dragon

par Bill Tiepelman

The Rosewing Vanguard

The Fall and the Flame They called her Hessa the Silent, not because she didn’t speak—gods no, she swore like a sky-sailor drunk on phoenix blood—but because when she struck, there was no warning. No clink of armor. No battle cry. No dumb heroic monologue. Just a cold wind, a flick of silver hair, and then someone’s spleen went flying into a lake somewhere. The Vanguard weren’t meant to survive the Purge. The Empire made sure of it. One by one, the dragonriders were hunted down, their mounts burned alive mid-air, their bones fed to wolves, and their legacies erased from every map and bard's ballad. That was a decade ago. And yet, here she was—grizzled, scowling, riding a goddamn rose-colored dragon like a war goddess dipped in glitter and fire. They tried to break her. They bound her wrists in shadowsteel and dumped her body in the Screaming Trenches for the worms to clean. But Hessa doesn’t stay buried. Not when there’s vengeance to serve on a flaming platter. Not when she’s the last rider of Rosewing, the only living dragon born from dusk itself, whose wings turned skies pink and whose breath scorched lies out of men like confession candles. She found the beast again on the 10th night of the Blood Gale, half-starved and chained beneath the ruins of an old observatory. His eyes were dull. His wings clipped. His pride had been flayed from him like bark from a cursed tree. Hessa didn’t speak. She just held up the old saddle—torn, scorched, and still slick with the blood of her sisters—and whispered, “You up for another round?” Rosewing blinked. Then he roared. Now, they fly over the smoking wreck of Fort Cravane, painting the sky in streaks of rage and redemption. The soldiers on the ground barely know where to look—at the impossible dragon with flaming fuchsia wings, or the leather-clad hellcat astride him, sword in one hand, middle finger in the other. She wasn’t here for mercy. She was here to remind the Empire that some fires don’t go out. They just wait for a gale strong enough to spread the damn blaze. And Hessa? She was the gale, the match, and the whole bloody firestorm wrapped in a corset of spikes and broken promises. “Run,” she growled to the battalion commander as Rosewing hovered over the smoking keep. “Tell your emperor I’m bringing every scream back. With interest.” And then? She dropped. Like a meteor. Like judgment with boobs and a blade. And the world caught fire. Again. Ashes and Ascension The crater left by her landing would be visible from orbit, if the empire had gotten their magic spy mirrors working before she fed the engineers to the wolves. The impact wasn’t just physical—it was mythic. Fort Cravane wasn’t some wooden outpost run by bored teenagers. It was a stone beast, a juggernaut carved into the bones of the mountain itself. It had stood unbreached for a hundred years. Emperors were crowned there. War councils forged genocides there. Bastards were legitimized in its brothel-halls by drunk nobles and even drunker scribes. And now? It was rubble. Smoking, blood-soaked rubble with a single pink-scaled dragon coiled atop it like a crown forged in madness and sass. Hessa didn’t just burn the fort. She erased it. Every banner torn, every relic shattered, every smug face either melted or begging for death like it was a warm blanket. She didn’t even get off Rosewing’s back for the first half hour—just strafed the courtyard like a pissed-off comet, cackling and spitting insults while her dragon turned war machines into molten modern art. Then came the real fun. See, Hessa had a list. A long one. Names she carved into the inside of her left gauntlet with a bone stylus dipped in witchblood. Each one was a reason she hadn’t slit her own throat during those ten years in exile. Each one had laughed while her kin burned, each one had signed the warrant, cast the spell, sealed the fate. And each one, like delicious, screaming destiny, had been summoned to Cravane for a war meeting. The gods must have known. Or maybe they just had a sick sense of humor. Because Hessa was coming for every name, and she was coming with style. She dismounted in the courtyard—Rosewing spinning lazily in the air above her like a bored death angel—and stalked across the shattered marble, her boots crunching on bones and brass. Her armor wasn’t polished. It was jagged, blackened, and smeared with enough blood to make the floor slippery. Her left pauldron still had a jawbone stuck to it. She left it there. Statement piece. General Vaeldor was the first. Big man. Voice like thunder. Beard like a brick wall that grew its own testosterone. He raised his axe and gave the dumbest speech of his dumb life: “I do not fear a broken woman on a stolen beast.” “And I don’t fear a sausage with arms,” she replied, kicking him in the groin so hard his ancestors felt it. Then she stabbed him through the mouth while he was still vomiting up vowels. Two minutes later, she’d impaled three more officers on a flagpole and shoved their corpses into a ceremonial brazier to keep her sword warm. Flames danced, blood steamed. It smelled like justice and burnt chicken. Rosewing dropped from the sky to snatch an archer off a tower like a child grabbing a snack. Bones crunched. Screams followed. Then silence. Hessa liked the silence. It gave her time to monologue. Which she did, frequently, and with profanity that could etch glass. “I’m not here to win,” she shouted, addressing the survivors hiding behind what used to be a tower wall. “I’m here to balance the books. You arrogant little piss-stains thought you could kill the Vanguard and stuff the story in a vault? Nah. You made it juicy. You made it a revenge song. And now I’m here to play the chorus—LOUD.” Someone tried to cast a banishment rune. She threw a throwing knife through his eye mid-sentence and didn’t break stride. Another tried to run. Rosewing spat a burst of flame shaped like a screaming banshee and turned the deserter into ash-flavored dust. The sky darkened. Stormclouds rolled in like they were trying to get a better view. By sundown, the fort was gone. Literally. There was nothing left but a field of smoking debris, a few blood-slick stones, and a single saddle sitting upright on a hilltop. Rosewing perched behind her like a goddamn monument, wings half-unfurled, tail wrapped in a spiral that glowed faintly from the still-burning embers in his veins. Hessa stood before the last survivor—a boy, maybe fifteen, holding a broken pike and a face full of piss and tears. She crouched before him, eye to eye. “Go home,” she whispered. “Tell them what you saw. Tell them the Vanguard flies again. And if they ever dare raise another army…” She leaned in, smile razor-sharp. “Tell them pink will be the last color they ever see.” The boy ran. Good. She wanted fear to spread faster than fire. Later, as she and Rosewing flew east toward the mountain strongholds, the wind carving new stories into the air around them, Hessa leaned back in the saddle, breathing deep. Her muscles ached. Her armor reeked. Her soul thrummed like a lute string strung too tight. But it was done. The first name crossed off. Forty-two to go. “That’s right, sweetheart,” she muttered to the stars. “We’re just getting started.” The Screaming Skies They called it The Rift—the tear in the earth that bled skyfire and swallowed armies. Stretching fifty miles across the Wastes like the gods had clawed the planet in half during a drunken brawl, it was said to be impassable. Suicidal. A graveyard of heroes and the last hope of fools. Which, of course, made it perfect for Hessa. She didn’t slow. Didn’t plan. Just gritted her teeth and kicked Rosewing into a dive so steep her eyelashes caught fire. The dragon responded like he’d been waiting for this all his life—wings slicing air, jaws open in a grin made of flame and defiance. Below, the Rift cracked wider, as if the land itself was screaming “OH NO SHE DIDN’T.” Oh, but she did. She’d crossed the Wastes to end this. To burn the root, not the branches. Her goal? The floating citadel of High Thorne—home of the Arken Lords, final architects of the Purge, and smug bastards with magic glass floors and an unearned superiority complex. You couldn’t reach them by land. You couldn’t breach the shield walls. Unless, of course, you were riding a rose-scaled dragon made of ancient war magic and spite with wings strong enough to tear holes in reality. Rosewing pierced the cloud barrier like a needle dipped in vengeance. Thunder rolled behind them. Magic sigils cracked as they passed. Dozens of skyward ballistae fired, but she danced between the bolts like the wind owed her money. One caught her pauldron. She didn’t flinch. Just bit the shaft off with her teeth and spit it at the tower. Then came the Sky Guard—aerial knights on winged drakes, thirty strong, gleaming with enchantments and entitlement. They fanned out like birds of prey, blades glowing, spells primed. One shouted, “By order of the High Council—” “Eat my order,” Hessa barked, slamming Rosewing into a barrel roll that sent three of them tumbling into each other like enchanted bowling pins. She stood in the saddle, sword in one hand, firebomb in the other, screaming a war chant so raw it probably made three ancestors resurrect just to clutch their pearls. “Let’s fucking dance, sky boys!” They fought through the air like demons on holiday. Rosewing twisted, snapped, spun into dives so sudden the horizon screamed. Hessa disarmed a mage mid-incantation, then headbutted him so hard he exploded into feathers. She caught a flaming spear with her bare hand, screamed “THANKS!” and hurled it into the citadel gates like she was mailing back someone’s bad decisions. Drakes shrieked. Blood fell like crimson rain. Magic collided with dragonflame and lit the clouds on fire. You could see it from every village within a hundred miles—an inferno in the sky, with a silhouette of a woman standing atop a god, unkillable and pissed off. The gates of High Thorne cracked. Then split. Then detonated. Hessa stepped into the throne room like she owned the floor. Because now, she did. Ash coated her hair like a crown. Her armor was half-melted. One eyebrow was gone. Her sword hummed with the deaths of men who hadn’t shut up when they should’ve. At the far end sat the three Lords—robed in silks, gaudy with enchanted rings, surrounded by trembling bodyguards and illusions that flickered like bad lies. “We can negotiate,” one started, face twitching. “Negotiate these,” she said, and hurled a blade into his chest so hard it pinned him to the back wall. The others went for spells. Rosewing crashed through the stained-glass ceiling like a pink war deity from someone’s trauma nightmare and screamed fire into the room, melting every protection circle in a heartbeat. Hessa walked through the blaze like a bad memory given form, killing everything that moved and most things that didn’t. When she reached the second Lord, she whispered something so foul into his ear that his soul left his body before the knife did. The last one she saved for last—Lord Vaedric, High Chancellor of the Purge, too cowardly to even stand. “You remember my sister?” she asked, sliding onto the throne. “Red hair, big heart, tried to talk peace while you gut-punched her with shadowsteel?” He nodded. Cried. Snot. Begged. Hessa rolled her eyes. “You know what her final words were?” He shook his head. “They were ‘Tell that bastard I’ll see him in hell.’ So.” She leaned forward. “Get going.” One twist of her wrist. One gurgle. Done. And just like that, the Purge was over. Later, after the fires died and the dust settled, Hessa and Rosewing sat atop the highest spire, watching dawn break over a quieter world. She wasn’t a hero. Heroes get statues. She preferred nightmares. She preferred stories. “You think it sticks?” she asked her dragon. Rosewing growled something deep and thoughtful, then sneezed a puff of glittery embers into the air. She laughed. “Yeah. Me too.” And then they flew. Into legend. Into infamy. Into every campfire tale and drunk bard song from here to the dead coast. Because the Rosewing Vanguard wasn’t a dream. She was the end of one empire—and the birth of something so much louder. The sky still hasn't healed.     Epilogue: Embers Never Sleep In a tavern carved from the ribs of a long-dead titan, a bard plucks strings too old to remember their own tuning. The room hushes. Drinks still. A fire pops. “They say she vanished,” the bard begins, voice raspy with ash and rumors. “Rider and beast. One moment setting skies on fire, the next—gone. Like they’d burned so bright, the world couldn’t hold them anymore.” A drunk near the hearth snorts. “Bullshit. No one survives the Rift.” The bard just smiles. “Then explain the pink scales they found last month in a crater outside Blackwind. Still warm. Still humming.” At a distant table, a woman with platinum hair and a half-melted pauldron sips quietly from a chipped mug. She says nothing. Just watches the flames. Her dragon sleeps in the valley beyond, curled like a storm waiting to remember itself. She doesn’t need the songs. She doesn’t need the statues. She needs only this: wind, silence, and the promise of one last flight, should the world dare ask her again. Because embers? They don’t die. They wait.     Bring the Legend Home If the tale of The Rosewing Vanguard lit something fierce inside you—don’t let it fade. Capture the fire, the fury, and the flight with exclusive merchandise inspired by the story. Let our metal print turn your wall into a battleground of light and legend, or test your wits and your patience with this epic jigsaw puzzle forged from the heat of fantasy skies. Want to send some fire by mail? Our greeting cards carry the saga one envelope at a time, and stickers slap the legend onto any surface that dares. And when the cold creeps in? Wrap yourself in dragon-warmed dreams with a luxuriously soft fleece blanket that feels like Rosewing’s wings wrapped around your soul. Because some stories belong in your hands—not just your head.

par Bill Tiepelman

Sunlit Shenanigans

There are fae who tend gardens. There are fae who weave dreams. And then there’s Fennella Bramblebite—whose main contributions to the Seelie realm are chaotic giggling fits, midair moonings, and an alarming number of forest-wide “misunderstandings” that always, mysteriously, involve flaming fruit and nudity. Fennella, with her wild braid-forest of red hair and a nose as freckled as a speckled toadstool, was not your average sylvan enchantress. While most fae flitted about with dewdrop tiaras and flowery poetry, Fennella spent her mornings teaching mushrooms to curse and her afternoons impersonating royalty in stolen acorn hats. Which is exactly how she came to adopt a dragon. “Adopt” may be too generous a word. Technically, she’d accidentally lured him out of his egg with a sausage roll, mistaken him for a very aggressive garden lizard, and then named him Sizzlethump before he even had the chance to incinerate her left eyebrow. He was small—about the size of a corgi with wings—and always smelled faintly of smoke and cinnamon. His scales shimmered with flickers of ember and sunset, and his favorite pastimes included torching laundry lines and pretending to be a neck scarf. But today… today was special. Fennella had planned a picnic. Not just any picnic, mind you, but a nude sunbathing-and-honeycake extravaganza in the Grove of Slightly Disreputable Nymphs. She had even invited the squirrel militia—though they still hadn’t forgiven her for the “cursed nuts incident of spring.” “Now behave,” she hissed at Sizzlethump as she unrolled the enchanted gingham cloth that hissed when touched by ants. “No flaming the butter. No eating the spoons. And for the love of moonbeams, do not pretend the elderberry wine is bathwater again.” The dragon, in response, licked her ear, snorted a smoke ring in the shape of a rude gesture, and settled across her shoulder like a smug, fire-breathing mink. They were five bites into the honeycakes (and three questionable licks into something that might have been a toad pie) when Fennella felt it—a presence. Something looming. Watching. Judging. It was Ainsleif. “Oh gnatballs,” she muttered, eyes narrowing. Ainsleif of the Mosscloaks. The Most Uptight of the Forest Stewards. His hair was combed. His wings were folded correctly. He looked like the inside of a rulebook. And worst of all, he had paperwork. Rolled parchment. In triplicate. “Fennella Bramblebite,” he intoned, as if invoking an ancient curse. “You are hereby summoned to appear before the Council of Leaf and Spore on charges of spontaneous combustion, suspicious pastry distribution, and inappropriate use of glimmerweed in public spaces.” Fennella stood, arms akimbo, wearing only a necklace made of candy thorns and a questionable grin. Sizzlethump burped something that made a nearby fern catch fire. “Is that today?” she asked innocently. “Oopsie blossom.” And thus, with a flap of wings and the smell of smoldering scones, the fairy and her dragon friend were off to stand trial… for crimes they almost definitely committed, possibly while tipsy, and absolutely without regrets. Fennella arrived at the Council of Leaf and Spore the same way she did everything in life: fashionably late, dubiously clothed, and covered in confectioner’s sugar. The great mushroom hall—a sacred, ancient seat of forest governance—stood in utter silence as she crash-landed through the upper window, having been flung by a catapult built entirely from discarded spiderwebs, cattail reeds, and the shattered dreams of serious people. “NAILED IT!” she hollered, still upside down, legs tangled in a vine chandelier. “Do I get extra points for entrance flair or just the concussion?” The crowd of fae elders and woodland officials didn’t even blink. They’d seen worse. Once, a brownie attorney combusted just from sitting in the same seat Fennella now wiggled into. But today… today they were bracing themselves for a verbal hurricane with dragon side-effects. Sizzlethump waddled in behind her, dragging a suitcase that had burst open somewhere in flight, leaving a breadcrumb trail of burnt marshmallows, dragon socks, two left shoes, and something that might have been an enchanted fart in a jar (still bubbling ominously). High Elder Thistledown—a weepy-eyed creature shaped vaguely like a sentient celery stalk—sighed deeply, his leafy robes rustling with despair. “Fennella,” he said gravely, “this is your seventeenth appearance before the council in three moon cycles.” “Eighteen,” she corrected brightly. “You forgot the time I was sleep-haunting a bakery. That one hardly counts—I was unconscious and horny for strudel.” “Your crimes,” continued Thistledown, ignoring her, “include, but are not limited to: weaponizing bee song, unlicensed dream vending, impersonating a tree for sexual gain, and summoning a phantasmal raccoon in the shape of your ex-boyfriend.” “He started it,” she muttered. “Said my feet smelled like goblin tears.” Sizzlethump, now perched on the ceremonial scroll pedestal, belched a flame that turned the parchment to crisps, then sneezed on a nearby gavel, melting it into a very decorative puddle. “AND,” Thistledown said, voice rising, “allowing your dragon to exhale a message across the sky that said, quote: ‘LICK MY GLITTERS, COUNCIL NERDS.’” Fennella snorted. “That was supposed to say ‘LOVE AND LOLLIPOPS.’ He’s still learning calligraphy.”     Enter: The Prosecutor. To the surprise of everyone (and the dismay of some), the prosecutor was Gnimbel Fungusfist, a gnome so small he needed a soapbox to be seen above the podium—and so bitter he’d once banned music in a five-mile radius after hearing a harp he didn’t like. “The defendant,” Gnimbel rasped, eyes narrowed beneath tiny spectacles, “has repeatedly violated Article 27 of the Mischief Ordinance. She has no respect for magical regulation, personal space, or basic hygiene. I present as evidence... this underwear.” He held up a suspiciously scorched pair of bloomers with a daisy stitched on the butt. Fennella clapped. “My missing Tuesday pair! You glorious little fungus! I’ve missed you!” The courtroom gasped. One dryad fainted. An owl barrister choked on his gavel. But Fennella wasn’t done. “I move to countersue the entire council,” she declared, climbing on the table, “for crimes against fashion, joy, and possessing the tightest fairy holes known to civilization.” “You mean loopholes?” Thistledown asked, eyes wide with horror. “I do not,” she replied solemnly. At that moment, Sizzlethump unleashed a sneezing fit so powerful he scorched the banners, singed the warden’s beard, and accidentally set loose the captive whispers held in the Evidence Urn. Dozens of scandalous secrets began fluttering through the air like invisible bats, shrieking things like “Thistledown fakes his leaf shine!” and “Gnimbel uses toe extensions!” The courtroom dissolved into chaos. Fairies shrieked. Gremlins brawled. Someone summoned a squid. It was not clear why. And in the midst of it all, Fennella and her dragon grinned at each other like two pyromaniacs who’d just discovered a fresh box of matches. They bolted for the exit, laughter trailing behind them like smoke. But before leaving, Fennella turned, dramatically flinging a pouch of cinnamon glitter over her shoulder. “See you next equinox, nerdlings!” she cackled. “Don’t forget to moisturize your roots!” With that, the pair shot into the sky, Sizzlethump belching little heart-shaped fireballs while Fennella shrieked with delight and a lack of underpants. They didn’t know where they were going. But chaos, snacks, and probably another misdemeanor awaited. Three hours after being chased from the Council in a cloud of weaponized gossip and molted scroll ash, Fennella and Sizzlethump found themselves in a cave made entirely of jellybeans and regret. “This,” she said, peering around with hands on hips and nose twitching, “was not the portal I was aiming for.” The jellybean cave groaned ominously. From the ceiling dripped slow, thick droplets of butterscotch sap. A mushroom nearby whistled the theme to a soap opera. Something in the corner burped in iambic pentameter. “Ten out of ten. Would trespass again,” she whispered, and gave Sizzlethump a piece of peppermint bark she’d smuggled in her bra. They wandered for what felt like hours through the sticky surrealist sugar hellscape, dodging licorice spiders and sentient mints, before finally emerging into the moonstruck valley of Glimmerloch—a place so magical that unicorns came there to get high and forget their responsibilities. “You know,” Fennella murmured as she flopped onto a grassy knoll, Sizzlethump curling up beside her, “I think they’ll be after us for a while this time.” The dragon gave a tiny snort, eyes half-closed, and let out a rumble that vibrated the moss beneath them. It sounded like “worth it.”     The Council, however, was not so easily done. Three days later, Fennella’s hiding place was discovered—not by a battalion of armored pixies or an elite tracker warg, but by Bartholomew. Bartholomew was a faerie rat. And not a noble rat or a rat of legend. No, this was the type of rat who sold his mother for a half-stale biscuit and who wore a monocle made from a bent bottlecap. “Council wants ya,” he wheezed, waddling through a carpet of forget-me-nots like a walrus through whipped cream. “Big deal. They’re talkin’ banishment. Like, full-fling outta the Queendom.” Fennella blinked. “They wouldn’t. I’m a cornerstone of the cultural ecosystem. I once singlehandedly rebooted winter solstice fashion with edible earmuffs.” Bartholomew scratched himself with a twig and said, “Yeah, but yer dragon melted the Moon Buns’ fertility altar. You kinda toasted a sacred womb rock.” “Okay, in our defense,” she said slowly, “Sizzlethump thought it was a spicy egg.” Sizzlethump, overhearing, offered a hiccup of remorse that smelled strongly of roasted thyme and mild guilt. His wings drooped. Fennella ruffled his horn. “Don’t let them guilt you, nugget. You’re the best mistake I’ve ever kidnapped.” Bartholomew wheezed. “There’s a loophole. But it’s dumb. Really dumb.” Fennella lit up like a torchbug on espresso. “My favorite kind of plan. Hit me.” “You do the Trial of Shenanigan’s Bluff,” he muttered. “It’s... sort of a performance thing? Public trial by satire. If you can entertain the spirits of the Elder Mischief, they’ll pardon you. If you fail, they trap your soul in a punch bowl.” “Been there,” she said brightly. “I survived it and came out with a new eyebrow and a boyfriend.” “The punch bowl?” “No, the trial.”     And so it was set. The Trial of Shenanigan’s Bluff took place at midnight under a sky so full of stars it looked like a bejeweled bedsheet shaken by a drunk deity. The audience consisted of dryads, disgruntled town gnomes, one spectral hedgehog, three flamingos in drag, and the entire squirrel militia—still wearing tiny helmets and carrying grudge nuts. The Elders of Mischief appeared, rising from mists made of giggles and fermented tea. They were ancient prankster spirits, their bodies swirled from smoke and old rumors, their eyes glinting like jack-o’-lanterns full of dirty jokes. “We are here to judge,” they thundered in unison. “Amuse us, or perish in the bowl of eternal mediocrity.” Fennella stepped forward, wings flared, dress covered in potion-stained ribbons and gumdrop armor. “Oh beloved prankpappies,” she began, “you want a show? I’ll give you a bloody cabaret.” And she did. She reenacted the Great Glimmerpants Explosion of ’86 using only interpretive dance and marmots. She recited scandalous haikus about High Elder Thistledown’s love life. She got a nymph to fake faint, a squirrel to fake propose, and Sizzlethump to perform a fire-breathing tap dance on stilts while wearing tiny lederhosen. By the time it ended, the audience was weeping from laughter, the Elders were floating upside down from glee, and the punch bowl was full of wine instead of souls. “You,” the lead spirit gasped, trying not to laugh-snort, “are absolutely unfit for banishment.” “Thank you,” Fennella said, curtsying so deeply her skirt revealed a birthmark shaped like a rude fairy. “Instead,” the spirit continued, “we appoint you as our new Emissary of Wild Mischief. You will spread absurdity, ignite joy, and keep the Realm weird.” Fennella gasped. “You want me... to make everything worse... professionally?” “Yes.” “AND I GET TO KEEP THE DRAGON?” “Yes!” She screamed. Sizzlethump belched glitter flames. The squirrel militia passed out from overstimulation.     Epilogue Fennella Bramblebite is now a semi-official agent of gleeful chaos. Her crimes are now considered “cultural enrichment.” Her dragon has his own fan club. And her name is whispered in reverent awe by pranksters, tricksters, and midnight troublemakers in every corner of the Fae Queendom. Sometimes, when the moon is right and the air smells faintly of burnt toast and sarcasm, you can see her fly by—hair streaming behind her, dragon clinging to her shoulder, both of them laughing like fools who know that mischief is sacred and friendship is the weirdest kind of magic.     Want to bring a little wild mischief into your world? You can own a piece of “Sunlit Shenanigans” and keep the chaos close at hand—or at least on your wall, your tote, or even your cozy nap blanket. Whether you’re a fae of impeccable taste or a dragon hoarder of fine things, this whimsical artwork is now available in a variety of forms: Wood Print – Rustic charm for your mischief sanctuary Framed Print – For those who prefer their chaos elegantly contained Tote Bag – Carry your dragon snacks and questionable potions in style Fleece Blanket – For warm snuggles after a long day of magical misdemeanors Spiral Notebook – Jot down your best pranks and potion recipes Click, claim, and channel your inner Bramblebite—no Council approval required.

