dragon humor

Captured Tales

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by Bill Tiepelman

Tongues and Talons

Of Eggs, Egos, and Explosions Burlap Tinklestump never planned to be a father. He could barely manage adult gnomehood, what with the ale debts, magical gardening fines, and one unresolved beef with the local frog choir. But destiny—or more precisely, a slightly intoxicated hedgehog named Fergus—had other ideas. It began, as these things often do, with a dare. “Lick it,” Fergus slurred, pointing at a cracked, iridescent egg nestled in the roots of a fireberry tree. “Betcha won’t.” “Bet I will,” Burlap shot back, without even asking what species it belonged to. He’d just finished chugging a fermented root beer so strong it could strip bark. His judgment was, generously, compromised. And so, with a tongue that had already survived three chili-eating contests and one unfortunate bee spell, Burlap gave the egg a full, slobbery swipe. It cracked. It hissed. It combusted. Out hatched a baby dragon—tiny, green, and already pissed off. The newborn let out a screech like a kettle having an existential crisis, flared its wings, and promptly bit Burlap on the nose. Sparks flew. Burlap screamed. Fergus passed out in a daffodil patch. “Well,” Burlap wheezed, prying the tiny jaws off his face, “guess that’s parenting now.” He named the dragon Singe, partly for the way it charred everything it sneezed on, and partly because it had already reduced his favorite pants to ashes. Singe, for his part, adopted Burlap in that aloof, vaguely threatening way that only dragons and cats truly master. He rode around on the gnome’s shoulder, hissed at authority figures, and developed a taste for roasted insects and sarcasm. Within weeks, the two became inseparable—and entirely insufferable. Together they perfected the art of mischief in the Dinglethorn Wilds: lacing faerie tea with fireball elixirs, redirecting squirrel migration routes with enchanted nut decoys, and once swapping the Wishing Pond’s coins with shiny goblin poker chips. The forest folk tried to reason with them. That failed. They tried to bribe them with mushroom pies. That almost worked. But it wasn’t until Burlap used Singe to light a ceremonial elvish tapestry—during a wedding, no less—that real consequences came knocking. The Elvish Postal Authority, a guild feared even by trolls, issued a notice of severe misconduct, public disruption, and ‘unauthorized flame-based object alteration’. It arrived via flaming pigeon. “We have to go underground,” Burlap declared. “Or up. Higher ground. Strategic advantage. Less paperwork.” And that’s when he discovered the Mushroom. It was colossal—an ancient, towering toadstool rumored to be sentient and mildly perverted. Burlap moved in immediately. He carved a spiral staircase up the stalk, installed a hammock made of recycled spider silk, and nailed a crooked sign to the cap: The High Fungus Consulate – Diplomatic Immunity & Spores for All. “We live here now,” he told Singe, who replied by incinerating a squirrel who’d asked for rent. The gnome nodded in approval. “Good. They’ll respect us.” Respect, as it turned out, was not the first reaction. The Forest Council called an emergency tribunal. Queen Glimmer sent an ambassador. The owlfolk drafted sanctions. And the elvish inspector returned—this time with a flamethrower of his own and a 67-count indictment scroll. Burlap, wearing a ceremonial robe made of moss and buttons, greeted him with a manic grin. “Tell your queen I demand recognition. Also, I licked the tax form. It’s legally mine now.” The inspector opened his mouth to reply—just as Singe sneezed a fireball the size of a cantaloupe into his boots. Chaos had only just begun. Fire, Fungi, and the Fall of Forest Law Three days after the incident with the flaming boots, Burlap and Singe stood trial in the Grand Glade Tribunal—an ancient patch of sacred forest converted into a courthouse by some very judgmental birches. The crowd was massive. Pixies with protest signs, dryads holding petitions, a group of anarchist hedgehogs chanting “NO SHROOM WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!” and at least one confused centaur who thought this was an herbalist expo. Burlap, in a robe made from stitched-together leaves and sandwich wrappers, sat perched atop a velvet mushroom throne he'd smuggled in from his “consulate.” Singe, now the size of a medium turkey and infinitely more combustible, sat curled on the gnome’s lap with a smug expression that only a creature born of fire and entitlement could maintain. Queen Glimmer presided. Her silver wings fluttered with restrained fury as she read the charges: “Unlawful dragon domestication. Unauthorized toadstool expansion. Misuse of enchanted flatulence. And one count of insulting a tree priest with interpretive dance.” “That last one was art,” Burlap muttered. “You can’t charge for expression.” “You danced on his altar while yelling ‘SPORE THIS!’” “He started it.” As the trial went on, things unraveled fast. The badger militia presented charred evidence, including half a mailbox and a wedding veil. Burlap called a raccoon named Dave as a character witness, who mostly tried to steal the bailiff’s pocket watch. Singe testified in the form of smoke puffs and mild arson. And then, as tensions peaked, Burlap unveiled his trump card: a magically binding diplomatic document written in ancient fungal script. “Behold!” he shouted, slapping the scroll onto the stump of testimony. “The Spores of Sanctuary Accord! Signed by the Fungus King himself—may his gills ever flourish.” Everyone gasped. Mostly because it smelled awful. Queen Glimmer read it carefully. “This... this is a menu from a questionable mushroom bar in the Marshes of Meh.” “Still binding,” Burlap replied. “It’s laminated.” In the chaos that followed—wherein a squirrel delegate threw a nut bomb, a pixie went rogue with glitter-based spells, and Singe decided the time was ripe for his first true roar—the trial collapsed into something more closely resembling a music festival run by toddlers with matches. And Burlap, never one to miss a dramatic exit, whistled for his getaway plan: a flying wheelbarrow powered by fermented gnome gas and old firework enchantments. He climbed aboard with Singe, gave a two-finger salute to the crowd, and shouted, “The High Fungus Consulate shall rise again! Preferably on Tuesdays!” They vanished in a trail of smoke, fire, and what smelled suspiciously like roasted garlic and regret. Weeks later, the Mushroom Embassy was declared a public hazard and burned down—though some claim it grew back overnight, taller, weirder, and faintly humming jazz. Burlap and Singe were never captured. They became legends. Myths. The kind whispered by tavern bards who smirk when the lute chords go slightly off tune. Some say they live in the Outer Bramble now, where law fears to tread and gnomes make their own constitutions. Others claim they opened a food truck specializing in spicy mushroom tacos and dragon-brewed cider. But one thing’s clear: Wherever there’s laughter, smoke, and a mushroom slightly out of place… Burlap Tinklestump and Singe are probably nearby, plotting their next ridiculous rebellion against authority, order, and pants. The forest forgives many things—but it never forgets a well-cooked elvish tax scroll. EPILOGUE – The Gnome, the Dragon, and the Whispering Spores Years passed in the Dinglethorn Wilds, though “years” is a fuzzy term in a forest where time bends politely around mushroom rings and the moon occasionally takes Tuesdays off. The tale of Burlap Tinklestump and Singe grew roots and wings, mutating with every retelling. Some said they overthrew a goblin mayor. Others swore they built a fortress made entirely of stolen doorbells. One rumor claimed Singe fathered an entire generation of spicy-tempered wyvernlings, all with a flair for interpretive fire dancing. The truth was, as usual, far stranger. Burlap and Singe lived free, nomadic, and joyfully unaccountable. They wandered from glade to glade, stirring trouble like a spoon in a bubbling pot. They crashed fae garden parties, rewrote troll toll policies with sock puppets, and opened a short-lived consulting firm called Gnomebody’s Business, which specialized in diplomatic sabotage and mushroom real estate. They were kicked out of seventeen realms. Burlap framed each eviction notice and hung them with pride in whatever hollow log or enchanted gazebo they currently squatted in. Singe grew stronger, wiser, and no less chaotic. By adulthood, he could torch a beanstalk mid-air while spelling out rude words in smoke. He’d developed an affinity for jazz flute, enchanted bacon, and sneezing contests. And through it all, he remained perched—either on Burlap’s shoulder, his head, or on the nearest flammable object. Burlap aged only in theory. His beard got longer. His pranks got crueler. But his laugh—oh, that full-bodied, giddy cackle—echoed through the forest like a mischievous anthem. Even the trees began to lean in when he passed, eager to hear what idiocy he’d utter next. Eventually, they disappeared entirely. No sightings. No fire trails. Just silence… and mushrooms. Glowing, tall, gnarled mushrooms appeared wherever they’d once been—often with singe marks, bite impressions, and, occasionally, indecent graffiti. The High Fungus Consulate, it seems, had simply gone... airborne. To this day, if you enter the Dinglethorn at twilight and tell a lie with a grin, you might hear a chuckle on the wind. And if you leave behind a pie, a bad poem, or a political pamphlet soaked in brandy—well, let’s just say that pie might come back flaming, annotated, and demanding a seat at the council table. Because Burlap and Singe weren’t just legends. They were a warning wrapped in laughter, tied with fire, and sealed with a mushroom stamp. Bring the Mischief Home – Shop "Tongues and Talons" Collectibles Feeling the itch to cause some magical mayhem of your own? Invite Burlap and Singe into your world with our exclusive Tongues and Talons collection — crafted for rebels, dreamers, and mushroom-loving firestarters. 🔥 Metal Print: Bold, gleaming, and built to withstand even a dragon sneeze — this metal print captures every detail of the gnome-dragon duo’s chaotic charm in razor-sharp resolution. 🖼️ Canvas Print: Add a splash of whimsy and fire to your walls with this stunning canvas print. It’s storytelling, texture, and toadstool glory all in one frame-worthy piece. 🛋️ Throw Pillow: Need a cozy companion for your next mischief-filled nap? Our Tongues and Talons throw pillow is the softest way to keep dragon energy on your couch — no scorch marks included. 👜 Tote Bag: Whether you're hauling forbidden scrolls, enchanted snacks, or questionable diplomatic documents, this tote bag has your back with sturdy style and spellbinding flair. Shop now and carry a little bit of chaos, laughter, and legendary fungus with you — wherever your next adventure leads.

