forest escapades

by Bill Tiepelman

The Gnome and the Glittering Dragonfly

Deep in the heart of the enchanted Blackthorn Forest, where mushrooms glow and trees gossip louder than the village blacksmith, lived a gnome named Thimblewick Featherfoot—“Thim” to his friends, if he had any. Thim wasn’t your average gnome. He hated gardening, scoffed at baking pies, and, worst of all, despised mushrooms. Instead, he had a singular obsession: riding dragonflies. Now, riding dragonflies wasn’t exactly encouraged among gnomes. For one, dragonflies were notoriously difficult to saddle. They were also prone to fits of ego if you complimented their wings too much. But Thim had spent years perfecting his craft, whispering sweet nothings to the glimmering insects and bribing them with honeydew and compliments like, "Oh, you magnificent flitter-beast, your wings could shame the stars!" On one fateful morning, as the sunlight filtered through the forest canopy in golden beams, Thim stood at the edge of the babbling Brooklynn Stream. Clad in his finest red hat (with a jaunty tilt, thank you very much) and freshly polished boots, he whistled a jaunty tune. Moments later, his pride and joy descended from the treetops with a dramatic flourish. Her name was Glitterbug—a dragonfly the size of a corgi, with eyes that shimmered like disco balls and wings that refracted light into rainbows. "Ah, my glorious Glitterbug," Thim cooed, adjusting his glasses. "Ready for another daring escapade?" Glitterbug didn’t respond verbally—she wasn’t that kind of dragonfly—but the enthusiastic flap of her wings told him she was game. The Takeoff Strapping on a harness made of enchanted spider silk (don’t ask where he got it), Thim hopped onto Glitterbug’s back with the grace of a potato rolling off a table. “Onward, my majestic steed!” he cried, pointing dramatically toward the horizon. Glitterbug launched into the air, and Thim immediately regretted skipping breakfast. The rush of wind slapped his face, and his stomach did somersaults as they careened over the forest canopy. Below, squirrels paused mid-nut-chew to gawk, and a family of raccoons applauded politely. Thim waved back, feeling like the hero he always knew he was. The ride started smoothly—too smoothly, in fact. As they soared over the Whispering Pines, Thim spotted a flock of pixies having a tea party in the clouds. He tipped his hat to them, but they only glared back. "Oi, Glitterbug!" Thim shouted over the wind. "How about we show those snooty pixies some real aerobatics, eh?" Before Glitterbug could protest (or maybe she was just thrilled by the idea), Thim pulled the reins, and the dragonfly spiraled into a corkscrew maneuver that would have made a hawk jealous. The pixies gasped and spilled their tea. "Gnome!" one shouted. "You’ll pay for that!" "Put it on my tab!" Thim hollered back, laughing so hard he nearly fell off. The Trouble Begins As they soared over the shimmering Moonlit Marshes, things took a turn. A sudden gust of magical wind—likely stirred up by an annoyed wizard with bad aim—sent Glitterbug veering sideways. Thim clung to the reins for dear life, his hat flying off into the marsh below. "My hat!" he yelled, scandalized. "That was limited edition!" Worse still, the gust had brought unwanted company. A flock of Gremlock Crows, infamous for their love of shiny objects, spotted Glitterbug’s iridescent wings