sassy dragon

by Bill Tiepelman

Lost in a World Too Big

The first thing Fizzlebop noticed upon hatching was that the world was entirely too loud, too bright, and too full of things that did not immediately cater to his needs. A terrible injustice, really. He blinked his enormous blue eyes, stretching his stubby wings with an exasperated sigh. The nest was empty. His siblings had hatched before him, leaving behind only cracked eggshells and a lingering warmth. How typical. They never waited for him. "Ugh," he muttered, dragging his tiny tail across the soft moss. "Abandoned at birth. Tragic." Fizzlebop attempted to stand, only to topple forward, his little claws scrabbling against the ground. "Oh yes, very majestic. Future ruler of the skies, right here," he grumbled, rolling onto his back. "Might as well leave me here to perish." The sky above him was a swirl of pastels, stars twinkling like they had something to be smug about. "Don't just sit there looking all mysterious," he huffed at them. "Help me!" The stars, as expected, did not assist. With a great effort, he managed to sit upright, his wings flaring dramatically for balance. He squinted into the distance, where flickering firelight suggested the rest of his nestmates were already feasting with their mother. "Of course they started without me," he muttered. "Because why wouldn't they?" Then, just to test if life was truly out to get him, Fizzlebop attempted to take a single confident step forward. His foot met a particularly devious rock, and he promptly face-planted. "Oh, I see how it is," he growled, flopping onto his side. "Fine. I'll just stay here. Alone. Forever. Probably get eaten by something big and toothy." Something rustled nearby. Fizzlebop froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned his head—only to come face to face with a fox. A very hungry-looking fox. The fox tilted its head, clearly confused by the sight of a baby dragon glaring up at it with an expression of profound irritation. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, overgrown rodent," he said, voice full of bratty confidence. "I am a dragon. A creature of legend. A force of nature." He puffed up his chest. "I will breathe fire upon you." Silence. The fox remained unimpressed. Fizzlebop inhaled deeply, ready to unleash his terrifying flame… and promptly sneezed. A pathetic little spark fizzled into the air. The fox blinked. Fizzlebop blinked. Then, with a sigh, he flopped onto his back and groaned. "Fine. Just eat me and get it over with." Instead of attacking, the fox sniffed him once, let out an unimpressed huff, and trotted away. "Yeah, that's right," Fizzlebop called after it. "Run, coward!" He lay there for a moment longer before muttering, "I didn't want to be eaten anyway." Then, grumbling to himself, he got back onto his feet and stomped toward the firelight, ready to make a dramatic entrance and demand his rightful place at the feast. Because if he was going to suffer in this unfair world, the least he could do was make everyone else suffer with him.     Fizzlebop marched—well, wobbled—toward the glow of the firelight, muttering under his breath about betrayal, neglect, and the sheer injustice of being the last to hatch. His tiny claws crunched against the frost-covered ground, his tail flicking dramatically with each exaggerated step. “Oh yes, just leave the baby behind,” he grumbled. “Forget about poor, defenseless Fizzlebop. Not like I could have been eaten or anything.” He paused and shuddered. “By a fox. A fox, of all things.” The campfire flickered ahead, surrounded by his siblings, who were rolling around in a pile of meat scraps like the uncultured beasts they were. Their mother, a great silver dragon with molten gold eyes, lay nearby, preening her wings, looking—for lack of a better word—smug. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. They had noticed his absence. They just hadn’t cared. Well. That would not stand. He inhaled deeply, summoning every ounce of injustice and rage within his tiny frame, and let out a battle cry: “HOW DARE YOU.” The entire nest froze. His siblings blinked at him, meat dangling from their stupid little jaws. His mother arched an elegant brow. Fizzlebop stomped forward. “Do you have ANY idea what I have been through?” he demanded, wings flaring. “Do you know the STRUGGLES I have faced?” Silence. Fizzlebop did not care. He was going to tell them anyway. “First of all, I was abandoned,” he declared. “Cast out, left to suffer, forced to hatch in solitude like some tragic hero in a forgotten legend.” He placed a claw against his chest, looking to the heavens. “And then! As if that weren’t bad enough—” His mother exhaled loudly through her nose. “Fizzlebop, you hatched twenty minutes late.” Fizzlebop gasped. “Twenty minutes? Oh, I see. So I should just be grateful that my own family left me to perish in the cruel, unfeeling wilds?!” His mother stared at him. His siblings stared at him. One of them, a chubby dragon named Soot, licked his eyeball. Fizzlebop groaned. “You absolute buffoons.” He marched straight to the pile of meat, sat his tiny, frostbitten rear down, and grabbed the largest scrap he could find. “You’re all terrible, and I hate you,” he declared before stuffing his face. His mother sighed and stretched her wings. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Fizzlebop waved a dismissive claw. “Yes, yes, I’m adorable, I’m a delight, I’m a gift to this family.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But also, you should all suffer for your crimes.” His mother huffed a plume of smoke, which he chose to interpret as deep shame and regret. His belly now full, Fizzlebop curled into the warm pile of his siblings, who accepted his presence with the kind of easygoing obliviousness only dragons (and very stupid people) could manage. And as he drifted off to sleep, his mother’s tail curling around them for warmth, Fizzlebop allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smirk. For all his righteous suffering… being part of a family wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Probably.     Take Fizzlebop Home! Love Fizzlebop’s adorable mischief? Bring this tiny dragon into your life with stunning prints and merchandise! Whether you want to add some whimsical charm to your home or carry a piece of dragon-sized attitude with you, we’ve got you covered: 🖼️ Acrylic Prints – For a sleek, high-gloss way to showcase Fizzlebop’s expressive pout. 🎭 Tapestries – Transform any space into a fantasy realm with a larger-than-life baby dragon. 👜 Tote Bags – Carry your essentials in style, and let everyone know you're as dramatic as Fizzlebop. 💌 Greeting Cards – Send a message with maximum sarcasm and cuteness. Get yours now and let Fizzlebop bring his bratty charm into your world! 🔥🐉