by Bill Tiepelman

Paws, Claws, and Dragon Flaws

A Hatchling's First Crime Spree The problem with baby dragons—aside from the fire, claws, and tendency to bite first and ask questions never—is that they have zero sense of consequences. That was exactly the issue with Scorch, a freshly hatched menace with a face too cute for its own damn good. Scorch was small, green, and absurdly chonky for a dragon. He had big, round eyes that made villagers go “Awww!” right before he set their laundry on fire. His wings were still useless, which made him mad as hell, so he compensated by getting into everyone’s business. If you had food? It was his now. If you had valuables? Also his. If you had dignity? Kiss that goodbye. Unfortunately for the town of Bramblewick, Scorch had decided that today was the day he would make the entire village his. And that meant looting. A lot of looting. A One-Dragon Heist It started at Old Man Higgins’ bakery. The old bastard never stood a chance. One second, he was setting out a fresh tray of honey buns, and the next, a green blur shot through the open window, snagged the entire batch, and scurried off under a cart. “What the—” Higgins sputtered, staring at his empty counter. Then he spotted the culprit. Scorch, sticky-faced and smug, licked honey off his claws and burped directly in Higgins’ direction. “Why, you little—” Scorch took off, tail wiggling as he darted down the street, leaving a trail of crumbs and zero remorse. Criminal Mastermind… Kinda By noon, he had: Stolen a pie from the windowsill of Widow Gertrude (who threw a broom at him and missed). Pilfered a pair of underpants off someone’s clothesline (why? No one knows). Scared the blacksmith’s apprentice by sneaking up behind him and exhaling just enough smoke to make him pee himself. Bit a knight’s boot because it was shiny. The villagers were beginning to take notice. A posse formed. Angry murmurs spread. “That little bastard just stole my lunch.” “He’s been terrorizing my chickens!” “He stole my wife’s best cooking pot! And she’s pissed!” Scorch, completely unbothered, was currently sitting in the middle of the fountain, feet kicked up, gnawing on a stolen ham hock. Then, just as he was really getting comfortable, a shadow loomed over him. Enter Trouble “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the town’s newest pain in my ass.” Scorch paused mid-chew and looked up. It was Fiona. The town’s official problem-solver. She was tall, scarred, and wielded an attitude as sharp as the sword on her hip. She also looked thoroughly unimpressed. “You done yet, Tiny Terror? Or are you planning to rob the mayor next?” Scorch blinked his big, innocent eyes. Fiona crossed her arms. “Don’t even try it. I’ve been around too long to fall for that cute act.” Scorch, deciding he did not like this woman, stuck his tongue out and immediately launched himself at her face. Unfortunately, his tiny, useless wings did nothing, so instead of an epic attack, he just face-planted onto her boot. Silence. Fiona sighed. “Gods save me, this is going to be a long day.” How to Train Your Disaster Fiona had dealt with all kinds of problems before—bandits, mercenaries, one very drunk wizard—but never had she been tasked with disciplining a pint-sized dragon with a superiority complex. She bent down and picked up Scorch by the scruff like an angry mother cat. He flailed. He hissed. He smacked her in the face with his chubby little paw. None of it was effective. “Alright, you tiny bastard,” she muttered. “You’re coming with me.” The townsfolk cheered. “About time someone dealt with that little menace!” “Throw him in the stocks!” “No! Send him to the mines!” Fiona gave them all a look. “He’s a baby.” “A baby criminal,” Widow Gertrude shot back. “He stole my pie.” Scorch, still dangling from Fiona’s grip, licked his lips loudly. “See? No remorse!” Gertrude shrieked. Fiona sighed and turned on her heel. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll deal with him.” And before the mob could organize itself further, she marched off, dragon in tow. The Art of Discipline (or Lack Thereof) Fiona’s idea of “dealing with” Scorch turned out to be plopping him down on her kitchen table and pointing a finger at him. “You need to stop stealing things,” she said firmly. Scorch yawned. “I’m serious. You’re pissing everyone off.” Scorch flopped onto his back and dramatically threw his legs in the air. “Oh, don’t even. You’re not dying. You’re just spoiled.” Scorch let out a very unconvincing death rattle. Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know what? Fine. You wanna be a little menace? Let’s make it official. You work for me now.” Scorch stopped fake-dying. He blinked. Tilted his head. “Yeah,” Fiona continued. “I’m making you my apprentice.” Scorch stared. Then he did the only logical thing—he stole her dagger straight from its sheath. “You little shit—” A New Partnership It took fifteen minutes, a chair tipped over, and a very unfortunate headbutt to get the dagger back. But once she did, Fiona knew one thing for certain: She had made a mistake. Scorch was already investigating every corner of her house, sniffing things, chewing things, knocking things over just because. He had the attention span of a drunk squirrel and the morals of a highway robber. But… She watched as he scrambled onto the counter, knocking over a stack of papers in the process. He was clearly proud of himself, tail wiggling, tongue sticking out as he surveyed his domain. Fiona sighed. “You’re going to burn this town down someday, aren’t you?” Scorch burped out a tiny ember. “Gods help me.” And just like that, the town’s biggest problem became Fiona’s personal headache. Bring Scorch Home—If You Dare! Can’t get enough of this tiny troublemaker? Lucky for you, Paws, Claws, and Dragon Flaws is available as stunning artwork on a variety of products! Whether you want to cozy up with a tapestry, challenge yourself with a puzzle, or send some fiery charm in a greeting card, Scorch is ready to invade your space. 🔥 Tapestry – Turn any wall into a dragon’s lair. 🎨 Canvas Print – High-quality artwork, perfect for fantasy lovers. 🧩 Puzzle – Because wrangling a dragon should be a challenge. 💌 Greeting Card – Share some mythical mischief with friends. 👜 Tote Bag – Carry your essentials with a bit of dragon sass. Grab your favorite, or collect them all—just be prepared for a little chaos. 😉

