dragon backstory

by Bill Tiepelman

Lost in a World Too Big

The first thing Fizzlebop noticed upon hatching was that the world was entirely too loud, too bright, and too full of things that did not immediately cater to his needs. A terrible injustice, really. He blinked his enormous blue eyes, stretching his stubby wings with an exasperated sigh. The nest was empty. His siblings had hatched before him, leaving behind only cracked eggshells and a lingering warmth. How typical. They never waited for him. "Ugh," he muttered, dragging his tiny tail across the soft moss. "Abandoned at birth. Tragic." Fizzlebop attempted to stand, only to topple forward, his little claws scrabbling against the ground. "Oh yes, very majestic. Future ruler of the skies, right here," he grumbled, rolling onto his back. "Might as well leave me here to perish." The sky above him was a swirl of pastels, stars twinkling like they had something to be smug about. "Don't just sit there looking all mysterious," he huffed at them. "Help me!" The stars, as expected, did not assist. With a great effort, he managed to sit upright, his wings flaring dramatically for balance. He squinted into the distance, where flickering firelight suggested the rest of his nestmates were already feasting with their mother. "Of course they started without me," he muttered. "Because why wouldn't they?" Then, just to test if life was truly out to get him, Fizzlebop attempted to take a single confident step forward. His foot met a particularly devious rock, and he promptly face-planted. "Oh, I see how it is," he growled, flopping onto his side. "Fine. I'll just stay here. Alone. Forever. Probably get eaten by something big and toothy." Something rustled nearby. Fizzlebop froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned his head—only to come face to face with a fox. A very hungry-looking fox. The fox tilted its head, clearly confused by the sight of a baby dragon glaring up at it with an expression of profound irritation. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, overgrown rodent," he said, voice full of bratty confidence. "I am a dragon. A creature of legend. A force of nature." He puffed up his chest. "I will breathe fire upon you." Silence. The fox remained unimpressed. Fizzlebop inhaled deeply, ready to unleash his terrifying flame… and promptly sneezed. A pathetic little spark fizzled into the air. The fox blinked. Fizzlebop blinked. Then, with a sigh, he flopped onto his back and groaned. "Fine. Just eat me and get it over with." Instead of attacking, the fox sniffed him once, let out an unimpressed huff, and trotted away. "Yeah, that's right," Fizzlebop called after it. "Run, coward!" He lay there for a moment longer before muttering, "I didn't want to be eaten anyway." Then, grumbling to himself, he got back onto his feet and stomped toward the firelight, ready to make a dramatic entrance and demand his rightful place at the feast. Because if he was going to suffer in this unfair world, the least he could do was make everyone else suffer with him.     Fizzlebop marched—well, wobbled—toward the glow of the firelight, muttering under his breath about betrayal, neglect, and the sheer injustice of being the last to hatch. His tiny claws crunched against the frost-covered ground, his tail flicking dramatically with each exaggerated step. “Oh yes, just leave the baby behind,” he grumbled. “Forget about poor, defenseless Fizzlebop. Not like I could have been eaten or anything.” He paused and shuddered. “By a fox. A fox, of all things.” The campfire flickered ahead, surrounded by his siblings, who were rolling around in a pile of meat scraps like the uncultured beasts they were. Their mother, a great silver dragon with molten gold eyes, lay nearby, preening her wings, looking—for lack of a better word—smug. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. They had noticed his absence. They just hadn’t cared. Well. That would not stand. He inhaled deeply, summoning every ounce of injustice and rage within his tiny frame, and let out a battle cry: “HOW DARE YOU.” The entire nest froze. His siblings blinked at him, meat dangling from their stupid little jaws. His mother arched an elegant brow. Fizzlebop stomped forward. “Do you have ANY idea what I have been through?” he demanded, wings flaring. “Do you know the STRUGGLES I have faced?” Silence. Fizzlebop did not care. He was going to tell them anyway. “First of all, I was abandoned,” he declared. “Cast out, left to suffer, forced to hatch in solitude like some tragic hero in a forgotten legend.” He placed a claw against his chest, looking to the heavens. “And then! As if that weren’t bad enough—” His mother exhaled loudly through her nose. “Fizzlebop, you hatched twenty minutes late.” Fizzlebop gasped. “Twenty minutes? Oh, I see. So I should just be grateful that my own family left me to perish in the cruel, unfeeling wilds?!” His mother stared at him. His siblings stared at him. One of them, a chubby dragon named Soot, licked his eyeball. Fizzlebop groaned. “You absolute buffoons.” He marched straight to the pile of meat, sat his tiny, frostbitten rear down, and grabbed the largest scrap he could find. “You’re all terrible, and I hate you,” he declared before stuffing his face. His mother sighed and stretched her wings. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Fizzlebop waved a dismissive claw. “Yes, yes, I’m adorable, I’m a delight, I’m a gift to this family.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But also, you should all suffer for your crimes.” His mother huffed a plume of smoke, which he chose to interpret as deep shame and regret. His belly now full, Fizzlebop curled into the warm pile of his siblings, who accepted his presence with the kind of easygoing obliviousness only dragons (and very stupid people) could manage. And as he drifted off to sleep, his mother’s tail curling around them for warmth, Fizzlebop allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smirk. For all his righteous suffering… being part of a family wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Probably.     Take Fizzlebop Home! Love Fizzlebop’s adorable mischief? Bring this tiny dragon into your life with stunning prints and merchandise! Whether you want to add some whimsical charm to your home or carry a piece of dragon-sized attitude with you, we’ve got you covered: 🖼️ Acrylic Prints – For a sleek, high-gloss way to showcase Fizzlebop’s expressive pout. 🎭 Tapestries – Transform any space into a fantasy realm with a larger-than-life baby dragon. 👜 Tote Bags – Carry your essentials in style, and let everyone know you're as dramatic as Fizzlebop. 💌 Greeting Cards – Send a message with maximum sarcasm and cuteness. Get yours now and let Fizzlebop bring his bratty charm into your world! 🔥🐉

