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The Chromatic Dragonling: A Tale of Mischief & Mayhem

by Bill Tiepelman

The Chromatic Dragonling: A Tale of Mischief & Mayhem

The Most Unreasonable Egg Roderic was many things—an adventurer, a scholar, a man who could drink his own weight in mead without embarrassing himself (too much). But he was not, under any circumstances, a babysitter. Yet here he was, staring down at the newly hatched creature sprawled across his desk—a tiny dragon with scandalously bright scales and enormous golden eyes that screamed trouble. It had hatched from what he thought was a priceless gemstone he’d “borrowed” from the hoard of an elderly dragon named Morgath. Turns out, Morgath hadn’t been hoarding treasure. He’d been hoarding offspring. “Alright, listen,” Roderic said, rubbing his temples as the dragonling stretched its wings and yawned, completely unbothered. “I don’t know how to raise a baby dragon. I have very little patience. Also, I’m fairly sure your father would like to murder me.” The dragonling let out an exaggerated sigh—as if it were the one suffering—and then flopped onto its back, kicking its stubby little legs. Roderic narrowed his eyes. “Oh, fantastic. You’re dramatic.” In response, the dragonling blew a puff of smoke in his face. Roderic coughed, waving it away. “Rude.” The dragonling grinned. The Problem With Tiny Dragons Over the next few days, Roderic discovered something important: baby dragons were insufferable. First, the dragonling refused to eat anything normal. Fresh meat? No. Roasted chicken? A scoff. Expensive smoked salmon? Spat out onto the rug. The only thing it wanted to eat was a chunk of enchanted obsidian from Roderic’s alchemy stash. “You’re a spoiled little beast, you know that?” he muttered, watching as the dragonling gleefully crunched the magical rock like a snack. Second, it was dramatic. Everything was a performance. The dragonling would flop onto its back if ignored for too long. It would make tragic whimpering sounds when it wasn’t the center of attention. When Roderic dared to leave the room without it? Oh, the betrayal. The screams were enough to make a banshee jealous. Third, and perhaps worst of all, it was an escape artist. Roderic awoke on the third morning to find the dragonling missing. His stomach dropped. His mind immediately conjured images of it accidentally setting his cottage on fire, or worse—running into an angry mob that didn’t appreciate flying fire hazards. Throwing on his cloak, he burst through the front door… only to find the dragonling perched smugly atop his neighbor’s roof, nibbling on what appeared to be a stolen silver necklace. Lady Haversham stood below, hands on her hips. She did not look pleased. “Roderic,” she called sweetly. “Why is there a dragonling on my house?” Roderic sighed. “He’s a menace.” The dragonling chomped the necklace in half and burped. Lady Haversham stared. “I see.” Roderic pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll get him down.” Which was easier said than done. The dragonling was thrilled with its newfound height advantage and had no intention of coming down without a game of chase. Roderic had to climb onto the roof, where the little beast made a show of dodging him—skipping, fluttering just out of reach, and chirping happily as if this were the greatest entertainment of its life. Roderic, panting, finally lunged and caught the dragonling mid-air. “Got you, you little gremlin,” he grunted. The dragonling gave him an unrepentant grin and licked his nose. And that’s when Roderic realized three things: This dragonling had absolutely no respect for him. He was completely and utterly outmatched. He was going to have to raise it, whether he liked it or not. He groaned. This was going to be a long adventure.     