by Bill Tiepelman

Lost in a World Too Big

The first thing Fizzlebop noticed upon hatching was that the world was entirely too loud, too bright, and too full of things that did not immediately cater to his needs. A terrible injustice, really. He blinked his enormous blue eyes, stretching his stubby wings with an exasperated sigh. The nest was empty. His siblings had hatched before him, leaving behind only cracked eggshells and a lingering warmth. How typical. They never waited for him. "Ugh," he muttered, dragging his tiny tail across the soft moss. "Abandoned at birth. Tragic." Fizzlebop attempted to stand, only to topple forward, his little claws scrabbling against the ground. "Oh yes, very majestic. Future ruler of the skies, right here," he grumbled, rolling onto his back. "Might as well leave me here to perish." The sky above him was a swirl of pastels, stars twinkling like they had something to be smug about. "Don't just sit there looking all mysterious," he huffed at them. "Help me!" The stars, as expected, did not assist. With a great effort, he managed to sit upright, his wings flaring dramatically for balance. He squinted into the distance, where flickering firelight suggested the rest of his nestmates were already feasting with their mother. "Of course they started without me," he muttered. "Because why wouldn't they?" Then, just to test if life was truly out to get him, Fizzlebop attempted to take a single confident step forward. His foot met a particularly devious rock, and he promptly face-planted. "Oh, I see how it is," he growled, flopping onto his side. "Fine. I'll just stay here. Alone. Forever. Probably get eaten by something big and toothy." Something rustled nearby. Fizzlebop froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned his head—only to come face to face with a fox. A very hungry-looking fox. The fox tilted its head, clearly confused by the sight of a baby dragon glaring up at it with an expression of profound irritation. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, overgrown rodent," he said, voice full of bratty confidence. "I am a dragon. A creature of legend. A force of nature." He puffed up his chest. "I will breathe fire upon you." Silence. The fox remained unimpressed. Fizzlebop inhaled deeply, ready to unleash his terrifying flame… and promptly sneezed. A pathetic little spark fizzled into the air. The fox blinked. Fizzlebop blinked. Then, with a sigh, he flopped onto his back and groaned. "Fine. Just eat me and get it over with." Instead of attacking, the fox sniffed him once, let out an unimpressed huff, and trotted away. "Yeah, that's right," Fizzlebop called after it. "Run, coward!" He lay there for a moment longer before muttering, "I didn't want to be eaten anyway." Then, grumbling to himself, he got back onto his feet and stomped toward the firelight, ready to make a dramatic entrance and demand his rightful place at the feast. Because if he was going to suffer in this unfair world, the least he could do was make everyone else suffer with him. Fizzlebop marched—well, wobbled—toward the glow of the firelight, muttering under his breath about betrayal, neglect, and the sheer injustice of being the last to hatch. His tiny claws crunched against the frost-covered ground, his tail flicking dramatically with each exaggerated step. “Oh yes, just leave the baby behind,” he grumbled. “Forget about poor, defenseless Fizzlebop. Not like I could have been eaten or anything.” He paused and shuddered. “By a fox. A fox, of all things.” The campfire flickered ahead, surrounded by his siblings, who were rolling around in a pile of meat scraps like the uncultured beasts they were. Their mother, a great silver dragon with molten gold eyes, lay nearby, preening her wings, looking—for lack of a better word—smug. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. They had noticed his absence. They just hadn’t cared. Well. That would not stand. He inhaled deeply, summoning every ounce of injustice and rage within his tiny frame, and let out a battle cry: “HOW DARE YOU.” The entire nest froze. His siblings blinked at him, meat dangling from their stupid little jaws. His mother arched an elegant brow. Fizzlebop stomped forward. “Do you have ANY idea what I have been through?” he demanded, wings flaring. “Do you know the STRUGGLES I have faced?” Silence. Fizzlebop did not care. He was going to tell them anyway. “First of all, I was abandoned,” he declared. “Cast out, left to suffer, forced to hatch in solitude like some tragic hero in a forgotten legend.” He placed a claw against his chest, looking to the heavens. “And then! As if that weren’t bad enough—” His mother exhaled loudly through her nose. “Fizzlebop, you hatched twenty minutes late.” Fizzlebop gasped. “Twenty minutes? Oh, I see. So I should just be grateful that my own family left me to perish in the cruel, unfeeling wilds?!” His mother stared at him. His siblings stared at him. One of them, a chubby dragon named Soot, licked his eyeball. Fizzlebop groaned. “You absolute buffoons.” He marched straight to the pile of meat, sat his tiny, frostbitten rear down, and grabbed the largest scrap he could find. “You’re all terrible, and I hate you,” he declared before stuffing his face. His mother sighed and stretched her wings. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Fizzlebop waved a dismissive claw. “Yes, yes, I’m adorable, I’m a delight, I’m a gift to this family.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But also, you should all suffer for your crimes.” His mother huffed a plume of smoke, which he chose to interpret as deep shame and regret. His belly now full, Fizzlebop curled into the warm pile of his siblings, who accepted his presence with the kind of easygoing obliviousness only dragons (and very stupid people) could manage. And as he drifted off to sleep, his mother’s tail curling around them for warmth, Fizzlebop allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smirk. For all his righteous suffering… being part of a family wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Probably. Take Fizzlebop Home! Love Fizzlebop’s adorable mischief? Bring this tiny dragon into your life with stunning prints and merchandise! Whether you want to add some whimsical charm to your home or carry a piece of dragon-sized attitude with you, we’ve got you covered: 🖼️ Acrylic Prints – For a sleek, high-gloss way to showcase Fizzlebop’s expressive pout. 🎭 Tapestries – Transform any space into a fantasy realm with a larger-than-life baby dragon. 👜 Tote Bags – Carry your essentials in style, and let everyone know you're as dramatic as Fizzlebop. 💌 Greeting Cards – Send a message with maximum sarcasm and cuteness. Get yours now and let Fizzlebop bring his bratty charm into your world! 🔥🐉

by Bill Tiepelman

The Guardian and the Kitten: Housebound Adventures

It all started when Elara, self-proclaimed queen of the household and a 17-pound Maine Coon with the ego of a warlord, discovered something rather unacceptable in her territory. There, perched atop her sacred sunspot on the wooden floor, was an intruder. And not just any intruder—a scaly, winged, fire-breathing menace about the size of an overgrown hamster. "What the actual fluff is this?" Elara muttered, tail flicking. The dragon, barely the size of a teapot, looked up from where it was chewing on the corner of a leather-bound book. It cocked its tiny, spiky head and let out a small, smoke-filled hiccup. "Oh. A cat. How original." Enter Smauglet, the Tiny Terror Smauglet—yes, that was what he called himself, as if the name wasn’t a little too ambitious for something that could be drop-kicked into a laundry basket—stretched his wings, knocking over an expensive-looking vase in the process. The crash was immediate, the effect devastating. Elara's ears twitched. "Oh. You're one of those." Smauglet grinned, all sharp teeth and no remorse. "One of what?" "One of those 'small but chaotic' types. Like the human's Roomba. Or the squirrel I tried to eat last summer." Smauglet flicked his tail, knocking over a candle. "Listen, Furball Supreme, I may be small, but I am a dragon. I bring fire. I bring destruction. I bring—" Elara swatted him mid-monologue, sending him tumbling across the floor like a scaly dust bunny. The Human Intervenes (Uselessly, As Expected) Just as Smauglet was trying to recover what little dignity he had left, their mutual overlord—the Human—stumbled in, coffee in one hand, phone in the other. She blinked at the scene: fur, scales, and what looked suspiciously like a singed couch cushion. "Elara, what did you do?" Elara, insulted beyond reason, fluffed up. "Excuse me? You're blaming me?" Smauglet, the opportunistic little gremlin that he was, immediately switched gears. He flopped onto his back, wings splayed dramatically. "She attacked me! I was just sitting here, minding my own business, contemplating the fragility of human existence!" "Oh, screw you," Elara snapped. The Human groaned, rubbing her temple. "Look, I don’t know what fresh level of fantasy nonsense I just walked into, but can we please try not to burn the house down?" She pointed at Smauglet. "You, no fire. You," she turned to Elara, "no homicide." Both culprits stared at her. Elara sighed. "Fine." Smauglet smirked. "Fine." The Truce (Which Lasts a Whole Five Minutes) For about an hour, things were peaceful. Elara reclaimed her sunspot, and Smauglet curled up on a bookshelf, gnawing on the spine of The Art of War, which was honestly on-brand. The Human relaxed, wrongly assuming she had restored order. Then Smauglet made the mistake of flicking his tail into Elara’s face. What followed was a blur of claws, fire, and a level of screaming that probably put the neighbors on high alert. The Human sprinted back into the room, holding a fire extinguisher in one hand and a spray bottle in the other. "That’s it! New rule—no more medieval warfare in my living room!" Elara and Smauglet glared at each other, then at the Human. Elara sighed dramatically. "You ruin all my fun." Smauglet rolled onto his back. "I'm hungry." The Human groaned. "I am moving out." And thus, an uneasy alliance was formed. The dragon would keep his fire to himself (mostly), and Elara would tolerate his existence (barely). And the Human? She stocked up on fireproof furniture and accepted her fate. After all, when you live with a cat and a dragon, peace is just a myth. Bring the Chaos Home Love the antics of Elara and Smauglet? Now you can bring their mischievous charm into your own space! Whether you're a fan of feisty felines, fiery dragons, or just enjoy a bit of magical mayhem, we've got something for you. 🔥 Wall Tapestry – Turn your room into a whimsical battleground of fur and flame. 🎨 Canvas Print – A high-quality masterpiece to showcase your love for mischief and magic. 🧩 Jigsaw Puzzle – Test your patience just like The Human does with these two chaos-makers. 👜 Tote Bag – Carry your essentials with the same confidence Elara carries her grudges. Click the links to grab your favorite, and let the legendary battle of cat vs. dragon live on in your home!