par Bill Tiepelman

How to Tame Your Dragon’s Dental Hygiene

The Gums of War In the majestic realm of Gingivaria—a place tragically overlooked by most fantasy cartographers—dragons weren’t known for their hoards or fiery wrath. No, they were known for their halitosis. The kind that could melt faces faster than their actual flame breath. The kind that left a streak of singed eyebrows in its wake. The kind that made even trolls retch and cry, “Dear gods, is that anchovy?” Enter Fizzwhistle Junebug, a winged dental hygienist with a vengeance. She was petite, sparkly, and meaner than a tax audit. Her wings shimmered in irritated gold whenever someone said, “Fairy dust solves everything.” Her toothbrush? An industrial-grade wand forged in the Molars of Mount Munch. Her mission? To tame the worst dental case in all seven realms: Greg. Greg the dragon had many titles: Scourge of Skincare, Flamey the Flatulent, Baron of the Bicuspid Apocalypse. But most knew him simply as The Breath of Doom. Villagers no longer brought sacrifices—they brought mints. Bards refused to sing of his deeds until they invented rhymes for “decay” and “oral swamp.” Greg didn’t mind. He was perfectly content gnawing on boulders and basking in the solitude of people running in the opposite direction. Until Fizzwhistle flew into his cave one dewy Tuesday morning with a clipboard and a peppermint aura. “Gregory?” she chirped, somehow sounding both chipper and ready to commit murder. “I’m with the Enchanted Oral Order. You’ve been reported… seven hundred and sixty-two times for olfactory assault. It’s time.” Greg blinked. One eye. Then the other. He was halfway through a mouthful of charcoal briquettes. “Time for what?” he rumbled, a cloud of greenish horror seeping from his mouth like a fog of forgotten sins. Fizzwhistle donned aviator goggles, clicked a button on her wand, and extended it into a dual-action, enchanted toothbrush-flossing lance. “Time,” she said, “for your first cleaning.” The scream that followed echoed through five valleys, startled a herd of centaurs into a synchronized can-can, and permanently curled the leaves of the Whimpering Woods. The Plaqueening Greg did not come quietly. He howled. He thrashed. He gnawed the air like a feral toddler teething on thunder. And yet, despite all this prehistoric drama, Fizzwhistle Junebug hovered with the dead-eyed calm of someone who’s flossed the teeth of mountain trolls while they snored. She waited, mid-air, wings buzzing faintly, wand-brush at the ready, sipping from a travel-sized espresso chalice that read: “Don’t Make Me Use The Mint.” “Done?” she asked after the third cave stalactite crumbled from Greg’s banshee roar. “No.” Greg grunted, curling his massive tail protectively around his snout. “You can’t make me. I have rights. I’m a majestic, ancient being. I’m on several tapestries.” “You’re also a public health crisis,” she replied. “Open wide, Sir Fumebreath.” “Why does it smell like burning cucumbers when I burp?” “That’s your tonsils waving a white flag.” Greg sighed, smoke curling out of his nostrils. Somewhere in the back of his prehistoric brain, the tiniest speck of shame flickered. Not that he’d ever admit it. Dragons don’t do shame. They do rage, naps, and existential ennui. But as Fizzwhistle cracked her knuckles and activated the sonic floss attachment, Greg realized that maybe—just maybe—he was not okay. “Okay, ground rules,” he growled. “No touching the uvula. That thing’s sensitive.” Fizzwhistle rolled her eyes. “Please. I’ve flossed krakens. Your uvula’s a powder puff.” And so it began. The Great Cleaning. First came the rinse: a cauldron of enchanted water infused with mint, moonlight, and a hint of cinnamon broom. Greg sputtered and foamed like a broken cappuccino machine. He belched a bubble that floated away, popped midair, and turned a squirrel into a barista. Then came the scaling. Fizzwhistle zipped between his teeth, lance vibrating, scraping decades of fossilized meat goo from his molars. Out came a knight’s helmet, two ox bones, a whole wheel of ghost cheese (still screaming), and what appeared to be the skeletal remains of a bard holding a tiny lute. Greg blinked. “So that’s where Harold went.” Fizzwhistle didn’t stop. She whirred. She buffed. She flossed with the fury of someone who had been left on read one too many times. And all the while, Greg sat there, his tongue dangling out like a defeated dog’s, whimpering. “Do you enjoy this?” he mumbled, half-choking on a minty glob of magical foam. “Immensely,” she grinned, wiping sweat from her brow with a disinfected lavender towel. Midway through quadrant three (left bicuspid zone), Greg coughed up a toothpick the size of a javelin and murmured, “This feels… oddly intimate.” Fizzwhistle paused. Hovered. Cocked her head sideways. “You ever had anyone care enough to scrape out your tartar, Greg?” “…no.” “Well, congrats. This is either love or professional stubbornness. Possibly both.” He blinked slowly. “Do you do tail scales too?” “That’s extra,” she deadpanned. Time slipped sideways. Light filtered in from the edge of the cave mouth in a hazy, post-cleanse glow. Greg’s teeth sparkled like cursed sapphires. His gums—formerly a toxic swamp of regret and regret sandwiches—now shone with the healthy blush of a creature who had finally seen a toothbrush. Fizzwhistle dropped into a seated hover, wand cooling in its holster. “Well. That’s done.” “I feel… light,” Greg said, opening his mouth and exhaling. A flock of nearby birds did not fall dead from the sky. Flowers did not immediately wither. A nearby tree actually perked up. “I feel like I could go to a brunch.” “Don’t push it,” she muttered. Greg sat in stunned silence, sniffing at his own breath like a dog discovering peanut butter. “I’m minty.” “You’re welcome.” Fizzwhistle tucked her gear back into her satchel, now clinking with extracted plaque crystals and some extra treasure she “accidentally” picked up from the hoard. Greg didn’t notice. He was too busy smiling—an act that, for the first time, did not cause a thunderclap or spontaneous nosebleeds in nearby villagers. “Hey, Fizz?” he said, his voice awkward and rumbly. “Would you maybe… come back? Like next week? Just to, you know, check the molars?” Fizzwhistle smirked. “We’ll see. Depends if you floss.” Greg's face fell. “What’s floss?” A Mint Condition Relationship The following week, Greg flossed using a pine tree and a suspiciously bendy wizard. It wasn’t effective, but the effort was there. Fizzwhistle returned, reluctantly impressed. She arrived with a toolbox of enchanted dental gear and the wary eyes of a woman who wasn’t sure whether this was a follow-up cleaning or an accidental date. “I even rinsed,” Greg offered proudly, mistaking a bucket of rainwater for mouthwash. He’d added crushed snowberries for flavor. He gagged. But he did it. Fizzwhistle raised an eyebrow. “You used the berries that scream when picked?” “It seemed festive.” “They’re also mildly hallucinogenic. Don’t eat your own tail for the next hour.” Despite the chaos, something had shifted. Greg didn’t flinch when she hovered near his canines. He even smiled—without weaponizing it. Birds didn’t scatter. Trees didn’t ignite. The world stayed mostly intact, which in Greg’s case was emotional growth. After his third appointment (he was now on a plan), Greg did something unthinkable. He made tea. He boiled water with his breath, steeped herbs from the Whispering Glade, and served it in a tea set he accidentally stole from a gnome wedding two centuries ago. Fizzwhistle, suspicious but curious, accepted. She even sipped. It wasn’t terrible. “I’ve never hosted tea before,” Greg admitted, fidgeting with his tail. “Usually I just incinerate guests.” “This is slightly more charming,” she said. “Also less murdery.” They sipped. They chatted. Topics ranged from dental horror stories to Greg’s brief but dramatic stint as a backup dancer in the Goblin Opera. She laughed. He blushed. Somewhere, a unicorn sneezed glitter and nobody knew why. The visits became routine. Weekly cleanings turned into bi-weekly brunches. Greg started brushing daily with a house-sized bristle brush mounted to a siege tower. Fizzwhistle installed a flossing polearm near the stalactites. She even left behind a magically singing toothbrush named Cheryl who kept yelling, “SCRUB THOSE MOLARS, YOU FILTHY KING!” every morning at sunrise. It was oddly romantic. Not in a “let’s hold hands under moonlight” kind of way, but in the “I scrape barnacles off your gums because I respect you” kind of way. Which, in Gingivaria, was basically a proposal. One day, as they flew together over the Sparkling Ridge (Fizzwhistle clinging to Greg’s neck spike with a picnic basket strapped to her back), he asked, “Do you think it’s weird?” “What? The fact that I clean your teeth with a glowing spear and also bring you croissants?” “That… and maybe the feelings part.” Fizzwhistle looked ahead, past the shimmering clouds and the distant spires of Gingivaria’s Capital of Canker, and said, “Greg, I’ve cleaned between your molars. There is no going back from that level of emotional intimacy.” Greg rumbled a soft laugh that only incinerated a small shrub. Progress. They landed on a cliff edge, laid out their brunch, and watched a pair of thunderbirds dance across the horizon. Greg delicately munched on a charcoal scone (recipe courtesy of Cheryl the toothbrush). Fizzwhistle nibbled a cloudberry tart and sipped a flask of wine that sang Gregorian chants in the key of gingivitis. “So…” Greg said, tail twitching nervously. “I was thinking of adding a second toothbrush tower. For guests. You know. If you ever wanted to… stay?” Fizzwhistle choked slightly on her tart. “Are you asking me to move in?” “Well. Only if you want to. And maybe if we survive your mom’s reaction. And if Cheryl doesn’t object. She’s gotten… territorial.” Fizzwhistle stared at him. This ancient, terrifying, plaque-producing beast with a now-brilliant smile and a secret weakness for honey tea. She wiped tart crumbs from her lip, adjusted her wing cuff, and said: “I’d be delighted, Greg. On one condition.” “Anything.” “You floss. With actual floss. Not wizards.” Greg grumbled but nodded. “Deal. Can we still use gnomes as mouthwash?” “Only if they volunteer.” And so they lived—mintily, sassily, and ever after—in a dragon’s lair turned open-plan dental spa. Word spread. Creatures from all corners of the land flocked to Gingivaria not to battle a beast, but to book an appointment. Fizzwhistle opened a boutique. Greg became the poster child for reformed dragon breath. Their love was weird. Their brunches legendary. Their plaque? Nonexistent. Because in the end, even the most fearsome monsters deserve someone who cares enough to clean their teeth, love their bad habits, and gently whisper, “You missed a spot, babe.”     Want to bring a little mythical mischief into your home? This magical moment between Greg and Fizzwhistle is available as a print, puzzle, tumbler, and more. Explore "How to Tame Your Dragon’s Dental Hygiene" in glorious detail through high-quality merchandise and fine art prints at Unfocussed Archive. Add a touch of enchanted chaos to your walls—or your morning coffee routine.

par Bill Tiepelman

Sassy Shroom Shenanigans

Tongue Wars and the Forest Code of Sass In the deepest thicket of the Glibbergrove, where mushrooms grew big enough to get parking tickets and squirrels wore monocles unironically, there perched a gnome with absolutely no chill. His name? Grimbold Butterbuttons. His vibe? Absolute chaos in wool socks. Grimbold wasn't your average gnome. While the others busied themselves polishing snail shells or whittling toothbrushes from elder twigs, Grimbold had an entire *reputation* for being the forest’s number one instigator. He made faces at butterflies. He photobombed the Council of Owls. Once, he’d even replaced the Queen Badger’s royal tea with flat root beer just to watch her snort. So naturally, it made perfect sense that Grimbold had a pet dragon. A tiny pet dragon. One that barely came up to his belt buckle but acted like she ruled the canopy. Her name was Zilch, short for Zilcharia Flameyfangs the Third, but no one called her that unless they wanted to get singed eyebrows. That morning, the two of them were doing what they did best—being complete little shits. "Bet you can't hold that face for longer than me," Grimbold snorted, sticking out his tongue like a drunken goose and widening his eyes so far they looked like boiled turnips. Zilch, wings flaring, narrowed her gold-slitted eyes. "I INVENTED this face," she rasped, then mimicked him with such perfect deranged accuracy that even the birds stopped mid-tweet. The two locked in a battle of absurdity atop a giant red-capped mushroom—their usual morning perch-slash-stage. Tongues out. Eyes bugged. Nostrils flaring like melodramatic llamas. It was a face-off of epic immaturity, and they were both thriving. "You’re creasing your eyebrows wrong!" Zilch barked. "You’re blinking too much, cheater!" Grimbold fired back. A fat beetle waddled by with a judgmental glance, muttering, "Honestly, I preferred the mime duel last week." But they didn’t care. These two lived for this kind of nonsense. Where others saw an ancient, mysterious forest full of magic and mystery, they saw a playground. A sass-ground, if you will. And so began their day of shenanigans, with their sacred forest motto etched in mushroom spores and glitter glue: “Mock first. Ask questions never.” Only they didn’t realize that today’s game of tongue wars would unlock an accidental spell, open an interdimensional portal, and quite possibly awaken a mushroom warlord who’d once been banned for excessive pettiness. But hey—that’s a problem for later. The Portal of Pfft and the Rise of Lord Sporesnort Grimbold Butterbuttons’ tongue was still proudly extended when it happened. A *wet* sound split the air, somewhere between a cosmic zipper and a squirrel flatulating through a didgeridoo. Zilch’s pupils dilated to the size of acorns. “Grim,” she croaked, “did you just... open a thing?” The gnome didn’t answer. Mostly because his face was frozen mid-snarl, one eye twitching and tongue still glued to his chin like a sweaty stamp. Behind them, the mushroom shivered. Not metaphorically. Like, the actual mushroom. It quivered with a noise that sounded like giggling algae. And from its spore-speckled surface, a jagged tear opened in the air, like reality had been cut with blunt safety scissors. From within, a purple light pulsed like an angry disco ball. "...Oh," said Grimbold finally, blinking. "Oopsie-tootsie." Zilch smacked her forehead with a tiny claw. "You broke space again! That’s the third time this week! Do you even read the warnings in the moss tomes?" "No one reads the moss tomes," Grimbold said, shrugging. "They smell like foot soup." With a moist belch of spores and questionable glitter, something began to emerge from the portal. First came a cloud of lavender steam, then a large floppy hat. Then—very slowly—a pair of glowing green eyes, slitted like a grumpy cat that hadn’t had its brunch pâté. “I AM THE MIGHTY LORD SPORESNORT,” boomed a voice that somehow smelled like truffle oil and unwashed gym socks. “HE WHO WAS BANISHED FOR EXCESSIVE PETTINESS. HE WHO ONCE CURSED AN ENTIRE KINGDOM WITH ITCHY NIPPLES OVER A GRAMMAR MISTAKE.” Zilch gave Grimbold the longest side-eye in the history of side-eyes. "Did you just summon the ancient fungal sass-demon of legend?" "To be fair," Grimbold muttered, "I was aiming for a fart with echo." Out stepped Lord Sporesnort in full regalia—moss robes, mycelium boots, and a walking staff shaped like a passive-aggressive spatula. His beard was made entirely of mold. And not the cool, forest-sorcerer kind. The fuzzy fridge kind. He radiated judgment and lingering disappointment. "BEHOLD MY REVENGE!" Sporesnort roared. "I SHALL COVER THIS FOREST IN SPORE-MODED MISCHIEF. ALL SHALL BE IRRITATED BY THE SLIGHTEST INCONVENIENCES!" With a dramatic swirl, he cast his first spell: “Itchicus Everlasting!” Suddenly, a thousand woodland creatures began scratching themselves uncontrollably. Squirrels tumbled from branches in mid-itch. A badger ran by shrieking about chafing. Even the bees looked uncomfortable. "Okay, no. This won’t do," said Zilch, cracking her knuckles with tiny thunderclaps. "This is our forest. We annoy the locals. You don’t get to roll in with your ancient mushroom face and out-sass us." "Hear hear!" shouted Grimbold, standing proudly with one foot on a suspicious mushroom that squelched like an angry pudding. "We may be chaotic, bratty, and tragically underqualified for any real leadership, but this is our turf, you decomposing jockstrap." Lord Sporesnort laughed—an echoing wheeze that smelled of old salad. “Very well, tiny fools. Then I challenge you... to the TRIAL OF THE TRIPLE-TIERED TONGUE!” A hush fell across the glade. Somewhere, a duck dropped its sandwich. "Uh, is that a real thing?" Zilch whispered. "It is now," Sporesnort grinned, raising three slimy mushroom caps into the air. "You must perform the ultimate display of synchronized facial sass—a three-round tongue duel. Lose, and I take over Glibbergrove. Win, and I shall return to the Sporeshade Realms to wallow in my own tragic flamboyance." "You're on," said Grimbold, his face twitching with a growing smirk. "But if we win, you also have to admit that your cloak makes your butt look wide." "I—FINE," Sporesnort spat, turning slightly to cover his rear fungus flare. And thus the stage was set. Creatures gathered. Leaves rustled with gossip. A beetle vendor set up a stand selling roasted aphids on sticks and “I ♥ Sporesnort” foam fingers. Even the wind paused to see what the hell was about to happen. Grimbold and Zilch, side by side on their mushroom stage, cracked their necks, stretched their cheeks, and waggled their tongues. A hush fell. Sporesnort’s fungal beard trembled in anticipation. "Let the tongue games begin!" shouted a squirrel with a referee whistle. The Final Tongue-Off and the Scandal of the Sassy Underwear The crowd leaned in. A snail fell off its mushroom seat in suspense. Somewhere in the distance, a fungus chime rang out one somber, reverberating note. The *Trial of the Triple-Tiered Tongue* had officially begun. Round One was a classic: The Eyeball Stretch & Tongue Combo. Lord Sporesnort made the first move, his eyes bugging out like a pair of grapefruit on springs as he whipped out his tongue with such velocity it created a mild sonic pop. The crowd gasped. A field mouse fainted. “BEHOLD!” he roared, his voice echoing through the mushroom caps. “THIS IS THE ANCIENT FORM KNOWN AS ‘GORGON’S SURPRISE’!” Zilch narrowed her eyes. “That’s just ‘Monday Morning Face’ in dragon preschool.” She casually blew a tiny flame to toast a passing marshmallow on a stick, then locked eyes with Grimbold. They nodded. The duo launched into their countermove: synchronized bug-eyes, nostril flares, and tongues waggling side to side like possessed metronomes. It was elegant. It was chaotic. A raccoon dropped its pipe and screamed, “SWEET GRUBS, I’VE SEEN THE TRUTH!” “ROUND ONE: TIED,” announced the squirrel referee, his whistle now glowing from sheer stress.     Round Two: The Sass Spiral For this, the goal was to layer expressions with insult-level flair. Bonus points for eyebrow choreography. Lord Sporesnort twisted his fungal lips into a smug, upturned frown and performed what could only be described as a sassy interpretive dance using only his eyebrows. He finished by flipping his cloak, revealing fungus-embroidered briefs with the words “BITTER BUT CUTE” stitched across the rear in glowing mycelium thread. The crowd lost their collective minds. The beetle vendor passed out. A hedgehog screamed and launched into a bush. “I call that,” Sporesnort said smugly, “the Sporeshake 9000.” Grimbold stepped forward slowly. Too slowly. Suspense dripped off him like condensation off a cold goblet of forest grog. Then he struck. He wiggled his ears. He furrowed one brow. His tongue spiraled into a perfect helix, and he puffed out his cheeks until he looked like an emotionally unstable turnip. Then, with a slow, dramatic flourish, he turned around and revealed a patch sewn into the seat of his corduroy trousers. It read, in shimmering gold thread: “YOU JUST GOT GNOMED.” The forest exploded. Not literally, but close enough. Owls fainted. Mushrooms combusted from joy. A badger couple started a slow chant. “Gnome’d! Gnome’d! Gnome’d!” Zilch, not to be outdone, reared back and made the universal hand-and-claw gesture for *“Your fungus ain’t funky, babe.”* Her tail flicked with weaponized sass. The moment was perfect. "ROUND TWO: ADVANTAGE — GNOME & DRAGON!" the referee squeaked, tears running down his cheeks as he blew the whistle like it was possessed.     Final Round: Wildcard Mayhem Sporesnort snarled, spores puffing from his ears. “Fine. No more cute. No more coy. I invoke... the SACRED MUSHUNDERWEAR TECHNIQUE!” He ripped open his robes to reveal undergarments enchanted with wriggling fungal runes and vines that wove his sass into the very fabric of the universe. “This,” he bellowed, “is FUNGIFLEX™ — powered by enchanted stretch and interdimensional attitude.” The forest fell into a hush of pure, horrified admiration. Grimbold simply looked at Zilch and smirked. “We break reality now?” “Break it so hard it apologizes,” she growled. The gnome clambered atop the dragon’s back. Zilch flared her wings, eyes burning gold. Together they launched into the air with a mighty WHEEEEEEE and a burst of glitter confetti summoned from a leftover prank spell. As they twirled through the sky, they performed their final move: a dual loop-de-loop followed by simultaneous tongue-wagging, face-contorting, and butt-shaking. From Grimbold’s trousers, a secret pocket opened, revealing a banner that read, in flashing enchanted letters: “GNOME SWEAT DON’T QUIT.” They landed with a thump, Zilch belching sparkles. The crowd was in chaos. Tears. Screaming. An impromptu interpretive dance broke out. The forest was on the brink of a vibe collapse. “FINE!” Sporesnort yelled, voice cracking. “YOU WIN! I’LL GO! BUT YOU... YOU SHALL RUE THIS DAY. I’LL BE BACK. WITH MORE UNDERWEAR.” He swirled into his own portal of shame and unresolved mushroom trauma, leaving behind only the faint scent of garlic and regret. Zilch and Grimbold collapsed atop their favorite mushroom. The glade shimmered under the setting sun. Birds chirped again. The badger couple kissed. Someone started roasting victory marshmallows. "Well," said Grimbold, licking his thumb and smearing moss off his cheek. "That was... probably the third weirdest Tuesday we’ve had." "Easily," Zilch agreed, biting into a celebratory beetle snack. "Next time we prank a warlord, can we avoid the fungal lingerie?" "No promises." And so, with tongues dry and reputations elevated to mythical status, the gnome and the dragon resumed their sacred morning ritual: laughing at absolutely everything and being gloriously, unapologetically weird together. The end. Probably.     Want to bring the sass home? Whether you're a certified mischief-maker or just deeply appreciate the sacred art of tongue-based warfare, you can now take a piece of Grimbold and Zilch’s legendary moment into your own lair. Frame the chaos with a gallery-quality print, wrap yourself in their ridiculousness with this fleece blanket, or go full forest-chic with a wood print that'll make even Lord Sporesnort jealous. Send cheeky greetings with a whimsical card, or slap some mushroom-powered attitude onto your stuff with this top-tier Sassy Shroom Shenanigans sticker. Because let’s be honest—your life could use more dragons and fewer boring walls.