by Bill Tiepelman

Azure Eyes of the Celestial Dragon

In a galaxy not too far away, on a planet called Luminaris—a place that looked like an interstellar disco ball on acid—there hatched a peculiar baby dragon. His name? Glitterwing the Fourth. Not because there were three dragons before him (there weren’t), but because his mother, Queen Frostmaw the Shimmering, had a flair for drama and thought numbers made things sound royal. Glitterwing, however, had other opinions. He liked his nickname better: Steve. Steve's Grand Entrance Steve’s birth wasn’t exactly a serene, mystical moment. He cracked out of his egg with all the grace of a squirrel on caffeine, flailing his tiny limbs, his metallic scales catching the light like a disco ball having an existential crisis. His first words weren’t poetic, either. They were something along the lines of, “Ugh, this light is awful, and what is that smell?!” From the moment he hatched, Steve had one glaringly unique feature: his impossibly large, strikingly blue eyes. While most dragon hatchlings looked like a mix between a kitten and a medieval weapon, Steve looked like a giant plush toy with an attitude problem. He immediately became the center of attention in the dragon kingdom, which, as you can imagine, annoyed him to no end. “Can we all stop gawking like I’m the last pastry at the buffet? I’m just a dragon, not a fireworks display.” Destined for Greatness? Nah, Just Hungry. The elders of the dragon council, a group of ancient reptiles who spent most of their time arguing about whose hoard was shinier, declared that Steve was destined for greatness. “His scales glitter like the stars, and his eyes pierce the soul!” they proclaimed. Steve, however, had other plans. “Cool story, Grandpa, but does greatness come with snacks? Because I’m starving.” Steve quickly developed a reputation for his biting wit and his insatiable appetite. While most dragons his age were practicing fire breathing, Steve was perfecting the art of sarcastic commentary. “Oh, look, another fire-breathing competition. How original. Why don’t we try something new, like, I don’t know, competitive napping?” The Misadventures Begin Steve’s snarky attitude didn’t exactly make him popular with his peers. One particularly jealous dragonling, Blaze, challenged him to a duel. “Prepare to meet your doom, Glitterwing!” Blaze roared. Steve didn’t even flinch. “Okay, but can we schedule this after lunch? I have priorities.” When the duel finally happened, Steve won—not with strength, but by making Blaze laugh so hard he fell over and rolled into a pile of mud. “See? Humor is the real weapon,” Steve said, polishing his claws nonchalantly. Despite his reluctance, Steve’s fame grew. Adventurers from distant lands came to see the "Celestial Dragon" with the sapphire eyes. Steve found this both flattering and exhausting. “Great, another group of humans pointing sticks at me and calling them ‘weapons.’ Can someone at least bring me a sandwich this time?” The Day Steve Saved the Kingdom (Accidentally) Steve’s most famous misadventure occurred when a rival kingdom sent a group of knights to steal the dragons' treasures. While the other dragons were busy preparing for battle, Steve was busy eating his weight in moonberries. The knights stormed into the dragon cave, only to find Steve lounging on a pile of gold. “Oh, look, more tin cans. What do you guys want? Directions to the nearest McDragon’s?” The knights, thinking Steve’s enormous eyes and shimmering scales were some sort of godly warning, panicked. One knight screamed, “It’s the divine dragon of doom!” and fled. The others followed, tripping over each other in their haste. Steve blinked, confused. “Wait, that worked? Huh. Maybe I am destined for greatness. Or maybe they just didn’t want to deal with a dragon who looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks.” The Legend Lives On These days, Steve spends his time napping on his hoard (which mostly consists of shiny rocks and discarded armor) and coming up with increasingly sarcastic remarks for nosy adventurers. He’s still the talk of the kingdom, much to his annoyance. “I’m not a hero,” he insists. “I’m just a dragon who happens to look fabulous.” But deep down, Steve enjoys the attention—just a little. After all, who wouldn’t want to be a glittering icon with piercing azure eyes and a knack for making knights wet their pants?     Bring Steve Home: Celestial Dragon-Inspired Products Can't get enough of Steve's snarky charm and shimmering brilliance? Now, you can bring a piece of his celestial magic into your own home with these exclusive products: Dragon Tapestry: Adorn your walls with Steve’s radiant glory, perfect for transforming any room into a mystical lair. Canvas Print: A high-quality art piece showcasing Steve’s celestial aura, ideal for dragon lovers and fantasy enthusiasts. Throw Pillow: Cozy up with Steve’s enchanting presence, a whimsical addition to your living space. Dragon Puzzle: Piece together Steve’s mesmerizing features with this fun and challenging puzzle, perfect for quiet evenings or dragon-loving gatherings. Embrace the magic of the celestial dragon and let Steve’s legacy light up your life—one sparkling scale at a time.