by Bill Tiepelman

Emerald Majesty and the Cheerful Rider

“How many damn carrots does one dragon need?” shouted Grizzle Thimbletwig, his scrunched-up nose nearly glowing red beneath his ridiculous floppy hat. The gnome tugged at the dragon’s reins—not that they worked, because Scorchbutt wasn’t the kind of dragon that obeyed reins or any sort of authority. The massive emerald-scaled beast merely snorted, blowing a gust of hot breath that nearly singed Grizzle’s beloved beard. “Oi, watch it! This beard is older than your great-great-grandmother’s scales!” Scorchbutt responded by farting. Loudly. The flatulent blast rattled the nearby trees, sent a flock of birds scattering, and left Grizzle choking on sulfurous air. “That’s it, you flying gasbag! One more toot like that and I’m cooking gnome stew—with dragon wings as garnish!” he hollered, though they both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Grizzle was perched precariously on the dragon’s back, as Scorchbutt's wings stretched wide and prepared for another jaunt into the skies above. Grizzle grumbled and braced himself. The last ride had nearly unseated him—damn near got him tangled in his own underpants when Scorchbutt decided to show off with a barrel roll mid-air. A Gnome with Big Dreams It all started when Grizzle decided he’d had enough of gnome society. Too many rules. Too much bureaucracy. And far too many mandatory potlucks. “Bring a casserole,” they’d say. “Don’t spike the cider,” they’d demand. Bah! Where was the fun in that? So one fine morning—fine, if you ignored the dragon dung steaming in the fields—Grizzle packed up his meager belongings, grabbed his trusty pipe, and went out to find some adventure. And what did he find? Scorchbutt. Or rather, Scorchbutt found him, roasting an entire sheep in the middle of the forest. Grizzle, to his credit, didn’t run. He just threw a turnip at the dragon’s head and said, “You missed a spot, ya lazy lizard.” To Grizzle’s utter shock, the dragon didn’t eat him. Instead, Scorchbutt let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, though it was accompanied by smoke and a small flame. Somehow, the two had clicked. Grizzle had finally found someone—or something—that appreciated his irreverent sense of humor and complete lack of respect for authority. The Mischievous Duo Now, the gnome and the dragon were infamous. Farmers complained about missing cows. Tavern keepers swore they’d seen a tiny man and a dragon drinking ale out of barrels. And let’s not forget the incident at the Duchess’s garden party, where Scorchbutt had sneezed mid-air, torching three rose bushes and a very elaborate hat. Grizzle had laughed so hard he’d fallen off the dragon and landed in the punch bowl. “We’ve got a reputation to uphold, ol’ Scorchy,” Grizzle said, patting the dragon’s scaly neck as they soared over rolling green hills. Below them, a group of shepherds pointed and screamed something unintelligible about missing sheep. “Relax, it’s just a little creative redistribution of livestock. They’ll thank us when they have fewer mouths to feed!” Scorchbutt let out another of his rumbling chuckles, then dived low, snagging a sack of potatoes from an unsuspecting farmer. “We’ll make potato stew tonight, eh?” Grizzle said, holding on tight as the dragon spiraled upwards again. “And by stew, I mean vodka. Gotta keep warm somehow!” Chaos at the King’s Banquet Their latest adventure had led them to a new target: the royal palace. Grizzle had heard rumors of a grand banquet being held for the King’s birthday, complete with golden goblets, roasted pheasants, and desserts so decadent they’d make a unicorn blush. Naturally, he couldn’t resist. “Now listen here, Scorchy,” Grizzle said as they landed just outside the palace gates. “We’re not here to burn the place down. Just... mildly inconvenience them.” Scorchbutt tilted his head, one glowing emerald eye fixed on the gnome. Grizzle rolled his eyes. “Fine. You can roast a little bit. But don’t overdo it, alright?” The banquet was in full swing when the dragon burst through the stained glass windows, sending shards raining down on horrified nobles. Grizzle leapt off Scorchbutt’s back and landed on the King’s table, scattering plates and sending a roasted pig tumbling to the floor. “Good evening, esteemed jerks and fancy pants!” he announced, grabbing a goblet of wine. “I’ll be your entertainment tonight. And by entertainment, I mean thief. Now hand over the cake and no one gets torched!” The nobles shrieked as Scorchbutt let out a mighty roar, blowing out half the candles in the room. The King stood up, red-faced and trembling. “How dare you!” he bellowed. “Seize that gnome!” “Oh no, they’re seizing me!” Grizzle said in mock terror, taking a huge bite out of the nearest drumstick. “Whatever will I—Scorchy, NOW!” The dragon unleashed a fiery sneeze, sending guards diving for cover as Grizzle grabbed the cake—an enormous tower of chocolate and cream—and clambered back onto Scorchbutt’s back. “Thanks for the hospitality! We’ll be back next year!” he shouted as they blasted through the ceiling, leaving a charred hole and a very angry King behind. Home Sweet Chaos Back at their makeshift lair—a cozy cave littered with stolen goods and half-burned treasure—Grizzle kicked back with a slice of cake and a mug of potato vodka. Scorchbutt curled up nearby, his massive body radiating warmth. “Another successful mission,” Grizzle said, raising his mug in a toast. “To chaos, cake, and Scorchy’s gassy arse.” Scorchbutt let out a low rumble that could have been a purr—or another fart. Grizzle waved a hand in front of his nose. “Bloody hell, Scorchy. I’ve been meaning to say this: you really need to lay off the sheep.” And with that, the gnome and the dragon settled in for another night of mischief, ready to dream up whatever shenanigans tomorrow might bring. The End… or is it? Bring the Adventure Home Love the mischief and magic of Emerald Majesty and the Cheerful Rider? Now you can own a piece of this whimsical world! Explore our exclusive collection of products featuring this vibrant artwork, perfect for fans of fantasy and quirky storytelling. Tapestries: Transform your space with the bold and colorful adventure of Grizzle and Scorchbutt. Canvas Prints: Bring this tale to life on your walls with museum-quality prints. Puzzles: Piece together the magic with a fun and challenging puzzle featuring the Emerald Majesty. Greeting Cards: Share the adventure with friends and family through beautifully crafted cards. Shop now and bring a touch of whimsy to your life!

