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A Gnome’s Day Off

by Bill Tiepelman

A Gnome’s Day Off

There comes a time in every gnome’s life when he just needs to sit back, crack open a cold one, and say, “Screw it.” That’s where this little guy is today—tired of the endless nonsense of magical quests, potion brewing, and dealing with the fairy community’s constant drama (seriously, those winged little monsters never stop bickering). He’s been working overtime lately, mostly trying to fix the forest's plumbing after a particularly feisty group of trolls got into the enchanted springs and turned the water into root beer. Did you know trolls can down gallons of fizzy sugar water in minutes? Now you do. And it’s a real problem when your magical water source bubbles like it’s permanently on a sugar high. But today, no more of that. Today, our gnome friend is calling it quits. He’s swapped his staff for a Corona and his magical map for a dingy, old cooler he found in the back of a wizard's yard sale (don’t ask, it’s a long story that involves a drunken sorcerer and a very unfortunate rabbit). Look at him. Perched there in his ripped jeans, his hat so massive you could fit a family of squirrels under it. He’s the very picture of “don’t give a flying broomstick.” That beard? Pure wisdom. Or maybe just an excellent beer filter. And that cooler? That’s not just any cooler. It’s seen things. Dark, sticky, inexplicable things. But most importantly, it’s keeping his beer ice-cold, and that’s all that matters today. He stares out at the cracked wall in front of him, the perfect metaphor for his soul right now: a little broken, a little rugged, but still holding it together with a bit of duct tape and the occasional prayer to the gods of “just get me through the day.” A Magical Hangover? You might be wondering, “What’s a gnome doing with a Corona anyway? Shouldn’t he be drinking some mystical brew from the heart of the forest?” Nah. Our gnome’s not about that life anymore. He tried that once, and let’s just say the hangover from fairy mead is the kind of thing that makes you rethink all your life choices. Nothing like waking up in a unicorn’s stable, wearing nothing but a leaf crown and no memory of how you got there. That’s when he switched to the basics. Corona. None of that fancy enchanted crap that messes with your head. Just a regular beer for a regular day off. Simple. No frills. No magical hallucinations. And definitely no waking up under a bridge being yelled at by a troll who thinks you stole his favorite rock. Relaxation Level: Maximum So here he is, on the floor, leaning against the wall, a relaxed and slightly buzzed gnome, trying his best to forget about the absurdity of his life for a few hours. It’s not that he hates his job. I mean, who wouldn’t love turning invisible, speaking to animals, or using a wand to make pancakes float directly into your mouth? But even a wizard needs to chill out sometimes. And what better way to unwind than with a cold beer and the knowledge that somewhere, some fairy is probably losing their wings in a prank gone wrong, and it’s not your problem today. The wizard council can handle it. Or not. Whatever. Today, that’s their mess. As he takes another sip, he smiles—or at least we think he does. It’s hard to tell with all that beard. But one thing’s for sure: this gnome has mastered the art of magical laziness. Some say it’s a skill. Others call it a lifestyle choice. Our gnome just calls it “Tuesday.” The Aftermath Will he get back to his duties tomorrow? Probably. Will he face another nonsensical quest that involves saving the enchanted woods from some ridiculous creature no one’s ever heard of? Absolutely. But right now, none of that matters. All that matters is this moment, this beer, and the fact that he’s not dealing with a single enchanted animal, talking mushroom, or overly emotional sprite. As the last bit of Corona slides down his throat, he lets out a contented sigh. The world can wait. After all, even magical beings deserve a break from the chaos. And if anyone asks where he is, just tell them the truth: The gnome’s taking a damn day off.     If you’re loving the vibe of this gnome’s well-deserved day off, you can bring him into your own home—or better yet, your own break room. This image is available on prints, art downloads, and for licensing. Just head over to our gallery to get your hands on a little slice of magical relaxation. After all, who wouldn’t want to kick back with a gnome that knows how to enjoy a cold one?  