and decided they’d like to add her to their collection. "Shoo!" Thim shouted, waving his arms. "She’s not for sale!" But the crows cackled and dove after them like feathery missiles. "Glitterbug, evasive maneuvers!" Thim barked, and the dragonfly obeyed. They looped and zigzagged through the sky, narrowly avoiding the snapping beaks of the greedy birds. At one point, Thim grabbed a stale biscuit from his pocket and hurled it at the crows. "Fetch, you winged hooligans!" It worked, momentarily distracting the flock as they squabbled over the snack. But their relief was short-lived. Just as they escaped the crows, they entered the territory of the dreaded Fangtooth Fishers—giant, airborne fish with glowing eyes and a penchant for anything gnome-sized. The Great Escape "Oh, come on!" Thim groaned as one of the fish lunged at them, its mouth full of needle-sharp teeth. "Why does everything in this forest want to eat me? I’m mostly beard!" Glitterbug darted left, then right, dodging the snapping jaws of the fish with astonishing agility. Thim, meanwhile, rummaged through his bag of tricks. He pulled out a vial of Pixie Dust™ ("Guaranteed to Sparkle") and hurled it at their pursuers. The cloud of glittery powder exploded in a dazzling display, confusing the fish and sending them floundering back into the marsh below. As the dust settled, Glitterbug flew higher, carrying them above the chaos. Thim let out a triumphant laugh, patting his trusty dragonfly on the head. "That’s my girl! We make quite the team, don’t we?" Glitterbug buzzed in agreement—or maybe she was just hungry. A (Mostly) Happy Ending They eventually landed safely back at the Brooklynn Stream, where Thim collapsed onto the mossy ground, utterly exhausted but grinning from ear to ear. "What an adventure, Glitterbug!" he said, reaching for his bag. "Next time, we bring snacks and a helmet. And maybe a flamethrower." Glitterbug gave him a look that clearly said, "Next time? You’re kidding, right?" before fluttering off to rest on a nearby flower. As Thim lay there, staring up at the sky, a passing squirrel dropped his hat onto his chest. "Ah, you magnificent tree rat," Thim murmured. "You’re invited to the victory party." And thus, Thimblewick Featherfoot’s legend grew, cementing his reputation as the gnome who dared to dream big—and occasionally got chased by flying fish. Somewhere, deep in the forest, the pixies were still plotting their revenge. But that, dear reader, is a story for another day.    Bring the Magic Home Love the whimsical world of Thimblewick Featherfoot and Glitterbug? You can now capture the enchantment of their daring adventures with beautifully crafted products inspired by "The Gnome and the Glittering Dragonfly". Perfect as gifts or for adding a touch of fantasy to your daily life, these items are a must-have for any fan of magical tales! Tapestries – Transform any space into an enchanting forest scene with this stunning artwork. Puzzles – Piece together the magic, one puzzle at a time, and relive the adventure! Tote Bags – Carry a bit of whimsy with you wherever you go with these vibrant, practical bags. Metal Prints – Showcase the brilliance of this fantasy tale with high-quality metal prints that capture every dazzling detail. Explore the full collection and bring home a piece of the magic today! 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by Bill Tiepelman

