrets of their shared kinship. Together, they sit, a portrait of friendship and guardianship that transcends the ordinary, reaching into the soulful depths of companionship. The backdrop of this enchanted narrative is a nocturnal symphony, a tapestry of darkness where the celestial and the terrestrial compose a harmonious ode to the night. Within this realm, the luminous beings shine forth, a vivid contrast to the whispering shadows that caress the glade around them. This image, a snapshot of an everlasting covenant, tells a story of protective love and serene beauty within a realm where the whispers of nature speak of friendship and magic, and where every creature finds sanctuary in the guardian's tender care. Amid the celestial serenade of the glade, where starlight and shadow play in silent harmony, the fairy and her tabby confidant share whispers that transcend the spoken word. Her wings, alight with the dust of a thousand stars, beat in a gentle rhythm, a soft hum that complements the night's tranquil lullaby. Within the emerald sanctuary, the fairy's presence is a beacon of the life force that pulses through the glade. The flora around her, lush and resplendent, seem to lean towards her light, basking in the aura of her grace. Her crown, a mere whisper of the majesty she embodies, marks her as the arbiter of peace within this mystical domain. The cat, ensconced in her nurturing hold, purrs a melody of contentment and affection. Its fur, striped with the shades of the twilight, glistens with a subtle magic, a visible sign of the protective charm the fairy bestows upon her friend. In this hallowed grove, their bond is both a shield and a testament to the depth of their union. As the night deepens, the glade becomes a theater of dreams, where each leaf and blade of grass bears witness to the enduring covenant between guardian and companion. The fairy, a sentinel of the unseen and the unheard, weaves spells of protection that resonate in the gentle rustle of the trees and the quiet murmur of the brook. This visual chronicle, "Whispers of the Glade: A Fairy's Companion," captures not just the imagery but the essence of an alliance forged in magic and nurtured by the timeless dance of the cosmos. It is an ode to the unseen threads that connect every being in the tapestry of existence, illuminated by the fairy's luminescence and echoed in the cat's emerald gaze.     Stitch the enchantment of the mystical companionship with the Whispers of the Glade Cross Stitch Pattern. Each thread interwoven is a tribute to the fairy's majestic wings and the tender bond she shares with her tabby friend, bringing the magic of their glade into your home. Enliven your workspace with the Whispers of the Glade Mouse Pad. Every move of your mouse is accompanied by the fairy's tranquil presence, turning daily tasks into moments of serene reflection. Transform your living space with the tranquil beauty of the fairy realm by displaying the Whispers of the Glade Poster. Let the glow of the fairy's wings and the peaceful repose of her companion be a focal point that invites calm and wonder into your home. Adorn your room with the Whispers of the Glade Tapestry. This piece of art turns your living space into a portal to an enchanted world, wrapping you in the embrace of the glade's serene magic. Piece together the magic of the glade with the Whispers of the Glade Puzzle. Each piece is a step deeper into the story, allowing you to immerse yourself in the narrative's beauty and peace.

