cosmic humor

by Bill Tiepelman

Meditative Whiskers of Light

The Hippie’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions Another year, another trip around the sun. That’s what I told myself as I sat on my meditation pillow in the corner of my living room, incense smoke curling around me like the mystical tendrils of my free-spirited youth. “New Year’s resolutions,” I muttered to my cat, Cosmic Steve, who blinked at me with the detached wisdom of a being that had seen me at my worst—like that time I tried to ferment my own kombucha in 1987 and ended up with a kitchen that smelled like a Woodstock porta-potty. I scratched my beard, now streaked with a respectable amount of gray, and pondered the challenge ahead. Resolutions. They were like trying to quit sugar while holding a box of organic vegan brownies—technically good for you, but still painfully hard. “Okay, Steve,” I said, “this year, I’m gonna be serious about it. No more excuses.” Resolution #1: Eat Healthier I dusted off an old juicer I’d bought at a yard sale in 1993. It had probably made juice for some long-lost commune in Oregon, judging by the faint smell of patchouli oil that still clung to it. I tossed in some kale, a carrot, and an apple for good measure. The juicer roared like an angry bear, spitting out what looked like swamp water. I took a sip, grimaced, and immediately followed it with a shot of tequila. Cosmic Steve looked at me as if to say, “You’ve learned nothing.” Resolution #2: Exercise More “Yoga,” I decided, rolling out a mat I’d bought in the 70s. It had more stains on it than a tie-dye shirt at a Grateful Dead concert. I stretched into downward dog, which quickly devolved into downward nap. Somewhere between child’s pose and corpse pose, I dozed off, only to wake up an hour later to the sound of Steve pawing at the juicer. Exercise was off to a rough start. “Maybe tomorrow,” I said, as I shuffled to the couch to watch reruns of That 70’s Show. Resolution #3: Be More Tech-Savvy This one was Cosmic Steve’s idea. Or at least I assumed so, given the way he always walked across my keyboard while I tried to Google “how to live off the grid in 2024.” I decided to finally set up a TikTok account to spread my hippie wisdom to the masses. It didn’t go well. My first video, titled “How to Make Macramé Dreamcatchers for Your Third Eye,” got exactly three views—one of which was me trying to figure out how to delete it. “Social media’s a trap, man,” I told Steve. He didn’t disagree. Resolution #4: Be More Organized I bought a planner. A really nice one with floral patterns and inspirational quotes like “The journey is the reward.” I promptly forgot where I put it. When I finally found it—underneath a pile of vinyl records—I realized I’d written “PLAN LIFE” on January 1st and nothing else. “This is fine,” I told myself. “Free spirits can’t be confined by calendars.” The New Year’s Epiphany By the end of the first week, my resolutions had devolved into vague intentions, like “maybe eat less cheese” and “think about jogging.” But then, during one of my evening meditations (okay, fine, I was lying on the couch with a glass of wine and some Pink Floyd), it hit me. Why was I trying so hard to be someone I wasn’t? I’d spent decades perfecting the art of being an old hippie soul. Resolutions were just societal constructs, man. They were like clocks and taxes—arbitrary rules meant to box us in. “Screw it, Steve,” I said. “My resolution is to keep being me.” The Final Lesson So here’s the deal: I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t run a marathon, and my TikTok career is probably dead before it started. But I did reconnect with the things that make me happy—sunsets, vinyl records, and the occasional questionable kombucha experiment. And maybe that’s what resolutions are really about. Not changing who you are, but doubling down on the parts of you that are already groovy. Happy New Year, man. May your vibes be good and your resolutions be optional.     Explore the essence of "Meditative Whiskers of Light" in our Image Archive. This vibrant, whimsical artwork is available for prints, downloads, and licensing. Perfect for adding a touch of colorful serenity to your space or project. Dive into the magic today!