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Embers of Friendship

by Bill Tiepelman

Embers of Friendship

In a mystical forest where every leaf seemed to be on fire—not metaphorically, but literally—an unusual pair floated in the shallow waters of a glowing river: a baby phoenix named Fluff, and a tiny dragon named Sizzle. And no, this wasn’t some grand, legendary meeting between two majestic creatures destined to save the world. Nope. These two could barely save themselves from a sneeze. "Why do we even hang out here?" Sizzle asked, his stubby claws swirling the water around them. "The river’s basically lava, the trees are exploding with fire leaves every ten seconds, and I swear that squirrel tried to set my tail on fire earlier. I don’t think we're safe!" Fluff puffed up his already ridiculously fluffy feathers and looked at his dragon friend with a calm, unbothered expression. "Relax, Sizzle. The squirrel just thought your tail was a marshmallow. That’s a compliment." "Right," Sizzle said with an eye roll, swatting away a falling ember with his wing. "Because being mistaken for a snack is totally how I imagined my life going." Fluff squawked with laughter, sending a puff of tiny flames up into the air. "At least you’re not perpetually one sneeze away from spontaneous combustion!" Sizzle nodded, still not convinced. "Speaking of which, remember last week when you tried to sneeze quietly, but instead you set a whole tree on fire? Then that deer looked at us like we were the worst things to happen to nature since pollution." "It was one sneeze!" Fluff defended, throwing his wings up in mock indignation. "And I can't help it if I’m made of fire. It’s a design flaw." The two floated in silence for a moment, watching as a few more flaming leaves drifted from the autumn canopy above and sizzled in the lava-like water. There was an occasional bubbling sound as the water burped up a few embers, which was, as Sizzle liked to put it, "disgustingly unsettling." “So, what now?" Sizzle asked, clearly bored of swimming in a river that doubled as a safety hazard. “I thought we could maybe... I dunno, find a village, scare some humans, you know, the usual?” Fluff offered casually, flapping his wings so he floated a little higher above the water. “Scare some humans? You? You look like a giant ball of yarn caught fire. What’re you going to do, cuddle them to death?” Sizzle shot back, grinning. “Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a very intimidating presence!” Fluff said, puffing out his chest (which made him look even more like a fluffy orange dandelion). “Watch this.” Without warning, Fluff gave a powerful flap of his wings, launching himself out of the water and into the air. He soared up—well, more like he awkwardly wobbled upwards like a drunken pigeon—and perched on a low branch, his wings burning with fiery feathers. He looked down at Sizzle with a smug grin. “That was… something,” Sizzle said, snorting out a small puff of smoke. “But maybe next time, try to look less like you’re being chased by invisible bees.” Fluff sighed dramatically and flopped down onto the branch, causing a small fire to start on the leaves around him. “You know what? Forget scaring humans. Let’s just take over a hot springs or something. We can relax, roast some marshmallows. Maybe I can figure out how to not sneeze fire for once.” Sizzle’s eyes lit up at the mention of marshmallows. “Now that is the best idea you’ve had all day.” Just then, a single ember floated down and landed on Sizzle’s tail, igniting it like a tiny sparkler. He stared at it for a second, then sighed. “But first, let me put my butt out.” As the phoenix and dragon made their way down the glowing river, leaving behind a trail of smoking footprints, one thing was clear: they may have been made of fire, but their friendship burned brighter than any flame in the forest. Even if they occasionally set things on fire... unintentionally.     Sizzle's Backstory Born into a proud lineage of fearsome dragons, Sizzle was, well... the family disappointment. While his ancestors could breathe firestorms that could scorch entire villages, Sizzle could barely manage a puff of smoke that smelled suspiciously like burnt toast. To make matters worse, his siblings were all soaring through the skies, spitting fireballs like seasoned warriors. And then there was Sizzle—afraid of heights and forever stuck on the ground, where the only thing he could successfully roast was his own tail. From the moment he hatched, it was clear Sizzle was destined for something... different. His egg didn’t crack with a mighty boom, but more of a polite “pop” followed by a weak sparkle. The dragon midwife even asked, “Is this egg defective, or are we just going for subtle?” Despite this, Sizzle’s parents