by Bill Tiepelman

Seraphic Softness on Quartz Sands

Under the luminous tapestry of Aetheria’s night sky, Lyr, the celestial guardian of Crystal Shore, sensed a stirring in the air—a whisper of something both ancient and new. Each evening, her role as the shepherd of stars and weaver of dreams was performed with a quiet certainty, but this night, a silent tremor passed through the land, unsettling the harmony she so tenderly maintained. The air, usually crisp with the scent of salt and starlight, was threaded with an unfamiliar aroma. It was sweet and cloying, a scent that did not belong to Aetheria, carrying with it a hint of shadow, a whisper of a realm forgotten. The Crystal Shore, responding to this dissonance, flickered hesitantly, its radiant glow dimming for the first time in centuries. The Mercurial Rabbits paused their playful cavorting, sensing the change; the Opaline Owls' songs faltered, a note of caution lacing their usual melodies. Lyr's sapphire gaze pierced the veil of night, seeking the source of the discord. Her wings, though still resplendent, shivered with a premonition. The balance of night, usually as reliable as the cycles of the moon, was wavering. From the horizon, where the sea swallowed the sun, a darkness approached, a shadow within the twilight. It was subtle, yet to Lyr, it was as conspicuous as a comet slicing through the firmament. The creatures of Aetheria gathered closer to Lyr, seeking the comfort of her radiant aura. The Crystal Illumination, their beacon in the night, now pulsed with an urgent rhythm, as if warning of an encroaching enigma. Lyr stood resolute, her wings unfurling to their full, breathtaking span. The patterns upon them began to swirl, a kaleidoscope of cosmic tales that now seemed to be searching for an ending yet to be written. As the shadow drew nearer, the sea’s waves grew taller, reaching like grasping fingers for the shore. But just as the first wave threatened to douse the glowing crystals, Lyr let out a powerful, sonorous purr that resonated through the land. The crystals blazed back to life with unprecedented brilliance, casting back the darkness, holding the wave at bay. For now, the threat was quelled, but questions lingered in the hearts of all. What was this shadow? A forgotten piece of the night or a harbinger of tales yet to unfold? "Seraphic Softness on Quartz Sands" no longer stood as just a testament to beauty and peace; it had become a beacon of the unknown, a prelude to a story that begged to be continued. The image, with its enigmatic guardian, now held a secret—a suspense that promised to draw the viewer not just into a world of magic, but into a tale of the unforeseen, the uncharted, and the undying light that protects it all. The saga of Lyr and her dominion remained serene yet no longer untouched by the shadows of mystery, inviting those who gaze upon her to wonder, to dream, and perhaps, to brace for the adventures that lay in the whispers of the night.     As the guardians of Aetheria stood united beneath Lyr's protective glow, a new kind of magic unfolded. This enchantment took form not only in the heart of the narrative but also in tangible treasures that anyone could bring into their home. The Seraphic Softness on Quartz Sands stickers became talismans against the creeping shadow, a reminder that there is light even in the presence of darkness, and beauty in the heart of mystery. The posters of the celestial guardian, placed upon the walls of many a wanderer, served as portals back to the crystal shores of Aetheria. They became beacons of hope and creativity, inspiring those who viewed them to seek the light, even when shadows loom at the horizon of their own stories. For those who wished to carry the essence of Lyr's sanctuary with them, the tote bags and pouches adorned with her image became vessels of her seraphic softness, carrying not just belongings but the promise of peace and protection in their threads. Even the pages of the Seraphic Softness spiral notebooks whispered with the possibility of Aetheria’s magic. They invited their owners to pen their own stories, perhaps of brave new worlds or serene landscapes, under the watchful eyes of Lyr, the eternal guardian of night's threshold. The legend of the guardian and her realm of Aetheria, suffused with the tension of the unknown, extends an invitation not just to imagine but to hold a piece of the story. Through these products, the tale of "Seraphic Softness on Quartz Sands" weaves into the fabric of reality, allowing anyone to grasp a fragment of the fantasy, a piece of the serenity, and a brush with the sublime.

by Bill Tiepelman

Purr-plexing Petals of the Primeval

In the whispered lore of Eldergrove, where trees stretch like ancient pillars holding up the sky, there exists a legend seldom spoken but deeply cherished—the legend of the Fractal Feline, guardian of the forest, named Purr-plexing Petals of the Primeval. Once, under the canopy of eternal twilight, the forest's heart pulsed with the glow of the twilight sun, filtering through leaves into beams of liquid gold. It was here, upon the bough of the Oldest Oak, that the Feline rested, its fractal ears unfurling like the petals of a mystic bloom, casting prismatic patterns on the mossy floor below. Each morning, the forest creatures would gather, gazing up in silent wonder, as the Feline's breath whispered through the leaves, carrying the wisdom of the ages. Its eyes, twin orbs alight with the fire of the dawn, flickered with scenes from forgotten tales and worlds unseen. The Feline's presence was an omen of peace; when it graced the Oldest Oak, the forest was serene, the rivers sang sweetly, and harmony reigned. But one day, as darkness threatened to claw at the edges of Eldergrove, the Feline vanished, leaving behind only the echo of its purr, woven into the wind. The creatures of Eldergrove, led by the bravest of them, a young fox named Ember, embarked on a quest. They searched through thicket and thorn, until at last, in the heart of the forest where shadows danced, they found the Feline caught in the web of an ancient curse. With hearts brave and true, they unraveled the dark magic, and the Feline's ears blossomed once more, unfurling in a brilliant spectacle of light and color, banishing the shadow that lurked at the forest's edge. And so, Purr-plexing Petals of the Primeval returned to the Oldest Oak, its fractal petals a beacon of hope, a symbol of the enduring magic that sleeps within the heart of Eldergrove, forever whispering tales of valor to those who dare to listen. The creatures of Eldergrove gathered, their spirits lifted by the presence of Petal, The Primeval Guardian, whose fractal petals now shimmered with celestial light. Among them, the youngest of the forest, a curious squirrel named Leaf, scampered forth, clutching something that glinted in the twilight. "What have you there, young Leaf?" Petal inquired, its voice as soft as the forest breeze. With bright eyes, Leaf uncurled its paws, revealing stickers and a small, rolled poster, both emblazoned with the likeness of Petal. "These are tokens of our tale, Guardian," Leaf chirped. "So that all may carry a piece of Eldergrove with them, no matter where they roam." Petal purred, a sound that rustled the leaves like gentle applause. "A fine idea, young one. Let the stickers be like seeds, spreading the essence of our forest far and wide. And may the poster be a window for those who yearn to glimpse into our enchanted realm." And so, the stickers traveled in pockets and on pouches, a symbol of unity and courage. The posters hung on walls, in homes, and in hearts, a constant reminder of the magic that thrives in the belief of the impossible. Eldergrove's tale, like its guardian's fractals, would spiral outwards, touching lives and inspiring the hearts of many.