by Bill Tiepelman

Baby Dragon’s Dazzling New Year Bash

Baby Dragon’s Wild New Year Bash It started as a classy affair. The table was set with fine champagne, golden candles flickering gently, and an obnoxious amount of glitter covering every surface. Guests in tuxedos and shimmering dresses mingled under strings of fairy lights, chatting politely, toasting the year ahead. But then, waddling in from God-knows-where, came the baby dragon. Small but radiant, its scales shimmered in every imaginable color, as though it had rolled around in a pile of crushed disco balls. It stumbled up to the table, knocked over a champagne flute with its tail, and squawked loudly enough to silence the room. The little beast then made eye contact with the host, picked up a sparkler, and chirped as if to say, “This is my party now.” The dragon wasn’t exactly invited, but no one was brave enough to kick it out. Instead, they watched in stunned amusement as it commandeered the nearest champagne bottle, popped the cork with its tiny claws, and guzzled it like a frat boy at happy hour. Bubbles streamed down its chin as it belched a small puff of smoke, promptly singeing a nearby garland. “Who gave it booze?” someone hissed, but it was too late. The dragon had spotted the cheese plate. With alarming speed for such a small creature, it clambered onto the table, knocking over candles and scattering glitter into the air. It sniffed the brie, poked the gouda, and then chomped directly into the host’s expensive wheel of imported camembert. The room collectively gasped, but the dragon didn’t care—it had cheese, and it was going to town. By now, the baby dragon was a full-blown spectacle. It stood on the table, holding a sparkler in one claw and an uneaten cracker in the other, as if it were some kind of drunken medieval mascot. Someone turned up the music, and the dragon started swaying its hips, tail smacking indiscriminately into decorations, chairs, and one poor soul’s champagne tower. “This thing is a menace!” the host cried, attempting to shoo the dragon off the table with a serving tray. The dragon, feeling challenged, let out a tiny roar—more of a squeak, really—but it was enough to make the host rethink their life choices and sit quietly in a corner with a fresh drink. As midnight approached, the baby dragon was unstoppable. Its claws were sticky with champagne and mystery dip, and its wings were dusted with crushed party crackers. It had somehow acquired a party hat, perched lopsided on its head, and was holding court in the middle of the dance floor. Guests had given up on dignity and joined the little beast in what could only be described as a drunken conga line. Glitter rained from the ceiling as the countdown began. “TEN! NINE! EIGHT!” the crowd roared. The dragon, perched on someone’s shoulders, flapped its tiny wings in excitement, nearly toppling them over. “SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!” It tossed the sparkler into the air, where it landed in a punch bowl, fizzing out dramatically. “FOUR! THREE! TWO!” The dragon let out a triumphant screech, blowing a small puff of fire that set an unattended napkin aflame. No one cared. “ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The room erupted into cheers, hugs, and a cacophony of drunken celebration. The baby dragon, now thoroughly trashed, curled up in a pile of confetti and empty champagne bottles, snoring softly. Its party hat had slipped down over one eye, and its tiny claws clutched an uneaten piece of brie as if it were the most precious treasure in the world. As the night wound down and guests stumbled home, the host surveyed the wreckage of their once-pristine party. “Who the hell brought the dragon?” they muttered, picking up a singed party favor. The dragon snorted in its sleep, letting out one last puff of smoke. No one answered. After all, it didn’t matter. That little glittering monster had thrown the best damn party anyone could remember. Explore More: Tiny Scales & Tails Collection If you loved the whimsical chaos of our New Year's baby dragon, don't miss your chance to bring this magical moment into your space! This enchanting image is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Adorn your walls, spark conversations, or gift it to a fellow fantasy lover—this piece is perfect for celebrating magic and mischief in every season.

by Bill Tiepelman

The Littlest Flame: A Dragon's Heartwarming Beginnings

In the vast kingdom of Elderwyn, home to towering castles, enchanted forests, and creatures of legend, something extraordinary happened one quiet morning. No, it wasn’t the usual kind of extraordinary—the kind with knights rescuing maidens or wizards hurling fireballs. This was different. This was the day that a very small, very adorable dragon decided to make its debut. Meet Smidge. And yes, that’s exactly what he was—a smidge of a dragon, no bigger than a loaf of bread. But don’t let the size fool you. Smidge had big dreams, despite being born in the smallest egg of the clutch. His brothers and sisters had all hatched into impressive little fire-breathers, already causing minor property damage to the local village (a rite of passage for any dragon, really). Smidge, however, had yet to produce more than a puff of smoke and some particularly aggressive hiccups. “You’ll get there, Smidge,” his mother, a glorious red-scaled dragon named Seraphina, would say in her deep, echoing voice. “It just takes time.” Smidge wasn’t so sure. While his siblings were off practicing their flame control, he was busy... well, trying not to trip over his own feet. His legs seemed too long for his body, his wings flapped more like a startled chicken’s than anything majestic, and his fire? Let’s just say no marshmallows were getting roasted any time soon. The Quest for Fire (And Not Burning Himself in the Process) Determined to prove himself, Smidge set off on a mission. It wasn’t a typical “slay the knight, hoard the treasure” kind of mission. No, Smidge had something much simpler in mind: learn to breathe fire without sneezing. It was a modest goal, but you had to start somewhere. He waddled out of the cave early one morning, waving goodbye to his siblings, who were busy setting a small forest on fire (totally accidental, of course). Smidge’s journey was one of discovery. He needed to find a quiet spot, away from distractions, where he could really focus on his fire-breathing technique. “Ah, here we go,” Smidge muttered, stumbling upon a clearing in the forest. It was peaceful, with the sun filtering through the trees, birds chirping, and most importantly, nothing that could accidentally catch fire—except maybe a few shrubs, but sacrifices had to be made. Smidge squared his little shoulders, took a deep breath, and... poof. A tiny puff of smoke escaped his nostrils. Well, it was better than last time, when nothing but a few weak sparks fizzled out. He puffed his chest out, feeling rather proud. “Alright, let’s go again,” he said, this time putting every bit of effort he had into it. He inhaled deeply, focused, and—achoo! The sneeze came out of nowhere, and with it, a burst of flame that wasn’t quite forward-facing. Instead, the flames engulfed his own tail. “Yow!” Smidge yelped, hopping in circles, frantically patting out the flames with his tiny claws. After a few minutes of awkward tail-chasing, the fire was out, but his pride had taken a hit. “That,” he muttered, “could have gone better.” Making Friends (or, How Not to Burn Bridges) Despite the hiccups (and sneezes), Smidge wasn’t about to give up. He just needed a bit of help—some guidance. And so, he set off deeper into the forest, hoping to find someone who might teach him the ancient art of dragon fire-breathing. What he found instead... was Barry. Barry was a troll. Not the menacing, bridge-guarding kind of troll, though. No, Barry was more of a “tree-hugging, amateur painter” kind of troll. He stood about 12 feet tall, with moss growing on his back and a pair of reading glasses perched precariously on the end of his bulbous nose. “Hi!” Smidge chirped, looking up at the towering troll. “I’m Smidge. Can you help me learn to breathe fire?” Barry squinted down at the tiny dragon, one mossy eyebrow raised. “Fire, you say? Hm. Not really my specialty, kid. I’m more into watercolors.” He gestured to a nearby easel, where an interpretive painting of what Smidge assumed was a tree stood. It mostly looked like a blob with branches. “Oh,” Smidge said, his tiny wings drooping. “Well... thanks anyway.” Barry sighed, scratching his head. “Look, kid, I may not know much about fire-breathing, but I do know about practice. That’s what painting is, really. Practice. You just gotta keep at it. Eventually, you’ll figure it out.” Smidge tilted his head, considering the troll’s advice. “Practice, huh? That’s it?” “Yep,” Barry replied with a shrug. “And, uh, maybe don’t set yourself on fire next time.” Smidge couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I’ll try not to.” The Littlest Flame Ignites With Barry’s advice echoing in his head, Smidge returned to his clearing and tried again. Days passed, and though his flames were still small and sputtering, they were growing. He only set his tail on fire twice more, and there were no major forest fires—just a few smoking bushes. One evening, as the sun began to set, Smidge felt different. He had been practicing all day, and though he was tired, something inside him felt ready. He stood tall (well, as tall as a baby dragon could), focused on the horizon, and took the deepest breath yet. Flame surged from his mouth, a beautiful, controlled stream of fire that lit up the sky in shades of gold and red. Smidge blinked in surprise. Had he just... done it? “I DID IT!” he shouted, hopping up and down in excitement. “I’M A REAL DRAGON!” At that moment, his mother appeared, her massive wings casting a shadow over the clearing. “I knew you could do it,” she said proudly, watching her littlest flame with a smile. “You just needed to find your spark.” The Future of the Littlest Flame And so, with his newfound fire-breathing ability, Smidge became a legend in his own right—not for his size, but for his heart. He wasn’t the biggest or the most powerful dragon in Elderwyn, but he was certainly the most determined. And that, as any dragon will tell you, is the secret to greatness. As for Barry, well, he continued painting his abstract masterpieces. Smidge, now a proud fire-breathing dragon, made sure to stop by every now and then to check in on his favorite troll, usually offering him a little flame to dry his watercolors. Because that’s what friends are for—helping each other, whether with flames, brushes, or a little bit of encouragement. Smidge might have started as the littlest flame, but he knew one thing for sure: the world was about to see just how bright even the smallest dragon could shine. Bring a Piece of Smidge's World Home If the heartwarming adventures of Smidge, the littlest flame, brightened your day, why not bring a bit of that joy into your own space? Whether you’re looking for something whimsical to decorate your home or a playful gift for someone special, we’ve got just the right items to capture Smidge’s charm. The Littlest Flame Puzzle – Piece together the adorable world of Smidge, one puzzle piece at a time. It’s the perfect way to relax while celebrating the little dragon who lights up our hearts. The Littlest Flame Tote Bag – Carry a bit of Smidge’s playful spirit with you wherever you go. This tote is perfect for your everyday essentials, and it comes with an extra dash of dragon-sized cuteness! The Littlest Flame Tapestry – Transform your space with this vibrant tapestry featuring Smidge, the little dragon with a big heart. Perfect for adding a whimsical touch to any room! The Littlest Flame Metal Print – Elevate your decor with this stunning metal print. Smidge’s colorful world will shine beautifully on your walls, capturing the spirit of adventure and fun. Each product brings Smidge’s delightful story to life, making it easy to keep his uplifting energy around you. Whether it's a puzzle for a quiet afternoon or a tote bag for your daily adventures, Smidge is ready to brighten your world. Explore more at Unfocussed Shop!