by Bill Tiepelman

The Dragon of the Christmas Grove

Long before Santa Claus got fat, and elves unionized for better candy-cane breaks, there was another story of Christmas magic—a legend buried deep in the frosted forests and whispered only on the longest, coldest nights. The Beginning of the End… Or Something Like That Once upon a decidedly hungover December morning, the world almost ended. See, humans—being humans—accidentally broke Christmas. Someone tried summoning a "Yuletide Spirit" with one too many Pinterest-y candles, a dash of clove, and a Latin incantation they absolutely mispronounced. Instead of a cozy Hallmark miracle, the spell ripped open a glowing crack in the universe and out popped a dragon. Not a metaphorical dragon. Not a cute, cartoon dragon you’d knit sweaters for. Oh no. This dragon was glorious and also mildly ticked off. Its scales gleamed a vicious green and red—so festive it looked like it should sit on top of a tree. Instead, it perched atop the shattered remnants of its giant ornament-egg and said, in a deep, gravelly voice: “WHO. SUMMONED. ME?” The forest fell silent. Even the squirrels paused mid-nut. Somewhere, a snowman fainted. Unfortunately, the answer was: nobody. Like most human problems, the summoning had been a group effort involving Karen from HR’s holiday party antics and Greg’s terrible idea of making a “pagan bonfire moment.” “Ugh,” the dragon said, looking around with eyes that flickered like Christmas lights on the fritz. “What century is this? Why does everything smell like peppermint and regret?” Enter: A Hero (Sort Of) This is where Marvin comes in. Marvin was not brave. He was not handsome. He was not even particularly sober. He was just a guy who’d wandered into the woods after his cousins roasted his ugly Christmas sweater. Marvin, clutching his half-empty eggnog, stumbled upon the dragon. “Whoa,” Marvin said. “That’s… that’s a big lizard.” “Excuse me?” said the dragon, its wings flaring dramatically. Marvin squinted up at it, swaying a little. “Are you, like, a metaphor for capitalism?” “I AM CALDERYX, DESTROYER OF WORLDS!” the dragon roared, snowflakes swirling wildly around it. “...AND POSSIBLY A HOLIDAY MIRACLE, IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT.” Marvin frowned, thinking hard. “So… you’re here to ruin Christmas?” “Oh no,” Caldyrex replied. “I’m here to fix it. Humanity has clearly forgotten how to celebrate properly. You’ve turned it into cheap sweaters, lukewarm fruitcake, and terrible carols sung in high-pitched nasal tones.” Marvin blinked. “I mean, yeah. That tracks.” The Dragon’s Christmas Reform Plan What followed was the weirdest Christmas Eve of all time. With Marvin as his reluctant wingman, Caldyrex instituted his Great Christmas Overhaul, or as Marvin called it, “Festivus for the Damned.” Step 1: Ban the song “Feliz Navidad” after its third repeat. Step 2: Melt every fruitcake into a gooey lava pit for good measure. Step 3: Replace fake Christmas cheer with something better. “What’s better?” Marvin asked, confused. Caldyrex exhaled a plume of fire that ignited a nearby pine tree into a blazing spectacle of light and shadow. “Chaos. And also real joy. Have you ever seen someone open an unexpected gift and scream ‘HOW DID YOU KNOW?’ That’s Christmas, Marvin. THAT'S MAGIC.” Marvin couldn’t argue with that. The Surprise Ending At midnight, Caldyrex declared his mission complete. People across the village woke up to find mysterious, personalized gifts on their porches. Karen from HR got noise-cancelling headphones. Greg got a Latin dictionary and a restraining order from all bonfires. And Marvin? Marvin woke up in his living room to a brand-new sweater—one that said “The Dragon’s Favorite Human.” He smiled, despite himself. As for Caldyrex, the dragon slipped back into his ornament-egg with a satisfied sigh. “Until next year, Marvin,” he said, disappearing into a burst of golden light. “Keep the magic alive.” Marvin raised his eggnog in salute. “Merry Christmas, big guy.” The Moral of the Legend Every Christmas since, the legend of Caldyrex has spread in hushed, slightly tipsy tones. If your holiday feels too predictable—if you’ve heard “Jingle Bell Rock” one time too many—keep an eye out for a shimmering ornament that seems to hum with its own warmth. Because sometimes, Christmas magic isn’t soft and twinkly. Sometimes, it’s a dragon that yells at you to do better. And honestly, we probably deserve it.    Bring the Legend Home If you’ve fallen in love with the story of Caldyrex, The Dragon of the Christmas Grove, you can bring a little magic (and snarky holiday cheer) into your home. Explore these featured products inspired by the legendary scene: Tapestry: Transform your walls with the glow and grandeur of the Christmas Dragon. Canvas Print: A stunning masterpiece to capture the magic year-round. Puzzle: Piece together the legend one glowing scale at a time. Greeting Card: Send a little holiday chaos with a dragon-approved message. Celebrate the season with a twist of magic and a dash of fire. Caldyrex would approve.