by Bill Tiepelman

Paws and Auras: The Forest's Luminescent Guardian

In the heart of the twilight woods, where the trees whispered ancient secrets and the wind sang lullabies of old, there thrived a creature of legend, a kitten with wings crafted from the very essence of the forest. Its name was whispered from leaf to leaf, known only as the Luminescent Guardian. The Guardian's days were spent perched upon a gnarled yew, which stood as a sentinel at the forest's edge. With wings unfurled, delicate as lace and radiant as the first blush of dawn, it watched over its realm with eyes like moonlit pools. One dusky evening, as the stars began their nightly vigil, a lost traveler stumbled upon the Guardian's domain. Weary from his journey and mesmerized by the sight before him, he stood in silent awe as the kitten’s wings began to shimmer with a celestial light, casting patterns on the forest floor that danced like fireflies at a midsummer’s festival. Compelled by a force he could not name, the traveler followed the luminescent trails. With each step, the weight of his burdens seemed to lift, and the forest's magic seeped into his weary bones, imbuing him with a newfound strength. The trails led him to a clearing where the trees parted to reveal the night sky in all its splendor. It was there, under the silver tapestry of the cosmos, that he found the answers he sought—not voiced in words, but in the silent song of the forest, a melody of light and shadow. The Guardian, sensing its purpose fulfilled, nuzzled the traveler's hand before taking flight, its fractal wings leaving a wake of stardust. And as the first light of dawn peeked through the trees, the traveler set forth, no longer lost, his path illuminated by the enchanting encounter with the forest's luminescent guardian. In the days that followed, the traveler, now known as the Chosen, found himself carrying the essence of the forest within his soul. The encounter with the Guardian had left a gentle but indelible mark, an aura visible only to those who believed in the old magic. He ventured through villages and over hills, sharing tales of the kitten with fractal wings. With each story told, the Chosen wove a thread of the forest’s enchantment into the fabric of the world beyond. The wings of the Guardian became a symbol, a herald of hope, of unity with the earth and its ancient wisdom. Children listened with rapt attention, their eyes wide with wonder, as the Chosen described how the Guardian's wings could refract the purest light into a spectrum of possibilities, each hue a different path in life's grand tapestry. And in every place he visited, the Chosen left behind a small, intricately designed sticker, a replica of the Guardian’s wings that glowed when moonlight touched its surface. The stickers became coveted treasures, talismans that sparked creativity and inspired those who possessed them to seek the magic in their everyday lives. And for those weary souls burdened by doubt and despair, a glance at the luminous wings was enough to remind them that there was still wonder in the world, that they too could find their own light, their own path. Over time, the legend of the Luminescent Guardian grew, its story traveling on the lips of bards and the canvases of artists. Posters of the Guardian adorned the walls of homes and taverns, each one a portal to the twilight woods, a silent invitation to visit in dreams and in tales. And though the Guardian remained a recluse, the symbol of its existence became omnipresent, a guidepost for the lost, a beacon for the seekers, and a silent promise that magic, indeed, was real and within reach for those who dared to look. And so, the legend of the Luminescent Guardian wove its way into the fabric of countless lives. Those who wished to keep a piece of this magic close could do so. The exquisite posters and stickers, crafted with the same attention to detail and mystical aura as the Guardian itself, were sought after by believers and dreamers alike. They could be found at unfocussed.com, a trove for those seeking the enchanted artifacts. Posters of "Paws and Auras: The Forest's Luminescent Guardian" graced the walls of those yearning for inspiration, acting as a window into the verdant, twilight realm. Meanwhile, the stickers found their way into the hands of adventurers and creators, becoming emblems of identity and creativity affixed to their treasured possessions. These could be acquired from the same mystical source at the Paws and Auras Stickers page. The magic of the Guardian was not just a tale to be told but an experience to be lived. Through these tangible pieces of art, the essence of the forest's protector would forever cast its radiant light, reminding all of the endless possibilities that lie in the pursuit of the extraordinary.