A Very Illegal Dragon Three weeks later, Roderic had learned two valuable things about raising a dragonling: Nothing in his home was safe. Not his books, not his furniture, certainly not his dignity. Baby dragons grew fast. The once-tiny menace was now twice its original size, still small enough to perch on his shoulder but big enough to knock over shelves when it got excited (which was often). The dramatics hadn’t stopped, either. If anything, they had gotten worse. If Roderic didn’t immediately acknowledge the dragonling’s existence upon waking up, he was met with a series of high-pitched wails that could wake the dead. And the appetite? Impossible. Roderic was now regularly bribing the blacksmith for bits of enchanted metal, all while dodging questions from the local magistrate about why there were occasional flashes of dragonfire coming from his cottage. Which, technically speaking, was a felony. Baby dragons weren’t exactly legal in town. So when a loud BOOM echoed through the streets one evening, Roderic knew—instantly—it was his problem. The Jailbreak Incident He sprinted outside to find that his neighbor’s barn had been blown apart. Standing in the smoldering wreckage was his dragonling, tail flicking, eyes wide with what could only be described as giddy chaos. Next to it stood a very unimpressed city guard. “Roderic,” the guard said, folding his arms. Roderic doubled over, panting. “Hey, Captain. Fancy meeting you here.” “Do you want to explain why your dragon just exploded a barn?” The dragonling puffed up indignantly. It chirped. Roderic straightened, pushing sweat-damp hair out of his face. “I feel like ‘exploded’ is a strong word.” The captain pointed to the burning rubble. “Is it?” Roderic sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll pay for it.” “You will,” the captain agreed, then lowered his voice. “You need to get that thing out of town. If the magistrate finds out—” “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Roderic turned to the dragonling. “Well, congratulations, you tiny disaster. We’re fugitives now.” On the Run Fleeing town in the dead of night with a smug baby dragon was not how Roderic had planned his life, and yet here he was—leading his horse through the forest, cursing under his breath as the dragonling perched on the saddle like a royal prince. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he muttered. The dragonling yawned, utterly unrepentant. “Oh, don’t act innocent. You blew up a barn.” It flicked its tail. Chirp. Roderic groaned. “I should’ve left you on that roof.” But they both knew that was a lie. He was stuck with this dragonling. And, worse, a part of him didn’t mind. The wind rustled through the trees. In the distance, he heard the faint sound of riders—probably guards searching for them. He exhaled. “Well, little terror, looks like we’re going on an adventure.” The dragonling blinked, then nuzzled against his cheek. Roderic grumbled. “Ugh. You can’t bribe me with cuteness.” It licked his ear. He sighed. “Fine. Maybe a little.” And so, with no destination in mind and a very illegal dragonling in tow, Roderic took his first step into the unknown. To Be Continued…?     Bring The Chromatic Dragonling Home! Fallen in love with this mischievous little dragon? Now you can keep a piece of its playful magic with you! Whether you want to add a touch of whimsy to your walls, cozy up with its fiery charm, or carry its adventurous spirit wherever you go, we’ve got just the thing: ✨ Tapestries – Transform any space with a touch of dragon magic. 🖼️ Canvas Prints – A stunning centerpiece for any fantasy lover. 🛋️ Throw Pillows – Because every couch deserves a bit of dragon mischief. 👜 Tote Bags – Take the adventure with you wherever you go. 🔥 Stickers – Add a little dragon attitude to your world. Don’t just read about The Chromatic Dragonling—bring it into your realm!