by Bill Tiepelman

The Littlest Flame: A Dragon's Heartwarming Beginnings

In the vast kingdom of Elderwyn, home to towering castles, enchanted forests, and creatures of legend, something extraordinary happened one quiet morning. No, it wasn’t the usual kind of extraordinary—the kind with knights rescuing maidens or wizards hurling fireballs. This was different. This was the day that a very small, very adorable dragon decided to make its debut. Meet Smidge. And yes, that’s exactly what he was—a smidge of a dragon, no bigger than a loaf of bread. But don’t let the size fool you. Smidge had big dreams, despite being born in the smallest egg of the clutch. His brothers and sisters had all hatched into impressive little fire-breathers, already causing minor property damage to the local village (a rite of passage for any dragon, really). Smidge, however, had yet to produce more than a puff of smoke and some particularly aggressive hiccups. “You’ll get there, Smidge,” his mother, a glorious red-scaled dragon named Seraphina, would say in her deep, echoing voice. “It just takes time.” Smidge wasn’t so sure. While his siblings were off practicing their flame control, he was busy... well, trying not to trip over his own feet. His legs seemed too long for his body, his wings flapped more like a startled chicken’s than anything majestic, and his fire? Let’s just say no marshmallows were getting roasted any time soon. The Quest for Fire (And Not Burning Himself in the Process) Determined to prove himself, Smidge set off on a mission. It wasn’t a typical “slay the knight, hoard the treasure” kind of mission. No, Smidge had something much simpler in mind: learn to breathe fire without sneezing. It was a modest goal, but you had to start somewhere. He waddled out of the cave early one morning, waving goodbye to his siblings, who were busy setting a small forest on fire (totally accidental, of course). Smidge’s journey was one of discovery. He needed to find a quiet spot, away from distractions, where he could really focus on his fire-breathing technique. “Ah, here we go,” Smidge muttered, stumbling upon a clearing in the forest. It was peaceful, with the sun filtering through the trees, birds chirping, and most importantly, nothing that could accidentally catch fire—except maybe a few shrubs, but sacrifices had to be made. Smidge squared his little shoulders, took a deep breath, and... poof. A tiny puff of smoke escaped his nostrils. Well, it was better than last time, when nothing but a few weak sparks fizzled out. He puffed his chest out, feeling rather proud. “Alright, let’s go again,” he said, this time putting every bit of effort he had into it. He inhaled deeply, focused, and—achoo! The sneeze came out of nowhere, and with it, a burst of flame that wasn’t quite forward-facing. Instead, the flames engulfed his own tail. “Yow!” Smidge yelped, hopping in circles, frantically patting out the flames with his tiny claws. After a few minutes of awkward tail-chasing, the fire was out, but his pride had taken a hit. “That,” he muttered, “could have gone better.” Making Friends (or, How Not to Burn Bridges) Despite the hiccups (and sneezes), Smidge wasn’t about to give up. He just needed a bit of help—some guidance. And so, he set off deeper into the forest, hoping to find someone who might teach him the ancient art of dragon fire-breathing. What he found instead... was Barry. Barry was a troll. Not the menacing, bridge-guarding kind of troll, though. No, Barry was more of a “tree-hugging, amateur painter” kind of troll. He stood about 12 feet tall, with moss growing on his back and a pair of reading glasses perched precariously on the end of his bulbous nose. “Hi!” Smidge chirped, looking up at the towering troll. “I’m Smidge. Can you help me learn to breathe fire?” Barry squinted down at the tiny dragon, one mossy eyebrow raised. “Fire, you say? Hm. Not really my specialty, kid. I’m more into watercolors.” He