by Bill Tiepelman

The Little Dragon of Heartfire

In a lush jungle where the air was thick with the scent of blooming flowers and the gossip of chatty parrots, there existed a dragon named Ember. Now, Ember wasn’t your average dragon. For starters, she was barely the size of a house cat, and her flames wouldn’t scorch a marshmallow. But what Ember lacked in size and firepower, she more than made up for in personality. She was feisty, fabulous, and, let’s just say, a little too invested in everyone else’s love life. Ember was no ordinary jungle inhabitant—she was Cupid’s subcontractor. Yes, that Cupid. The chubby baby with the bow? Turns out he had been phoning it in for centuries, and Ember, with her glittery wings and neon-red heart necklace, was the one actually keeping the romance industry afloat. "Love doesn’t just happen," Ember would say, usually while eavesdropping on someone’s awkward first date. "It needs a little… zhuzh." One year, as Valentine’s Day approached, Ember was busier than ever. The jungle was in chaos. Toucans were squabbling over whose turn it was to bring home the heart-shaped berries, a pair of jaguars were in a cold war over some misplaced grooming duties, and the sloths were taking “slow burn” romance far too literally. It was, in a word, exhausting. But Ember, with her unparalleled work ethic and a sparkling sense of humor, was ready to work her magic. First stop: the toucans. Perched on a vine, Ember listened to their melodramatic exchange. “You never appreciate me!” squawked the female. “I literally built you a nest!” screeched the male. Rolling her enormous dragon eyes, Ember muttered, “This is why I drink… nectar.” With a snap of her tail, she conjured a cascade of glowing heart-shaped flowers to rain down over their nest. The toucans froze, stunned into silence. “There. Romance. Now shut up and enjoy it,” Ember barked before zipping off, leaving a trail of glitter in her wake. Her next project involved a pair of sloths who were locked in a decade-long “will they/won’t they” situation. “Honestly, you two are the Ross and Rachel of this jungle,” Ember groaned, her claws clicking against her scales as she watched them exchange their usual slow-motion glances. “This calls for drastic measures.” She puffed a stream of glittery smoke that swirled around the two. Suddenly, the male sloth blinked, stretched out a claw, and plucked a hibiscus flower for his lady love. The female gasped—a slow, dramatic gasp, of course—and accepted it. Ember wiped a tear from her eye. “Finally. I was about to file for early retirement,” she quipped. But the pièce de résistance of Ember’s Valentine’s escapades came when she stumbled upon Greg, the most hopeless romantic she had ever met. Greg was a botanist with a terrible habit of writing poems so cringe-worthy that even the jungle vines recoiled. His latest masterpiece was dedicated to Melissa, the woman of his dreams, who had no idea he existed. “Greg,” Ember said, landing on his desk with a flourish. “We need to talk.” Startled, Greg blinked at the tiny dragon, unsure whether he’d been working too hard or if the jungle fumes were finally getting to him. Ember, never one to waste time, grabbed his notebook and began editing his latest poem. “This? This sounds like you’re auditioning for a role as a stalker. We’re aiming for charming, not terrifying.” With a flick of her tail, she added just the right touch of romance—some metaphors about moonlight, a hint of vulnerability, and, of course, a playful line about Melissa’s laugh. When Melissa received the newly polished note, her cheeks flushed pinker than the orchids Greg had sent along with it. Within hours, Greg had a date, and Ember had a smug look on her face. “Another day, another heart saved from mediocrity,” she declared as she flew off, leaving Greg to marvel at his sudden luck. Of course, not everything went smoothly. Ember had a knack for being a little too honest. Like the time she told a pair of flamingos their synchronized courting dance was “less romantic and more ‘awkward middle school talent show.’” Or when she interrupted a tree frog’s mating call to suggest he “try a lower pitch unless he wanted to sound like a squeaky door hinge.” But despite her sass, Ember had a 100% success rate. After all, her motto was simple: "Love is messy, ridiculous, and absolutely worth it—kind of like me." As the sun set on Valentine’s Day, Ember perched on a mossy rock, watching the jungle hum with newfound romance. The toucans were cuddling, the sloths were holding hands (slowly), and Greg was nervously planning his second date. Ember stretched her glittery wings and sighed, content. “Cupid can take all the credit,” she said with a sly smile. “But let’s be honest—without me, love would be doomed.” And so, the legend of the Little Dragon of Heartfire lived on. Some say if you ever feel a sudden burst of warmth and catch the faint scent of glittery smoke, it’s Ember, making sure love remains a little wild, a little wonderful, and just the right amount of chaotic.     Bring "The Little Dragon of Heartfire" into Your Home If Ember’s fiery charm and sassy antics have captured your heart, you can bring her magic into your home! Celebrate the whimsy and wonder of this Valentine's Day legend with stunning, high-quality merchandise: Tapestry: Transform your space with this enchanting piece of wall art, featuring the radiant hues and intricate details of Ember in her magical jungle. Canvas Print: A perfect centerpiece for any room, this canvas captures every shimmering scale and heart-shaped glow of Ember’s world. Throw Pillow: Add a touch of sass and comfort to your decor with Ember’s vibrant image printed on a soft, cozy pillow. Pouch: Keep your essentials organized with this portable and practical pouch adorned with Ember’s playful spirit. Explore the full collection and let Ember light up your home, one spark at a time! Click here to shop now and celebrate the season of love with a little dragon magic.