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The Gnome and the Harvest Crown Stag

by Bill Tiepelman

The Gnome and the Harvest Crown Stag

Deep in the Emberwood Forest, where the air shimmered with golden sunlight and the crunch of leaves filled the air, a gnome named Wimble Leafwhistle was up to no good. Wimble, known as the “Acorn Ace,” had a reputation for turning the most serene woodland events into chaotic spectacles. His partner in these escapades? A regal stag named Chestnut, whose magnificent antlers were draped with garlands of acorns, autumn leaves, and berries. “All right, Chestnut,” Wimble said, perched on the stag’s back and adjusting his oversized red hat. “Today, we’re going to show this forest what true artistry looks like. Forget your boring autumn traditions—this year’s Harvest Festival will go down in history!” Chestnut gave a skeptical snort, his breath puffing in the crisp autumn air. But Wimble, as always, ignored him. He had plans. Big, ridiculous plans. The Festival Scene The Harvest Festival was the grandest event in Emberwood. Woodland creatures gathered under the Great Oak to showcase their finest acorns, pies, and decorations. Squirrels chattered excitedly as they displayed acorn sculptures. Hedgehogs offered steaming mugs of mulled cider. Even the ever-grumpy badgers had baked pumpkin tarts for the occasion. Wimble and Chestnut made their entrance with all the subtlety of a falling oak tree. The gnome had tied tiny bells to the stag’s antlers, which jingled loudly as they trotted into the clearing. Chestnut’s antlers sparkled with dew, and Wimble had even strapped a lantern to his saddle for dramatic effect. “Make way!” Wimble called, waving dramatically. “The Harvest Crown Stag and his loyal squire have arrived!” The crowd turned to stare, their chatter dying down. Elder Maple, the no-nonsense squirrel who presided over the festival, narrowed her eyes. “Wimble,” she said slowly, “what are you up to?” “Up to? Me?” Wimble asked, feigning innocence. “I’m simply here to add a touch of class to your humble gathering.” He tugged on Chestnut’s reins, and the stag reluctantly pranced forward, shaking his decorated antlers. The acorns dangling from the garlands clinked together like tiny bells. The Acorn Contest Wimble’s first target was the Great Acorn Contest, a competition where squirrels showcased their most impressive acorn collections. The entries were neatly arranged on a long table, each acorn polished to a glossy shine. Wimble leaned over to inspect them, his beard twitching with mischief. “Very nice, very nice,” he said, picking up a particularly large acorn. “But wouldn’t it be more... exciting if they moved?” Before anyone could stop him, he sprinkled a handful of enchanted “Jitter Dust” over the table. The acorns quivered, then sprouted tiny legs and began scuttling around like frantic beetles. The squirrels shrieked, diving after their runaway acorns. Elder Maple glared at Wimble. “Really?” she demanded. “What?” Wimble said, grinning. “They’re more fun this way!” The Pie Tasting Next up was the Pie Tasting Competition, a highlight of the festival. Hedgehogs, foxes, and even a family of otters had brought their finest baked goods to be judged. Wimble, of course, had no intention of letting this go smoothly. As the judges began sampling the pies, Wimble leaned over to Chestnut. “Watch this,” he whispered, pulling a tiny vial from his pocket. The label read: “Peppery Pop Powder.” With a flick of his wrist, he sprinkled the powder over the pies. Moments later, the judges took their next bites—and immediately began hiccuping tiny flames. The fox judge yelped, fanning his tongue, while the hedgehog rolled on the ground, sending sparks flying. “Fiery flavor!” Wimble declared, clapping his hands. “A bold choice!” Chestnut groaned, shaking his head as the chaos unfolded. The Antler Parade The grand finale of the festival was the Antler Parade, where the forest’s deer displayed their elaborately decorated antlers. Chestnut, with his dazzling crown of acorns and leaves, was a clear favorite—until Wimble decided to “enhance” the competition. “Hold still,” Wimble said, climbing onto Chestnut’s head and sprinkling a few enchanted berries onto the garlands. The berries began to glow, casting a shimmering red light that lit up the entire clearing. “Behold!” Wimble cried as Chestnut stepped into the parade ring. The crowd gasped in awe—but their admiration quickly turned to confusion as the berries began to pop like fireworks. Bright sparks shot into the air, startling the other deer. One buck bolted, scattering ribbons everywhere, while a doe tripped over her own garland. “WIMBLE!” Elder Maple shouted, shaking her tiny fists. “You’ve gone too far this time!” “Too far?” Wimble said, feigning shock. “This is art!” The Escape Realizing he was about to be chased out of the festival (again), Wimble tugged on Chestnut’s reins. “Time to go, buddy!” he said. The stag snorted, clearly unimpressed, but took off at a gallop, his glowing antlers lighting their path through the forest. Behind them, Elder Maple shouted, “You’re banned from the festival for life, Wimble!” “Promises, promises!” Wimble called over his shoulder, laughing. The Aftermath Later that evening, as they rested under a golden maple tree, Wimble patted Chestnut’s side. “You’ve got to admit, we stole the show,” he said, grinning. The stag rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. “Next year,” Wimble continued, “we’ll need to go even bigger. Maybe... enchanted pumpkins? What do you think?” Chestnut let out a long, weary sigh, but Wimble took it as agreement. “Knew you’d be on board,” he said, leaning back against the tree. As the golden leaves drifted down around them, Wimble smiled to himself. Chaos, laughter, and a touch of magic—just another perfect day in the Emberwood Forest.    Bring the Magic of Autumn Home Love Wimble and Chestnut’s mischievous autumn adventure? Capture the vibrant charm and whimsy of their story with our exclusive collection of products inspired by this enchanting tale: Wood Prints: Add a rustic touch to your home decor with this beautifully vibrant scene on wood. Tapestries: Transform your walls into an autumn wonderland with this magical design. Puzzles: Enjoy piecing together the fun of Wimble and Chestnut’s whimsical adventure. Tote Bags: Carry the charm of this magical woodland ride with you wherever you go. Start your collection today and let Wimble and Chestnut bring the beauty and mischief of autumn into your life!