gestured to a nearby easel, where an interpretive painting of what Smidge assumed was a tree stood. It mostly looked like a blob with branches. “Oh,” Smidge said, his tiny wings drooping. “Well... thanks anyway.” Barry sighed, scratching his head. “Look, kid, I may not know much about fire-breathing, but I do know about practice. That’s what painting is, really. Practice. You just gotta keep at it. Eventually, you’ll figure it out.” Smidge tilted his head, considering the troll’s advice. “Practice, huh? That’s it?” “Yep,” Barry replied with a shrug. “And, uh, maybe don’t set yourself on fire next time.” Smidge couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I’ll try not to.” The Littlest Flame Ignites With Barry’s advice echoing in his head, Smidge returned to his clearing and tried again. Days passed, and though his flames were still small and sputtering, they were growing. He only set his tail on fire twice more, and there were no major forest fires—just a few smoking bushes. One evening, as the sun began to set, Smidge felt different. He had been practicing all day, and though he was tired, something inside him felt ready. He stood tall (well, as tall as a baby dragon could), focused on the horizon, and took the deepest breath yet. Flame surged from his mouth, a beautiful, controlled stream of fire that lit up the sky in shades of gold and red. Smidge blinked in surprise. Had he just... done it? “I DID IT!” he shouted, hopping up and down in excitement. “I’M A REAL DRAGON!” At that moment, his mother appeared, her massive wings casting a shadow over the clearing. “I knew you could do it,” she said proudly, watching her littlest flame with a smile. “You just needed to find your spark.” The Future of the Littlest Flame And so, with his newfound fire-breathing ability, Smidge became a legend in his own right—not for his size, but for his heart. He wasn’t the biggest or the most powerful dragon in Elderwyn, but he was certainly the most determined. And that, as any dragon will tell you, is the secret to greatness. As for Barry, well, he continued painting his abstract masterpieces. Smidge, now a proud fire-breathing dragon, made sure to stop by every now and then to check in on his favorite troll, usually offering him a little flame to dry his watercolors. Because that’s what friends are for—helping each other, whether with flames, brushes, or a little bit of encouragement. Smidge might have started as the littlest flame, but he knew one thing for sure: the world was about to see just how bright even the smallest dragon could shine.    Bring a Piece of Smidge's World Home If the heartwarming adventures of Smidge, the littlest flame, brightened your day, why not bring a bit of that joy into your own space? Whether you’re looking for something whimsical to decorate your home or a playful gift for someone special, we’ve got just the right items to capture Smidge’s charm. The Littlest Flame Puzzle – Piece together the adorable world of Smidge, one puzzle piece at a time. It’s the perfect way to relax while celebrating the little dragon who lights up our hearts. The Littlest Flame Tote Bag – Carry a bit of Smidge’s playful spirit with you wherever you go. This tote is perfect for your everyday essentials, and it comes with an extra dash of dragon-sized cuteness! The Littlest Flame Tapestry – Transform your space with this vibrant tapestry featuring Smidge, the little dragon with a big heart. Perfect for adding a whimsical touch to any room! The Littlest Flame Metal Print – Elevate your decor with this stunning metal print. Smidge’s colorful world will shine beautifully on your walls, capturing the spirit of adventure and fun. Each product brings Smidge’s delightful story to life, making it easy to keep his uplifting energy around you. Whether it's a puzzle for a quiet afternoon or a tote bag for your daily adventures, Smidge is ready to brighten your world. Explore more at Unfocussed Shop!