by Bill Tiepelman

The Flame-Furred Dragonling

In the quiet, maple-scented corner of the Everamber Woods, something far from quiet was about to happen. It all began when a certain someone—let’s call him Boris the Nearly Brave—decided that dragons were nothing more than oversized chickens with fire breath. "I’ll make my fortune selling flame-proof armor," he’d declare, waving his sword around in the village tavern, entirely forgetting he’d spent the last three years cowering from squirrels. But fate, as it tends to do, had other plans. Plans that involved tiny claws, fiery pink fur, and an ego-deflating encounter in the heart of autumn’s most beautiful, and least predictable, forest. The Trouble with Eggs Boris, fueled by one too many tankards of mead and even more bad decisions, set out on an epic quest—well, a quest anyway—to find dragon eggs. The village rumor mill had been in overdrive: someone had spotted a strange glow in Everamber Woods. And since Boris was running out of excuses to avoid his debts, he figured, "Why not? Maybe I’ll find an egg, maybe I’ll die. Either way, it's less embarrassing than borrowing more coin from Granny Norgle." So off he trudged, swinging his sword at nothing in particular, and muttering about becoming the most famous dragonslayer this side of the River of Regret (a fitting name, considering his future). The deeper he ventured into the woods, the more brilliant the autumn colors became—reds, oranges, and yellows swirling in the wind, as if the trees themselves were on fire. And at the heart of it all, nestled between two particularly ancient-looking oaks, was an egg. Now, you’d think Boris would be suspicious about an unguarded, glowing egg just lying in a bed of autumn leaves. You’d think he’d stop to ask, "Where’s the giant, fire-breathing mother that laid this thing?" But no, Boris—drunk on mead and ego—picked up the egg and stuffed it in his satchel like it was a stolen loaf of bread. The Hatchling Awakens For a good five minutes, Boris was convinced he’d won. He could already picture himself strutting through the village, selling dragon omelets for a fortune. But then the egg began to crack. A faint glow seeped through the fissures, followed by a high-pitched chirp. This, of course, was the part where Boris panicked. "Stay in there, you overgrown lizard!" he shouted, as if that would stop nature from taking its course. And then—pop!—out came the strangest creature Boris had ever seen. It wasn’t quite the fearsome dragon of legends. No, this little beast had fluffy, vibrant pink fur, big soulful eyes, and wings that looked like they belonged more on a bat that had partied too hard than a dragon of terror. Its scales glittered, but in an oddly adorable way, and its tiny horns curled like it was still deciding whether to be cute or dangerous. The baby dragon blinked at Boris, then promptly sneezed. A puff of smoke curled out of its nostrils and, as luck would have it, ignited the nearest pile of leaves. Boris jumped back, flailing as if he’d been shot at by a crossbow. The dragonling, however, just sat there, wagging its tail like a puppy who’d discovered fire for the first time. "Great," Boris muttered. "Not only did I find a dragon, but it’s defective." The Unlikely Partnership Now, most people would’ve left the pink, fluffy ball of destruction right there in the forest. But Boris, ever the opportunist, figured there might still be a way to profit from this. Maybe he could train it to breathe fire on command, torch a few bandits, or at least keep his feet warm at night. He named the dragonling Fizzle, because that’s all it seemed capable of—small bursts of smoke, little pops of fire, and an uncontrollable knack for setting things ablaze that shouldn't be ablaze, like Boris’s beard. It turned out that Fizzle wasn’t just a dragon. He was a flame-furred, overly affectionate, extremely curious dragonling who thought everything was food, including Boris’s sword. "Stop chewing that, you oversized squirrel!" Boris would yell, yanking the blade away before Fizzle reduced it to scrap metal. But Fizzle would only blink those big, innocent eyes, as if to say, "What? Me? I’m just a baby." And that, dear reader, is how Boris the Nearly Brave became the babysitter to the least threatening, most destructive dragonling in history. The Quest for the Great Dragon Mother As the days turned into weeks, Boris and Fizzle became an odd pair. The dragonling grew—not in size (because let’s face it, Boris’s luck wouldn’t allow him to raise a proper dragon)—but in curiosity and chaos. Every day was a new adventure in avoiding complete disaster. One time, Fizzle ignited a cart of hay in the middle of town, sending Boris scrambling to explain why the "big, scary dragon" looked more like a stuffed toy gone wrong. "It’s not dangerous! I swear!" he shouted to the mob with pitchforks. "It’s... uh... just playing!" The villagers were, understandably, not convince Bring Home the Chaos and Cuteness If raising a dragonling like Fizzle seems a bit too much, don’t worry—you can still bring a piece of his fiery charm into your life without the singed eyebrows. Check out these delightful items featuring the legendary Flame-Furred Dragonling: Throw Pillow – Cozy up with this vibrant and whimsical throw pillow, featuring Fizzle in all his pink-furred glory. A perfect touch of magical mayhem for your living room. Tapestry – Transform any space with the warm, autumn vibes of this stunning tapestry, featuring the adorable and mischievous dragonling. It’s like bringing a piece of Everamber Woods into your home—minus the accidental fires. Fleece Blanket – Stay warm (just like Boris tried to!) with this ultra-soft fleece blanket. Curl up under its magical design and let Fizzle keep you cozy without the risk of unexpected flame bursts. Tote Bag – Take a bit of dragon mischief on the go with this enchanting tote bag, perfect for your adventures—whether you’re braving the woods or just heading to the market. Whether you’re an aspiring dragonslayer or just a fan of fiery cuteness, these items will let you carry the spirit of Fizzle with you, without the need for flameproof armor. Shop now and add a little dragonling charm to your life!