by Bill Tiepelman

A Tale of Fire and Whiskers

In a realm where the whispers of the ancient world still echo through the halls of time, there lay a library unlike any other. This was the Enchanted Library of Eldoria, a place where the air shimmered with magic, and the shadows held secrets of a thousand lifetimes. The guardian of this sacred trove was Azuron, the Grand Dragon, whose scales shimmered with the wisdom of the ages and whose eyes glowed like the embers of the universe. Azuron was not just a protector; he was a part of the library's very essence, a living testament to the histories and mysteries housed within its walls. But within the heart of this majestic silence, there was a stir—a gentle, unassuming presence that had, against all odds, made a home in the labyrinthine expanse of the library. Seraphina, a kitten with fur as soft as the whisper of the wind and eyes deep as the night sky, had wandered into Azuron's domain. With no past to speak of, nor a story to her name, she became the dragon's silent companion, sharing in the quietude and grandeur of the ancient hall. The story of Azuron and Seraphina is a tale of contrasts and commonalities, a symphony woven from the threads of the unlikely and the eternal. It's a narrative we've captured in the heart-stirring "A Tale of Fire and Whiskers" Poster, where the vibrant essence of their companionship is immortalized for you to bring into your own sanctuaries and spaces. Their days unfolded like the pages of an unwritten book. Azuron, with the patience of eons, would watch over the library’s treasures, while Seraphina, with the curiosity of the new, explored every nook and cranny, her silent footsteps a gentle counterpoint to the dragon’s resonant heartbeat. Together, they maintained the balance of the Enchanted Library, a silent agreement between fire and whisker, scale and fur, might and innocence. One evening, as the twilight danced its way into the library, casting long shadows over stone and tome, a peculiar event unfolded. A lone traveler, weary and worn from the world beyond, stumbled upon the library’s hidden entrance. It was in this moment of unintended intrusion that the true essence of Azuron and Seraphina's guardianship came to light. With a grace that belied his immense power, Azuron confronted the intruder, his presence a towering inferno of silent warning. Yet, it was the gentle nudge of Seraphina, the soft purring creature of peace, that ultimately guided the lost soul, showing him the path back to the world he knew. This poignant moment, a delicate balance between the grandiose and the gentle, inspired the creation of the "A Tale of Fire and Whiskers" Mouse Pad, a piece that brings the essence of their story to your everyday endeavors, turning mundane moments into passages of an untold fairy tale. As seasons changed within the world beyond the Enchanted Library, inside, time seemed to stand still, with Azuron and Seraphina continuing their silent vigil. But their story, woven from the threads of an unspoken bond, began to stir the hearts of those who heard it, transcending the walls of the library to touch the lives of many. In honor of their tale, craftsmen from distant lands, moved by the story of the dragon and the kitten, created the "A Tale of Fire and Whiskers" Diamond Art Pattern. This intricate design invites you to become a part of their world, to weave your own magic into the tapestry of their story, creating a masterpiece that echoes the beauty and mystery of their silent symphony. The tale of Azuron and Seraphina is more than just a story; it's a reminder of the unexpected friendships that can arise in our own lives, of the beauty that exists in the contrasts and the commonalities that define us. Through the "A Tale of Fire and Whiskers" collection, we invite you to bring a piece of their world into yours, to find the magic in the quiet moments, and the wonder in the spaces between. If this tale has stirred your spirit or sparked a desire to bring a piece of their world into your own, explore the "A Tale of Fire and Whiskers" Poster, Mouse Pad, Cross Stitch Pattern and Diamond Art Pattern. Let the magic of Azuron and Seraphina's story inspire your days and remind you of the power of silent bonds and the beauty of found friendships.