by Bill Tiepelman

Laughing with Dragons: A Gnome's Joyful Moment

In a forest where the trees never stop gossiping and the mushrooms grow as tall as your ego, there lived a gnome named Grimble Bottomsworth. Grimble wasn’t just your average gnome—oh no, he was the gnome who could out-laugh a banshee, out-drink a troll, and out-flirt a tree nymph (not that the nymphs appreciated it). Sitting atop his favorite oversized toadstool, he was having one of his famous chuckling fits. But this time, he had a new partner in crime: a baby dragon named Snarky. Now, Snarky wasn’t your typical dragon. For starters, he was about the size of a house cat and didn’t breathe fire, but he did occasionally burp out something that smelled worse than an ogre’s armpit. Snarky flapped his tiny wings, perched in Grimble's grubby hand, puffing out his chest like he was the king of this absurdly colorful jungle. Grimble cackled. “Look at this little bugger! Thinks he’s fierce! Ha! You couldn’t roast a marshmallow if it begged ya, could ya, Snarky?” Snarky, feeling the insult (or maybe just responding to Grimble’s constant stench of ale and mushroom stew), let out a tiny, yet surprisingly sharp, flame that singed a bit of Grimble’s beard. The gnome paused, blinked, and then erupted into laughter so hearty that a nearby squirrel dropped its acorn in shock. “Oi! That’s the best ya got? My granny’s breath is hotter than that, and she’s been dead for forty years!” Grimble slapped his knee, almost tipping off the toadstool as his leathery boots dangled in the air. “Bloody brilliant!” The Unfortunate Toadstool Incident As Grimble kept laughing, his mushroom throne gave a low groan. You see, toadstools aren’t exactly made to support the weight of a gnome who spent most of his life binge-eating pies and downing mead. With a rather unceremonious squelch, the toadstool gave way, collapsing beneath Grimble’s rotund rear with a fart-like noise that echoed through the forest. “Well, bugger me sideways!” Grimble exclaimed as he found himself flat on his back, surrounded by the remnants of what was once his beloved mushroom seat. “That toadstool didn’t stand a chance, did it? Too much ale and… well, let’s just say I’ve had a few more pies than I should’ve.” Snarky let out a snicker, which was an odd sound coming from a dragon, but it seemed fitting. The tiny dragon flapped his wings, hovering just above Grimble’s beard, which had now caught a few mushroom chunks. “Oi! You laughing at me, ya scaly little fart?” Grimble grunted, wiping his hands on his tunic, smearing dirt and mushroom bits across it. “Bloody hell, this place is a mess. I look like a drunk dwarf after a wedding feast. Not that I’m much better at weddings either… well, not after what happened last time.” He trailed off, muttering something about a goat and too much wine. A Foul Bet “Tell ya what, Snarky,” Grimble said, still sprawled on the ground, one leg draped over a broken mushroom stalk, “if you can manage to burn that there big ol’ mushroom,” he pointed to a colossal red-capped toadstool about ten feet away, “I’ll get ya all the roasted rabbits you can stomach. But if you fail, you’ve gotta clean my boots for a month! And trust me, they smell worse than a troll after a spa day.” Snarky narrowed his eyes and let out a determined growl that sounded more like a hiccup. He swooped down to the ground, planted his tiny claws, and puffed up his chest. With a snort, he unleashed a pathetic puff of smoke that dissipated in the wind faster than Grimble’s last bit of dignity. “Oh, come on! My piss after a night at the tavern’s got more heat than that!” Grimble guffawed, rolling over and clutching his belly. “Looks like you’ll be lickin’ my boots clean, mate!” Snarky, thoroughly annoyed, darted forward and clamped his tiny jaws onto Grimble’s nose. It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but just enough to make the gnome yelp. “Oi! You cheeky bastard!” Grimble yelped, pulling the dragon off his face and glaring at him, though the effect was lost because he was still laughing. “Alright, alright, I’ll give ya a rabbit anyway, ya little shit.” He scratched the back of his head and let out a deep sigh, the kind only someone who’s eaten one too many pies could muster. The Aftermath As the day wore on, Grimble and Snarky settled into their usual routine of half-hearted bickering, mushroom-smashing, and general forest chaos. Despite their insults and shenanigans, they made quite the pair—both oddballs in their own right, united by their love of mischief and the fact that neither of them could take life (or each other) too seriously. And so, in the heart of the enchanted forest, with his belly full of pie and his beard smelling faintly of burnt mushrooms, Grimble Bottomsworth spent his days laughing with dragons, farting on mushrooms, and reminding anyone who crossed his path that even in a world full of magic, sometimes the best thing you can do is sit back, have a laugh, and let the dragon bite your nose when you've earned it. “Here’s to another day of nonsense,” Grimble said, raising his flask to Snarky, “and may your farts never be hotter than your breath, ya useless little lizard.” Snarky burped in response. “Atta boy.”     Bring the Whimsy Home! If you enjoyed Grimble’s wild antics and Snarky’s mischief, you can bring a piece of this magical world into your own! Check out these delightful products featuring "Laughing with Dragons: A Gnome's Joyful Moment": Jigsaw Puzzle – Perfect for piecing together Grimble’s hilarious adventures while enjoying some leisurely fun. Acrylic Print – Elevate your space with a vibrant, high-quality acrylic print that captures every laugh and mushroom fart in stunning detail. Greeting Card – Share a bit of Grimble’s joy with friends and family through whimsical greeting cards that feature this fantastical scene. Don’t miss out on these enchanting collectibles! Whether you’re a fan of puzzles or looking to brighten someone’s day with a card, these products bring the magic to life in your hands.  