par Bill Tiepelman

My Dragon Bestie

How to Accidentally Befriend a Fire Hazard Everyone knows toddlers have a knack for chaos. Sticky fingers, permanent marker tattoos on the dog, mysterious stains that science has yet to classify — it’s all part of their magic. But no one warned Ellie and Mark that their son Max, age two and a half and already proficient in diplomacy by fruit snack barter, would bring home a dragon. “It’s probably a lizard,” Mark had muttered when Max toddled in from the backyard cradling something green and suspiciously scaly. “A big, weird-eyed lizard. Like, emotionally unstable gecko weird.” But lizards, as a rule, do not belch smoke rings the size of frisbees when they burp. Nor do they respond to the name “Snuggleflame,” which Max insisted upon with the determined fury of a child who’s missed his nap. And certainly no lizard has ever attempted to toast a grilled cheese with its nostrils. The dragon — because that’s what it undeniably was — stood about knee-high with chunky feet, chubby cheeks, and the sort of wings that looked decorative until they weren’t. Its expression was equal parts devilish and delighted, like it knew a thousand secrets and none of them involved nap time. Max and Snuggleflame became inseparable within hours. They shared snacks (Max’s), secrets (mostly babbled gibberish), and bath time (a questionable decision). At night, the dragon curled around Max’s toddler bed like a living plush toy, radiating warmth and purring like a chainsaw on Xanax. Of course, Ellie and Mark tried to be rational about it. “It’s probably a metaphor,” Ellie suggested, sipping wine and watching their child cuddle a creature capable of combustion. “Like an emotional support hallucination. Freud would have loved this.” “Freud didn’t live in a ranch house with flammable drapes,” Mark replied, ducking as Snuggleflame sneezed a puff of glittery soot toward the ceiling fan. They called Animal Control. Animal Control politely suggested Animal Exorcism. They called the pediatrician. The pediatrician offered a therapist. The therapist asked if the dragon was billing under Max’s name or as a dependent. So they gave up. Because the dragon wasn’t going anywhere. And to be honest, after Snuggleflame roasted the neighbor’s leaf pile into the most efficient compost bin the HOA had ever seen, things got easier. Even the dog had stopped hiding in the washing machine. Mostly. But then, just as life started to feel bizarrely normal — Max drawing crayon murals of "Dragonopolis", Ellie fireproofing the furniture, Mark learning to say “Don't flame that” like it was a regular household rule — something changed. Snuggleflame’s eyes got wider. His wings got stretchier. And one morning, with a sound somewhere between a kazoo and a wind tunnel, he looked at Max, belched out a compass, and said — in perfect toddler-accented English — “We has to go home now.” Max blinked. “You mean my room?” The dragon grinned, fanged and wild. “Nope. Dragonland.” Ellie dropped her coffee mug. Mark cursed so hard the baby monitor censored him. Max? He simply smiled, eyes shining with the unshakable faith of a child whose best friend just turned into a mythical Uber. And that, dear reader, is how a suburban family accidentally agreed to a magical relocation clause… led by a dragon and a preschooler in Velcro shoes. To be continued in Part Two: “The TSA Does Not Approve of Dragons” The TSA Does Not Approve of Dragons Ellie hadn’t flown since Max was born. She remembered airports as stressful, overpriced food courts with occasional opportunities to be strip-searched by someone named Doug. But nothing — and I mean nothing — prepares you for trying to check a fire-breathing emotional support lizard through security. “Is that… an animal?” the TSA agent asked, in the same tone one might use for discovering a ferret operating a forklift. Her badge read “Karen B.” and her emotional aura screamed “no nonsense, no dragons, not today.” “He’s more of a plus-one,” Ellie said. “He breathes fire, but he doesn’t vape, if that helps.” Snuggleflame, for his part, was wearing Max’s old hoodie and a pair of aviator sunglasses. It did not help. He also carried a satchel with snacks, three crayons, a plastic tiara, and a glowing orb that had started whispering in Latin sometime around the baggage check. “He’s house-trained,” Max chimed in, proudly. “He only toasts things on purpose now.” Mark, who had been silently calculating how many times they could be banned from federal airspace before it counted as a felony, handed over the dragon’s ‘passport.’ It was a laminated construction paper booklet titled OFFISHUL DRAGON ID with a crayon drawing of Snuggleflame smiling next to a stick figure family and the helpful note: I AINT MEAN. Somehow, whether by charm, chaos, or sheer clerical burnout, they got through. There were compromises. Snuggleflame had to ride in cargo. The orb was confiscated by a guy who swore it tried to "reveal his destiny." Max cried for ten minutes until Snuggleflame sent smoke signals through the air vents spelling “I OK.” They landed in Iceland. “Why Iceland?” Mark asked for the fifth time, rubbing his temples with the slow desperation of a man whose toddler had commandeered an ancient being and a boarding gate. “Because it’s the place where the veil between worlds is thinnest,” Ellie replied, reading from a brochure she found in the airport titled Dragons, Gnomes, and You: A Practical Guide to Fae-Proofing Your Backyard. “Also,” Max piped up, “Snuggleflame said the portal smells like marshmallows here.” That, apparently, was that. They checked into a small hostel in a village so picturesque it made Hallmark movies feel insecure. The townspeople were polite in the way that implied they’d seen weirder. No one even blinked when Snuggleflame roasted a whole salmon with a hiccup or when Max used a stick to draw magical glyphs in the frost. The dragon led them into the wilderness at dawn. The terrain was a rugged postcard of mossy hills, icy streams, and a sky that looked like a Nordic mood ring. They hiked for hours — Max carried by turns on Mark’s shoulders or floating slightly above ground courtesy of Snuggleflame’s "hover hugs." Finally, they reached it: a clearing with a stone arch carved with symbols that pulsed faintly. A ring of mushrooms marked the threshold. The air buzzed with a scent that was part cinnamon toast, part ozone, and part “you’re about to make a decision that rewires your life forever.” Snuggleflame turned solemn. “Once we go through… you might never come back. Not the same way. You sure, little buddy?” Max, without hesitation, said, “Only if Mommy and Daddy come too.” Ellie and Mark looked at each other. She shrugged. “You know what? Normal was overrated.” “My office just assigned me to a committee about optimizing spreadsheet color-coding. Let’s roll,” Mark said. With a deep, echoing whoosh, Snuggleflame reared up and breathed a ribbon of blue fire into the arch. The stones glowed. The mushrooms danced. The veil between worlds sighed like an overworked barista and opened. The family stepped through together, hand in claw in hand. They landed in Dragonland. Not a metaphor. Not a theme park. A place where the skies shimmered like soap bubbles on steroids and the trees had opinions. Everything sparkled — aggressively so. It was like Lisa Frank had binge-watched Game of Thrones while microdosing peyote and then built a kingdom. The inhabitants greeted Max as though he were royalty. Turns out, he kind of was. Through a series of absolutely legitimate dream-based contracts, prophecy pancakes, and interpretive dance rituals, Max had been appointed "The Snuggle-Chosen." A hero foretold to bring emotional maturity and sticker-based communication to an otherwise flame-obsessed society. Snuggleflame became a full-sized dragon within days. He was magnificent — sleek, winged, capable of lifting minivans, and still perfectly willing to let Max ride on his back wearing nothing but dinosaur pajamas and a bike helmet. Ellie opened a fireproof preschool. Mark started a podcast called "Corporate Survival for the Newly Magical." They built a cottage next to a talking creek that offered life advice in the form of passive-aggressive haikus. Things were weird. They were also perfect. And no one — not a single soul — ever said, “You’re being childish,” because in Dragonland, the childish ran the place. To be continued in Part Three: “Civic Responsibility and the Ethical Use of Dragon Farts” Civic Responsibility and the Ethical Use of Dragon Farts Life in Dragonland was never boring. In fact, it was never even quiet. Between Snuggleflame’s daily aerial dance routines (featuring synchronized spark sneezes) and the enchanted jellybean geyser behind the house, “peaceful” was something they left behind at the airport. Still, the family had settled into something resembling a routine. Max, now the de facto ambassador of Human-Toddler Relations, spent his mornings finger-painting treaties and leading compassion exercises for the dragon hatchlings. His leadership style could best be described as “chaotic benevolence with juice breaks.” Ellie ran a successful daycare for magical creatures with behavioral issues. The tagline: “We Hug First, Ask Questions Later.” She had mastered the art of calming down a tantruming gnome with a glow stick and learned exactly how many glitter-bombs it took to distract a tantrum-prone unicorn with boundary issues (three and a half). Mark, meanwhile, had been elected to the Dragonland Council under the “reluctantly competent human” clause. His campaign platform included phrases like “Let’s stop setting fire to the mail” and “Fiscal responsibility: it’s not just for wizards.” Against all odds, it worked. He now chaired the Committee on Ethical Flame Use, where he spent most of his time writing policy to prevent dragons from using their farts as tactical weather devices. “We had a drought last month,” Mark muttered at the kitchen table one morning, scribbling on a parchment. “And instead of summoning rain, Glork farted a cloud the size of Cleveland into existence. It snowed pickles, Ellie. For twelve hours.” “They were delicious, though,” Max chirped, chewing one casually like it was a normal Tuesday. Then came The Incident. One sunny morning, Max and Snuggleflame were doing their usual stunt flights over the Glitter Dunes when Max accidentally dropped his lunch — a peanut butter sandwich enchanted with a happiness charm. The sandwich fell directly onto the ceremonial altar of the Grumblebeards, a cranky race of lava goblins with sensitive noses and no sense of humor. They declared war. On whom, exactly, was unclear — the child, the sandwich, the very concept of joy — but war was declared nonetheless. The Dragonland Council convened an emergency summit. Mark put on his “serious” robe (which featured fewer bedazzled stars than the casual one), Ellie brought her crisis glitter, and Max… brought Snuggleflame. “We’ll negotiate,” said Mark. “We’ll dazzle them,” said Ellie. “We’ll weaponize cuteness,” said Max, his eyes practically sparkling with tactical whimsy. And so they did. After three hours of increasingly confusing diplomacy, several emotional monologues about peanut allergies, and a full toddler-led puppet show reenacting “How Sandwiches Are Made With Love,” the Grumblebeards agreed to a ceasefire… if Snuggleflame could fart a cloud shaped like their ancestral totem: a slightly melting lava cat named Shlorp. Snuggleflame, after three helpings of spicy moonberries and a dramatic tail stretch, delivered. The resulting cloud was magnificent. It purred. It glowed. It made fart sounds in four-part harmony. The Grumblebeards wept openly and handed over a peace contract written in crayon. Dragonland was saved. Max was promoted to Supreme Hugmaster of the Inter-Mythical Council. Ellie received the Glitterheart Medal for Emotional Conflict Resolution. Mark was finally allowed to install smoke detectors without being called a “buzzkill.” Years passed. Max grew. So did Snuggleflame — who now sported a monocle, a saddle, and an unshakeable fondness for dad jokes. They became living legends, flying between dimensions, solving magical disputes, spreading laughter, and occasionally dropping enchanted sandwiches onto unsuspecting picnic-goers. But every year, on the anniversary of The Incident, they returned home to that very same stone arch in Iceland. They’d share stories, toast marshmallows on Snuggleflame’s backdraft, and watch the skies together, wondering who else might need a little more magic… or a cuddle-powered ceasefire. And for anyone who asks if it really happened — the dragons, the portals, the diplomacy powered by hugs — Max has just one answer: “You ever seen a toddler lie about a dragon bestie with that much confidence? Didn’t think so.” The End. (Or maybe just the beginning.)     Take a Piece of Dragonland Home 🐉 If “My Dragon Bestie” made your inner child do a little happy dance (or snort-laugh into your coffee), you can bring that magical mischief into your real world! Whether you want to cozy up with a fleece blanket that’s as warm as Snuggleflame’s belly, or add some whimsical fire-breathing flair to your space with a metal print or framed wall art, we’ve got you covered. Send a smile (and maybe a giggle-snort) with a greeting card, or go big and bold with a storytelling centerpiece like our vibrant tapestry. Every item features the high-detail, whimsical world of “My Dragon Bestie” — a perfect way to bring fantasy, fun, and fireproof friendship into your home or to share with the dragon-lover in your life.

par Bill Tiepelman

The Petal's Little Protector

It was a night so muggy you could drink the air. Somewhere between midnight and whatever hour is reserved for bad decisions, the garden vibrated with the kind of life that most respectable creatures avoided. Crickets shouted unsolicited opinions. Moths made questionable life choices involving open flames. A possum waddled by with the kind of unbothered confidence that only comes from making peace with one’s own trashy destiny. And there, amid the chaos, reigning supreme on a lotus bud not even fully awake yet, was Pip. Pip: a creature of approximately eight ounces, three ounces of which were ego. A micro-dragon, a salamander dream gone technicolor — turquoise and gold and candy-apple red, shimmering like a toddler’s glitter accident. His frills fluttered dramatically in the nonexistent breeze. His tail, striped and twitchy, thumped the bud with the rhythmic impatience of a CEO stuck on hold. “Listen up, you soggy peasants,” Pip squeaked to absolutely no one. His voice carried the world-weary scorn of someone who had once been forced to attend a meeting that could’ve been an email. “This bloom is sacred. Saaaacred. I will destroy anyone who so much as breathes on her wrong.” He turned his head, slowly, menacingly, to glare at a confused beetle trundling by. The beetle paused, sensing the general vibe, and awkwardly reverse-walked into the nearest thicket. The lotus bud said nothing. If it had a face, it would have been wearing the strained smile of someone stuck next to a very drunk relative at a wedding reception. Pip didn’t care. He pressed his scaly cheek against her soft petals and sighed with the kind of tragic romance usually reserved for operatic heroines on their fourth glass of wine. “You’re perfect,” he whispered fiercely. “And this world is full of sweaty-fingered monsters who want to touch you. I won’t let them. Not even a little. Not even ironically.” Overhead, a disillusioned owl, bearing witness to this performance for the third night in a row, considered seeking therapy. Still, Pip remained vigilant. He flared his head fins every time a wayward breeze threatened to flutter the petals. He growled (adorably) at a toad who looked at the lotus with mild interest. When a moth had the audacity to land within a six-inch radius, Pip executed a flying tackle so dramatic it ended with him sprawled belly-up in the damp grass, legs kicking indignantly at the stars. He was back on the bud within seconds, polishing the flower with the inside of his elbow and muttering, “No one saw that. No one saw that.” Truth was, Pip had no official title. No magic spells. No real strength. But what he lacked in credentials, he made up for with boundless, unrelenting devotion. The kind that could only be born from believing, deep down, that even the most ridiculous, most mismatched protectors were still the right ones for the things they loved. And the lotus — she stayed silent and serene, trusting him completely, maybe even loving him back in her own slow, green way. Because sometimes, the universe didn’t choose champions based on size or power or grandeur. Sometimes, it chose the loudest, smallest brat with the biggest heart. The night dragged onward, a wet symphony of croaks, chirps, and far-off shrieks that no respectable citizen should ever investigate. Pip stayed rooted on the lotus, a hyper-vigilant blot of color in an otherwise sleepy world. His tiny heart thudded like a war drum against his ribs. His frills sagged slightly, damp with dew and exhaustion. And yet — he remained. Because evil never sleeps. And neither, apparently, did Pip. Just when he dared to blink, just when he permitted himself a victorious thought (“No one would dare challenge me now”), it happened — the catastrophe he’d been dreading. From the gloom emerged a hulking threat: a bullfrog. Fat. Warty. Oozing malevolence, or at least gas. It fixed its milky gaze on the lotus with the lazy hunger of a man contemplating a third slice of pie. Pip’s pupils narrowed to slits. This was it. The Boss Battle. He drew himself up to his full, mighty three inches of height. He arched his back, flared every fin he possessed (and one he may have invented out of sheer spite), and let loose the fiercest battle cry his little lungs could manage: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” The frog blinked slowly, unimpressed. Pip threw himself bodily off the bud, all claws and noise, landing squarely between the lotus and the amphibious threat. He puffed, he hissed, he slapped the ground with his tail in a display so wildly unnecessary that the frog actually reconsidered its life choices. After a long, tense moment, the frog croaked once — a low, begrudging sound — and turned away. Pip remained frozen until the sounds of its retreat faded into the misty dark. Then, and only then, did Pip allow himself to collapse theatrically against the stem of the flower, panting like a marathoner who hadn’t trained. “You’re welcome, world,” he muttered, slapping one tiny hand dramatically against his forehead. The lotus said nothing, of course. Flowers are not known for effusive gratitude. But Pip could feel her appreciation, warm and slow and deep, wrapping around him like a hug no one else could see. He dragged himself back up onto the bud with great ceremony. He needed the world to know he was battered, bruised, and therefore desperately heroic. Once settled, he wrapped his limbs tight around the petals and buried his snout against her soft surface. In the distance, the owl — now lying prone on a branch from sheer secondhand exhaustion — offered a slow, sarcastic clap with one wing against the other. And the garden? It kept on living its messy, ridiculous life. Crickets hollered. Beetles clattered. Somewhere, something squelched ominously. But none of it could touch the lotus. Not while Pip stood (well, laid) guard. Because no matter how small, no matter how silly, the bond between protector and protected was unbreakable. No monster, no weather, no cruel accident of fate could tear apart what Pip had vowed to defend — not with teeth, or tail, or most importantly, obnoxious determination. Under the dappled moonlight, the Petal’s Little Protector snored softly, frills twitching in some dream of endless battles won and blooms forever safe. And the lotus — safe, whole, and untouched — cradled him gently until morning.     Epilogue: The Legend of Pip They say if you wander far enough into the garden — past the muttering lilies, beyond the judgmental daisies, through the part where even the weeds seem suspicious — you might just find a lotus blooming alone under the open sky. If you’re lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you feel about being yelled at by something the size of your thumb), you’ll catch a glimpse of him: a shimmer of impossible colors, a flash of fin and frill, a guardian curled protectively around a single sacred flower. Approach too quickly, and he’ll scold you with the full, furious force of someone who once fought off a frog three times his size. Approach too carefully, and he might just approve of you. Maybe. If you’re very lucky, and your vibe is sufficiently non-threatening, Pip might even allow you to sit nearby — under the strict understanding that you are absolutely, categorically, not to touch the flower. Or him. Or breathe too loudly. Or exist too flamboyantly in his general direction. And if you sit there long enough, if you let the night fall around you and the stars stitch themselves into the black velvet above, you might start to feel it too — that fierce, funny, aching kind of love that demands nothing but promises everything. That stubborn, ridiculous, beautiful kind of protection only the bravest little hearts know how to give. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll realize that the world is still full of tiny, glittering miracles — guarding the best parts of it with tooth, tail, and absolute, glorious defiance.     Take Pip Home (Carefully!) If your heart’s been thoroughly stolen by Pip (don’t worry, he does that a lot), you can invite a little bit of his fiercely protective magic into your own world. Choose your favorite way to keep the legend alive: Wrap yourself in wonder with a stunning tapestry featuring Pip in all his colorful, chaotic glory. Bring his fierce little spirit into your space with a sleek, vibrant metal print. Tote his sass and loyalty everywhere you go with a whimsical, sturdy tote bag. Start your mornings with a grumpy guardian by your side — Pip looks particularly judgmental on a coffee mug (in the best way). Whichever you choose, just remember Pip’s golden rule: Look, but don’t touch the flower. Ever.