by Bill Tiepelman

Cradle of the Universe

In the beginning—though “beginning” might be an oversimplification—there was only stardust, cosmic dust swirling in some unknowable void. From this, the universe emerged, a chaotic, infinite playground of light and gravity, expansion and implosion. There was no rhyme or reason, just the endlessly swirling potential of everything that would come to be. And somewhere along the way, perhaps because the universe got bored or because it’s terribly fond of experiments, there were hands. Now, these weren’t your ordinary hands. They didn’t have fingerprints, nerves, or bones, nor were they attached to any particular body. They simply… were. Floating, glowing, cosmic in nature, made of stardust and galaxies, somehow warm despite their otherworldly texture. If you were to look closer, you might swear you could see nebulae swirling under the skin, like oil on water, shimmering with an impossible spectrum of colors. But as far as anyone could tell, they didn’t belong to anyone or anything. They were hands without a master, or perhaps they were the master, and the universe itself was just an idea held gently in their palms. For eons, they simply floated, marveling at their own existence in a way only hands can. If they could laugh, they would have, and if they could think, they would’ve pondered deeply on their purpose. But they were, after all, just hands. Purpose was irrelevant; they simply existed, cradling bits of stars and flickers of light, feeling the warmth of all creation flowing through them. And that was enough. Or it was, until the day they felt something new. It was a faint stirring, an almost imperceptible thrum from deep within—a signal, maybe, or a call. Something in the universe had… shifted. As the hands instinctively cupped together, they noticed the faint outline of a small, luminous bloom taking shape between their palms, an ethereal, delicate flower glowing with the light of stars. Its petals shimmered in shades of rose and violet, its center a gentle sunburst of gold. The hands sensed something, if hands could be said to sense things. The sensation wasn’t a thought, not exactly—it was more like an impulse, a tugging urge. They had been cradling the whole of the universe for as long as they’d been aware, but this felt… different. Personal. The flower unfolded, layer by intricate layer, each petal a burst of color and light, as if the flower held all the stories of all the stars in its tiny form. And for the first time, the hands felt an ache, an urge to protect something so fragile yet so boundless in its beauty. And so they held it closer, cupping it more carefully, feeling a quiet warmth radiate through their intangible palms. In a universe defined by chaos and uncertainty, here was something that felt precious, something that required care. As they marveled, the flower began to whisper. Not words—flowers don’t have mouths—but a deep, resonant knowing that somehow poured directly into the stardust of those celestial hands. The whisper was both infinitely old and startlingly new. It spoke of life and death, of birth and decay, of laughter and heartbreak. It spoke of moments—the way light feels when it first touches the skin after winter, or the peculiar joy of sharing a joke that doesn’t need to be funny as long as you’re laughing together. It whispered of paradoxes, too, the absurdity and magnificence of human lives, the moments when people laugh through their tears or fall in love against all reason. The hands couldn’t laugh, but if they could, they might’ve chuckled at the absurdity of it all. A flower that contained every secret of the universe, whispering about awkward first dates and the feeling of sand between toes, as if these tiny human moments somehow weighed equally with the birth of stars and the collapse of empires. But as the hands listened, they realized something even stranger: the flower didn’t care about being eternal. Its wisdom lay in understanding that everything—every laugh, every tear, every star, every silence—would one day fade. And it was okay with that. In fact, it celebrated it. The flower embraced the temporary, the bittersweet, the brief flashes of beauty that gave meaning to existence. In that instant, the hands understood, in their own silent, wordless way. The purpose of cradling the universe wasn’t to keep it safe from change, but to nurture its transformations, to let things bloom and wither, to witness both the joys and absurdities of existence. Maybe that was why they were here—to hold the universe not as a possession, but as a friend, someone you understand is only visiting for a while. And so, for the first time in however many eons they’d existed, the hands loosened their grip. They let the flower rest freely in their palms, content to watch it live and grow, and eventually, inevitably, fade. It was strange, comforting even, to know that in the end, everything that came to be would eventually return to the same cosmic dust from which it sprang. As the flower’s petals began to drift away like tiny stars, the hands found themselves strangely at peace. They knew the universe would carry on its chaotic dance, birthing new wonders, creating and destroying in endless cycles. They would watch, bearing witness, their only purpose to cradle, to care, and, occasionally, to let go. And maybe, just maybe, if they’d had the gift of laughter, they’d chuckle at the irony of it all. After all, they were hands—the simplest of forms—holding the most complex of things. But that’s life, isn’t it? Simple, absurd, and infinitely beautiful.    Bring "Cradle of the Universe" into Your Space If the story of "Cradle of the Universe" resonates with you, consider bringing this celestial beauty into your own life. From wall decor to cozy essentials, there are many ways to keep this image close, a reminder of the universe’s gentle mystery and our own fleeting moments of wonder. Explore these stunning product options to make it a part of your world: Tapestry: Transform any wall into a cosmic sanctuary with this captivating tapestry, perfect for meditation spaces or creative studios. Jigsaw Puzzle: Enjoy a mindful experience piecing together "Cradle of the Universe," a soothing and meditative activity. Framed Print: Elevate your home decor with a framed print of this timeless artwork, a daily reminder of beauty and perspective. Fleece Blanket: Wrap yourself in the warmth of the cosmos with a soft fleece blanket, perfect for stargazing nights or cozying up indoors. Each product allows you to carry a piece of the universe into your own life, a gentle reminder of its cosmic beauty and endless mysteries.