by Bill Tiepelman

Embers of Friendship

In a mystical forest where every leaf seemed to be on fire—not metaphorically, but literally—an unusual pair floated in the shallow waters of a glowing river: a baby phoenix named Fluff, and a tiny dragon named Sizzle. And no, this wasn’t some grand, legendary meeting between two majestic creatures destined to save the world. Nope. These two could barely save themselves from a sneeze. "Why do we even hang out here?" Sizzle asked, his stubby claws swirling the water around them. "The river’s basically lava, the trees are exploding with fire leaves every ten seconds, and I swear that squirrel tried to set my tail on fire earlier. I don’t think we're safe!" Fluff puffed up his already ridiculously fluffy feathers and looked at his dragon friend with a calm, unbothered expression. "Relax, Sizzle. The squirrel just thought your tail was a marshmallow. That’s a compliment." "Right," Sizzle said with an eye roll, swatting away a falling ember with his wing. "Because being mistaken for a snack is totally how I imagined my life going." Fluff squawked with laughter, sending a puff of tiny flames up into the air. "At least you’re not perpetually one sneeze away from spontaneous combustion!" Sizzle nodded, still not convinced. "Speaking of which, remember last week when you tried to sneeze quietly, but instead you set a whole tree on fire? Then that deer looked at us like we were the worst things to happen to nature since pollution." "It was one sneeze!" Fluff defended, throwing his wings up in mock indignation. "And I can't help it if I’m made of fire. It’s a design flaw." The two floated in silence for a moment, watching as a few more flaming leaves drifted from the autumn canopy above and sizzled in the lava-like water. There was an occasional bubbling sound as the water burped up a few embers, which was, as Sizzle liked to put it, "disgustingly unsettling." “So, what now?" Sizzle asked, clearly bored of swimming in a river that doubled as a safety hazard. “I thought we could maybe... I dunno, find a village, scare some humans, you know, the usual?” Fluff offered casually, flapping his wings so he floated a little higher above the water. “Scare some humans? You? You look like a giant ball of yarn caught fire. What’re you going to do, cuddle them to death?” Sizzle shot back, grinning. “Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a very intimidating presence!” Fluff said, puffing out his chest (which made him look even more like a fluffy orange dandelion). “Watch this.” Without warning, Fluff gave a powerful flap of his wings, launching himself out of the water and into the air. He soared up—well, more like he awkwardly wobbled upwards like a drunken pigeon—and perched on a low branch, his wings burning with fiery feathers. He looked down at Sizzle with a smug grin. “That was… something,” Sizzle said, snorting out a small puff of smoke. “But maybe next time, try to look less like you’re being chased by invisible bees.” Fluff sighed dramatically and flopped down onto the branch, causing a small fire to start on the leaves around him. “You know what? Forget scaring humans. Let’s just take over a hot springs or something. We can relax, roast some marshmallows. Maybe I can figure out how to not sneeze fire for once.” Sizzle’s eyes lit up at the mention of marshmallows. “Now that is the best idea you’ve had all day.” Just then, a single ember floated down and landed on Sizzle’s tail, igniting it like a tiny sparkler. He stared at it for a second, then sighed. “But first, let me put my butt out.” As the phoenix and dragon made their way down the glowing river, leaving behind a trail of smoking footprints, one thing was clear: they may have been made of fire, but their friendship burned brighter than any flame in the forest. Even if they occasionally set things on fire... unintentionally.     Sizzle's Backstory Born into a proud lineage of fearsome dragons, Sizzle was, well... the family disappointment. While his ancestors could breathe firestorms that could scorch entire villages, Sizzle could barely manage a puff of smoke that smelled suspiciously like burnt toast. To make matters worse, his siblings were all soaring through the skies, spitting fireballs like seasoned warriors. And then there was Sizzle—afraid of heights and forever stuck on the ground, where the only thing he could successfully roast was his own tail. From the moment he hatched, it was clear Sizzle was destined for something... different. His egg didn’t crack with a mighty boom, but more of a polite “pop” followed by a weak sparkle. The dragon midwife even asked, “Is this egg defective, or are we just going for subtle?” Despite this, Sizzle’s parents were