par Bill Tiepelman

Tongues and Talons

Of Eggs, Egos, and Explosions Burlap Tinklestump never planned to be a father. He could barely manage adult gnomehood, what with the ale debts, magical gardening fines, and one unresolved beef with the local frog choir. But destiny—or more precisely, a slightly intoxicated hedgehog named Fergus—had other ideas. It began, as these things often do, with a dare. “Lick it,” Fergus slurred, pointing at a cracked, iridescent egg nestled in the roots of a fireberry tree. “Betcha won’t.” “Bet I will,” Burlap shot back, without even asking what species it belonged to. He’d just finished chugging a fermented root beer so strong it could strip bark. His judgment was, generously, compromised. And so, with a tongue that had already survived three chili-eating contests and one unfortunate bee spell, Burlap gave the egg a full, slobbery swipe. It cracked. It hissed. It combusted. Out hatched a baby dragon—tiny, green, and already pissed off. The newborn let out a screech like a kettle having an existential crisis, flared its wings, and promptly bit Burlap on the nose. Sparks flew. Burlap screamed. Fergus passed out in a daffodil patch. “Well,” Burlap wheezed, prying the tiny jaws off his face, “guess that’s parenting now.” He named the dragon Singe, partly for the way it charred everything it sneezed on, and partly because it had already reduced his favorite pants to ashes. Singe, for his part, adopted Burlap in that aloof, vaguely threatening way that only dragons and cats truly master. He rode around on the gnome’s shoulder, hissed at authority figures, and developed a taste for roasted insects and sarcasm. Within weeks, the two became inseparable—and entirely insufferable. Together they perfected the art of mischief in the Dinglethorn Wilds: lacing faerie tea with fireball elixirs, redirecting squirrel migration routes with enchanted nut decoys, and once swapping the Wishing Pond’s coins with shiny goblin poker chips. The forest folk tried to reason with them. That failed. They tried to bribe them with mushroom pies. That almost worked. But it wasn’t until Burlap used Singe to light a ceremonial elvish tapestry—during a wedding, no less—that real consequences came knocking. The Elvish Postal Authority, a guild feared even by trolls, issued a notice of severe misconduct, public disruption, and ‘unauthorized flame-based object alteration’. It arrived via flaming pigeon. “We have to go underground,” Burlap declared. “Or up. Higher ground. Strategic advantage. Less paperwork.” And that’s when he discovered the Mushroom. It was colossal—an ancient, towering toadstool rumored to be sentient and mildly perverted. Burlap moved in immediately. He carved a spiral staircase up the stalk, installed a hammock made of recycled spider silk, and nailed a crooked sign to the cap: The High Fungus Consulate – Diplomatic Immunity & Spores for All. “We live here now,” he told Singe, who replied by incinerating a squirrel who’d asked for rent. The gnome nodded in approval. “Good. They’ll respect us.” Respect, as it turned out, was not the first reaction. The Forest Council called an emergency tribunal. Queen Glimmer sent an ambassador. The owlfolk drafted sanctions. And the elvish inspector returned—this time with a flamethrower of his own and a 67-count indictment scroll. Burlap, wearing a ceremonial robe made of moss and buttons, greeted him with a manic grin. “Tell your queen I demand recognition. Also, I licked the tax form. It’s legally mine now.” The inspector opened his mouth to reply—just as Singe sneezed a fireball the size of a cantaloupe into his boots. Chaos had only just begun. Fire, Fungi, and the Fall of Forest Law Three days after the incident with the flaming boots, Burlap and Singe stood trial in the Grand Glade Tribunal—an ancient patch of sacred forest converted into a courthouse by some very judgmental birches. The crowd was massive. Pixies with protest signs, dryads holding petitions, a group of anarchist hedgehogs chanting “NO SHROOM WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!” and at least one confused centaur who thought this was an herbalist expo. Burlap, in a robe made from stitched-together leaves and sandwich wrappers, sat perched atop a velvet mushroom throne he'd smuggled in from his “consulate.” Singe, now the size of a medium turkey and infinitely more combustible, sat curled on the gnome’s lap with a smug expression that only a creature born of fire and entitlement could maintain. Queen Glimmer presided. Her silver wings fluttered with restrained fury as she read the charges: “Unlawful dragon domestication. Unauthorized toadstool expansion. Misuse of enchanted flatulence. And one count of insulting a tree priest with interpretive dance.” “That last one was art,” Burlap muttered. “You can’t charge for expression.” “You danced on his altar while yelling ‘SPORE THIS!’” “He started it.” As the trial went on, things unraveled fast. The badger militia presented charred evidence, including half a mailbox and a wedding veil. Burlap called a raccoon named Dave as a character witness, who mostly tried to steal the bailiff’s pocket watch. Singe testified in the form of smoke puffs and mild arson. And then, as tensions peaked, Burlap unveiled his trump card: a magically binding diplomatic document written in ancient fungal script. “Behold!” he shouted, slapping the scroll onto the stump of testimony. “The Spores of Sanctuary Accord! Signed by the Fungus King himself—may his gills ever flourish.” Everyone gasped. Mostly because it smelled awful. Queen Glimmer read it carefully. “This... this is a menu from a questionable mushroom bar in the Marshes of Meh.” “Still binding,” Burlap replied. “It’s laminated.” In the chaos that followed—wherein a squirrel delegate threw a nut bomb, a pixie went rogue with glitter-based spells, and Singe decided the time was ripe for his first true roar—the trial collapsed into something more closely resembling a music festival run by toddlers with matches. And Burlap, never one to miss a dramatic exit, whistled for his getaway plan: a flying wheelbarrow powered by fermented gnome gas and old firework enchantments. He climbed aboard with Singe, gave a two-finger salute to the crowd, and shouted, “The High Fungus Consulate shall rise again! Preferably on Tuesdays!” They vanished in a trail of smoke, fire, and what smelled suspiciously like roasted garlic and regret. Weeks later, the Mushroom Embassy was declared a public hazard and burned down—though some claim it grew back overnight, taller, weirder, and faintly humming jazz. Burlap and Singe were never captured. They became legends. Myths. The kind whispered by tavern bards who smirk when the lute chords go slightly off tune. Some say they live in the Outer Bramble now, where law fears to tread and gnomes make their own constitutions. Others claim they opened a food truck specializing in spicy mushroom tacos and dragon-brewed cider. But one thing’s clear: Wherever there’s laughter, smoke, and a mushroom slightly out of place… Burlap Tinklestump and Singe are probably nearby, plotting their next ridiculous rebellion against authority, order, and pants. The forest forgives many things—but it never forgets a well-cooked elvish tax scroll.     EPILOGUE – The Gnome, the Dragon, and the Whispering Spores Years passed in the Dinglethorn Wilds, though “years” is a fuzzy term in a forest where time bends politely around mushroom rings and the moon occasionally takes Tuesdays off. The tale of Burlap Tinklestump and Singe grew roots and wings, mutating with every retelling. Some said they overthrew a goblin mayor. Others swore they built a fortress made entirely of stolen doorbells. One rumor claimed Singe fathered an entire generation of spicy-tempered wyvernlings, all with a flair for interpretive fire dancing. The truth was, as usual, far stranger. Burlap and Singe lived free, nomadic, and joyfully unaccountable. They wandered from glade to glade, stirring trouble like a spoon in a bubbling pot. They crashed fae garden parties, rewrote troll toll policies with sock puppets, and opened a short-lived consulting firm called Gnomebody’s Business, which specialized in diplomatic sabotage and mushroom real estate. They were kicked out of seventeen realms. Burlap framed each eviction notice and hung them with pride in whatever hollow log or enchanted gazebo they currently squatted in. Singe grew stronger, wiser, and no less chaotic. By adulthood, he could torch a beanstalk mid-air while spelling out rude words in smoke. He’d developed an affinity for jazz flute, enchanted bacon, and sneezing contests. And through it all, he remained perched—either on Burlap’s shoulder, his head, or on the nearest flammable object. Burlap aged only in theory. His beard got longer. His pranks got crueler. But his laugh—oh, that full-bodied, giddy cackle—echoed through the forest like a mischievous anthem. Even the trees began to lean in when he passed, eager to hear what idiocy he’d utter next. Eventually, they disappeared entirely. No sightings. No fire trails. Just silence… and mushrooms. Glowing, tall, gnarled mushrooms appeared wherever they’d once been—often with singe marks, bite impressions, and, occasionally, indecent graffiti. The High Fungus Consulate, it seems, had simply gone... airborne. To this day, if you enter the Dinglethorn at twilight and tell a lie with a grin, you might hear a chuckle on the wind. And if you leave behind a pie, a bad poem, or a political pamphlet soaked in brandy—well, let’s just say that pie might come back flaming, annotated, and demanding a seat at the council table. Because Burlap and Singe weren’t just legends. They were a warning wrapped in laughter, tied with fire, and sealed with a mushroom stamp.     Bring the Mischief Home – Shop "Tongues and Talons" Collectibles Feeling the itch to cause some magical mayhem of your own? Invite Burlap and Singe into your world with our exclusive Tongues and Talons collection — crafted for rebels, dreamers, and mushroom-loving firestarters. 🔥 Metal Print: Bold, gleaming, and built to withstand even a dragon sneeze — this metal print captures every detail of the gnome-dragon duo’s chaotic charm in razor-sharp resolution. 🖼️ Canvas Print: Add a splash of whimsy and fire to your walls with this stunning canvas print. It’s storytelling, texture, and toadstool glory all in one frame-worthy piece. 🛋️ Throw Pillow: Need a cozy companion for your next mischief-filled nap? Our Tongues and Talons throw pillow is the softest way to keep dragon energy on your couch — no scorch marks included. 👜 Tote Bag: Whether you're hauling forbidden scrolls, enchanted snacks, or questionable diplomatic documents, this tote bag has your back with sturdy style and spellbinding flair. Shop now and carry a little bit of chaos, laughter, and legendary fungus with you — wherever your next adventure leads.

par Bill Tiepelman

Born of Ash and Whisper

In Which the Dragon Crashes Brunch Maggie had three rules when it came to dating: no musicians, no cultists, and absolutely no summoning spells before coffee. So imagine her mood when her Sunday hangover was interrupted by a loud pop, a puff of sulfur, and a tiny, winged demon landing face-first into her half-eaten croissant. “Excuse you,” she muttered, flicking powdered sugar off her robe. The creature sneezed, coughed up a coal, and blinked at her with large, ember-flecked eyes. It looked like a lizard mated with a nightmare and gave birth to a goth chicken nugget. It hissed. Maggie hissed back. “Listen, Hot Topic,” she grumbled, cradling her forehead, “whatever infernal womb spat you out clearly didn’t finish the instructions.” The dragon squeaked indignantly and flapped its wings in what Maggie could only interpret as attitude. Its claws were tiny. Its ego? Not so much. As she tried to pick it up using a potholder and a cereal bowl, the creature inhaled deeply and burped out a perfect smoke ring in the shape of a middle finger. “Oh, sass. You came with sass.” Thirty minutes and one minor kitchen fire later, Maggie had managed to corral the dragon into an old cat bed she’d been meaning to donate to Goodwill. It curled up like a smug little inferno and immediately fell asleep. She could swear it purred. “This is fine,” she said to no one. “This is how people become warlocks, isn’t it?” Outside, the world continued being normal. Inside her rent-controlled apartment, a dragon that smelled like burnt marshmallows and sarcasm had adopted her. She poured herself more wine. It was 10:42 a.m. In Which Maggie Joins a Cult (But Just for the Snacks) The next morning Maggie woke up to find the dragon perched on her chest like a judgmental paperweight. It smelled faintly of espresso and something illegal in three states. Its name, according to the faintly glowing rune now tattooed across her forearm, was “Cindervex.” “Well, that’s not ominous at all,” she grumbled, poking the little beast in the snout. “Do you do tricks? Pay rent? Breathe less?” Cindervex snorted a puff of ash and promptly coughed up a tiny, slightly smoking coin. Maggie inspected it. Gold. Real gold. She turned to the dragon, who looked far too pleased with himself. “Okay, you live here now.” By noon, Maggie had a dragon in a baby Björn, aviators on, and a grocery list that included ‘kale’ and ‘dragon-safe firewood.’ She did not have answers, dignity, or any real understanding of the arcane arts, but she did have a glowing wrist tattoo that now vibrated when she passed the corner of 6th and Pine. “No,” she muttered. “Not today, Satan. Or Tuesday.” But the tug of magical curiosity and the faint scent of garlic knots drew her in like a moth to a pizza oven. Down an alley, through a brick archway, and past a sentient fern that tried to unionize her hair, Maggie found herself standing before a rustic wooden door with a sign that read: “THE ORDER OF FLAME & FOCACCIA — Visitors Welcome, Opinions Optional.” “Oh great,” she said. “It’s a hipster cult.” She was greeted by a woman in a caftan made of velvet and poor decisions, who immediately clasped her hands. “You’ve brought the Emberchild! The Scaled One! The Prophet of Reheated Destiny!” “I call him Vex. And he bites people who say ‘prophet’ with a straight face.” The woman—Sunblossom, of course—led Maggie through what could only be described as Restoration Hardware meets Hellboy fanfiction. Long wooden tables. Floating candles. A small wyvern in the corner wearing a beret and reading *The Economist.* “You’re among friends here,” Sunblossom purred. “We are bound by flame. By ritual. By the brunch buffet.” “Is that a waffle fountain?” Maggie asked, stunned. “Yes. And mimosa golems. They keep your glass full until you surrender or die.” Somewhere in the distance, a man screamed, “No more prosecco, you devil sponge!” Cindervex hissed happily. Apparently, this was home now. Over goat cheese frittata and a surprisingly insightful conversation about dragon soul-bonding laws, Maggie learned that Cindervex had chosen her. Not just as a caretaker, but as a Conduit—a human being tapped to bridge the magical and mundane, possibly lead a rebellion, and definitely help design seasonal merch for the cult’s online shop. “There’s a hoodie?” she asked. “Three. And a tumbler. BPA-free.” She paused. “Okay. I'm in. But just for the hoodie. And the snacks.” The room erupted in joyous fireballs. The mimosa golem did a cartwheel. Someone summoned a kazoo-playing imp. Maggie blinked. It was chaos. It was ridiculous. It was hers. Back at her apartment that evening, Maggie collapsed on the couch, Cindervex curled at her feet. Her wrist glowed faintly with new runes: Initiate. Brunch-Approved. Caution: May Ignite Sass. She laughed. Then she poured another glass of wine and toasted the ceiling. “To destiny. To waffles. To accidentally joining a cult.” Cindervex purred, burped out a fireheart-shaped smoke ring, and stole her throw pillow. Somehow, this was the most stable relationship she’d had in years.     Epilogue: In Which Everything Burns, But Like... In a Good Way Six months later, Maggie had adjusted to life as a brunch sorceress, part-time chaos gremlin, and reluctant cult celebrity. Cindervex now had a dedicated fire-proof bean bag, his own corner of the apartment (lined with gold coins and stolen socks), and an Instagram following of 78,000 under the handle @LilSmokeyLord. They still fought—mostly over bath time and how many fireballs were considered “too many” in a laundromat—but they were a unit now. Partners. A girl and her dragon, trying to navigate a world that didn’t list “arcane brunch queen” on its tax forms. The Order of Flame & Focaccia was thriving. They opened a second chapter in Portland. The hoodie waitlist was a nightmare. Maggie had accidentally become a motivational speaker for magical burnout recovery, which she delivered with the energy of someone who once summoned a thunderstorm because her latte had too much foam. She had friends now. A talking cauldron named Gary. A banshee who did her taxes. Even a date or two, though most were scared off by the part where her pet tried to set their shoelaces on fire “as a vibe check.” But she was happy. Not the fake kind of happy you post on social media, but the weird, loud, chaotic kind that makes your neighbors suspicious and your therapist very intrigued. On the night of the Vernal Equinox, she stood on her balcony with Cindervex on her shoulder. The city glittered below. Somewhere, distant drums thudded from a magical rave she wasn’t drunk enough to attend. Yet. “We good?” she asked the dragon. He flared his wings, let out a gentle burp of violet flame, and settled in. That was dragon-speak for ‘yes, and also I’m about to pee in your houseplant.’ “You little hell nugget,” she said, smiling. “Don’t ever change.” And he didn’t. Not really. He just got weirder. Louder. More chaotic. Like her. Which, when you think about it, was kind of the point. Everything burns eventually. Might as well light it up with someone who brings their own matches and snacks. The End... probably.     Bring the Flame Home 🔥 If you fell in love with the story of Maggie and her attitude-packed dragon, you're not alone. Now you can bring their world into yours with exclusive merch inspired by Born of Ash and Whisper, available now from Unfocussed. 🔥 Metal Print – Make a statement. Fireproof-ish. Beautifully bold. 🔥 Tapestry – Turn your wall into a magical gateway (or dragon lair). 🔥 Throw Pillow – For when your emotional support dragon needs emotional support. 🔥 Greeting Card – Say it with sass and smoke rings. Perfect for dragon-worthy messages. 🔥 Spiral Notebook – Chronicle your own accidental cult adventures in style. Because honestly, who doesn’t need more dragons in their life?

par Bill Tiepelman

Pastel Awakening

Yolanda Hatches with Attitude It all began on an unnaturally sunny morning in the enchanted meadow of Wickerwhim, where flowers bloomed with suspicious cheerfulness and butterflies giggled too loudly for anyone’s comfort. At the center of this excessive joy sat a single, oversized egg. Not just any egg—this one was hand-painted by fairies who got into the glitter again. Swirls of gold vines, pastel polka dots, and blooming sugarflowers wrapped around the shell like an Instagrammable Fabergé fantasy. And inside this egg? Trouble. With wings. The shell cracked. A tiny claw poked through, then another. A faint voice echoed from within: “If I don't get a mimosa in the next five minutes, I’m staying in here until next spring.” The final crack split the egg in half, revealing a rather unimpressed baby dragon. Her scales were the color of champagne and strawberry macarons, shimmering in the sunlight like she'd been incubated in a spa. She blinked once. Then twice. Then threw a perfectly skeptical side-eye at a daffodil. “Don’t look at me like that, flower. You try waking up in a decorative egg without central heating.” This was Yolanda. Not exactly the Chosen One, unless the prophecy was about attitude problems. She stretched one wing, sniffed a tulip, and muttered, “Ugh, allergies. Of course I’m born in a field of airborne pollen.” Nearby, the local bunnies—wearing waistcoats and monocles, because of course they did—gathered in a panic. “The egg has hatched! The prophecy has begun!” one of them squeaked. “The Flower Dragon awakens!” Yolanda looked them up and down. “I better not be in some sort of seasonal prophecy. I just got here, I haven’t even exfoliated yet.” From across the field, the pastel council of Spring Spirits approached. They shimmered like soap bubbles and smelled faintly of marshmallow fluff and judgment. “Welcome, O Eggborn. You are the Herald of Bloom, the Bringer of Renewal, the—” “—The girl who hasn’t had breakfast yet,” Yolanda cut in. “Unless y’all got a caramel-filled peep or something, I’m not saving squat.” The spirits paused. One of them, possibly the leader, floated closer. “You are sassier than expected.” Yolanda yawned. “I’m also cold. I demand a blanket, a brunch buffet, and a name that doesn’t sound like a seasonal candle.” And just like that, the prophesied dragon of spring rose from her glitter egg, blinking into the sunshine and ready to sass her way through destiny—or nap through it, depending on the snack situation. She was Yolanda. She was awake. And heaven help anyone who stood between her and the Easter chocolate. Chocolate Thrones & Marshmallow Rebellions By the afternoon, Yolanda had commandeered a sunhat made of woven daffodil petals, two jellybean necklaces, and a throne constructed entirely from half-melted chocolate bunnies. It was sticky. It was unstable. It was fabulous. “Bring me the soft-centered truffles!” she commanded, draped across the makeshift throne like a decadent lounge singer who'd missed her career calling. “And I swear if I get one more hollow rabbit, someone’s going in the compost pile.” The bunny council tried to keep up with her demands. Harold, a twitchy but well-meaning rabbit with pince-nez glasses and anxiety issues, scurried over with a basket of foil-wrapped goodies. “O Eggborn, perhaps you’d care to review the Festival of Blooming this evening? There will be fireworks and... organic seed cookies?” Yolanda gave him a look so flat it could’ve been served as a crêpe. “Fireworks? In a flower field? Are you trying to start an inferno? And did you say seed cookies? Harold. Babe. I’m a dragon. I don’t do chia.” “But… the prophecies!” Harold whimpered. “Prophecies are just old stories written by people who wanted an excuse to light things on fire,” she replied. “I read half of one this morning. Fell asleep during the ‘Song of Seasonal Restoration’—sounded like a dehydrated elf trying to rhyme ‘photosynthesis.’” Meanwhile, whispers rustled through the meadows. The Marshmallow Folk were stirring. Now, let’s get one thing straight: the Marshmallow Folk were not sweet. Not anymore. They had been sugar-toasted and forgotten by the Seasonal Spirits centuries ago, cursed to bounce eternally between over-sweetness and underappreciation. They wore robes of cellophane and rode PEEPS™ into battle. And Yolanda? She was about to become their Queen. Or their lunch. Possibly both. The first sign came as a ripple across the grass—tiny, spongy feet thudding like aggressive fluff balls. Yolanda sat up on her throne, one claw dipped lazily into a jar of hazelnut spread. “Do you hear that?” “The prophecy says this is the Hour of Saccharine Reckoning!” cried Harold, holding up a parchment so old it crumbled in his paws. “Sounds like a mood swing with branding,” Yolanda muttered. She stood, wings fluttering dramatically for effect. “Let me guess: angry sentient marshmallows, right? Wearing cute hats?” The horde crested the hill like a menacing cloud of dessert-themed vengeance. At the front was a particularly large marshmallow with licorice boots and a jawline that could slice fondant. He pointed a candy cane staff at Yolanda and shouted, “TREMBLE, SHE-WHELP OF SPRING! THE SUGAR SHALL RISE!” Yolanda blinked. “Oh no. They monologue.” He continued, unfazed. “We demand tribute! One seasonal dragon, lightly toasted and dipped in ganache!” “You try to roast me and I swear, I’ll turn this field into crème brûlée,” Yolanda growled. “I just figured out how to breathe warm mist and you want to start a cookout?” Battle nearly broke out right there in the tulips—until Yolanda, with one raised claw, paused the moment like a director at tech rehearsal. “Alright. Everyone stop. Time out. What if—and I’m just brainstorming here—we did a peace treaty. With snacks. And wine.” The Marshmallow general tilted his head. “Wine?” “You ever had rosé and carrot cake? Transcendent,” she smirked. “Let’s vibe instead of barbecue.” It worked. Because of course it did. Yolanda was a dragon of unreasonable charm and unreasonable demands. That night, under garlanded moonlight and glowworms strung like fairy lights, the first ever Festival of Fizzing Treaties took place. Marshmallows and bunnies danced. Spirits got tipsy on honeysuckle mead. Yolanda DJ’d using her wings as cymbals and declared herself ‘Supreme Seasonal Sassmaster.’ By sunrise, a new prophecy had been scribbled into existence, mostly by a drunk faun using syrup and hope. It read: “She came from the egg of pastel bloom,Brought sass and threats of fiery doom.She calmed the fluff, the sweet, the sticky—With brunch and jokes that bordered icky.Hail Yolanda, Queen of Spring—Who’d rather nap than do a thing.” Yolanda approved. She curled up beside a basket of espresso truffles, tail flicking lazily, and muttered, “Now that’s a legacy I can nap to.” And with that, the first dragon of Easter snoozed off into legend—her belly full, her crown askew, and her meadow safe (if slightly caramelized).     Can’t get enough of Yolanda’s pastel sass and egg-born elegance? Bring her magic into your own world with a little help from our enchanted archive! Canvas prints bring her fire-breathing flair to your walls, while the tote bags let you carry attitude and artistry wherever you go. Feeling cozy? Snuggle up in the most extra way possible with a plush fleece blanket. Want a little sass in your space? Try a wall tapestry worthy of any dragon queen’s den. And for those who need their daily dose of pastel power on the go, we’ve got iPhone cases that pack attitude in every tap. Claim your piece of dragon legend now—Yolanda wouldn’t settle for less, and neither should you.