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Lost in a World Too Big

by Bill Tiepelman

Lost in a World Too Big

The first thing Fizzlebop noticed upon hatching was that the world was entirely too loud, too bright, and too full of things that did not immediately cater to his needs. A terrible injustice, really. He blinked his enormous blue eyes, stretching his stubby wings with an exasperated sigh. The nest was empty. His siblings had hatched before him, leaving behind only cracked eggshells and a lingering warmth. How typical. They never waited for him. "Ugh," he muttered, dragging his tiny tail across the soft moss. "Abandoned at birth. Tragic." Fizzlebop attempted to stand, only to topple forward, his little claws scrabbling against the ground. "Oh yes, very majestic. Future ruler of the skies, right here," he grumbled, rolling onto his back. "Might as well leave me here to perish." The sky above him was a swirl of pastels, stars twinkling like they had something to be smug about. "Don't just sit there looking all mysterious," he huffed at them. "Help me!" The stars, as expected, did not assist. With a great effort, he managed to sit upright, his wings flaring dramatically for balance. He squinted into the distance, where flickering firelight suggested the rest of his nestmates were already feasting with their mother. "Of course they started without me," he muttered. "Because why wouldn't they?" Then, just to test if life was truly out to get him, Fizzlebop attempted to take a single confident step forward. His foot met a particularly devious rock, and he promptly face-planted. "Oh, I see how it is," he growled, flopping onto his side. "Fine. I'll just stay here. Alone. Forever. Probably get eaten by something big and toothy." Something rustled nearby. Fizzlebop froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned his head—only to come face to face with a fox. A very hungry-looking fox. The fox tilted its head, clearly confused by the sight of a baby dragon glaring up at it with an expression of profound irritation. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, overgrown rodent," he said, voice full of bratty confidence. "I am a dragon. A creature of legend. A force of nature." He puffed up his chest. "I will breathe fire upon you." Silence. The fox remained unimpressed. Fizzlebop inhaled deeply, ready to unleash his terrifying flame… and promptly sneezed. A pathetic little spark fizzled into the air. The fox blinked. Fizzlebop blinked. Then, with a sigh, he flopped onto his back and groaned. "Fine. Just eat me and get it over with." Instead of attacking, the fox sniffed him once, let out an unimpressed huff, and trotted away. "Yeah, that's right," Fizzlebop called after it. "Run, coward!" He lay there for a moment longer before muttering, "I didn't want to be eaten anyway." Then, grumbling to himself, he got back onto his feet and stomped toward the firelight, ready to make a dramatic entrance and demand his rightful place at the feast. Because if he was going to suffer in this unfair world, the least he could do was make everyone else suffer with him.     Fizzlebop marched—well, wobbled—toward the glow of the firelight, muttering under his breath about betrayal, neglect, and the sheer injustice of being the last to hatch. His tiny claws crunched against the frost-covered ground, his tail flicking dramatically with each exaggerated step. “Oh yes, just leave the baby behind,” he grumbled. “Forget about poor, defenseless Fizzlebop. Not like I could have been eaten or anything.” He paused and shuddered. “By a fox. A fox, of all things.” The campfire flickered ahead, surrounded by his siblings, who were rolling around in a pile of meat scraps like the uncultured beasts they were. Their mother, a great silver dragon with molten gold eyes, lay nearby, preening her wings, looking—for lack of a better word—smug. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. They had noticed his absence. They just hadn’t cared. Well. That would not stand. He inhaled deeply, summoning every ounce of injustice and rage within his tiny frame, and let out a battle cry: “HOW DARE YOU.” The entire nest froze. His siblings blinked at him, meat dangling from their stupid little jaws. His mother arched an elegant brow. Fizzlebop stomped forward. “Do you have ANY idea what I have been through?” he demanded, wings flaring. “Do you know the STRUGGLES I have faced?” Silence. Fizzlebop did not care. He was going to tell them anyway. “First of all, I was abandoned,” he declared. “Cast out, left to suffer, forced to hatch in solitude like some tragic hero in a forgotten legend.” He placed a claw against his chest, looking to the heavens. “And then! As if that weren’t bad enough—” His mother exhaled loudly through her nose. “Fizzlebop, you hatched twenty minutes late.” Fizzlebop gasped. “Twenty minutes? Oh, I see. So I should just be grateful that my own family left me to perish in the cruel, unfeeling wilds?!” His mother stared at him. His siblings stared at him. One of them, a chubby dragon named Soot, licked his eyeball. Fizzlebop groaned. “You absolute buffoons.” He marched straight to the pile of meat, sat his tiny, frostbitten rear down, and grabbed the largest scrap he could find. “You’re all terrible, and I hate you,” he declared before stuffing his face. His mother sighed and stretched her wings. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Fizzlebop waved a dismissive claw. “Yes, yes, I’m adorable, I’m a delight, I’m a gift to this family.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But also, you should all suffer for your crimes.” His mother huffed a plume of smoke, which he chose to interpret as deep shame and regret. His belly now full, Fizzlebop curled into the warm pile of his siblings, who accepted his presence with the kind of easygoing obliviousness only dragons (and very stupid people) could manage. And as he drifted off to sleep, his mother’s tail curling around them for warmth, Fizzlebop allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smirk. For all his righteous suffering… being part of a family wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Probably.     Take Fizzlebop Home! Love Fizzlebop’s adorable mischief? Bring this tiny dragon into your life with stunning prints and merchandise! Whether you want to add some whimsical charm to your home or carry a piece of dragon-sized attitude with you, we’ve got you covered: 🖼️ Acrylic Prints – For a sleek, high-gloss way to showcase Fizzlebop’s expressive pout. 🎭 Tapestries – Transform any space into a fantasy realm with a larger-than-life baby dragon. 👜 Tote Bags – Carry your essentials in style, and let everyone know you're as dramatic as Fizzlebop. 💌 Greeting Cards – Send a message with maximum sarcasm and cuteness. Get yours now and let Fizzlebop bring his bratty charm into your world! 🔥🐉