hopeful. After all, every dragon goes through awkward phases, right? Wrong. Sizzle’s awkward phase seemed to be permanent. By the time Sizzle was three, it became clear that traditional dragon activities were not in his cards. Flight lessons? He’d spend more time flapping around in circles than actually gaining any altitude. Fire-breathing practice? He sneezed once and accidentally roasted his own snack. Twice. Let’s not even talk about the time he tried to roar—it was more of a squeak. His parents took to explaining him as “a work in progress,” while Sizzle secretly wished he could just master the art of not embarrassing himself in front of the village squirrels. But what Sizzle lacked in brute force, he made up for with a sharp wit, a knack for sarcasm, and the strange ability to befriend creatures no dragon had business talking to. That’s how he met Fluff, the baby phoenix. While other dragons would’ve tried to eat a phoenix on sight, Sizzle just figured, “Hey, another walking fire hazard. Maybe we’ll get along.” And they did—kind of like two flame-retardant peas in a lava-filled pod. Sizzle might not have been the fire-breathing terror his family wanted, but he’d long since accepted that his talents lay elsewhere. Like being the only dragon who could make a phoenix laugh so hard it nearly sneezed itself into a fireball. Now, instead of burning down villages, Sizzle spends his days setting things on fire purely by accident, which, surprisingly, has its own charm. After all, not every dragon can say they’ve been invited to roast marshmallows by a phoenix. Sure, it’s not the most “dragon-y” thing, but Sizzle figures, if you can’t beat the fire, you might as well have fun with it.   Fluff's Backstory Fluff wasn't your typical phoenix. While most phoenixes were born in dramatic bursts of flame, emerging from their ashes like feathered gods of fire, Fluff's birth was more of a... poof. There was a small spark, a half-hearted crackle, and then, out came Fluff—looking less like a fearsome firebird and more like a fluffy chick that got caught in a toaster. Instead of commanding the skies with blazing power, Fluff looked like he should be chasing breadcrumbs at a picnic. As a baby phoenix, Fluff had all the fiery potential of his ancestors, except for one tiny problem—he couldn’t control it. Every sneeze, hiccup, or even a slight twitch of his wings resulted in something spontaneously combusting. Once, he sneezed so hard he accidentally set the sky on fire for a whole afternoon. That wasn’t even the worst of it. At one point, Fluff tried to take a nap in a tree, and, well… let’s just say that tree is now a permanent pile of ash. Forest creatures quickly learned that hanging out with Fluff was a bit of a gamble. Despite his fiery mishaps, Fluff had an annoyingly positive attitude. “It’s all part of the process!” he would chirp after unintentionally torching an innocent flower bed. His family wasn’t so sure. Phoenixes were supposed to be majestic creatures of rebirth and flame, but Fluff? Fluff was like a walking fire hazard with wings. His parents, who were on their fifth reincarnation by this point, just kept giving him awkward smiles and murmuring, “He’ll grow into it… won’t he?” But as time went on, it became clear that Fluff was never going to be the serious, majestic phoenix they’d hoped for. Instead, he was the kind of bird who found joy in starting accidental fires and saw every flaming disaster as an opportunity to make new friends. That’s how he met Sizzle, the little dragon who was just as clumsy with fire as he was. The two bonded over their shared inability to not set things on fire. While other creatures avoided them like the plague, Fluff and Sizzle saw each other as the perfect partners in crime—or, at the very least, in minor forest fire incidents. Now, Fluff spends his days fluttering around, accidentally setting fire to things and making the most of his not-so-majestic phoenix life. Sure, he’s not the intimidating, fiery phoenix of legend, but who needs all that pressure? Fluff’s philosophy is simple: if you’re going to accidentally set the world on fire, you might as well enjoy the warmth.    Love the quirky and fiery friendship of Fluff and Sizzle? Now you can bring their hilarious antics and heartwarming bond into your own space! Whether you’re looking to challenge yourself with a puzzle that captures their magical moment, send some laughter with a personalized greeting card, or elevate your décor with a stunning canvas print, we've got you covered. You can even stick a little bit of their charm anywhere with a sticker! Whichever way you choose, these products are the perfect way to bring the whimsical and fiery spirit of this duo into your life.