Moonshroom Mischief: A Gnome’s Night Out

There are few things in life Clyde the Gnome loved more than a bottle of Shroomy Moonshine. Tonight, he had several. The potent brew, made from God-knows-what fungi and who-knows-where ingredients, was a staple in Clyde's life, especially during these lonely, booze-fueled treks into the woods. The night was cool, the moon hung low, and Clyde was ready for trouble. His vision was already swimming, but it didn't stop him from popping open another bottle with a loud crack, spilling a bit of the liquid gold onto his dirt-covered boots. "Ah, who needs fancy boots anyway," Clyde muttered, waving his bottle dismissively at his own feet as he tilted his head back and took a long gulp. The stars above spun lazily, almost as if they were having a private joke at his expense. "To the Woods, Let’s Go Ride!" "To the woods!" he slurred triumphantly, raising his bottle in the air like some deranged conqueror. "Let’s go ride!" Ride what? He had no idea. But it didn’t matter. His alcohol-soaked brain was convinced that something, anything, was waiting out there for him to tame. Maybe a squirrel, maybe a badger. Maybe even a tree stump if it came down to it. Tonight, he was on a mission. He stumbled forward, swaying between trees, his oversized red hat flopping around like a flag in the wind. The forest floor was a mix of fallen leaves, mushrooms, and roots waiting to trip him up. Clyde had no concern for any of that though. No, he was lost in a world of his own—where everything was a little too bright, a little too blurry, and everything definitely felt funnier than it actually was. His boots thudded against the forest floor, scuffed and worn from countless nights of gnome-sized debauchery. The soles were so thin that each step felt like a direct conversation with the earth. "Damn dirt," he growled, shaking his foot out as if that would get rid of the clumps of mud building up around his toes. His foot caught on a large mushroom, sending him sprawling face-first into the dirt. The Fall For a moment, all was quiet. Clyde’s face was planted firmly in the ground, his bottle rolled off to the side, now just a sad casualty of his inebriation. And then—laughter. Deep, booming, gnomish laughter echoed through the trees. Clyde rolled over, wiping the dirt from his bushy white beard, his eyes wide and glistening with mischief. "Ha! Tripped on a shroom! Ain’t that poetic!" he bellowed into the night. The forest remained silent, indifferent to his mirth. But Clyde didn’t need anyone to appreciate his joke. He laughed harder, clutching his sides as he lay flat on his back, staring up at the moon. His hat had fallen off somewhere in his tumble, but he wasn’t in the mood to look for it. Hats were overrated anyway. "Nature’s my friend...and dessert!" he giggled to himself, reaching out and grabbing a handful of nearby mushrooms. He sniffed one suspiciously, squinting at it under the dim light. Then, with a shrug, he popped it into his mouth. "Tastes like dirt. But dirt’s good! Good for the soul, right?" he mumbled between mouthfuls. A Gnome’s Late-Night Philosophy Eventually, Clyde picked himself up and continued his aimless journey through the woods. His bottle of Shroomy was half-empty now, but the night was young, and he still had plenty of stumbling left to do. His steps were more staggered than before, though, as if the forest floor had suddenly turned into a trampoline designed to make fools out of the drunken and clumsy. At some point—maybe minutes later, maybe hours—Clyde plopped himself down on a fallen log. His tiny gnome legs dangled off the edge, boots caked in mud, his pants torn at the knees from yet another fall he didn’t remember. But Clyde didn’t care. He sat there, swinging his legs like a child, staring into the gloom of the woods, where the trees loomed like giant shadows. He took another swig of his Shroomy Moonshine, the liquid burning its way down his throat, and sighed deeply. "Y’know…," he started, talking to no one in particular, "life ain’t so bad when ya got a bottle of this stuff, some good ol' mushrooms underfoot, and the whole forest to yourself." He paused, burping loudly. "Except for the damn squirrels. They’re little shits." As the night wore on, Clyde’s drunken musings grew more philosophical—or at least, what he thought was philosophical. "Maybe the trees are alive," he whispered conspiratorially, eyes darting to the nearest oak. "Maybe they’re listening. Maybe they’re just waiting to get revenge on us gnomes for all the times we’ve pissed on 'em." He blinked slowly, swaying in his seat. "But...eh. Who cares? A tree can’t hold a grudge... right?" The Final Stumble After another hour—or was it two?—Clyde had enough. He stood up shakily, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. His bottle was empty, his body aching from all the falls he could vaguely recall. The forest, once his playground, now seemed like a giant, looming creature ready to swallow him whole. But Clyde was undeterred. With one last, triumphant yell, he declared, "The woods may have won this round, but I’ll be back! You can’t keep a gnome down!" Then, without much ceremony, he promptly tripped over another mushroom and collapsed into a heap. And there he stayed, fast asleep, snoring loudly, a content smile on his dirt-smeared face. The bottle of Shroomy Moonshine lay beside him, and the forest, indifferent as always, carried on around him.     There once was a gnome named Clyde, Who drank ‘til his eyes opened wide. With Shroomy in hand, He could barely stand, But yelled, "To the woods! Let’s go ride!"   His boots were all scuffed from the dirt, And his brain was too fogged to assert. He tripped on a shroom, Then laughed in the gloom, Saying, “Nature’s my friend… and dessert!”         If you're interested in prints, art downloads, or licensing options for this image, you can find more details at archive.unfocussed.com.