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Beard, Boots, and Baby Dragon

by Bill Tiepelman

Beard, Boots, and Baby Dragon

Deep in the heart of the Widdershins Woods, where even the bravest adventurers dared not tread (mostly because the gnomes had lousy hygiene), lived a bearded gnome named Grimble Stumbletoe. Grimble was infamous for two things: his crass sense of humor and his inexplicably loyal companion, a pint-sized dragon named Sizzle. Together, they were the stuff of tavern tales, mostly told by those who’d had one too many and enjoyed a good laugh at Grimble's questionable antics. The Introduction of Sizzle Now, Sizzle wasn’t your average dragon. He was barely the size of a large cat and looked more like someone had stuck wings on a grumpy lizard. When Grimble first found him, curled up under a toadstool in the early hours of the morning, the gnome’s first words were, “Well, aren’t you an ugly little bugger?” To which Sizzle responded by promptly setting his beard on fire. “Ah, he’s got spirit,” Grimble cackled as he smothered the flames with a slap of his grubby hand. “I like ya already, you little menace.” And thus began the start of a beautiful, if somewhat volatile, friendship. Grimble’s Daily Routines (Or Lack Thereof) Each morning, Grimble would saunter out of his hollowed-out tree, scratch his beard, and take a deep, satisfied breath of the forest air. “Ah, smell that, Sizzle! Smells like freedom. And possibly a dead raccoon.” He’d then look down at Sizzle, who would nod with a solemn understanding, as if to say, “I too, smell the raccoon, Grimble.” For breakfast, Grimble favored a diet of mushrooms, stale bread, and whatever he could scrounge from the woodland creatures, who were less than willing to share. “Oi, squirrel, that’s mine!” he’d yell, occasionally hurling a pebble at a furry thief. Sizzle, meanwhile, would practice his fire-spitting skills, toasting bugs and once nearly incinerating Grimble’s hat. “Careful there, you fire-breathing gecko!” Grimble would say, shaking his finger. “You char my favorite hat again, and it’s roasted squirrel for dinner.” Encounters in the Forest One fine afternoon, as they strolled through a particularly dense patch of undergrowth, they encountered a lost adventurer—a young man in shiny armor, looking as fresh as a daisy and about as clueless as one, too. “Excuse me, sir,” the young man stammered, “have you seen the path to the Great Elven Temple?” Grimble eyed him with a wry grin, then leaned in close, a bit too close for comfort. “Elven Temple? Oh sure, it’s right over that hill. Just mind the goblin nests, the troll dung, and the occasional trap set by yours truly.” He winked. “Might take a while, though. So, unless you fancy an evening spent picking rocks out of yer backside, I’d suggest you turn around.” “I-I’ll keep that in mind,” the adventurer replied, pale and visibly unnerved as he backed away. Once he was out of earshot, Grimble chuckled, “Bloody do-gooders. Always thinkin’ they’re about to save the world or some such nonsense.” Sizzle let out a growl that sounded suspiciously like laughter. Evening Shenanigans As dusk fell, Grimble and Sizzle would set up camp. Grimble, who prided himself on being “one with nature” (mostly because he was too lazy to build a proper shelter), would lie back on a patch of moss and settle in for the night, regaling Sizzle with tales of his “glorious past.” “I once held off an entire pack of wolves with nothing but a pointy stick!” he boasted, making grand gestures. “Mind you, they were about as big as yer average rabbit, but wolves is wolves, right?” Sizzle, unimpressed, would snort a little puff of flame. He had a habit of turning his head as if rolling his eyes, which only encouraged Grimble to embellish further. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. And anyway, you’re no saint, ya little fire-bellied troublemaker. Remember last week when you burnt down old Miss Frumpel’s toadstool cottage?” Sizzle looked away, feigning innocence, while Grimble chuckled. “Aye, she deserved it though, always waggin’ her finger at me, tellin’ me to ‘watch my language.’ If I wanted a lecture, I’d talk to the damn owls!” Grimble’s “Heroic” Deeds One night, a commotion arose from the nearby grove. There was shouting, the clash of metal, and the unmistakable thud of something heavy crashing into a tree. “Adventure calls, Sizzle!” Grimble whispered with an overly dramatic flair, pulling his rusted dagger from his belt. “Let’s see if there’s a few coins to be made out of this mess.” They slunk through the underbrush until they found the source: a band of goblins arguing over a pile of glittering loot. “Oi!” Grimble yelled, striding out from the bushes. “Didn’t yer mothers teach ya not to make such a racket?” The goblins froze, staring at the odd pair. Grimble’s unimpressive stature and Sizzle’s miniature size made for a ridiculous sight, but Grimble was undeterred. “Now, I’ll be takin’ that shiny stuff there, and if ya make it easy, I won’t set my dragon on ya. He’s a vicious beast, see?” At that, Sizzle let out a tiny roar, barely a squeak, which only made Grimble snicker. The goblins, however, weren’t amused. With a series of hisses and snarls, they lunged. The Grand Battle (Sort Of) It was pure chaos. Goblins shrieked, Sizzle spat tiny spurts of flame, and Grimble dodged like a drunken acrobat, yelling insults at anyone who came near. “You call that a swing, you sorry excuse for a potato!” he bellowed, ducking under a goblin’s club. “My gran fights better than you, and she’s been dead three decades!” In the end, Sizzle managed to ignite a few well-placed bushes, which startled the goblins into fleeing. Grimble, panting and looking far more triumphant than he had any right to, picked up a shiny coin and spat on it to polish it. “Aye, well fought, Sizzle,” he said with a nod. “They’ll be singin’ tales of this day for sure. ‘Grimble the Bold and his Mighty Dragon,’ they’ll call it!” Sizzle tilted his head, clearly skeptical, but Grimble ignored him, pocketing a handful of the goblins’ abandoned loot with a gleeful grin. The Journey Continues The next morning, Grimble and Sizzle set off once more, as they always did, with no particular destination in mind. “So, Sizzle,” Grimble mused, “what d’you reckon we’ll find today? Perhaps a damsel in distress? Or maybe some rich fool wanderin’ through the woods, just beggin’ to lose his purse?” Sizzle gave him a sideways glance, a puff of smoke rising from his nostrils as if to say, “Or maybe you’ll just get us into more trouble.” Grimble chuckled, ruffling the little dragon’s scales. “Ah, trouble’s what keeps life interestin’, eh?” With a skip and a swagger, he strolled off into the forest, the laughter of a grumpy old gnome and the tiny roars of his loyal dragon echoing through the woods. And so they wandered on, the crassest, funniest, most mismatched duo in all of Widdershins Woods, much to the terror—and amusement—of everyone they met.    Bring Grimble and Sizzle Home If Grimble's antics and Sizzle's fiery spirit brought a smile to your face, why not bring a piece of their adventure home? This delightfully mischievous duo is available on a range of high-quality products that will add a dash of whimsical charm to any space. Check out these Beard, Boots, and Baby Dragon products, perfect for fantasy lovers and humor enthusiasts alike: Jigsaw Puzzle - Get lost in Grimble’s world piece by piece. Tapestry - Transform your wall into the heart of Widdershins Woods with this vibrant tapestry. Canvas Print - Perfect for any room that could use a bit of fantasy flair. Throw Pillow - Cozy up with Grimble and Sizzle’s hilarious companionship. Whether you’re a fan of gnomish humor or just love the idea of a dragon the size of a cat, these products let you bring a little bit of Widdershins Woods into your everyday life. Because, after all, who couldn't use a bit more magic and mischief?

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