by Bill Tiepelman

Fall’s Fiery Duo: Phoenix and Dragon in Autumn Water

It was a perfect autumn day in the enchanted forest—the kind where the trees shed their golden leaves, squirrels planned their tiny revolutions, and somewhere, a centaur was probably wondering if he could pull off skinny jeans. In the middle of all this, a young phoenix named Blaze was making a ruckus, splashing around in the forest pond like it was his personal birdbath. Blaze wasn’t alone. His partner in crime, a baby dragon named Scorch, was right there with him. Scorch, despite having the scales of a dragon, was terrified of fire—ironic, considering he lived with a walking bonfire like Blaze. But today, it wasn’t fire he had to worry about. No, today was all about causing as much watery chaos as possible. “Last one to splash the biggest leaf has to clean the other’s nest for a month!” Blaze shouted, his fiery wings sending water droplets and a couple of startled frogs flying in all directions. Scorch puffed up his tiny chest. “I don’t even have a nest, you overgrown feather duster! And good luck beating me—I’m part water dragon!” he bragged, which was technically true. He had a cousin who swam once. The same cousin also peed in the pond, but no one talked about that. The Splash Showdown Blaze eyed the giant maple leaf floating nearby. His beak curled into a grin. “Prepare to be dethroned, lizard breath!” With a screech, Blaze flapped his wings with all his might, launching himself into the air. A blur of fiery feathers shot toward the leaf, his wings glowing against the autumn sky. The leaf, in all its golden glory, was about to be obliterated by the splash of the century. Except… Blaze didn’t account for the fact that wet feathers are slippery. Mid-flight, his wings gave out, and the phoenix plummeted. He hit the water with an epic belly-flop that sent ripples across the pond, a wave of water shooting up and drenching Scorch from snout to tail. Blaze emerged, sputtering, his feathers plastered to his body like a soggy chicken. “Nice one, Blaze! Maybe next time aim for the water instead of trying to fly through it!” Scorch roared with laughter, his wings flapping in delight. Blaze shot him a glare, but with his drenched appearance, it wasn’t exactly intimidating. Scorch's Big Moment Feeling cocky, Scorch decided to show Blaze how it’s done. He flapped his wings and paddled toward the floating maple leaf. “Watch and learn, Blaze. This is how a real dragon does it!” He smirked as he prepared to unleash a tidal wave with his own splash. He pumped his tiny wings, took a deep breath, and dove. What he didn’t realize was that there was a rather sizeable fish in the pond—one that had taken a particular interest in Scorch’s wiggling tail. Just as Scorch was about to dive, the fish chomped down on his tail with an audible snap. The baby dragon yelped, his dive turning into a flailing mess of wings, tail, and water. He spun in circles, trying to shake off the fish, his attempts only managing to launch him into a spectacular, but very undignified, belly-flop of his own. Blaze burst into laughter, the sound echoing through the forest. “Well, well! Looks like you’ve got your own problems to deal with now, Scales McFlop!” Chaos Ensues The fish, perhaps thinking this was all a game, continued to chase Scorch, nibbling at his tail every time he tried to take flight. Scorch screeched and flailed, sending sprays of water everywhere. By now, the pond had become a battlefield of flailing limbs, fire-colored feathers, and the occasional fiery sneeze from Blaze, who was too busy laughing to care about getting wet again. At one point, a pair of ducks—clearly annoyed by the ruckus—decided they’d had enough and waddled over to investigate. They honked indignantly, but when Blaze turned to sneeze and accidentally lit one of the ducks’ tails on fire, they quickly decided that retreat was the better option. The Aftermath Eventually, the fish got bored, Scorch managed to paddle away to safety, and Blaze, still soaked, was wheezing from laughing too hard. They both floated in the water, surrounded by the drifting leaves of autumn, their chaotic energy finally subdued for the moment. “That was… actually pretty fun,” Scorch admitted, still shaking water from his scales. “But next time, we leave the fish out of it.” “Deal,” Blaze agreed, smoothing down his soggy feathers. “And maybe next time, you can actually manage to splash a leaf without getting eaten by a fish.” Scorch rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, featherbrain.” He paused and grinned. “But at least I didn’t almost set a duck on fire.” Blaze froze. “Wait… where’s the duck?” They both looked to the shore where the ducks had fled. In the distance, a faint trail of smoke could be seen disappearing into the forest. “Let’s, uh… let’s just pretend we didn’t see that,” Blaze suggested. Scorch nodded. “Agreed.” And with that, the fiery duo floated there, enjoying the crisp autumn air and deciding that maybe next time, they’d pick a pond without such feisty fish—or flammable wildlife. Bring the Magic of Blaze and Scorch to Your Home! If you laughed along with Blaze and Scorch’s chaotic splash in the autumn pond, why not bring some of that magical mischief into your own life? Check out these delightful products featuring the duo from "Fall's Fiery Duo": Tapestry – Transform your space with a stunning tapestry of Blaze and Scorch, perfect for adding a touch of autumn magic to any room. Fleece Blanket – Snuggle up with a cozy blanket featuring your favorite fiery duo. Whether you’re enjoying a book or planning your next splash, Blaze and Scorch will keep you warm. Jigsaw Puzzle – Piece together the autumn adventure with this vibrant puzzle, capturing Blaze and Scorch’s playful moment in the enchanted pond. Tote Bag – Take Blaze and Scorch with you wherever you go with this colorful tote bag. Whether you’re heading to the library or off on an adventure, they’ll be right by your side. Don’t miss your chance to bring home a little piece of Blaze and Scorch’s magical world. Perfect for gifts, decor, or just indulging your love for all things whimsical and fiery!

by Bill Tiepelman

Laughing with Dragons: A Gnome's Joyful Moment

In a forest where the trees never stop gossiping and the mushrooms grow as tall as your ego, there lived a gnome named Grimble Bottomsworth. Grimble wasn’t just your average gnome—oh no, he was the gnome who could out-laugh a banshee, out-drink a troll, and out-flirt a tree nymph (not that the nymphs appreciated it). Sitting atop his favorite oversized toadstool, he was having one of his famous chuckling fits. But this time, he had a new partner in crime: a baby dragon named Snarky. Now, Snarky wasn’t your typical dragon. For starters, he was about the size of a house cat and didn’t breathe fire, but he did occasionally burp out something that smelled worse than an ogre’s armpit. Snarky flapped his tiny wings, perched in Grimble's grubby hand, puffing out his chest like he was the king of this absurdly colorful jungle. Grimble cackled. “Look at this little bugger! Thinks he’s fierce! Ha! You couldn’t roast a marshmallow if it begged ya, could ya, Snarky?” Snarky, feeling the insult (or maybe just responding to Grimble’s constant stench of ale and mushroom stew), let out a tiny, yet surprisingly sharp, flame that singed a bit of Grimble’s beard. The gnome paused, blinked, and then erupted into laughter so hearty that a nearby squirrel dropped its acorn in shock. “Oi! That’s the best ya got? My granny’s breath is hotter than that, and she’s been dead for forty years!” Grimble slapped his knee, almost tipping off the toadstool as his leathery boots dangled in the air. “Bloody brilliant!” The Unfortunate Toadstool Incident As Grimble kept laughing, his mushroom throne gave a low groan. You see, toadstools aren’t exactly made to support the weight of a gnome who spent most of his life binge-eating pies and downing mead. With a rather unceremonious squelch, the toadstool gave way, collapsing beneath Grimble’s rotund rear with a fart-like noise that echoed through the forest. “Well, bugger me sideways!” Grimble exclaimed as he found himself flat on his back, surrounded by the remnants of what was once his beloved mushroom seat. “That toadstool didn’t stand a chance, did it? Too much ale and… well, let’s just say I’ve had a few more pies than I should’ve.” Snarky let out a snicker, which was an odd sound coming from a dragon, but it seemed fitting. The tiny dragon flapped his wings, hovering just above Grimble’s beard, which had now caught a few mushroom chunks. “Oi! You laughing at me, ya scaly little fart?” Grimble grunted, wiping his hands on his tunic, smearing dirt and mushroom bits across it. “Bloody hell, this place is a mess. I look like a drunk dwarf after a wedding feast. Not that I’m much better at weddings either… well, not after what happened last time.” He trailed off, muttering something about a goat and too much wine. A Foul Bet “Tell ya what, Snarky,” Grimble said, still sprawled on the ground, one leg draped over a broken mushroom stalk, “if you can manage to burn that there big ol’ mushroom,” he pointed to a colossal red-capped toadstool about ten feet away, “I’ll get ya all the roasted rabbits you can stomach. But if you fail, you’ve gotta clean my boots for a month! And trust me, they smell worse than a troll after a spa day.” Snarky narrowed his eyes and let out a determined growl that sounded more like a hiccup. He swooped down to the ground, planted his tiny claws, and puffed up his chest. With a snort, he unleashed a pathetic puff of smoke that dissipated in the wind faster than Grimble’s last bit of dignity. “Oh, come on! My piss after a night at the tavern’s got more heat than that!” Grimble guffawed, rolling over and clutching his belly. “Looks like you’ll be lickin’ my boots clean, mate!” Snarky, thoroughly annoyed, darted forward and clamped his tiny jaws onto Grimble’s nose. It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but just enough to make the gnome yelp. “Oi! You cheeky bastard!” Grimble yelped, pulling the dragon off his face and glaring at him, though the effect was lost because he was still laughing. “Alright, alright, I’ll give ya a rabbit anyway, ya little shit.” He scratched the back of his head and let out a deep sigh, the kind only someone who’s eaten one too many pies could muster. The Aftermath As the day wore on, Grimble and Snarky settled into their usual routine of half-hearted bickering, mushroom-smashing, and general forest chaos. Despite their insults and shenanigans, they made quite the pair—both oddballs in their own right, united by their love of mischief and the fact that neither of them could take life (or each other) too seriously. And so, in the heart of the enchanted forest, with his belly full of pie and his beard smelling faintly of burnt mushrooms, Grimble Bottomsworth spent his days laughing with dragons, farting on mushrooms, and reminding anyone who crossed his path that even in a world full of magic, sometimes the best thing you can do is sit back, have a laugh, and let the dragon bite your nose when you've earned it. “Here’s to another day of nonsense,” Grimble said, raising his flask to Snarky, “and may your farts never be hotter than your breath, ya useless little lizard.” Snarky burped in response. “Atta boy.” Bring the Whimsy Home! If you enjoyed Grimble’s wild antics and Snarky’s mischief, you can bring a piece of this magical world into your own! Check out these delightful products featuring "Laughing with Dragons: A Gnome's Joyful Moment": Jigsaw Puzzle – Perfect for piecing together Grimble’s hilarious adventures while enjoying some leisurely fun. Acrylic Print – Elevate your space with a vibrant, high-quality acrylic print that captures every laugh and mushroom fart in stunning detail. Greeting Card – Share a bit of Grimble’s joy with friends and family through whimsical greeting cards that feature this fantastical scene. Don’t miss out on these enchanting collectibles! Whether you’re a fan of puzzles or looking to brighten someone’s day with a card, these products bring the magic to life in your hands.