par Bill Tiepelman

Paws, Claws, and Dragon Flaws

A Hatchling's First Crime Spree The problem with baby dragons—aside from the fire, claws, and tendency to bite first and ask questions never—is that they have zero sense of consequences. That was exactly the issue with Scorch, a freshly hatched menace with a face too cute for its own damn good. Scorch was small, green, and absurdly chonky for a dragon. He had big, round eyes that made villagers go “Awww!” right before he set their laundry on fire. His wings were still useless, which made him mad as hell, so he compensated by getting into everyone’s business. If you had food? It was his now. If you had valuables? Also his. If you had dignity? Kiss that goodbye. Unfortunately for the town of Bramblewick, Scorch had decided that today was the day he would make the entire village his. And that meant looting. A lot of looting. A One-Dragon Heist It started at Old Man Higgins’ bakery. The old bastard never stood a chance. One second, he was setting out a fresh tray of honey buns, and the next, a green blur shot through the open window, snagged the entire batch, and scurried off under a cart. “What the—” Higgins sputtered, staring at his empty counter. Then he spotted the culprit. Scorch, sticky-faced and smug, licked honey off his claws and burped directly in Higgins’ direction. “Why, you little—” Scorch took off, tail wiggling as he darted down the street, leaving a trail of crumbs and zero remorse. Criminal Mastermind… Kinda By noon, he had: Stolen a pie from the windowsill of Widow Gertrude (who threw a broom at him and missed). Pilfered a pair of underpants off someone’s clothesline (why? No one knows). Scared the blacksmith’s apprentice by sneaking up behind him and exhaling just enough smoke to make him pee himself. Bit a knight’s boot because it was shiny. The villagers were beginning to take notice. A posse formed. Angry murmurs spread. “That little bastard just stole my lunch.” “He’s been terrorizing my chickens!” “He stole my wife’s best cooking pot! And she’s pissed!” Scorch, completely unbothered, was currently sitting in the middle of the fountain, feet kicked up, gnawing on a stolen ham hock. Then, just as he was really getting comfortable, a shadow loomed over him. Enter Trouble “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the town’s newest pain in my ass.” Scorch paused mid-chew and looked up. It was Fiona. The town’s official problem-solver. She was tall, scarred, and wielded an attitude as sharp as the sword on her hip. She also looked thoroughly unimpressed. “You done yet, Tiny Terror? Or are you planning to rob the mayor next?” Scorch blinked his big, innocent eyes. Fiona crossed her arms. “Don’t even try it. I’ve been around too long to fall for that cute act.” Scorch, deciding he did not like this woman, stuck his tongue out and immediately launched himself at her face. Unfortunately, his tiny, useless wings did nothing, so instead of an epic attack, he just face-planted onto her boot. Silence. Fiona sighed. “Gods save me, this is going to be a long day.” How to Train Your Disaster Fiona had dealt with all kinds of problems before—bandits, mercenaries, one very drunk wizard—but never had she been tasked with disciplining a pint-sized dragon with a superiority complex. She bent down and picked up Scorch by the scruff like an angry mother cat. He flailed. He hissed. He smacked her in the face with his chubby little paw. None of it was effective. “Alright, you tiny bastard,” she muttered. “You’re coming with me.” The townsfolk cheered. “About time someone dealt with that little menace!” “Throw him in the stocks!” “No! Send him to the mines!” Fiona gave them all a look. “He’s a baby.” “A baby criminal,” Widow Gertrude shot back. “He stole my pie.” Scorch, still dangling from Fiona’s grip, licked his lips loudly. “See? No remorse!” Gertrude shrieked. Fiona sighed and turned on her heel. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll deal with him.” And before the mob could organize itself further, she marched off, dragon in tow. The Art of Discipline (or Lack Thereof) Fiona’s idea of “dealing with” Scorch turned out to be plopping him down on her kitchen table and pointing a finger at him. “You need to stop stealing things,” she said firmly. Scorch yawned. “I’m serious. You’re pissing everyone off.” Scorch flopped onto his back and dramatically threw his legs in the air. “Oh, don’t even. You’re not dying. You’re just spoiled.” Scorch let out a very unconvincing death rattle. Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know what? Fine. You wanna be a little menace? Let’s make it official. You work for me now.” Scorch stopped fake-dying. He blinked. Tilted his head. “Yeah,” Fiona continued. “I’m making you my apprentice.” Scorch stared. Then he did the only logical thing—he stole her dagger straight from its sheath. “You little shit—” A New Partnership It took fifteen minutes, a chair tipped over, and a very unfortunate headbutt to get the dagger back. But once she did, Fiona knew one thing for certain: She had made a mistake. Scorch was already investigating every corner of her house, sniffing things, chewing things, knocking things over just because. He had the attention span of a drunk squirrel and the morals of a highway robber. But… She watched as he scrambled onto the counter, knocking over a stack of papers in the process. He was clearly proud of himself, tail wiggling, tongue sticking out as he surveyed his domain. Fiona sighed. “You’re going to burn this town down someday, aren’t you?” Scorch burped out a tiny ember. “Gods help me.” And just like that, the town’s biggest problem became Fiona’s personal headache.     Bring Scorch Home—If You Dare! Can’t get enough of this tiny troublemaker? Lucky for you, Paws, Claws, and Dragon Flaws is available as stunning artwork on a variety of products! Whether you want to cozy up with a tapestry, challenge yourself with a puzzle, or send some fiery charm in a greeting card, Scorch is ready to invade your space. 🔥 Tapestry – Turn any wall into a dragon’s lair. 🎨 Canvas Print – High-quality artwork, perfect for fantasy lovers. 🧩 Puzzle – Because wrangling a dragon should be a challenge. 💌 Greeting Card – Share some mythical mischief with friends. 👜 Tote Bag – Carry your essentials with a bit of dragon sass. Grab your favorite, or collect them all—just be prepared for a little chaos. 😉

par Bill Tiepelman

Lost in a World Too Big

The first thing Fizzlebop noticed upon hatching was that the world was entirely too loud, too bright, and too full of things that did not immediately cater to his needs. A terrible injustice, really. He blinked his enormous blue eyes, stretching his stubby wings with an exasperated sigh. The nest was empty. His siblings had hatched before him, leaving behind only cracked eggshells and a lingering warmth. How typical. They never waited for him. "Ugh," he muttered, dragging his tiny tail across the soft moss. "Abandoned at birth. Tragic." Fizzlebop attempted to stand, only to topple forward, his little claws scrabbling against the ground. "Oh yes, very majestic. Future ruler of the skies, right here," he grumbled, rolling onto his back. "Might as well leave me here to perish." The sky above him was a swirl of pastels, stars twinkling like they had something to be smug about. "Don't just sit there looking all mysterious," he huffed at them. "Help me!" The stars, as expected, did not assist. With a great effort, he managed to sit upright, his wings flaring dramatically for balance. He squinted into the distance, where flickering firelight suggested the rest of his nestmates were already feasting with their mother. "Of course they started without me," he muttered. "Because why wouldn't they?" Then, just to test if life was truly out to get him, Fizzlebop attempted to take a single confident step forward. His foot met a particularly devious rock, and he promptly face-planted. "Oh, I see how it is," he growled, flopping onto his side. "Fine. I'll just stay here. Alone. Forever. Probably get eaten by something big and toothy." Something rustled nearby. Fizzlebop froze. Slowly, carefully, he turned his head—only to come face to face with a fox. A very hungry-looking fox. The fox tilted its head, clearly confused by the sight of a baby dragon glaring up at it with an expression of profound irritation. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, overgrown rodent," he said, voice full of bratty confidence. "I am a dragon. A creature of legend. A force of nature." He puffed up his chest. "I will breathe fire upon you." Silence. The fox remained unimpressed. Fizzlebop inhaled deeply, ready to unleash his terrifying flame… and promptly sneezed. A pathetic little spark fizzled into the air. The fox blinked. Fizzlebop blinked. Then, with a sigh, he flopped onto his back and groaned. "Fine. Just eat me and get it over with." Instead of attacking, the fox sniffed him once, let out an unimpressed huff, and trotted away. "Yeah, that's right," Fizzlebop called after it. "Run, coward!" He lay there for a moment longer before muttering, "I didn't want to be eaten anyway." Then, grumbling to himself, he got back onto his feet and stomped toward the firelight, ready to make a dramatic entrance and demand his rightful place at the feast. Because if he was going to suffer in this unfair world, the least he could do was make everyone else suffer with him.     Fizzlebop marched—well, wobbled—toward the glow of the firelight, muttering under his breath about betrayal, neglect, and the sheer injustice of being the last to hatch. His tiny claws crunched against the frost-covered ground, his tail flicking dramatically with each exaggerated step. “Oh yes, just leave the baby behind,” he grumbled. “Forget about poor, defenseless Fizzlebop. Not like I could have been eaten or anything.” He paused and shuddered. “By a fox. A fox, of all things.” The campfire flickered ahead, surrounded by his siblings, who were rolling around in a pile of meat scraps like the uncultured beasts they were. Their mother, a great silver dragon with molten gold eyes, lay nearby, preening her wings, looking—for lack of a better word—smug. Fizzlebop narrowed his eyes. They had noticed his absence. They just hadn’t cared. Well. That would not stand. He inhaled deeply, summoning every ounce of injustice and rage within his tiny frame, and let out a battle cry: “HOW DARE YOU.” The entire nest froze. His siblings blinked at him, meat dangling from their stupid little jaws. His mother arched an elegant brow. Fizzlebop stomped forward. “Do you have ANY idea what I have been through?” he demanded, wings flaring. “Do you know the STRUGGLES I have faced?” Silence. Fizzlebop did not care. He was going to tell them anyway. “First of all, I was abandoned,” he declared. “Cast out, left to suffer, forced to hatch in solitude like some tragic hero in a forgotten legend.” He placed a claw against his chest, looking to the heavens. “And then! As if that weren’t bad enough—” His mother exhaled loudly through her nose. “Fizzlebop, you hatched twenty minutes late.” Fizzlebop gasped. “Twenty minutes? Oh, I see. So I should just be grateful that my own family left me to perish in the cruel, unfeeling wilds?!” His mother stared at him. His siblings stared at him. One of them, a chubby dragon named Soot, licked his eyeball. Fizzlebop groaned. “You absolute buffoons.” He marched straight to the pile of meat, sat his tiny, frostbitten rear down, and grabbed the largest scrap he could find. “You’re all terrible, and I hate you,” he declared before stuffing his face. His mother sighed and stretched her wings. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Fizzlebop waved a dismissive claw. “Yes, yes, I’m adorable, I’m a delight, I’m a gift to this family.” He took another bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But also, you should all suffer for your crimes.” His mother huffed a plume of smoke, which he chose to interpret as deep shame and regret. His belly now full, Fizzlebop curled into the warm pile of his siblings, who accepted his presence with the kind of easygoing obliviousness only dragons (and very stupid people) could manage. And as he drifted off to sleep, his mother’s tail curling around them for warmth, Fizzlebop allowed himself a tiny, satisfied smirk. For all his righteous suffering… being part of a family wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Probably.     Take Fizzlebop Home! Love Fizzlebop’s adorable mischief? Bring this tiny dragon into your life with stunning prints and merchandise! Whether you want to add some whimsical charm to your home or carry a piece of dragon-sized attitude with you, we’ve got you covered: 🖼️ Acrylic Prints – For a sleek, high-gloss way to showcase Fizzlebop’s expressive pout. 🎭 Tapestries – Transform any space into a fantasy realm with a larger-than-life baby dragon. 👜 Tote Bags – Carry your essentials in style, and let everyone know you're as dramatic as Fizzlebop. 💌 Greeting Cards – Send a message with maximum sarcasm and cuteness. Get yours now and let Fizzlebop bring his bratty charm into your world! 🔥🐉

par Bill Tiepelman

The Guardian and the Kitten: Housebound Adventures

It all started when Elara, self-proclaimed queen of the household and a 17-pound Maine Coon with the ego of a warlord, discovered something rather unacceptable in her territory. There, perched atop her sacred sunspot on the wooden floor, was an intruder. And not just any intruder—a scaly, winged, fire-breathing menace about the size of an overgrown hamster. "What the actual fluff is this?" Elara muttered, tail flicking. The dragon, barely the size of a teapot, looked up from where it was chewing on the corner of a leather-bound book. It cocked its tiny, spiky head and let out a small, smoke-filled hiccup. "Oh. A cat. How original." Enter Smauglet, the Tiny Terror Smauglet—yes, that was what he called himself, as if the name wasn’t a little too ambitious for something that could be drop-kicked into a laundry basket—stretched his wings, knocking over an expensive-looking vase in the process. The crash was immediate, the effect devastating. Elara's ears twitched. "Oh. You're one of those." Smauglet grinned, all sharp teeth and no remorse. "One of what?" "One of those 'small but chaotic' types. Like the human's Roomba. Or the squirrel I tried to eat last summer." Smauglet flicked his tail, knocking over a candle. "Listen, Furball Supreme, I may be small, but I am a dragon. I bring fire. I bring destruction. I bring—" Elara swatted him mid-monologue, sending him tumbling across the floor like a scaly dust bunny. The Human Intervenes (Uselessly, As Expected) Just as Smauglet was trying to recover what little dignity he had left, their mutual overlord—the Human—stumbled in, coffee in one hand, phone in the other. She blinked at the scene: fur, scales, and what looked suspiciously like a singed couch cushion. "Elara, what did you do?" Elara, insulted beyond reason, fluffed up. "Excuse me? You're blaming me?" Smauglet, the opportunistic little gremlin that he was, immediately switched gears. He flopped onto his back, wings splayed dramatically. "She attacked me! I was just sitting here, minding my own business, contemplating the fragility of human existence!" "Oh, screw you," Elara snapped. The Human groaned, rubbing her temple. "Look, I don’t know what fresh level of fantasy nonsense I just walked into, but can we please try not to burn the house down?" She pointed at Smauglet. "You, no fire. You," she turned to Elara, "no homicide." Both culprits stared at her. Elara sighed. "Fine." Smauglet smirked. "Fine." The Truce (Which Lasts a Whole Five Minutes) For about an hour, things were peaceful. Elara reclaimed her sunspot, and Smauglet curled up on a bookshelf, gnawing on the spine of The Art of War, which was honestly on-brand. The Human relaxed, wrongly assuming she had restored order. Then Smauglet made the mistake of flicking his tail into Elara’s face. What followed was a blur of claws, fire, and a level of screaming that probably put the neighbors on high alert. The Human sprinted back into the room, holding a fire extinguisher in one hand and a spray bottle in the other. "That’s it! New rule—no more medieval warfare in my living room!" Elara and Smauglet glared at each other, then at the Human. Elara sighed dramatically. "You ruin all my fun." Smauglet rolled onto his back. "I'm hungry." The Human groaned. "I am moving out." And thus, an uneasy alliance was formed. The dragon would keep his fire to himself (mostly), and Elara would tolerate his existence (barely). And the Human? She stocked up on fireproof furniture and accepted her fate. After all, when you live with a cat and a dragon, peace is just a myth.     Bring the Chaos Home Love the antics of Elara and Smauglet? Now you can bring their mischievous charm into your own space! Whether you're a fan of feisty felines, fiery dragons, or just enjoy a bit of magical mayhem, we've got something for you. 🔥 Wall Tapestry – Turn your room into a whimsical battleground of fur and flame. 🎨 Canvas Print – A high-quality masterpiece to showcase your love for mischief and magic. 🧩 Jigsaw Puzzle – Test your patience just like The Human does with these two chaos-makers. 👜 Tote Bag – Carry your essentials with the same confidence Elara carries her grudges. Click the links to grab your favorite, and let the legendary battle of cat vs. dragon live on in your home!

par Bill Tiepelman

The Elf and the Dragon's Meeting

Deep in the Enchanted Forest, where the toadstools were as large as wagon wheels and just as sturdy, an elf named Lila stumbled into a peculiar predicament. At only two hundred years old—a mere adolescent by elven standards—Lila was tasked with gathering herbs for the village apothecary. Of course, she'd immediately gotten distracted by the sight of an enormous glowing mushroom and decided it would make the perfect spot for a nap. Who could blame her? Sunlight filtered through the canopy in golden streams, and the forest smelled like fresh moss and adventure. Naturally, her basket of herbs was still empty. As she climbed the mushroom like a drunk squirrel—there were no stairs, after all—she muttered, “Why doesn’t anyone ever build steps for these oversized fungi? If we can enchant pots to stir themselves, we can install a railing or two!” Huffing and puffing, she finally reached the top and sprawled out across the mushroom's cap, arms spread wide. She closed her eyes, reveling in the forest's hum of life. And then she heard it. A raspy, gravelly voice said, “Excuse me, this is my mushroom.” Lila sat bolt upright, her heart pounding. Standing before her was a small dragon. Well, "small" was relative—it was about the size of a large dog, but with shimmering blue-green scales, wings that looked like they’d been stolen from a stained-glass window, and an expression that could only be described as unimpressed. “Your mushroom?” Lila asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Since when do dragons care about mushrooms?” “Since always,” the dragon said, puffing out its chest. “This mushroom is mine. I’ve been guarding it for weeks. Do you know how many squirrels try to pee on it daily? It’s a full-time job!” Lila stifled a laugh but failed miserably. “A dragon. Guarding a mushroom. What’s next? A goblin knitting scarves?” “Laugh all you want, elf,” the dragon snapped, its sapphire eyes narrowing. “This is no ordinary mushroom. It’s a Toadstool of Luminescence. Extremely rare. Extremely magical. And it doesn’t appreciate your sweaty elf butt all over it.” “Oh, forgive me, your Mushroom Majesty,” Lila said, standing up and mock-bowing. “I had no idea I was sitting on the throne of fungal greatness. Please, go ahead and—what do you even do with it? Eat it? Wear it? Propose marriage to it?” The dragon sighed, pinching the bridge of its snout with its claw, as if trying to ward off an impending headache. “Clearly, you’re too immature to understand the finer points of mycology.” “Clearly,” Lila replied with a smirk. “So, what happens now? Do we duel for the mushroom? I’m warning you—I’ve been in at least two tavern brawls, and I only lost one of them because someone threw a barstool at my face.” The dragon tilted its head, genuinely intrigued. “You’re... quite odd for an elf. Most of your kind would have apologized by now. Or tried to sell me herbal tea.” “I’m not most elves,” Lila said with a grin. “And you’re not most dragons. Most of them would’ve eaten me by now, not given me a lecture on mushroom conservation.” They stared at each other for a moment, the tension hanging in the air like an overripe peach. Then the dragon snorted. Not a fiery snort—more of a laughing one. “You’re funny,” it admitted grudgingly. “Annoying, but funny.” “Thanks,” Lila said. “So, what’s your name, oh mighty fungus protector?” “Torvik,” the dragon said, straightening up. “And yours, oh sweaty elf invader?” “Lila. Nice to meet you, Torvik. So, what does a dragon do for fun around here? Besides yelling at squirrels?” Torvik grinned, showing off a set of teeth that could probably shred steel. “Well, there is one thing. You’re good at climbing mushrooms, yes?” “I’m basically an expert now,” Lila said, gesturing grandly at the mushroom they were perched on. “Excellent. Because the next mushroom over has been taken over by a particularly nasty family of raccoons, and they’ve been stealing my food stash. Think you can help me scare them off?” Lila’s face lit up. “Oh, I thought you’d never ask. But fair warning—I’m terrible at being intimidating. I once tried to shoo a possum out of my garden and ended up giving it my lunch.” “Perfect,” Torvik said, his wings flaring dramatically. “This is going to be hilarious.” And so, the elf and the dragon set off on their first adventure together. There was laughter, chaos, and yes, a raccoon uprising that would go down in forest history as “The Great Mushroom Skirmish.” But that’s a tale for another time. For now, suffice it to say that Lila and Torvik found in each other something they hadn’t expected: a friend who appreciated the absurdity of life as much as they did. And maybe, just maybe, the Toadstool of Luminescence really was magical. Because if a snarky dragon and a sassy elf could share a mushroom without killing each other, anything was possible.     For those captivated by the whimsical charm of “The Elf and the Dragon’s Meeting,” you can bring this enchanting tale to life in your own space. From the radiant glow of the Toadstool of Luminescence to the playful banter of Lila and Torvik, these moments are now available as stunning art products: Tapestries: Transform any wall into a magical forest scene. Canvas Prints: Perfect for showcasing the intricate details of the dragon and the glowing forest. Puzzles: Piece together the magic and relive the story, one detail at a time. Stickers: Add a touch of whimsy to your daily life with these delightful designs. Whether you’re an adventurer at heart or simply a fan of the fantastical, these products allow you to carry a piece of the Enchanted Forest into your world. Explore more at our shop and let the magic inspire you.

par Bill Tiepelman

Les yeux d'azur du dragon céleste

Dans une galaxie pas très lointaine, sur une planète appelée Luminaris, un endroit qui ressemblait à une boule à facettes interstellaire sous acide, naquit un étrange bébé dragon. Son nom ? Glitterwing le Quatrième. Non pas parce qu'il y avait trois dragons avant lui (ce n'était pas le cas), mais parce que sa mère, la reine Frostmaw la Chatoyante, avait un don pour le drame et pensait que les nombres rendaient les choses royales. Glitterwing, cependant, avait un autre avis. Il préférait son surnom : Steve. La grande entrée de Steve La naissance de Steve n’a pas été un moment serein et mystique. Il est sorti de son œuf avec toute la grâce d’un écureuil sous l’effet de la caféine, agitant ses petits membres, ses écailles métalliques captant la lumière comme une boule à facettes en pleine crise existentielle. Ses premiers mots n’étaient pas non plus poétiques. Ils ressemblaient à quelque chose comme : « Pouah, cette lumière est horrible, et c’est quoi cette odeur ?! » Dès son apparition, Steve avait une caractéristique unique et flagrante : ses yeux incroyablement grands et d'un bleu saisissant. Alors que la plupart des dragons nouveau-nés ressemblaient à un mélange entre un chaton et une arme médiévale, Steve ressemblait à une peluche géante avec un problème d'attitude. Il est immédiatement devenu le centre d'attention du royaume des dragons, ce qui, comme vous pouvez l'imaginer, l'a agacé au plus haut point. « Est-ce qu'on peut tous arrêter de regarder comme si j'étais la dernière pâtisserie du buffet ? Je ne suis qu'un dragon, pas un feu d'artifice. » Destiné à la grandeur ? Non, juste faim. Les anciens du conseil des dragons, un groupe de reptiles anciens qui passaient la plupart de leur temps à se disputer pour savoir quel trésor était le plus brillant, déclarèrent que Steve était destiné à la grandeur. « Ses écailles scintillent comme les étoiles et ses yeux transpercent l'âme ! » proclamèrent-ils. Steve, cependant, avait d'autres plans. « Cool histoire, grand-père, mais est-ce que la grandeur vient avec des collations ? Parce que je meurs de faim. » Steve s'est rapidement forgé une réputation pour son esprit mordant et son appétit insatiable. Alors que la plupart des dragons de son âge s'entraînaient à cracher du feu, Steve perfectionnait l'art du commentaire sarcastique. « Oh, regarde, encore une compétition de cracheurs de feu. Quelle originalité. Pourquoi ne pas essayer quelque chose de nouveau, comme, je ne sais pas, une sieste compétitive ? » Les mésaventures commencent L'attitude sarcastique de Steve ne le rendit pas vraiment populaire auprès de ses pairs. Un dragonnet particulièrement jaloux, Blaze, le défia en duel. « Prépare-toi à affronter ton destin, Glitterwing ! » rugit Blaze. Steve ne broncha même pas. « D'accord, mais pouvons-nous programmer cela après le déjeuner ? J'ai des priorités. » Lorsque le duel eut finalement lieu, Steve gagna, non pas par la force, mais en faisant rire Blaze si fort qu'il tomba et roula dans un tas de boue. « Tu vois ? L'humour est la vraie arme », dit Steve, polissant ses griffes nonchalamment. Malgré ses réticences, la renommée de Steve grandit. Des aventuriers venus de contrées lointaines viennent voir le « Dragon Céleste » aux yeux de saphir. Steve trouve cela à la fois flatteur et épuisant. « Super, encore un groupe d'humains qui me pointent des bâtons et les appellent des « armes ». Quelqu'un peut-il au moins m'apporter un sandwich cette fois-ci ? » Le jour où Steve a sauvé le royaume (par accident) La mésaventure la plus célèbre de Steve s'est produite lorsqu'un royaume rival a envoyé un groupe de chevaliers pour voler les trésors des dragons. Pendant que les autres dragons se préparaient à la bataille, Steve était occupé à manger son poids en baies de lune. Les chevaliers ont pris d'assaut la grotte du dragon, pour trouver Steve allongé sur un tas d'or. « Oh, regardez, encore des boîtes de conserve. Qu'est-ce que vous voulez, les gars ? Des indications pour aller au McDragon's le plus proche ? » Les chevaliers, pensant que les yeux énormes et les écailles chatoyantes de Steve étaient une sorte d'avertissement divin, paniquèrent. L'un d'eux hurla : « C'est le dragon divin du destin ! » et s'enfuit. Les autres le suivirent, trébuchant les uns sur les autres dans leur hâte. Steve cligna des yeux, confus. « Attends, ça a marché ? Hein. Peut-être que je suis destiné à la grandeur. Ou peut-être qu'ils ne voulaient tout simplement pas avoir affaire à un dragon qui a l'air de ne pas avoir dormi depuis des semaines. » La légende perdure Aujourd'hui, Steve passe son temps à dormir sur son trésor (qui se compose principalement de pierres brillantes et d'armures abandonnées) et à lancer des remarques de plus en plus sarcastiques aux aventuriers curieux. Il est toujours le sujet de conversation du royaume, à son grand dam. « Je ne suis pas un héros », insiste-t-il. « Je suis juste un dragon qui se trouve être fabuleux. » Mais au fond, Steve apprécie l'attention qu'on lui porte, ne serait-ce qu'un peu. Après tout, qui ne voudrait pas être une icône scintillante avec des yeux azur perçants et un don pour faire mouiller les pantalons des chevaliers ? Ramenez Steve à la maison : des produits inspirés du dragon céleste Vous ne vous lassez pas du charme sarcastique et de l'éclat scintillant de Steve ? Vous pouvez désormais apporter un peu de sa magie céleste chez vous avec ces produits exclusifs : Tapisserie Dragon : ornez vos murs de la gloire rayonnante de Steve, parfaite pour transformer n'importe quelle pièce en un repaire mystique. Impression sur toile : une œuvre d'art de haute qualité mettant en valeur l'aura céleste de Steve, idéale pour les amateurs de dragons et les passionnés de fantaisie. Coussin : Installez-vous confortablement avec la présence enchanteresse de Steve, un ajout fantaisiste à votre espace de vie. Puzzle Dragon : assemblez les caractéristiques fascinantes de Steve avec ce puzzle amusant et stimulant, parfait pour les soirées tranquilles ou les rassemblements d'amateurs de dragons. Adoptez la magie du dragon céleste et laissez l’héritage de Steve illuminer votre vie, une échelle étincelante à la fois.