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Gotham's Firebreathing Hero

by Bill Tiepelman

Gotham's Firebreathing Hero

Gotham's Firebreathing Hero: A Bat-Dragon with Issues Everyone thinks being a hero is all about dramatic rooftop poses, cool gadgets, and maybe a bit of saving the city. Sure, I do all that. But try doing it as a dragon, with wings that don’t fit in phone booths (do they even have those anymore?) and claws that rip through your own costume like it’s made of tissue paper. Oh, and breathing fire? Not as cool as it sounds. The Day It All Went to Hell Let’s rewind to my latest "mission." A gang of thieves decided to knock over a Gotham jewelry store. Pretty standard Tuesday night. I perched on a building opposite, overlooking the whole thing, preparing for my big entrance. “Time to look cool,” I muttered to myself, puffing out my chest and making sure my bat emblem was perfectly visible. You’d think being part dragon means naturally intimidating. Yeah, no. Gotta strike a pose. Look menacing. But with wings? It’s hard not to look like a flying squirrel having a bad day. I swooped down from the rooftop—wings spread, cape flapping—and landed on the sidewalk with a thud. My claws left scratches all over the pavement, which, by the way, the city is so going to charge me for. Gotham’s insurance rates suck. I marched into the store like the badass dragon I am, only to step on a "WET FLOOR" sign. “Seriously?” I grumbled as my talons skidded. The employees stared, jaws dropped, and one of the robbers? He straight-up dropped his gun and burst out laughing. “This dragon guy's gotta be kidding.” “Yeah, laugh it up, smartass,” I said, baring my teeth, though it came out more like a hissy cough because, you know, fire-breathing doesn’t always work on command. “You’re about to have a very bad day.” One of the robbers raised a gun, and out of sheer habit, I puffed out my chest to blow a stream of fire—except I accidentally aimed at a rack of expensive jewelry. The store instantly became a bonfire, and I had to hear the jewelry store owner screeching about how “THE SAPPHIRES! YOU BURNED THE SAPPHIRES!!” “Well, maybe don’t leave your flammable gemstones out for dragons to torch.” Fire-Breathing... Issues Look, no one tells you how awkward it is to manage fire when you're trying to be a hero. Think it’s easy? Try managing some villain while also mentally calculating how much damage your last fire blast caused. By the time I grabbed the thieves and tied them up with some wire—ignoring the fact that I knocked over three display cases and set off five smoke alarms—the place looked like someone hosted a barbecue in the middle of a Tiffany’s. As I dragged the gang of idiots out the door, I couldn’t help but smirk at my “work.” “Another successful rescue by Gotham’s Firebreathing Hero.” The cops showed up just in time to look at the carnage and scowl at me. Again. “You’re paying for the damages, Bat-Dragon.” “Sure thing, Officer. Just send the bill to my offshore dragon hoard.” No sense of humor. Seriously. A Hero Complex? Maybe. Yeah, I have what people call a “hero complex.” But it’s Gotham. Someone’s gotta stop the thieves and muggers, right? Even if I do occasionally fry the merchandise... or melt a sidewalk. Or two. Okay, maybe three. But heroes aren’t perfect, especially when they have to deal with wings and flames coming out of their nostrils. The problem with wings? Every time I land, I destroy something. Concrete, cars, the occasional trash can that happens to be in my way—oops. Try dealing with a cape that gets tangled in your tail or trying to squeeze into tight alleyways while making sure you don't knock over a building. So yes, I occasionally set the wrong thing on fire. It happens. But let me ask you—how do you expect me to concentrate on capturing villains and making sure I don't roast your precious storefronts? Honestly, isn’t it better to have a bat-themed dragon hero who's a little rough around the edges than none at all? You’re welcome, Gotham. And let’s talk about the villains. I’m telling you, these guys are ridiculous. Last week, I had to deal with a guy calling himself the "Jewel Jaguar." I mean, come on—what is it with these Gotham criminals and their obsession with cat-themed monikers? The worst part? I ended up torching his getaway car by accident and set off the sprinkler system in three different buildings trying to "correct" it. I swear, half of Gotham's property damage is on me. Hero Hotline: Unfiltered You think being a hero is all about glory? Let me enlighten you. Crime-fighting: It’s 80% waiting for something to happen and 20% accidentally destroying public property. Utility belt: Do you know how hard it is to fit my wings into a costume that comes with a utility belt? There’s a reason why most dragons don’t wear pants. Public image: Every time I land to "save the day," it’s a 50/50 chance whether the citizens are going to thank me or sue me. Mostly sue me. So yes, I have some fire-breathing "issues." But hey, if Gotham needs someone to scare the crap out of criminals (and, occasionally, bystanders), I’m your dragon. A bit of collateral damage here and there? All part of the job. But don’t worry—I always leave a good impression. Well, mostly in the form of claw marks and scorch marks, but still. Always a Hero At the end of the day, I get the job done—sometimes with extra smoke, occasionally with singed capes, and yeah, okay, a burnt storefront or two. But when you see a fire-breathing bat-dragon flying above Gotham, you know the city's under *some* kind of protection. Just ignore the smoldering bits. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find some fireproof replacement tights. Again. Want more dragon-fueled chaos? Let us know in the comments below. Just try not to trip over any "Wet Floor" signs.    Get Your Own Piece of Gotham's Firebreathing Hero While I might be busy saving Gotham (and occasionally burning it), you can take a little piece of this fiery dragon-hero home with you. Whether you’re into puzzles, tapestries, or just need something to dry off with after a heroic day, we’ve got you covered! Gotham’s Firebreathing Hero Puzzle – Piece together this epic dragon in all his fiery glory. Perfect for when you need a break from fighting crime (or setting things on fire). Gotham’s Firebreathing Hero Tapestry – Transform your walls with the ultimate heroic decor. It’s like having me guard your living room. Just don’t hang it near the candles. Gotham’s Firebreathing Hero Bath Towel – Dry off in style with a towel featuring your favorite bat-dragon. No promises it’s flame-resistant. Gotham’s Firebreathing Hero Poster – Hang this bad boy up and feel the power of the dragon. Warning: may inspire spontaneous rooftop posing. Get yours today, and remember—if you can't fight crime like a dragon, at least you can decorate like one!

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