by Bill Tiepelman

Embers of Friendship

In a mystical forest where every leaf seemed to be on fire—not metaphorically, but literally—an unusual pair floated in the shallow waters of a glowing river: a baby phoenix named Fluff, and a tiny dragon named Sizzle. And no, this wasn’t some grand, legendary meeting between two majestic creatures destined to save the world. Nope. These two could barely save themselves from a sneeze. "Why do we even hang out here?" Sizzle asked, his stubby claws swirling the water around them. "The river’s basically lava, the trees are exploding with fire leaves every ten seconds, and I swear that squirrel tried to set my tail on fire earlier. I don’t think we're safe!" Fluff puffed up his already ridiculously fluffy feathers and looked at his dragon friend with a calm, unbothered expression. "Relax, Sizzle. The squirrel just thought your tail was a marshmallow. That’s a compliment." "Right," Sizzle said with an eye roll, swatting away a falling ember with his wing. "Because being mistaken for a snack is totally how I imagined my life going." Fluff squawked with laughter, sending a puff of tiny flames up into the air. "At least you’re not perpetually one sneeze away from spontaneous combustion!" Sizzle nodded, still not convinced. "Speaking of which, remember last week when you tried to sneeze quietly, but instead you set a whole tree on fire? Then that deer looked at us like we were the worst things to happen to nature since pollution." "It was one sneeze!" Fluff defended, throwing his wings up in mock indignation. "And I can't help it if I’m made of fire. It’s a design flaw." The two floated in silence for a moment, watching as a few more flaming leaves drifted from the autumn canopy above and sizzled in the lava-like water. There was an occasional bubbling sound as the water burped up a few embers, which was, as Sizzle liked to put it, "disgustingly unsettling." “So, what now?" Sizzle asked, clearly bored of swimming in a river that doubled as a safety hazard. “I thought we could maybe... I dunno, find a village, scare some humans, you know, the usual?” Fluff offered casually, flapping his wings so he floated a little higher above the water. “Scare some humans? You? You look like a giant ball of yarn caught fire. What’re you going to do, cuddle them to death?” Sizzle shot back, grinning. “Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a very intimidating presence!” Fluff said, puffing out his chest (which made him look even more like a fluffy orange dandelion). “Watch this.” Without warning, Fluff gave a powerful flap of his wings, launching himself out of the water and into the air. He soared up—well, more like he awkwardly wobbled upwards like a drunken pigeon—and perched on a low branch, his wings burning with fiery feathers. He looked down at Sizzle with a smug grin. “That was… something,” Sizzle said, snorting out a small puff of smoke. “But maybe next time, try to look less like you’re being chased by invisible bees.” Fluff sighed dramatically and flopped down onto the branch, causing a small fire to start on the leaves around him. “You know what? Forget scaring humans. Let’s just take over a hot springs or something. We can relax, roast some marshmallows. Maybe I can figure out how to not sneeze fire for once.” Sizzle’s eyes lit up at the mention of marshmallows. “Now that is the best idea you’ve had all day.” Just then, a single ember floated down and landed on Sizzle’s tail, igniting it like a tiny sparkler. He stared at it for a second, then sighed. “But first, let me put my butt out.” As the phoenix and dragon made their way down the glowing river, leaving behind a trail of smoking footprints, one thing was clear: they may have been made of fire, but their friendship burned brighter than any flame in the forest. Even if they occasionally set things on fire... unintentionally. Sizzle's Backstory Born into a proud lineage of fearsome dragons, Sizzle was, well... the family disappointment. While his ancestors could breathe firestorms that could scorch entire villages, Sizzle could barely manage a puff of smoke that smelled suspiciously like burnt toast. To make matters worse, his siblings were all soaring through the skies, spitting fireballs like seasoned warriors. And then there was Sizzle—afraid of heights and forever stuck on the ground, where the only thing he could successfully roast was his own tail. From the moment he hatched, it was clear Sizzle was destined for something... different. His egg didn’t crack with a mighty boom, but more of a polite “pop” followed by a weak sparkle. The dragon midwife even asked, “Is this egg defective, or are we just going for subtle?” Despite this, Sizzle’s parents were hopeful. After all, every dragon goes through awkward phases, right? Wrong. Sizzle’s awkward phase seemed to be permanent. By the time Sizzle was three, it became clear that traditional dragon activities were not in his cards. Flight lessons? He’d spend more time flapping around in circles than actually gaining any altitude. Fire-breathing practice? He sneezed once and accidentally roasted his own snack. Twice. Let’s not even talk about the time he tried to roar—it was more of a squeak. His parents took to explaining him as “a work in progress,” while Sizzle secretly wished he could just master the art of not embarrassing himself in front of the village squirrels. But what Sizzle lacked in brute force, he made up for with a sharp wit, a knack for sarcasm, and the strange ability to befriend creatures no dragon had business talking to. That’s how he met Fluff, the baby phoenix. While other dragons would’ve tried to eat a phoenix on sight, Sizzle just figured, “Hey, another walking fire hazard. Maybe we’ll get along.” And they did—kind of like two flame-retardant peas in a lava-filled pod. Sizzle might not have been the fire-breathing terror his family wanted, but he’d long since accepted that his talents lay elsewhere. Like being the only dragon who could make a phoenix laugh so hard it nearly sneezed itself into a fireball. Now, instead of burning down villages, Sizzle spends his days setting things on fire purely by accident, which, surprisingly, has its own charm. After all, not every dragon can say they’ve been invited to roast marshmallows by a phoenix. Sure, it’s not the most “dragon-y” thing, but Sizzle figures, if you can’t beat the fire, you might as well have fun with it. Fluff's Backstory Fluff wasn't your typical phoenix. While most phoenixes were born in dramatic bursts of flame, emerging from their ashes like feathered gods of fire, Fluff's birth was more of a... poof. There was a small spark, a half-hearted crackle, and then, out came Fluff—looking less like a fearsome firebird and more like a fluffy chick that got caught in a toaster. Instead of commanding the skies with blazing power, Fluff looked like he should be chasing breadcrumbs at a picnic. As a baby phoenix, Fluff had all the fiery potential of his ancestors, except for one tiny problem—he couldn’t control it. Every sneeze, hiccup, or even a slight twitch of his wings resulted in something spontaneously combusting. Once, he sneezed so hard he accidentally set the sky on fire for a whole afternoon. That wasn’t even the worst of it. At one point, Fluff tried to take a nap in a tree, and, well… let’s just say that tree is now a permanent pile of ash. Forest creatures quickly learned that hanging out with Fluff was a bit of a gamble. Despite his fiery mishaps, Fluff had an annoyingly positive attitude. “It’s all part of the process!” he would chirp after unintentionally torching an innocent flower bed. His family wasn’t so sure. Phoenixes were supposed to be majestic creatures of rebirth and flame, but Fluff? Fluff was like a walking fire hazard with wings. His parents, who were on their fifth reincarnation by this point, just kept giving him awkward smiles and murmuring, “He’ll grow into it… won’t he?” But as time went on, it became clear that Fluff was never going to be the serious, majestic phoenix they’d hoped for. Instead, he was the kind of bird who found joy in starting accidental fires and saw every flaming disaster as an opportunity to make new friends. That’s how he met Sizzle, the little dragon who was just as clumsy with fire as he was. The two bonded over their shared inability to not set things on fire. While other creatures avoided them like the plague, Fluff and Sizzle saw each other as the perfect partners in crime—or, at the very least, in minor forest fire incidents. Now, Fluff spends his days fluttering around, accidentally setting fire to things and making the most of his not-so-majestic phoenix life. Sure, he’s not the intimidating, fiery phoenix of legend, but who needs all that pressure? Fluff’s philosophy is simple: if you’re going to accidentally set the world on fire, you might as well enjoy the warmth. Love the quirky and fiery friendship of Fluff and Sizzle? Now you can bring their hilarious antics and heartwarming bond into your own space! Whether you’re looking to challenge yourself with a puzzle that captures their magical moment, send some laughter with a personalized greeting card, or elevate your décor with a stunning canvas print, we've got you covered. You can even stick a little bit of their charm anywhere with a sticker! Whichever way you choose, these products are the perfect way to bring the whimsical and fiery spirit of this duo into your life.