were hopeful. After all, every dragon goes through awkward phases, right? Wrong. Sizzle’s awkward phase seemed to be permanent. By the time Sizzle was three, it became clear that traditional dragon activities were not in his cards. Flight lessons? He’d spend more time flapping around in circles than actually gaining any altitude. Fire-breathing practice? He sneezed once and accidentally roasted his own snack. Twice. Let’s not even talk about the time he tried to roar—it was more of a squeak. His parents took to explaining him as “a work in progress,” while Sizzle secretly wished he could just master the art of not embarrassing himself in front of the village squirrels. But what Sizzle lacked in brute force, he made up for with a sharp wit, a knack for sarcasm, and the strange ability to befriend creatures no dragon had business talking to. That’s how he met Fluff, the baby phoenix. While other dragons would’ve tried to eat a phoenix on sight, Sizzle just figured, “Hey, another walking fire hazard. Maybe we’ll get along.” And they did—kind of like two flame-retardant peas in a lava-filled pod. Sizzle might not have been the fire-breathing terror his family wanted, but he’d long since accepted that his talents lay elsewhere. Like being the only dragon who could make a phoenix laugh so hard it nearly sneezed itself into a fireball. Now, instead of burning down villages, Sizzle spends his days setting things on fire purely by accident, which, surprisingly, has its own charm. After all, not every dragon can say they’ve been invited to roast marshmallows by a phoenix. Sure, it’s not the most “dragon-y” thing, but Sizzle figures, if you can’t beat the fire, you might as well have fun with it.   Fluff's Backstory Fluff wasn't your typical phoenix. While most phoenixes were born in dramatic bursts of flame, emerging from their ashes like feathered gods of fire, Fluff's birth was more of a... poof. There was a small spark, a half-hearted crackle, and then, out came Fluff—looking less like a fearsome firebird and more like a fluffy chick that got caught in a toaster. Instead of commanding the skies with blazing power, Fluff looked like he should be chasing breadcrumbs at a picnic. As a baby phoenix, Fluff had all the fiery potential of his ancestors, except for one tiny problem—he couldn’t control it. Every sneeze, hiccup, or even a slight twitch of his wings resulted in something spontaneously combusting. Once, he sneezed so hard he accidentally set the sky on fire for a whole afternoon. That wasn’t even the worst of it. At one point, Fluff tried to take a nap in a tree, and, well… let’s just say that tree is now a permanent pile of ash. Forest creatures quickly learned that hanging out with Fluff was a bit of a gamble. Despite his fiery mishaps, Fluff had an annoyingly positive attitude. “It’s all part of the process!” he would chirp after unintentionally torching an innocent flower bed. His family wasn’t so sure. Phoenixes were supposed to be majestic creatures of rebirth and flame, but Fluff? Fluff was like a walking fire hazard with wings. His parents, who were on their fifth reincarnation by this point, just kept giving him awkward smiles and murmuring, “He’ll grow into it… won’t he?” But as time went on, it became clear that Fluff was never going to be the serious, majestic phoenix they’d hoped for. Instead, he was the kind of bird who found joy in starting accidental fires and saw every flaming disaster as an opportunity to make new friends. That’s how he met Sizzle, the little dragon who was just as clumsy with fire as he was. The two bonded over their shared inability to not set things on fire. While other creatures avoided them like the plague, Fluff and Sizzle saw each other as the perfect partners in crime—or, at the very least, in minor forest fire incidents. Now, Fluff spends his days fluttering around, accidentally setting fire to things and making the most of his not-so-majestic phoenix life. Sure, he’s not the intimidating, fiery phoenix of legend, but who needs all that pressure? Fluff’s philosophy is simple: if you’re going to accidentally set the world on fire, you might as well enjoy the warmth.    Love the quirky and fiery friendship of Fluff and Sizzle? Now you can bring their hilarious antics and heartwarming bond into your own space! Whether you’re looking to challenge yourself with a puzzle that captures their magical moment, send some laughter with a personalized greeting card, or elevate your décor with a stunning canvas print, we've got you covered. You can even stick a little bit of their charm anywhere with a sticker! Whichever way you choose, these products are the perfect way to bring the whimsical and fiery spirit of this duo into your life.  

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