par Bill Tiepelman

Balances d'or et contes hilarants

Le feu crépitait dans l'âtre, sa lumière projetant des ombres vacillantes sur l'immense bibliothèque. Au plus profond des anciens murs de pierre du donjon d'Elarion, au milieu d'étagères qui gémissaient sous le poids d'innombrables livres, était assise Lena, une fille de dix étés aux yeux trop sages pour son âge. Ses boucles dorées semblaient capter et retenir la lumière du feu, encadrant son visage alors qu'elle fixait intensément la petite créature nichée sur ses genoux. Le dragonnet, pas plus gros qu'un chat domestique, brillait d'un éclat qui rivalisait avec les plus belles pièces d'or du trésor de son père. Ses écailles reflétaient les teintes chaudes des flammes, et ses ailes délicates, translucides comme de la gaze, tremblaient faiblement lorsqu'il respirait. La créature gazouillait doucement, sa voix était un trille aigu et mélodieux qui envoyait des frissons de joie à Lena. Elle caressa doucement le dos du dragon, s'émerveillant de la texture chaude et lisse de ses écailles. Le début de la magie Deux semaines plus tôt, Lena avait découvert l'œuf. Caché dans le creux d'un vieux chêne au plus profond de la Forêt interdite, il émettait une lumière surnaturelle. Malgré les récits de dangers qui rôdaient dans la forêt, Lena n'avait pas pu résister à son appel. Au moment où ses doigts effleurèrent sa surface, elle sentit une connexion qu'elle ne pouvait expliquer. Elle l'avait enveloppé dans sa cape et l'avait ramené chez elle, sachant instinctivement que sa vie était sur le point de changer pour toujours. Lorsque l'œuf avait éclos sous la lueur de la pleine lune, Lena avait haleté d'émerveillement en voyant le petit dragon émerger, déployant ses ailes humides. Il l'avait regardée avec des yeux d'or fondu, et à cet instant, un lien indestructible s'était formé. Le dragonnet, qu'elle avait appelé Auriel, semblait comprendre chacune de ses pensées, et elle avait découvert qu'elle pouvait comprendre ses étranges gazouillis mélodieux. Un monde en mutation Le monde de Lena était fait de structures et d'attentes. En tant que fille du Seigneur Vareth, elle était destinée à une vie d'alliances politiques et de mariages stratégiques. Mais avec Auriel dans sa vie, les limites de son chemin prédéterminé commencèrent à s'effondrer. Le dragonnet était plus qu'un compagnon ; c'était une étincelle de rébellion, un symbole d'un monde au-delà du devoir et de la bienséance. Mais la magie, comme sa mère le lui rappelait souvent, était une chose dangereuse. Elle attirait les curieux, les avides et les cruels. Lena avait déjà remarqué des changements dans le donjon. Les serviteurs chuchotaient dans les coins, leurs yeux se tournant vers elle quand ils pensaient qu'elle ne regardait pas. Les conseillers de son père étaient devenus plus vigilants, leurs regards s'attardant sur elle quand elle passait. Elle savait que ce n'était qu'une question de temps avant que quelqu'un n'essaie de lui prendre Auriel. La tempête éclate La nuit où les soldats arrivèrent, Lena était prête. Elle avait caché Auriel dans une sacoche doublée de laine douce et l'avait jetée sur son épaule. Les faibles cris du dragonnet étaient étouffés, mais elle pouvait sentir sa peur à travers leur lien. Elle se glissa dans les ombres du donjon, le cœur battant à tout rompre tandis qu'elle échappait aux gardes qui écumaient les couloirs. La trahison avait été rapide et inévitable ; son père, désespéré de maintenir ses fragiles alliances, avait accepté de la livrer à l'Ordre de Sanctis, une faction qui cherchait à contrôler toutes les créatures magiques. Alors qu'elle s'enfuyait dans les bois, les bruits de poursuite résonnèrent derrière elle. Auriel, sentant sa détresse, se mit à fredonner, une mélodie grave et résonnante qui semblait vibrer dans sa poitrine. Les arbres autour d'elle scintillaient faiblement, leurs feuilles captant une lueur surnaturelle. Un souvenir refit surface, l'un des contes de sa nourrice sur le lien ancien entre les dragons et le monde naturel. Peut-être, pensa Lena, que la magie d'Auriel pourrait les sauver. Un réveil féroce S'arrêtant dans une clairière éclairée par la lune, Lena déposa doucement le sac sur le sol et l'ouvrit. Auriel sortit en rampant, ses ailes s'étirant largement tandis qu'il gazouillait avec urgence. Les écailles du dragonnet commencèrent à briller, de plus en plus fort, jusqu'à ce que la clairière soit baignée de lumière dorée. Lena sentit une poussée de puissance, un sentiment écrasant d'unité avec le monde qui l'entourait. Les soldats qui la poursuivaient firent irruption dans la clairière, mais s'arrêtèrent net, leurs yeux s'écarquillant de peur et de crainte. Auriel s'éleva dans les airs, ses ailes battant sans interruption. Un rugissement profond et résonnant emplit la clairière, et les soldats tombèrent à genoux, protégeant leurs yeux de l'éclat du dragon. Lena se tenait droite, sa peur disparaissant lorsqu'elle réalisa la vérité : Auriel n'était pas seulement un compagnon ; c'était son protecteur, son partenaire et sa destinée. Ensemble, ils étaient plus puissants qu'elle ne l'aurait jamais imaginé. Un nouveau départ Lorsque la lumière s'éteignit, les soldats avaient disparu, se retirant dans l'obscurité. Lena prit Auriel dans ses bras, son cœur gonflé de gratitude et de détermination. Le chemin à parcourir était incertain, mais une chose était claire : elle ne reviendrait jamais à la vie qu'elle avait laissée derrière elle. Avec Auriel à ses côtés, elle se forgerait un nouvel avenir, construit non pas sur le devoir et les attentes, mais sur le courage et la liberté. Alors qu'elle pénétrait dans l'ombre des Bois Interdits, le dragonnet gazouillait doucement, ses yeux dorés brillant de confiance. Lena sourit, ses boucles dorées captant la lumière de la lune, et ensemble, elles disparurent dans la nuit, leur histoire ne faisant que commencer. Explorez davantage : cette œuvre d'art magique, intitulée « Écailles d'or et contes rieurs », fait désormais partie de nos archives d'images . Des impressions, des téléchargements et des options de licence sont disponibles pour ceux qui sont captivés par le lien enchanteur entre l'enfant et le dragon. Laissez cette pièce ajouter une touche d'émerveillement à votre collection !

par Bill Tiepelman

Le petit dragon du feu du cœur

Dans une jungle luxuriante où l'air était chargé de l'odeur des fleurs en fleurs et des ragots des perroquets bavards, il existait un dragon nommé Ember. Or, Ember n'était pas un dragon ordinaire. Pour commencer, elle avait à peine la taille d'un chat domestique et ses flammes ne brûleraient pas une guimauve. Mais ce qui manquait à Ember en taille et en puissance de feu, elle le compensait largement en personnalité. Elle était fougueuse, fabuleuse et, disons simplement, un peu trop investie dans la vie amoureuse de tout le monde. Ember n'était pas une habitante ordinaire de la jungle : elle était la sous-traitante de Cupidon. Oui, ce Cupidon. Le bébé potelé avec le nœud ? Il s'avère qu'il téléphonait depuis des siècles, et Ember, avec ses ailes scintillantes et son collier en forme de cœur rouge fluo, était celle qui maintenait l'industrie de la romance à flot. « L'amour n'arrive pas par hasard », disait Ember, généralement en écoutant aux portes du premier rendez-vous gênant de quelqu'un. « Il faut un peu de... zhuzh. » Un jour, alors que la Saint-Valentin approchait, Ember était plus occupée que jamais. La jungle était en plein chaos. Les toucans se disputaient pour savoir à qui revenait de rapporter à la maison les baies en forme de cœur, deux jaguars étaient en guerre froide à cause de tâches de toilettage mal placées, et les paresseux prenaient la romance « à combustion lente » bien trop au pied de la lettre. En un mot, c'était épuisant. Mais Ember, avec son éthique de travail sans pareille et son sens de l'humour pétillant, était prête à exercer sa magie. Premier arrêt : les toucans. Perchée sur une vigne, Ember écoutait leur échange mélodramatique. « Tu ne m’apprécies jamais ! » cria la femelle. « Je t'ai littéralement construit un nid ! » hurla le mâle. Ember roula ses énormes yeux de dragon et murmura : « C’est pour ça que je bois… du nectar. » D’un claquement de queue, elle fit apparaître une cascade de fleurs en forme de cœur qui tombèrent sur leur nid. Les toucans se figèrent, stupéfaits. « Voilà. De l’amour. Maintenant, tais-toi et profites-en », aboya Ember avant de s’enfuir, laissant derrière elle une traînée de paillettes. Son projet suivant impliquait un couple de paresseux enfermés dans une situation de « vont-ils/ne vont-ils pas » depuis une décennie. « Honnêtement, vous êtes tous les deux les Ross et Rachel de cette jungle », gémit Ember, ses griffes claquant contre ses écailles alors qu'elle les regardait échanger leurs regards habituels au ralenti. « Cela nécessite des mesures drastiques. » Elle souffla un jet de fumée scintillante qui tourbillonna autour des deux. Soudain, le paresseux mâle cligna des yeux, tendit une griffe et cueillit une fleur d'hibiscus pour sa bien-aimée. La femelle haleta - un halètement lent et dramatique, bien sûr - et l'accepta. Ember essuya une larme de son œil. « Enfin. J'étais sur le point de demander une retraite anticipée », plaisanta-t-elle. Mais le clou des aventures de Valentine d'Ember fut sa rencontre avec Greg, le romantique le plus désespéré qu'elle ait jamais rencontré. Greg était un botaniste avec la terrible habitude d'écrire des poèmes si embarrassants que même les vignes de la jungle en avaient peur. Son dernier chef-d'œuvre était dédié à Melissa, la femme de ses rêves, qui ignorait totalement son existence. « Greg », dit Ember en atterrissant sur son bureau avec un geste théâtral. « Il faut qu'on parle. » Surpris, Greg cligna des yeux en regardant le petit dragon, ne sachant pas s'il avait trop travaillé ou si les vapeurs de la jungle l'atteignaient enfin. Ember, qui ne perdait jamais de temps, attrapa son carnet et commença à éditer son dernier poème. « Ça ? On dirait que tu passes une audition pour un rôle de harceleur. On vise le charme, pas la terreur. » D'un mouvement de queue, elle ajouta juste la bonne touche de romantisme : quelques métaphores sur le clair de lune, un soupçon de vulnérabilité et, bien sûr, une phrase enjouée sur le rire de Melissa. Lorsque Melissa reçut la note fraîchement polie, ses joues devinrent plus roses que les orchidées que Greg lui avait envoyées. En quelques heures, Greg avait un rendez-vous et Ember avait un air suffisant sur le visage. « Un autre jour, un autre cœur sauvé de la médiocrité », déclara-t-elle en s'envolant, laissant Greg s'émerveiller de sa chance soudaine. Bien sûr, tout ne s’est pas passé comme prévu. Ember avait le don d’être un peu trop honnête. Comme la fois où elle a dit à un couple de flamants roses que leur danse nuptiale synchronisée était « moins romantique et plus embarrassante qu’un concours de talents de collège ». Ou quand elle a interrompu le cri d’accouplement d’une rainette pour lui suggérer « d’essayer un ton plus bas à moins qu’il ne veuille ressembler à une charnière de porte qui grince ». Mais malgré son impertinence, Ember avait un taux de réussite de 100 %. Après tout, sa devise était simple : « L’amour est désordonné, ridicule et en vaut vraiment la peine – un peu comme moi. » Alors que le soleil se couchait le jour de la Saint-Valentin, Ember était perchée sur un rocher couvert de mousse, observant la jungle bourdonner d’un amour retrouvé. Les toucans se faisaient des câlins, les paresseux se tenaient la main (lentement) et Greg planifiait nerveusement son deuxième rendez-vous. Ember étendit ses ailes scintillantes et soupira, satisfaite. « Cupidon peut prendre tout le crédit », dit-elle avec un sourire narquois. « Mais soyons honnêtes : sans moi, l’amour serait condamné. » Et ainsi, la légende du Petit Dragon du Cœur de Feu a perduré. Certains disent que si jamais vous ressentez une soudaine bouffée de chaleur et sentez une légère odeur de fumée scintillante, c'est Ember, qui veille à ce que l'amour reste un peu sauvage, un peu merveilleux et juste ce qu'il faut de chaotique. Faites entrer « Le Petit Dragon du Feu » dans votre maison Si le charme fougueux et les facéties impertinentes d'Ember ont conquis votre cœur, vous pouvez apporter sa magie dans votre maison ! Célébrez la fantaisie et l'émerveillement de cette légende de la Saint-Valentin avec des produits époustouflants et de haute qualité : Tapisserie : Transformez votre espace avec cette œuvre d'art murale enchanteresse, mettant en vedette les teintes rayonnantes et les détails complexes d'Ember dans sa jungle magique. Impression sur toile : Pièce maîtresse parfaite pour n'importe quelle pièce, cette toile capture chaque échelle chatoyante et chaque lueur en forme de cœur du monde d'Ember. Coussin décoratif : ajoutez une touche d'audace et de confort à votre décor avec l'image vibrante d'Ember imprimée sur un coussin doux et confortable. Pochette : Gardez vos essentiels organisés avec cette pochette portable et pratique ornée de l'esprit ludique d'Ember. Découvrez la collection complète et laissez Ember illuminer votre maison, une étincelle à la fois ! Cliquez ici pour magasiner maintenant et célébrer la saison de l'amour avec un peu de magie de dragon.

par Bill Tiepelman

Gardien du feu félin

L'allée était faiblement éclairée, les pavés étaient glissants à cause de la pluie du soir. Une faible lueur dorée jaillissait de l'horizon, attrapant les ombres qui rampaient le long des murs. C'est ici, dans ce coin oublié de la ville, que la légende a commencé. On raconte que la Gardienne du Feu se présente sous de nombreuses formes. Dans certains contes, elle se présente sous la forme d'un personnage encapuchonné, dans d'autres, sous celle d'un guerrier. Mais personne n'aurait jamais imaginé qu'elle prendrait la forme d'un chat tigré. Pourtant, elle était là, les pattes silencieuses, la queue se balançant comme un pendule de l'inévitabilité, portant dans ses mâchoires un petit dragon qui se tortillait. Le dragon sifflait et crachait, ses ailes luisaient faiblement comme si des braises fumantes étaient emprisonnées à l'intérieur. Des flammes jaillissaient de ses narines, brûlant les moustaches du prédateur félin déterminé. De l’autre côté de la ville, la taverne bourdonnait des rires tapageurs habituels. L’hydromel s’écoulait sur les tables en bois et l’air empestait la bière, la sueur et les choix douteux. Dans un coin, un vieil homme avec une barbe assez longue pour tricoter un pull commença son récit. « Vous avez entendu l’histoire du Gardien du Feu, hein ? » beugla-t-il en claquant sa tasse avec un flair dramatique. La foule se tut, intriguée malgré elle. « Eh bien, laissez-moi vous dire que ce n’est pas juste une histoire. Le Gardien du Feu marche parmi nous ce soir ! » « Parmi nous ? » s'écria une voix sceptique. « Quoi, dans l'allée avec les rats ? Peut-être qu'il est là-bas en train de leur apprendre à jongler avec le feu. » Le rire fut rapide et impitoyable. « Moque-toi de moi si tu veux ! » s'exclama le vieil homme. « Mais quand le Gardien du Feu viendra, tu regretteras de ne pas avoir fermé ta gueule. Cette créature est la gardienne de l'équilibre entre les royaumes. Elle ne se contente pas de chasser les dragons ; elle les choisit. Et si elle fait le mauvais choix… » Il s'arrêta, laissant le silence s'épaissir comme de la sauce. Pendant ce temps, le chat tigré avançait dans l'allée avec une confiance tranquille qui pourrait rendre un lion jaloux. Le dragon, désormais réduit à des couinements pitoyables, agitait ses minuscules griffes comme s'il espérait un miracle. « Oh, arrête de te tortiller », marmonna le chat autour du cou du dragon, sa voix dégoulinant du genre d'exaspération réservée aux baby-sitters et aux héros réticents. « Tu n'es pas le premier lézard épicé auquel j'ai affaire, et tu ne seras pas le dernier. » Le dragon siffla d'un air de défi. « Tu vas le regretter, félin ! Je suis Pyros le Puissant, Fléau des Skylands ! Mes flammes vont... » « Bla, bla, bla. Puissant ceci, fléau cela », interrompit le chat en levant les yeux au ciel. « Vous répétez tous ces lignes ou quelque chose comme ça ? Honnêtement, j'ai rencontré des rats des ruelles qui avaient une meilleure estime d'eux-mêmes. » Les yeux brillants du dragon se rétrécirent. « Si tu te moques de moi, c'est à tes risques et périls ! Sais-tu à qui tu as affaire ? » « Oh, je sais exactement à qui je m'en prends, ronronna-t-elle. Un dragon si petit qu'il pourrait servir de jouet à mâcher. Maintenant, à moins que tu ne veuilles être la chute de ma prochaine histoire de chasse, je te suggère de te taire. » De retour à la taverne, la voix du vieil homme se fit plus douce. « La légende dit que la tâche du Gardien du Feu ne consiste pas seulement à chasser les dragons. Non, c'est de maintenir l'équilibre. Trop de dragons, et le monde brûle. Trop peu, et la magie s'éteint. Le Gardien du Feu décide qui vit et qui… » Il passa un doigt sur sa gorge pour faire de l'effet, faisant un « schick » dramatique qui fit frissonner la pièce. « Vous dites que c'est un chat qui prend ces décisions ? » s'est moqué quelqu'un. « Et ensuite, des souris qui dirigent le Trésor ? » À cet instant, la porte de la taverne s’ouvrit en grinçant et la pièce devint silencieuse. Une jeune femme entra, trempée par la pluie. Elle portait une cape vert foncé dont les bords étaient brûlés comme si elle avait traversé le feu. « Le Gardien du Feu a choisi », dit-elle simplement, d’une voix douce mais autoritaire. « Et l’équilibre sera rétabli ce soir. » Le vieil homme sourit triomphalement. « Tu vois ? Je te l’avais dit ! » Dans l'allée, le chat avait atteint sa destination : un portail lumineux qui scintillait comme de l'or fondu. Elle laissa tomber le dragon sans cérémonie sur le seuil. « Très bien, Pyros, voilà ce qui se passe », dit-elle en s'étirant paresseusement. « Tu traverses ce portail, tu te comportes bien, et peut-être que je n'aurai plus à te poursuivre. Compris ? » Le dragon hésita. « Et si je ne le fais pas ? » Les yeux du chat tigré brillaient de malice. « Ensuite, je trouve un oreiller bien douillet et tu deviens le cache-cou le plus chic du monde. » Pyros déglutit, sa bravade s'éteignit. « Très bien », marmonna-t-il en battant des ailes et en disparaissant dans le portail. La lumière vacilla, puis s'éteignit, laissant la ruelle à nouveau silencieuse. La chatte se retourna, sa queue frémissante et elle disparut dans l'ombre. « Un autre jour, un autre dragon », songea-t-elle. « Et on appelle les chiens les meilleurs amis de l'homme. » De retour à la taverne, la jeune femme reprit la parole. « Le Gardien du Feu a rempli son devoir. Ce soir, l’équilibre reste intact. Demain ? Qui sait. » Elle remonta sa capuche, se retourna et partit sans un mot. Le vieil homme vida sa chope avec un soupir satisfait. « Alors, qui m'offre une autre tournée ? » demanda-t-il. La salle éclata de rire, la tension disparut – pour le moment. Et ainsi, la légende du Gardien du Feu a perduré, murmurée dans les ruelles, chantée dans les tavernes et redoutée par les dragons du monde entier. Quant au chat tigré ? Il était déjà parti pour sa prochaine aventure, prouvant une fois de plus que les plus petites créatures ont souvent les plus grands rôles à jouer. Découvrez l'histoire derrière l'œuvre : cette image captivante, intitulée « Feline Firekeeper » , est disponible pour les impressions, les téléchargements et les licences. Découvrez cette œuvre et d'autres œuvres époustouflantes dans nos archives. Cliquez ici pour voir dans les archives non focalisées .

par Bill Tiepelman

La fête éblouissante du Nouvel An de Baby Dragon

Fête du Nouvel An sauvage de Baby Dragon Tout a commencé comme une cérémonie de classe. La table était dressée avec du champagne fin, des bougies dorées scintillaient doucement et une quantité odieuse de paillettes recouvrait chaque surface. Les invités en smoking et en robes scintillantes se mêlaient sous des guirlandes de lumières féeriques, discutaient poliment, trinquaient à l'année à venir. Mais ensuite, se dandinant de Dieu sait où, est arrivé le bébé dragon. Petit mais rayonnant, ses écailles scintillaient de toutes les couleurs imaginables, comme s'il s'était roulé dans un tas de boules à facettes écrasées. Il s'est approché de la table en trébuchant, a renversé une flûte de champagne avec sa queue et a crié assez fort pour faire taire la salle. La petite bête a ensuite établi un contact visuel avec l'hôte, a pris un cierge magique et a gazouillé comme pour dire : « C'est ma fête maintenant. » Le dragon n'était pas vraiment invité, mais personne n'eut le courage de le chasser. Au lieu de cela, ils le regardèrent avec un amusement stupéfait s'emparer de la bouteille de champagne la plus proche, faire sauter le bouchon avec ses petites griffes et l'engloutir comme un étudiant de fraternité à l'happy hour. Des bulles coulaient sur son menton tandis qu'il rotait une petite bouffée de fumée, brûlant rapidement une guirlande à proximité. « Qui lui a donné de l’alcool ? » siffla quelqu’un, mais il était trop tard. Le dragon avait repéré le plateau de fromages. Avec une rapidité effrayante pour une si petite créature, il grimpa sur la table, renversant les bougies et dispersant des paillettes dans l'air. Il renifla le brie, toucha le gouda, puis mordit directement dans la meule de camembert importée de luxe de l'hôte. La salle haleta collectivement, mais le dragon s'en fichait : il avait du fromage et il allait se déchaîner. Le bébé dragon était désormais un spectacle à part entière. Il se tenait sur la table, tenant un cierge magique dans une griffe et un biscuit non mangé dans l'autre, comme s'il s'agissait d'une sorte de mascotte médiévale ivre. Quelqu'un a mis la musique à fond et le dragon a commencé à se déhancher, sa queue claquant sans discernement sur les décorations, les chaises et la tour à champagne d'une pauvre âme. « Cette chose est une menace ! » s’écria l’hôte, tentant de chasser le dragon de la table avec un plateau de service. Le dragon, se sentant mis au défi, émit un petit rugissement – ​​plutôt un couinement, en fait – mais cela fut suffisant pour faire repenser à l’hôte ses choix de vie et l’obliger à s’asseoir tranquillement dans un coin avec une boisson fraîche. À l'approche de minuit, le bébé dragon était inarrêtable. Ses griffes étaient collantes de champagne et de sauce mystérieuse, et ses ailes étaient saupoudrées de crackers écrasés. Il avait en quelque sorte acquis un chapeau de fête, perché de travers sur sa tête, et tenait sa cour au milieu de la piste de danse. Les invités avaient renoncé à leur dignité et avaient rejoint la petite bête dans ce qui ne pouvait être décrit que comme une ligne de conga ivre. Des paillettes pleuvaient du plafond alors que le compte à rebours commençait. « DIX ! NEUF ! HUIT ! » rugit la foule. Le dragon, perché sur les épaules de quelqu'un, battit ses petites ailes avec excitation, manquant de peu de renverser la foule. « SEPT ! SIX ! CINQ ! » Il lança la bougie dans les airs, où elle atterrit dans un bol de punch, pétillant de façon spectaculaire. « QUATRE ! TROIS ! DEUX ! » Le dragon poussa un cri de triomphe, soufflant une petite bouffée de feu qui enflamma une serviette abandonnée. Personne ne s'en souciait. « UN ! BONNE ANNÉE ! » La salle explosa d'acclamations, de câlins et d'une cacophonie de célébrations arrosées. Le bébé dragon, maintenant complètement défoncé, se recroquevilla dans un tas de confettis et de bouteilles de champagne vides, ronflant doucement. Son chapeau de fête avait glissé sur un œil et ses petites griffes agrippaient un morceau de brie non mangé comme s'il s'agissait du trésor le plus précieux du monde. Alors que la soirée touchait à sa fin et que les invités rentraient chez eux, l'hôte observa les décombres de leur fête autrefois impeccable. « Qui diable a amené le dragon ? » marmonnèrent-ils en ramassant un cadeau de fête brûlé. Le dragon renifla dans son sommeil, laissant échapper une dernière bouffée de fumée. Personne ne répondit. Après tout, cela n'avait aucune importance. Ce petit monstre scintillant avait organisé la meilleure fête dont on puisse se souvenir. En savoir plus : Collection Tiny Scales & Tails Si vous avez aimé le chaos fantaisiste de notre bébé dragon du Nouvel An, ne manquez pas votre chance d'apporter ce moment magique dans votre espace ! Cette image enchanteresse est disponible pour les impressions, les téléchargements et les licences . Décorez vos murs, suscitez des conversations ou offrez-la à un autre amateur de fantaisie : cette pièce est parfaite pour célébrer la magie et la malice en toute saison.

par Bill Tiepelman

Niché dans l'étreinte d'un arc-en-ciel

L'orage était passé depuis des heures, mais la forêt tremblait toujours dans son sillage. Une épaisse brume enveloppait les vieux chênes et l'air portait l'odeur terreuse de la mousse trempée par la pluie. Elara resserra sa capuche, le tissu cramoisi formant une entaille vive sur les verts et les bruns atténués. La carte qu'elle tenait à la main était presque illisible à présent, son encre maculée par la pluie incessante. Pourtant, elle continua. Elle n'avait pas le choix. « Un cœur de feu dort sous l'arc-en-ciel », avait murmuré la vieille femme, sa voix crépitant comme des feuilles sèches. Ce n'était pas une métaphore, Elara le savait. Pas dans ce pays de mythes murmurés et de chemins interdits. Ce qui l'attendait pouvait sauver son frère, ou les condamner tous les deux. Elle marchait avec précaution sur des racines noueuses, ses bottes s’enfonçant dans la terre humide. La forêt était anormalement calme. Pas de cris d’oiseaux, pas de bruissement de feuilles, seulement un léger filet d’eau qui s’égouttait des branches. Et puis elle l’aperçut – un léger scintillement au loin, des couleurs tourbillonnant comme de l’huile sur l’eau. Son pouls s’accéléra. « Le berceau de l'arc-en-ciel », murmura-t-elle, son souffle s'embuant dans l'air frais. La carte était oubliée, froissée dans son poing alors qu'elle avançait. La lumière devenait plus forte, pulsant avec un rythme presque hypnotique. Ce n'était pas seulement un arc-en-ciel. C'était vivant. Le nid du dragon Elara émergea dans une clairière et elle retint son souffle. L'arc-en-ciel n'était pas dans le ciel. Il reposait sur le sol, sa lumière irisée projetant une lueur éthérée. En son centre se trouvait un nid tissé, complexe et incroyablement délicat. Et dans le nid, nichée parmi les teintes tourbillonnantes, se trouvait une créature dont elle n'avait entendu parler que dans les légendes. Le dragonnet n'était pas plus grand qu'un chat domestique, ses écailles d'un rose lumineux scintillaient à chaque mouvement de sa petite poitrine. Ses ailes, translucides et veinées comme celles d'un papillon, étaient soigneusement repliées contre ses flancs. Il dormait, inconscient de sa présence, sa queue enroulée autour d'elle-même dans une spirale parfaite. Le cœur d'Elara s'emballa. C'était bien ça, le Cœur de Feu. Mais ce n'était pas une pierre précieuse ou un trésor. C'était une créature vivante et respirante. Elle sentit un pincement de culpabilité en attrapant la petite fiole de verre glissée dans sa ceinture. La teinture qu'elle contenait calmerait le dragonnet suffisamment longtemps pour qu'elle puisse l'emporter hors de la forêt. Assez longtemps pour l'échanger contre le remède dont son frère avait si désespérément besoin. Alors qu'elle débouchait la fiole, un grondement sourd résonna dans la clairière. Elara se figea. L'air devint lourd, chargé d'une énergie invisible. Lentement, elle se retourna. Le gardien se réveille Elle émergea de l'ombre comme un cauchemar incarné. La mère dragon était massive, ses écailles d'un rose plus foncé et plus féroce, à la limite du cramoisi. Ses yeux, d'or fondu, se fixèrent sur Elara avec une intensité terrifiante. De la fumée s'échappait de ses narines et ses griffes s'enfonçaient dans la terre alors qu'elle avançait. « Doucement », murmura Elara, la voix tremblante. Elle laissa tomber la fiole et leva les mains, geste universel de reddition. « Je ne veux pas lui faire de mal. Je veux juste… » Le dragon rugit, un son qui fit trembler les arbres et fit fuir les oiseaux de leurs perchoirs cachés. Elara recula en titubant, ses oreilles bourdonnant. Les ailes de la mère se déployèrent, masquant la lumière chatoyante de l'arc-en-ciel. Elle était piégée. L'esprit d'Elara s'emballa. Elle ne pouvait pas combattre un dragon, et courir ne servait à rien. Sa main effleura la petite poche à sa taille. À l'intérieur se trouvait une fiole d'extrait de dragonbane, suffisamment puissante pour abattre même une créature de cette taille. Mais l'utiliser signifierait tuer la mère. Et sans elle, le bébé ne survivrait pas. Un pari désespéré « S'il te plaît, » dit Elara, la voix brisée. Elle tomba à genoux, se forçant à croiser le regard du dragon. « Je ne veux pas te faire de mal, ni à ton enfant. Mais mon frère est en train de mourir. Il a besoin du Cœur de Feu. J'en ai besoin. » Les yeux dorés du dragon vacillèrent, son grognement s'adoucit en un grondement sourd. Pendant un instant, Elara crut voir quelque chose – une compréhension, peut-être ? Ou était-ce son imagination ? Avant qu'elle ne puisse réagir, le dragon bougea. D'un mouvement rapide, elle plongea ses énormes griffes dans le nid et arracha une seule écaille du dragonnet endormi. Le bébé s'agita mais ne se réveilla pas, son petit museau tressaillant tandis qu'il s'enroulait plus profondément dans la chaleur de l'arc-en-ciel. La mère dragon tendit l'écaille vers Elara, son regard inébranlable. Elara hésita, puis tendit les mains tremblantes. La balance était chaude, pulsant faiblement d'une lumière intérieure. C'était suffisant. Il le fallait. Le prix de la miséricorde Tandis qu'elle se tenait debout, serrant la balance contre sa poitrine, le dragon souffla, un son qui ressemblait presque à une approbation. La lumière de l'arc-en-ciel commença à s'estomper, la clairière devenant de plus en plus sombre. Elara recula lentement, ses yeux ne quittant jamais la mère dragon jusqu'à ce que la forêt l'engloutisse une fois de plus. Elle courut à travers les arbres, sur les racines et les rochers, jusqu'à ce que ses poumons brûlent et que ses jambes menacent de lâcher. Lorsqu'elle atteignit enfin la lisière de la forêt, les premiers rayons de l'aube perçaient à l'horizon. Dans sa main, la balance brillait faiblement, un phare d'espoir. Son frère survivrait. Mais lorsqu'elle jeta un coup d'œil à la forêt sombre et silencieuse, elle ne put se défaire du sentiment d'avoir laissé une partie d'elle-même derrière elle, nichée dans l'étreinte d'un arc-en-ciel. Ramenez la magie à la maison Inspiré par le conte enchanteur « Niché dans l'étreinte d'un arc-en-ciel » ? Vous pouvez désormais apporter ce moment magique dans votre vie quotidienne avec de superbes produits arborant cette œuvre d'art : Tapisserie - Ornez vos murs des teintes vibrantes de l'arc-en-ciel et de la douce sérénité du dragon endormi. Impression sur toile - Une pièce intemporelle pour n'importe quel espace, donnant vie à la magie du berceau de l'arc-en-ciel. Puzzle - Plongez dans les détails complexes en reconstituant cette scène mythique. Sac fourre-tout - Emportez une touche de fantaisie avec vous partout où vous allez. Laissez la magie de cette histoire et de cette œuvre d'art vous inspirer chaque jour. Découvrez la collection complète ici .

par Bill Tiepelman

L'enfer rencontre l'Eden

Lors de la dernière nuit de l'année, alors que le monde retient son souffle en attendant l'aube d'un nouveau départ, les forces anciennes se réveillent. Bien avant les comptes à rebours et les feux d'artifice modernes, une bataille faisait rage le soir du Nouvel An entre deux forces primordiales : l'Enfer et l'Eden. Leur affrontement est à la fois un avertissement et une bénédiction, une histoire qui se raconte à voix basse depuis des générations, mais qui est rarement comprise. L'éveil Alors que l'année touche à sa fin, une déchirure se forme dans la structure du monde. Caché sous la surface de la terre, dans une caverne de feu en fusion et de racines emmêlées, Inferno s'agite. Son corps est forgé de pierre noire fissurée, palpitant de veines de magma rougeoyantes qui coulent comme du sang. Ses yeux flamboient de la faim de destruction, brûlant les restes de ce qui ne sert plus le monde. Il s’élève dans un rugissement tonitruant, faisant trembler les montagnes et fendre la terre. « Le temps est venu », grogne-t-il, sa voix résonnant avec une puissance primitive. « Les anciens doivent brûler. Ce qui est mort doit être oublié. Ce qui est faible doit périr. » De l'autre côté de la caverne, Eden se réveille. Son corps est une tapisserie de verts vibrants et de bleus chatoyants, ses cheveux une forêt en cascade de mousse et de vignes. De minuscules oiseaux et des insectes lumineux voltigent autour d'elle, et des ruisseaux d'eau cristalline coulent du bout de ses doigts. Ses yeux sont calmes mais perçants, un rappel que la vie est aussi fragile que résiliente. « Tu es toujours pressé de détruire, mon frère », dit Eden en s’avançant. Sa voix est douce mais ferme, pleine d’une autorité tranquille. « Mais la destruction seule est creuse. Si tout ce que tu laisses, c’est de la cendre, qui en sortira grandi ? » Inferno grogne, ses griffes raclant le sol rocailleux. « Et toi, ma sœur, tu voudrais noyer le monde dans ta croissance sans fin. Sans feu, il n’y a pas de place pour la vie. Sans mort, il n’y a pas de renaissance. » « Alors voyons, comme nous le faisons chaque année », répond Eden, d’un ton ferme. « Testons l’équilibre. » La danse éternelle Les deux forces pénètrent dans la vaste caverne, qui se transforme en un champ de bataille sans limites. Au-dessus d'eux, le ciel se divise en deux : une moitié embrasée par le feu, l'autre scintillant d'une lumière émeraude et azur. L'air vibre de tension alors qu'Inferno charge, ses griffes laissant des traces de roche en fusion dans leur sillage. Eden se déplace avec grâce, ses pas faisant pousser des fleurs et des arbres qui poussent en un instant, pour être ensuite brûlés par la chaleur d'Inferno. Alors qu'il se jette sur elle, elle lève une main et un mur de vignes jaillit du sol, bloquant son chemin. Les vignes grésillent et brûlent, libérant un nuage de vapeur parfumée. « Est-ce que tu le sens, Inferno ? » demande Eden, sa voix portant par-dessus le crépitement des flammes. « Les graines enfouies dans tes cendres ? Elles germent en ce moment même, au milieu de ta fureur. » L'enfer gronde, déclenchant une vague de feu qui brûle le champ de bataille. « Et tu ressens cela, Eden ? Ta précieuse croissance ne peut pas résister éternellement à mes flammes. Tes arbres se fanent, tes rivières bouillonnent. Tout doit prendre fin. » Eden s’avance sans crainte, son regard se croisant. « Oui, frère, tout doit finir. Mais tu oublies que chaque fin est un début. De ta destruction, j’apporte la vie. Sans moi, ton feu n’a aucun sens. » Inferno s’arrête, ses yeux en fusion se rétrécissent. Pendant un instant, la caverne devient silencieuse, à l’exception du sifflement de la vapeur et du crépitement des braises. « Et sans moi, grogne-t-il, ta croissance étoufferait le monde. Tu l’étoufferais sous des racines sans fin, le noierais dans ton abondance suffocante. » « Peut-être », dit Eden, un léger sourire aux lèvres. « C’est pour cela que nous avons besoin l’une de l’autre. C’est pour cela que le monde a besoin de nous deux. » La leçon de l'équilibre La bataille fait rage, chaque coup et contre-coup colore le champ de bataille de feu et de vie. Les flammes d'Inferno consument la forêt créée par Eden, mais des cendres, une nouvelle vie jaillit. Les rivières d'Eden éteignent sa rage ardente, mais la vapeur monte et se condense en tempêtes qui alimentent sa croissance. C'est un équilibre qu'aucun des deux ne peut rompre, bien que tous deux essaient chaque année. Alors que l'horloge approche de minuit, Inferno se précipite en avant, libérant une dernière vague de feu dévastatrice qui consume tout le champ de bataille. Pendant un moment, tout est silencieux, le monde baigné d'une étrange lueur orange. Puis, du sol carbonisé, une seule pousse verte émerge. Elle grandit rapidement, devenant un arbre qui s'étend vers les cieux, ses racines entrelacées avec le noyau en fusion d'Inferno. Les deux forces s'arrêtent, leurs regards se croisent. « Et ainsi, ça recommence », dit doucement Eden, posant sa main sur l’écorce de l’arbre. « L’ancien fait place au nouveau. » Inferno rit, un son profond et grondant. « Tu trouves toujours un moyen, ma sœur. Mais un jour, peut-être que mes flammes brûleront trop fort pour que même toi tu puisses t'en remettre. » « Peut-être », répond Eden, sa voix semblable au bruissement des feuilles dans le vent. « Mais jusqu’à ce jour, je continuerai à grandir. Et le monde aussi. » L'aube d'une nouvelle année Alors que l'horloge sonne minuit, le champ de bataille disparaît et le monde retourne à son sommeil silencieux. Des feux d'artifice illuminent le ciel, en hommage aux flammes de l'Enfer. Des acclamations et des rires résonnent dans l'air, une célébration de la promesse de renouveau de l'Eden. La légende de l’Enfer et de l’Eden est oubliée par la plupart des gens, mais sa leçon demeure dans le cœur de tous ceux qui célèbrent la nouvelle année. C’est le moment de réfléchir, de se libérer et de grandir. D’embrasser la passion ardente du changement tout en cultivant les graines de l’espoir. Car sans destruction et sans renouveau, il ne peut y avoir de progrès, ni de vie. Et ainsi, le cycle continue, année après année, tandis que l’Enfer et l’Eden exécutent leur danse éternelle, rappelant au monde l’équilibre délicat entre le chaos et la création. Bonne année, où l'Enfer rencontre l'Eden, et le passé fait place au futur. Donnez vie à la légende Célébrez l'équilibre éternel entre destruction et renouveau avec des produits exclusifs inspirés de la légende de l'Enfer et de l'Eden. Que vous cherchiez à décorer votre espace ou à emporter avec vous un morceau de cette histoire intemporelle, ces articles sont le moyen idéal d'incarner l'esprit de transformation et de croissance. Tapisserie Inferno Meets Eden – Transformez n’importe quel mur en un chef-d’œuvre avec cette superbe représentation du choc élémentaire. Impression sur toile – Une œuvre d’art audacieuse et durable qui capture la passion ardente et la sérénité luxuriante du conte du dragon. Sac fourre-tout – Emportez la légende avec vous partout où vous allez grâce à ce design écologique et artistique. Impression sur bois – Une façon rustique et unique d’afficher la puissance et l’harmonie de l’Enfer et de l’Eden. Cliquez sur les liens ci-dessus pour explorer la collection et trouver la pièce parfaite pour inspirer votre voyage vers la nouvelle année.

par Bill Tiepelman

Balances scintillantes et contes de Noël

La neige avait recouvert la forêt d’une épaisse couche scintillante, le genre de neige qui vous fait remettre en question chaque décision de vie qui précède une randonnée dans la forêt. Au milieu de ce paysage hivernal se tenait Marla, emmitouflée dans plusieurs couches de laine et faisant de mauvais choix, contemplant le spectacle le plus inattendu qu’elle ait vu de toute l’année : un minuscule dragon, scintillant comme un projet Pinterest qui a mal tourné, assis sous un sapin de Noël. « Tu te moques de moi », marmonna Marla en serrant son écharpe contre le vent mordant. Elle s'était inscrite pour une randonnée hivernale paisible, pas pour cette absurdité magique. Le dragon, pas plus grand qu’un chat domestique, leva les yeux de sa tâche consistant à décorer l’arbre avec des ornements. Ses écailles scintillaient de teintes émeraude, saphir et or, reflétant la lumière des bougies comme une boule à facettes surdouée. D’un mouvement dramatique de la queue, il déposa un dernier ornement – ​​un ornement étrangement voyant qui semblait provenir d’un bac de déstockage – sur une branche givrée et cligna lentement des yeux à Marla. C’est alors qu’elle remarqua les minuscules bois sur sa tête, comme si quelqu’un avait essayé de croiser un dragon avec un renne. « Oh, super, une créature magique avec une ambiance de vacances », dit Marla, la voix pleine de sarcasme. « Exactement ce dont j’avais besoin pour rendre cette randonnée encore plus étrange. » Le dragon inclina la tête et pépia, un son qui se situait entre le miaulement d'un chaton et le grincement d'une porte. Puis il ramassa un ornement rouge, se dandina vers elle sur ses minuscules pattes griffues et laissa tomber la babiole dans ses bottes. Il leva les yeux avec impatience, battant légèrement des ailes, comme pour dire : « Alors ? Vas-tu m'aider ou rester là à grogner ? » Marla soupira. Elle n’était pas vraiment connue pour son amour des fêtes. Chaque mois de décembre, elle se battait contre le chaos des achats de cadeaux de dernière minute, les fêtes de bureau qui ne pouvaient être supportées qu’avec de copieuses quantités de lait de poule alcoolisé, et la soirée annuelle de « charades passives-agressives » de sa famille. Mais cette fois-ci… c’était quelque chose de complètement différent. Et même si elle avait envie de faire demi-tour et de retourner à la sécurité de sa file d’attente Netflix, les grands yeux larmoyants du dragon la faisaient hésiter. « D’accord », dit-elle en se baissant pour ramasser la décoration. « Mais si ça se transforme en une sorte de scène étrange digne d’un film Hallmark, je me retire. » Le dragon pépia de nouveau, visiblement content, et regagna l'arbre en trombe. Marla le suivit, grommelant à voix basse que son thérapeute allait s'en donner à cœur joie avec cette histoire. En accrochant la décoration sur une branche vide, elle remarqua que l'arbre n'était pas seulement décoré de guirlandes et de babioles habituelles. Parmi les branches se trouvaient de minuscules volutes dorées, des bouquets de gui qui scintillaient comme s'ils étaient saupoudrés de vraie poussière d'étoiles et des bougies qui brûlaient sans fondre. C'était, franchement, absurde. « Tu t'es vraiment investi dans ce thème, hein ? » demanda Marla en jetant un coup d'œil au dragon. « Et ensuite, un petit costume de Père Noël ? » Le dragon soupira, une bouffée de fumée scintillante s'échappa de ses narines, et se remit à fouiller dans un tas de décorations qui étaient mystérieusement apparues de nulle part. Il en sortit une étoile miniature, que Marla soupçonnait d'être en or véritable, et la lui tendit. Elle la plaça sur la plus haute branche de l'arbre, ce qui lui valut un cri de joie de la part de son nouveau compagnon de fête. « Alors, c'est quoi le problème ? » demanda-t-elle en croisant les bras. « Es-tu une sorte de mascotte de Noël ? Un lutin qui fait des siennes ? Ou est-ce que j'hallucine parce que j'ai sauté le petit-déjeuner ? » Le dragon ne répondit pas, bien sûr, mais il fit un petit tour qui envoya une rafale de flocons de neige dans les airs. Marla ne put s'empêcher de rire. « Très bien, très bien. Je suppose que tu es plutôt mignon, dans le genre « chaos magique ». Tandis qu’ils continuaient à décorer, Marla sentit son irritation initiale se dissiper. Il y avait quelque chose d’étrangement thérapeutique à suspendre des décorations avec un dragon scintillant qui n’avait aucune notion de l’espace personnel mais un enthousiasme indéniable pour l’esthétique des fêtes. Une fois terminé, l’arbre ressemblait à celui d’un roman fantastique – ou du moins à celui de la couverture d’une carte de vœux très chère. « D’accord », dit Marla en reculant pour admirer leur travail. « Pas mal pour un partenariat improvisé. Mais ne vous attendez pas à ce que je… » Ses paroles furent interrompues par le tintement des clochettes. Elle se retourna et vit le dragon tenant dans sa bouche un collier de minuscules grelots, l'air tout à fait satisfait de lui-même. Avant qu'elle ne puisse protester, il se lança dans une danse maladroite mais enthousiaste, secouant les clochettes et tournoyant autour de l'arbre. Marla éclata de rire, d'un rire sincère et profond comme elle n'en avait pas entendu depuis des mois. « D'accord, d'accord, tu as gagné », dit-elle en essuyant une larme de son œil. « Je l'avoue, c'est plutôt amusant. » Alors que le soleil disparaissait à l’horizon, l’arbre commença à briller doucement, ses décorations projetant une lumière chaude et magique sur la clairière enneigée. Marla s’assit à côté du dragon, qui se pelotonna à ses côtés en émettant un gazouillis satisfait. Pour la première fois depuis longtemps, elle ressentit un sentiment de paix – et peut-être même un peu d’esprit de vacances. « Tu sais, dit-elle en caressant les écailles chatoyantes du dragon, je survivrai peut-être à Noël cette année. Mais si tu dis à quelqu'un que je suis devenue sentimentale à cause d'un dragon magique, je le nierai. Tu as compris ? » Le dragon renifla, envoyant une autre bouffée de fumée scintillante dans l'air, et ferma les yeux. Marla se pencha en arrière, regarda les étoiles émerger une à une dans le ciel hivernal, et se laissa sourire. Peut-être, juste peut-être, cette période des fêtes ne serait pas si mal après tout. Ramenez la magie à la maison Si vous êtes tombé amoureux de ce conte fantaisiste, pourquoi ne pas apporter une touche de magie dans votre propre maison ? « Twinkle Scales and Holiday Tales » est désormais disponible sous la forme d'une variété de produits époustouflants adaptés à n'importe quel espace ou occasion. Choisissez parmi les options suivantes : Tapisseries – Parfaites pour transformer n’importe quel mur en un pays des merveilles hivernal festif. Impressions sur toile – Ajoutez une touche élégante à votre décor avec cette scène magique. Puzzles – Apportez une touche de joie des fêtes à votre soirée de jeux en famille avec ce superbe motif de dragon. Cartes de vœux – Envoyez une touche de fantaisie et de chaleur à vos proches cette saison. Découvrez-les et bien plus encore dans notre boutique et célébrez la magie de la saison avec style !

par Bill Tiepelman

Rêves de dragon sous les guirlandes

Noël à Bramblebush Hollow a toujours été une affaire de grande tradition, de joie réconfortante et de quelques accès de chaos à peine maîtrisé. Cette année, cependant, les choses ont pris une tournure inattendue lorsque l'esprit de Noël de la ville a été enflammé - littéralement - grâce à un dragon de la taille d'une pinte, cracheur de feu, nommé Gingersnap. Gingersnap n'était pas censé éclore avant le printemps, mais apparemment, quelqu'un avait oublié d'en informer l'œuf. C'était un charmant cadeau du sorcier Wilfred, qui avait oublié de mentionner que « le garder à température ambiante » signifiait également « ne pas le laisser près de la cheminée ». Ainsi, le 1er décembre, l'œuf s'ouvrit pour révéler un minuscule dragon aux couleurs de joyaux, aux ailes semblables à des vitraux et au tempérament aussi fougueux que son souffle. L'incident des guirlandes Tout a commencé de manière assez innocente. Agnès Buttercrumb, la coordinatrice officieuse des fêtes de la ville et la commère des habitants, avait invité Gingersnap à « l'aider » à décorer le sapin de Noël de la place de la ville. Comment pouvait-elle résister ? Avec ses grands yeux adorables et ses écailles chatoyantes, Gingersnap ressemblait à une carte Hallmark qui prenait vie, un atout pour tout tableau festif. Malheureusement, Gingersnap a mal compris la consigne. Au lieu de « suspendre » la guirlande, il l’a mangée. Pour être honnête, elle avait l’air délicieuse, comme des spaghettis brillants. Lorsqu’Agnès a essayé de récupérer la guirlande de ses minuscules mâchoires acérées comme des rasoirs, Gingersnap a émis un hoquet de désapprobation ardente, qui a rapidement mis le feu aux branches inférieures de l’arbre. « Tout va bien », marmonna Agnès en serrant les dents tandis que les habitants se précipitaient pour éteindre les flammes. « Tout va bien. C'est… rustique. » Elle tapota l'arbre en feu avec un sourire nerveux et drapa à la hâte quelques cannes de bonbon à moitié fondues sur les branches calcinées. « Cela ajoute du caractère, tu ne trouves pas ? » Vin chaud et chaos Au fil des jours, les facéties de Gingersnap s'intensifièrent. Au cours de la dégustation annuelle de vin chaud, il découvrit que la cannelle lui faisait picoter le nez d'une manière particulièrement amusante. Un éternuement plus tard, le pavillon de dégustation fut réduit en cendres et le maire fut aperçu en train de poursuivre le dragon à travers la place de la ville avec une louche, en criant : « Ce n'est pas prévu par les règlements municipaux ! » Le forgeron de la ville, Roger Ironpants, a adopté une approche plus pratique. « Ce n'est qu'un petit dragon », a-t-il raisonné en équipant Gingersnap d'une minuscule muselière en fer. « Si nous ne pouvons pas arrêter le feu, nous pouvons au moins le contenir. » Mais Gingersnap, toujours aussi doué pour l'évasion, a rapidement mâché la muselière et l'a utilisée comme jouet à mâcher. Puis il y a eu l'incident des chants de Noël. Oh, l'incident des chants de Noël. Douce nuit ? Pas de chance La veille de Noël, les habitants de la ville se sont rassemblés sur la place pour chanter leurs chants de Noël traditionnels aux chandelles. La scène était parfaite : la neige fraîche recouvrait le sol, les lanternes projetaient une lumière chaleureuse et les harmonies de la chorale remplissaient l'air. Gingersnap, perché au sommet des restes calcinés du sapin de Noël, semblait se comporter convenablement pour une fois, la tête penchée avec curiosité en écoutant la musique. Mais quelqu'un a alors frappé une note aiguë. Une note vraiment aiguë. Le genre de note qui fait hurler les chiens et qui, apparemment, fait perdre la tête aux dragons. Avec un cri d'enthousiasme, Gingersnap s'est joint à lui, ses cris perçants de dragon couvrant le chœur et brisant la moitié des décorations dans un rayon de quinze mètres. Pour couronner le tout, il a ponctué chaque cri d'une explosion de flammes de célébration, enflammant plusieurs recueils de chants et au moins l'écharpe d'un malheureux membre du chœur. « Douce nuit, petit monstre ! » hurla Agnès en lançant une boule de neige sur Gingersnap, qui prit aussitôt cela pour un jeu et commença à lui renvoyer des boules de neige avec sa queue. Le chaos s’installa. À la fin de la soirée, la place de la ville ressemblait moins à un pays des merveilles hivernal qu’à la suite d’un siège médiéval particulièrement agité. Le lendemain matin Le matin de Noël, les habitants se rassemblèrent sur ce qui restait de la place pour évaluer les dégâts. L'arbre n'était plus qu'un squelette carbonisé. Le vin chaud avait disparu. La moitié des décorations étaient brûlées au point d'être méconnaissables. Et pourtant, en regardant le petit dragon recroquevillé sous l'arbre calciné, ronflant doucement avec un petit sourire satisfait sur le visage, ils ne purent s'empêcher de rire. « Eh bien », a déclaré Roger Ironpants, « au moins il est festif. » « Et il n'a pas mangé le maire », ajouta Agnès, d'un ton à contrecœur optimiste. « C’est un miracle de Noël », murmura quelqu’un, et la foule éclata de rire. La légende de Gingersnap À partir de ce jour, Gingersnap est devenu un élément apprécié – bien que quelque peu chaotique – des traditions de Noël de Bramblebush Hollow. Chaque année, les habitants de la ville accrochaient des décorations ignifuges, préparaient du vin chaud supplémentaire et s'assuraient de faire des réserves de collations brillantes et adaptées aux dragons. Et chaque veille de Noël, alors que Gingersnap se perchait au sommet de l'arbre ignifuge de la ville, entonnant sa version dragon de « Jingle Bells », les habitants levaient leurs verres et portaient un toast à la mascotte de Noël la plus mémorable qu'ils aient jamais eue. Parce que, comme l’a si bien dit Agnès Buttercrumb, « Noël ne serait pas le même sans un peu de feu et de soufre. » Et pour Gingersnap, niché sous les guirlandes, c'était parfait. Ramenez du Gingersnap à la maison pour les vacances ! Vous aimez l'histoire de Gingersnap, le dragon malicieux de Noël ? Vous pouvez désormais ajouter une touche de magie fantaisiste des fêtes à votre propre maison ! Découvrez ces ravissants produits mettant en vedette « Dragon Dreams Beneath the Tinsel » : Tapisserie : Transformez vos murs avec cette superbe représentation vibrante de Gingersnap. Impression sur toile : ajoutez une pièce maîtresse festive à votre décor de vacances avec une impression sur toile de haute qualité. Puzzle : Reconstituez la magie avec ce puzzle de vacances amusant et stimulant. Carte de vœux : Partagez la joie de Gingersnap avec vos amis et votre famille grâce à cette charmante carte. Ne manquez pas votre chance d'apporter un peu de gaieté à vos festivités cette saison. Achetez la collection maintenant !

par Bill Tiepelman

Le dragon du bosquet de Noël

Bien avant que le Père Noël ne grossisse et que les elfes ne se syndiquent pour avoir de meilleures fêtes de fin d’année, il existait une autre histoire de magie de Noël : une légende enfouie au plus profond des forêts givrées et murmurée uniquement lors des nuits les plus longues et les plus froides. Le début de la fin… ou quelque chose comme ça Un matin de décembre où la gueule de bois était vraiment dure, le monde a failli prendre fin. Voyez, les humains, étant des humains, ont accidentellement brisé Noël. Quelqu'un a essayé d'invoquer un « esprit de Noël » avec trop de bougies Pinterest, une pincée de clou de girofle et une incantation latine qu'il a complètement mal prononcée. Au lieu d'un miracle chaleureux de Hallmark, le sort a ouvert une fissure lumineuse dans l'univers et en est sorti un dragon. Ce n'était pas un dragon métaphorique. Ce n'était pas un dragon mignon de dessin animé pour lequel on tricoterait des pulls. Oh non. Ce dragon était magnifique et aussi légèrement énervé . Ses écailles brillaient d'un vert et d'un rouge vicieux, si festifs qu'on aurait pu croire qu'il aurait dû être assis au sommet d'un arbre. Au lieu de cela, il se percha au sommet des restes brisés de son œuf-décor géant et dit d'une voix grave et grave : « QUI. M'A. CONVOQUÉ ? » La forêt devint silencieuse. Même les écureuils s'arrêtèrent en plein milieu de leur repas. Quelque part, un bonhomme de neige s'évanouit. Malheureusement, la réponse était : personne. Comme la plupart des problèmes humains, l'invocation avait été le fruit d'un effort collectif impliquant Karen, de la fête de fin d'année de HR, et la terrible idée de Greg de faire un « moment de feu de joie païen ». « Pouah, dit le dragon en regardant autour de lui avec des yeux qui clignotaient comme des guirlandes de Noël en panne. Dans quel siècle sommes-nous ? Pourquoi tout sent la menthe poivrée et le regret ? » Entrez : un héros (en quelque sorte) C'est là qu'intervient Marvin. Marvin n'était pas courageux. Il n'était pas beau. Il n'était même pas particulièrement sobre. C'était juste un type qui s'était aventuré dans les bois après que ses cousins ​​​​aient grillé son horrible pull de Noël. Marvin, serrant son lait de poule à moitié vide, est tombé sur le dragon. « Wouah, dit Marvin. C'est... c'est un gros lézard. » « Pardon ? » demanda le dragon, ses ailes se déployant de façon spectaculaire. Marvin le regarda en plissant les yeux, se balançant légèrement. « Es-tu, en quelque sorte, une métaphore du capitalisme ? » « JE SUIS CALDERYX, DESTRUCTEUR DE MONDES ! » rugit le dragon, tandis que les flocons de neige tourbillonnaient sauvagement autour de lui. « ... ET PEUT-ÊTRE UN MIRACLE DE VACANCES, SI VOUS JOUEZ BIEN VOS CARTES. » Marvin fronça les sourcils, réfléchissant longuement. « Alors… tu es là pour gâcher Noël ? » « Oh non, répondit Caldyrex. Je suis là pour régler le problème. L’humanité a clairement oublié comment faire la fête correctement. Vous l’avez transformée en pulls bon marché, en gâteaux aux fruits tièdes et en chants de Noël horribles chantés sur des tons nasaux aigus . » Marvin cligna des yeux. « Je veux dire, ouais. Ça colle. » Le plan de réforme de Noël du Dragon Ce qui suivit fut le réveillon de Noël le plus étrange de tous les temps. Avec Marvin comme ailier réticent, Caldyrex instaura sa Grande Réorganisation de Noël , ou comme l'appelait Marvin, « Festivus pour les damnés ». Étape 1 : Interdire la chanson « Feliz Navidad » après sa troisième répétition. Étape 2 : Faites fondre chaque gâteau aux fruits dans un puits de lave gluant pour faire bonne mesure. Étape 3 : Remplacez la fausse joie de Noël par quelque chose de mieux . « Qu'est-ce qui est mieux ? » demanda Marvin, confus. Caldyrex laissa échapper un panache de feu qui enflamma un pin voisin, créant un spectacle de lumière et d'ombre flamboyant. « Le chaos. Et aussi une vraie joie. As-tu déjà vu quelqu'un ouvrir un cadeau inattendu et crier « COMMENT L'AS-TU SAIT ? » C'est Noël, Marvin. C'EST DE LA MAGIE. » Marvin ne pouvait pas être en désaccord avec ça. La fin surprenante À minuit, Caldyrex a déclaré sa mission accomplie. Les habitants du village se sont réveillés et ont découvert des cadeaux mystérieux et personnalisés sur leur porche. Karen des RH a reçu des écouteurs antibruit. Greg a reçu un dictionnaire latin et une ordonnance d'interdiction de tous les feux de joie. Et Marvin ? Marvin se réveilla dans son salon avec un pull tout neuf, sur lequel était écrit « L'humain préféré du dragon ». Il sourit malgré lui. Quant à Caldyrex, le dragon se glissa dans son œuf décoratif avec un soupir satisfait. « À l’année prochaine, Marvin », dit-il, disparaissant dans un éclat de lumière dorée. « Garde la magie vivante. » Marvin leva son lait de poule en guise de salut. « Joyeux Noël, mon grand. » La morale de la légende Depuis, chaque Noël, la légende de Caldyrex se répand à voix basse, légèrement émue. Si vos fêtes vous semblent trop prévisibles, si vous avez entendu « Jingle Bell Rock » une fois de trop, guettez une décoration scintillante qui semble bourdonner de sa propre chaleur. Parce que parfois, la magie de Noël n'est pas douce et scintillante. Parfois, c'est un dragon qui vous crie de faire mieux. Et honnêtement, nous le méritons probablement. Ramenez la légende à la maison Si vous êtes tombé amoureux de l'histoire de Caldyrex, le dragon du bosquet de Noël , vous pouvez apporter un peu de magie (et de joie de Noël sarcastique) dans votre maison. Découvrez ces produits phares inspirés de la scène légendaire : Tapisserie : Transformez vos murs avec la lueur et la grandeur du dragon de Noël. Impression sur toile : un chef-d'œuvre époustouflant pour capturer la magie toute l'année. Puzzle : Reconstituez la légende une échelle lumineuse à la fois. Carte de vœux : envoyez un peu de chaos de vacances avec un message approuvé par le dragon. Célébrez la saison avec une touche de magie et une touche de feu. Caldyrex approuverait.

par Bill Tiepelman

La cathédrale enchantée de Noël

Ce n'était pas une veille de Noël typique. La neige tombait en cascades, tourbillonnant dans la nuit comme un ballet céleste. Mais ce n'était pas une nuit d'émerveillement silencieux, c'était une nuit de péril. Au fin fond des étendues glacées des Royaumes du Nord, la Cathédrale de Noël enchantée était illuminée, ses flèches telles des dents acérées s'élevant vers un ciel chargé d'étoiles. Le décor était planté et, au fond, le Père Noël n'était pas un vieil homme joyeux au ventre plein de rires. Ce soir-là, il était une légende. Un appel aux armes Le pôle Nord était assiégé depuis des semaines. Krampus, le démon ténébreux de l'anti-Noël, avait levé une armée de trolls des glaces et de spectres de glace, bien décidés à briser l'esprit des fêtes une fois pour toutes. L'attaque était précise, brutale et calculée. Les ateliers de jouets étaient gelés. Les rennes étaient capturés et enfermés dans des prisons glacées. Même la Mère Noël a dû repousser les créatures du gel avec son rouleau à pâtisserie (et elle en a abattu plus d'un). Le Père Noël savait qu'il ne pouvait pas compter sur la bonne humeur et la bonne volonté pour sauver la situation. Non, il fallait un guerrier, un général. Fouillant au plus profond de son passé, un passé enveloppé de mythes, le Père Noël découvrit le coffre-fort de l'éternité sous la cathédrale. À l'intérieur, la Lame de givre de la lumière éternelle brillait d'une puissance froide et rayonnante, et à côté d'elle se trouvait son armure, un chef-d'œuvre d'artisanat elfique complexe, orné de motifs de feuilles de houx, de gravures de cannes à sucre et d'un ensemble intimidant d'épaulettes en forme de lions des neiges rugissants. Alors que le Père Noël enfilait son équipement de combat, sa voix tonitruante résonna dans la salle sacrée. « Ils ont perturbé l'esprit des fêtes. » D'un coup de sa Lame de givre, il invoqua l'ancien Wyrm de givre, un dragon de glace légendaire lié à lui par un serment fait il y a des siècles. Le dragon émergea des profondeurs de la crypte gelée de la cathédrale, ses écailles cristallines scintillant comme les étoiles. Ensemble, ils formaient une force avec laquelle il fallait compter. Le siège de la veille de Noël La bataille faisait rage dans la cour de la cathédrale. D'immenses sapins de Noël se transformèrent en barricades de fortune tandis que les lutins fidèles du Père Noël se battaient vaillamment, brandissant des cannes à sucre aiguisées et des décorations explosives. Krampus lui-même émergea de l'ombre, ses cornes massives enveloppées de givre. « Tu as le monopole de la joie depuis des siècles, Claus ! rugit-il. Il est temps que le chaos règne ! » Le Père Noël sourit, sa barbe luisante de glace. « Chaos ? Tu te trompes de pin, mon pote. » Avec un cri de guerre qui fit trembler les cieux, il sauta sur le dos du Wyrm de givre et se lança dans la mêlée. Le dragon déchaîna des torrents de flammes bleues glaciales, découpant les rangs des spectres de givre comme une torche dans du papier de soie. Le Père Noël plongea au cœur du chaos, sa Lame de givre tranchant l'armure des trolls avec facilité, chaque coup laissant des traînées de givre scintillant dans l'air. Un interlude comique Bien sûr, tout ne s’est pas passé comme prévu. À un moment donné, le Père Noël s’est retrouvé momentanément distrait par un elfe particulièrement ambitieux nommé Nibsy, qui avait inventé un « traîneau-fusée à la menthe poivrée » pour contourner les trolls. Le traîneau a explosé en plein vol, arrosant le champ de bataille de bonbons enflammés. « Nibsy ! » a hurlé le Père Noël, en se baissant alors qu’un bonbon égaré passait à côté de sa tête. « C’est pourquoi j’ai opposé mon veto à ton idée de char en pain d’épices ! » « C'est un travail en cours ! » hurla Nibsy en retour, le visage couvert de suie, avant de saisir une canne à sucre aiguisée et de charger dans la mêlée. La confrontation finale Alors que la bataille atteignait son paroxysme, le Père Noël affronta Krampus à l'ombre du grand vitrail de la cathédrale. Le démon se déplaçait avec une agilité surprenante, brandissant ses deux faux avec une précision mortelle. Le choc de leurs armes envoya des ondes de choc dans la cour, brisant des décorations et renversant des sapins de Noël. « Abandonne, Claus ! » grogna Krampus. « Tu n'es qu'une relique d'une tradition en voie de disparition ! » Le Père Noël sourit, ses yeux brillants de détermination. « Une tradition en voie de disparition ? Je suis Noël ! » D’un puissant coup de Frostblade, il canalisa toute la puissance de l’esprit des fêtes, déclenchant une vague aveuglante de lumière et de givre. La force pure envoya Krampus voler dans une congère, où il resta étendu en gémissant, vaincu. « Et c'est pour ça », dit le Père Noël en plantant la Lame de Givre dans le sol, « que tu ne dois pas perturber mes vacances. » La paix rétablie Krampus vaincu, les spectres de glace se dispersèrent dans la nuit et les trolls des glaces se retirèrent dans leurs repaires de montagne. Les elfes poussèrent des acclamations, levant leurs armes bien haut, et le Wyrm de givre émit un rugissement triomphant qui résonna dans la toundra. Le Père Noël regarda le champ de bataille, désormais jonché de décorations brisées, d'éclats de cannes à sucre et de bonhommes de neige à moitié fondus. Il soupira en roulant des épaules. « Je suppose que j'ai beaucoup de choses à expliquer aux lutins des assurances. » La Mère Noël apparut, son rouleau à pâtisserie toujours à la main, et lui adressa un sourire entendu. « Je vais préparer du cacao, dit-elle. Tu nettoieras ce désordre. » Alors que les premiers rayons de l'aube perçaient à l'horizon, la cathédrale de Noël enchantée se dressait fièrement, un phare d'espoir et de résilience. Le Père Noël monta une dernière fois sur le Frostwyrm, prêt à offrir des cadeaux à un monde qui ne saurait jamais à quel point il était sur le point de perdre Noël. Parce que le Père Noël n'était pas seulement une légende. C'était un guerrier. Et Noël était son champ de bataille. Emportez chez vous la magie de la cathédrale de Noël enchantée Vous pouvez désormais apporter l'émerveillement et l'émerveillement de « La cathédrale de Noël enchantée » dans votre propre maison. Que vous recherchiez une superbe pièce de décoration de Noël ou un cadeau chaleureux, explorez notre collection exclusive de produits inspirés de ce conte légendaire : Tapisserie – Transformez n’importe quelle pièce avec la grandeur de la cathédrale et sa scène mythique, magnifiquement tissée dans une superbe tapisserie murale. Impression sur toile – Rehaussez votre décor de Noël avec une toile de qualité musée mettant en vedette le légendaire Père Noël et son dragon de givre. Carte de vœux – Partagez la magie avec vos amis et votre famille pendant cette période des fêtes grâce à nos superbes cartes de vœux. Impression sur bois – Apportez une touche rustique et intemporelle à votre maison avec cette superbe version imprimée sur bois de la scène épique. 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